crazy married to a libra. sounding bi polar

I have been married to a libra for 5 yrs. I was very much in love with him when we 1st married. well I never did feel like I should be married to him. but I loved him. anyways we have had our problems.I never wanted him to leave me. and he has always fought top stay. (we both cheated) at the end I always have cried to be with him.when we decide to work it out It always seems like its not what I really want. so we eventually went our separate ways and I have had some many different emotions. He always says he wants a divorce but he will not go file. I still cry to be with him but I am really starting to realize I really dont love him . So why am I putting up a fight. I really just want him to file. I love the attention he gives but when we entertained the fact of being back together I was actually disgusted.I knew that it was not what I really wanted. i dont know if this is a virgo thing or if its just me. i would like to remain friends with him we do have children. but Like I said I dont want him as a husband. any 1 have any insight. am i confused about my felings. why wont he just go file. all we do is fight and he ignores my calls or texts have the time. he cant say he stays for the kids hello we are separated. so please help .. any advice?

Why wait for him to file? You don't have to let him do the work on this, especially since it sounds like both of you have mutual feelings over this.

I should but I really dont have the money to file for divorce we have 3 children. its kinda tight for me. .. Okay if he is telling me to let go then why cant he just file? I mean I guess I really dont want to be the one that really ends it. I want this to be his decision. Now dont get me wrong I do have love for him but i dont want him.... I am confused with many different emotions. he takes everything personal . I sent him his horoscope and I thought it was interesting because we just had an issue with a legal document. and he told me i wasted his email space and to let it go.. but my thng is to me it sonds like he has not let go he has the money and has had the money to file for divorce but he will not do it.(he got a 12000 $ bonus in march) but he makes it sound like i am like still holding on to him.. and its not him I hold on to. he says he wants he divorce but its been a year nd he wont file. we fight. I think i feel by fighting him maybe he will just go. but he has not yet. ......blah blah I know.

the way i see it in a marriage: his money is your money and vise versa. you both want out and you both have the money. you're making too many excuses to claim you want the divorce as much as him.

no excuses. we dont live in the same house. our marriage has never been our money . is was always his or mine.. But again I have 3 small children. I work and go to school. My daycare bill alone is 1100 so nope I dont have the money and.. may be I can save. but my point is if he is lways quick to throw divorce in my face why cant he just go file.its easier for him then for me. and besides its looks better if he files 1st as far as alimony and child suppport is concerned. sory for the typos

because he is a Lib. and they seriously have a hard time w. taking responsibility
if he files then it looks bad on him as in- he left his wife and (3) kids, the horror!!
they have this perpetual need to remain innocent in the face of adversity

that's just my take.

I knew a Libra once that was just an acquaintance of mine...his ex girlfriend came into the bar and started coming up to our chairs and causing trouble (ie. calling me names and insinuating that we were dating or something, AND she was with a local city cop and BF)
I pushed her out of my personal space and because of the cop BF wound up on assault charges that were later dropped- you know this guy never backed me up!!

She did this on a number of occasions. The pussy Lib. never told me this was a live in GF at one point. So on one of the occasions she goes outside in a huff and dumps the guys Harley. I was all sticking up for him and talking to the police, that cop was a friend of mine, and come to find out thru the cop...the bike was in her name and she could do whatever she pleased at that point. he again never told me the deal he let me find out on my own thru a 3rd party...how lame.

They like to remain innocent or the victim until THEY have a reason to justify their actions and even then...they will remain on the innocent side of the fence even though they are 1/2 of the problem...instigators and then sit and wait...

This is so true. I kinda of know that.I sent some emails to his friends not trying to be mean but just to get them to talk to him and maybe try to explain to him my point of view. when I was writing the email Ill admit some of my emotions spilled in2 the email. I was wrong for that. However this really pissed him off.

I reently sent him some msgs because I had to examine myself. I was wrong and it was kind of my way of letting go. I feel that in order to truley let go you must admit your faults and flaws as well as how u felt the other person has treated you.well he acted like I did it because i wanted to be with him quoting him "Stop sending stuff. Whatever you tryna accomplish is a waste and you need to move on.let go of the though'and let me be". He just dont get it. and he will not file he is pushing me to move on and let him be. doesnt he know the best way is just to file.

I always notice he is trying to play innocent and he loves when I give him fuel to his fire because when I am being nice he cant take it. and he say something smart like I hope u dont think I am giving you wrong impression because we are not going to be together and honestly that was far from my mind.its like he has to remind himself of why he cant be with me by starting fights. he just will not let things flow. .. however my ex Libra has admitted many times I am not the problem its him.. He as never admitted this b4 the thing is he knows its him but he will not take the steps to make hisself better. well at least when I say something to him he tells me I am perfectly sane.

besides he has already left. but I will say he still takes care of us he still refers to me as his wife. its wierd. when his girlfriends ask him does he think we will get back together he says no. but anything can change. to me its like he is not fully aware of the situation.its like he really feels good with knowing he sends me money to take of us.

ITS NO EXCUSE. AS i SAID B4 I REALLY DONT WANNA BE THE ONE WHO ENDS THE MARRIAGE.. ALTHOUGH I DO WANT IT. I KNOW ITS SOUNDS SILLY.

I was cool with the comments up until this point when miss leo kitten started to judge me. you dont know me so how dare you judge me. yes I cheated. but that was me then 5yrs ago. I know what I was then and who I am now and what I am striving to be. I am a host of imperfections. however I will not allow u or anybody else define me by past. see I am honest. I bet you wouldnt wanna be judged by all your little dirty secrets in your closet. talk what u know stick with the facts.however I love my children.this is a mental thing for me. I when push comes to shove I will put in the papers. but why should I live on social services and he out their living the life freedom and luxary. why? He has the money to file he just got a huge bonus. I will have to have a lawry I am not familiar with all my rights. I want alimony I want it all. so yes although I cheated he had ever opp to leave in the beggingin I cheated in the begining of the marriage when we had nothing binding us together no kids ..blah blah.

"i have always found that those that cheat are inherently selfish people"


First of all, again stay with the facts hun. I do work full time and I go to school fulltime, I dont sit on my "ass" you have no idea what u are talking about.yes I worry about becoming another number, in the social service line. I am not complaining I am making it very clear that we will not go on any type of system. yes I am a bit selfish every 1 is in their own way;however that has nothing to do with me cheating. Most women do go cheat just to be doing its usually because they are not getting some type of attention from their partner Not saying this is an excuse but hey the truth is what it is.

I agree maybe I do need to go ahead and file. however that was not my question. he is financially better off then I am. why cant he do it. he has the money and been had it. he tries to threaten me with divorce. but still will not file. if libras are so much about balance and harmony then why wont he make the moves to make peace and have closure.... Does any 1 get my question goosh!!

SURE. HE ALRADY GIVES ME 1857 $ A MONTH THATS WHAT HE CHOOSES TO GIVE.. I HONESTLY DONT THINK NO JUDGE WILL AWARD ME THAT MUCH.. U KNOW NOTHING ABOUT MY MORALS. U LIVE AND LEARN.

men cheat; women cheat. that was in the past. her dilemma is a divorce, not something she did 5 years ago. girl, get the divorce....neither of you are happy and trust me, your kids know what is going on and it will affect them the longer you drag this out.

that is why she needs an atty in order to request the same amount now in a divorce settlement (which there are different types of divorce) and go from there...it does not sound like she has done her homework at all. It also sounds like she is seriously busy with (3) kids...work/school, etc.

I am hoping she has friends and family in the area to assist in taking the steps ...

not trying to be judgmental, but just for the record and my peace of mind...I gotta say this- in regard to cheating and you had nothing 'binding' (ie. kids) uh, what the hell are vows?? isnt that binding?? you are/were bound to your husband and dont dismiss the marriage vows- huge reason why we have so much divorce these days. No one takes them seriously.

I step down from my little box. thank you.

thank u moonmaddness. I agree. I was young and dumb mad a bad choice. I didnt honor my vows..I would like to get an attorney so I can maybe get the same amount I recieve now.


leokitten- thanks for you have finally answered my question. so my baseline is 30% .

the only reason y my letters turned into caps is because my son hit the caps lock button. thanks alot every1

i_gottaluvme1st ... i am married to Libra for 5 years as well. I will tell you this, a Libra will very rarely take initiative on important issues. If they do, it is only after they have thought long ... and i mean long, and hard about it first. My mother is a Libra and even she says, sometimes a push in the "right" direction is what he (a libra) needs. Anyhow, if filing is something that YOU want and that you think is best for everyone involved, then you will have to at least get the paperwork rolling. He will likely contribute to the costs of this, but you will have to take the first steps in getting this done. There is no point in prolonging it and/or in placing blame. Just do it, if you truly believe this is the best thing for you and your children ... and for him. Once this is done, then everyone can move on to happier and healthy lives.