damaged goods?

After reading posts on this board....I've seen the words "damaged libra" come up time and time again. What are the signs of a damaged libra? And I've had my heart broken a few times....why doesnt that make me considered a "damaged aquarius"? Is there just something with libras that when they get hurt it goes much deeper or something and people have to differentiate between a regular libra and a damaged one? please enlighten me!

It takes Libra men a longer time to get over lost loves/relationships than some... They need time to heal and reinvent themselves. Until they do they would rather not engage in another relationship whole heartedly until they can fairly do so to the other person.

You see they would rather let you go than to get in a relationship too soon and fail again, knowing they weren't emotionally ready. Being fair to you as a person. A lot of people take it as a cop out or playing games. In reality they are looking out for your best interest in the end. This is what many people don't get. They don't want to hurt you, and in return hurt themselves for hurting you.

Librans care and love on so many levels, they are able to love without being in love...

This I have learned mostly from a recent experience with a libra friend of mine, whom I adore. 🙂

* What are the signs of a damaged Libra?

Disinterest in pursing a romantic relationship with the person claiming the other person is damaged. lol!

In truth, it takes us forever to get over a heartbreak. Here people prefer to say the other person is "damaged" than accept that a) they might not be interested in a committed romantic relationship with that person, b) they just want to be friends, or c) they aren't ready to be in a romantic relationship. (even after being told repeatedly by said damaged person.)

I prefer saying the couple is incompatible because one person wants one thing and the other person wants something else. Incompatiblity is really what is going on.

The thing is Libras are pretty good-hearted natured people. We don't like hurting people. We love everyone. We try to be fair and kind but we also can be damn brillantly stubborn and don't like being pushed into anything. We usually say no very gently and then back away. We later resurface to let you know it isn't personal and that we do IN FACT care. This confuses people.

Just to add to my last point.

Just because we don't want a committed relationship with someone DOES NOT mean that we don't appreciate, respect, love that person. It is as QS said. It is just different than what that person really wants.

The libra guy i was dating was with his ex for 3 years off and on and from what i can tell he was more into her then she was into him. I think she dumped him for another guy and is now engaged to this guy...they got engaged after only a few months. Hes never said straight up that he is still getting over her and still hurt but im guessing i should take it that he is? Also, I was under the impression libras dont make rash decisions that they have to think about things. My libra must have made a rash one with wanting to be with me since he changed his mind about it. He said "because i wanted to be with you but i dont think i can right now." It's just so krazy how someone can go from want to wanted in a matter of hours. When i want someone, i want them. period.

p.s. I said to mr.libra. "your not ready for a relationship right now" and he convinced me that he was.....only to later tell me that he wasn't. I know ive been posting up a storm about the same scenario, but im hurt 😢

I hear ya XOXO !! My Libra did basically the same thing and then vanished!! WTH—?

he vanished without a word? you havent heard from him since?? no way...gosh. these damned guys dont recognize a good thing when its right in fron of them!

Libras are stubborn as it gets when it comes to "realizing what they have". A book can be written about this but to try and summerize in short it doesn't matter how awesome of a mate you are or think you are....you will be so when they decide you are. I know, it sounds screwed up but here is the bennifit in the end: They fell for you on their terms which is a much more genuine and deep bond then being convinced that the other person is right for them.

Showing signs of frustration with a Libra for their seeming lack of interrest, understanding or commitment will quietly get compartmentalized and categorized into the "looking out for their best interrests" box. Don't tell anyone they are either ready or not ready....accept them for who they are and let them make that decision for themselves. Were looking for an equal, not a parent, not a boss, not even a helper....this is the biggest mistake most people make when trying to get a libra to settle into a relationship with them...acting like your looking out for their best interrests. Really...purely objectivly under what normal circumstances it really more bennificial to commit yourself to ONE other person? When you love them and that is all.

he vanished without a word? you havent heard from him since?? no way...gosh. these damned guys dont recognize a good thing when its right in fron of them!

oops didnt mean to post that twice!

xoxo, you're right: they DON'T recognize a good thing when it's right in front of them.

Ouch! Libra's do recognize a good thing when they see it! It may not be a traditional sense of recognition, but we know all about a good thing. Which is why we are so confusing to others. It is very simple, if we are not ready, why take the leap with someone we obviously see as being completely worth it? Being able to see through a lot of problems before they arise is not a lack of judgement.

I have had several opportunities I had to pass up due to my so-called "damaged" state. One man, in fact, was an amazing person but I could see we were incompatible in many ways. He still is my friend and does not understand how I can be attracted to him and not want to be with him, but he respects my choices.

I think the term should be revised to libra being in a "damagING state" rather than being "damaged goods." the two are totally different. We simply wish to do no harm, and are obviously quite capable of it...

Just because you are a great person DOESN'T mean the libra in question doesn't realize it. It means you AREN'T the great person FOR THEM.

*sigh*

Nic. I give up.

People hear what they want and disregard the rest.

* One man, in fact, was an amazing person but I could see we were incompatible in many ways. He still is my friend and does not understand how I can be attracted to him and not want to be with him, but he respects my choices.

Thank you!

* It is very simple, if we are not ready, why take the leap with someone we obviously see as being completely worth it? Being able to see through a lot of problems before they arise is not a lack of judgement.

Thank you!

When we know that we aren't compatible and the relationship wouldn't work for us, why bother pursuing something that will ultimetly bring heartbreak?

Brillantly said by the way. Foresight and self-knowlege are not a lapses in judgement.

***Just because you are a great person DOESN'T mean the libra in question doesn't realize it. It means you AREN'T the great person FOR THEM.***

I think the confusion lies in the contradiction of the words versus the actions that are taken (or lack of them)when claiming to feel one way and then behaving in the opposite.

QS is sooooo right. They really do make good friends!!!

My Libra and I were such good friends, AFTER we had previously dated for a year and then separated due to long distance and schedule conflicts. Then when he wanted to get back together on a more intimate level, because I now live closer, I told him I didn't think it was a good idea. I really cherished the friendship. I didn't want to lose it if the relationship didn't work out the second time around. I didn't want to go through the pain of breaking it off again. We discussed how it was going to change the dynamics of our friendship if we did and I wanted him to be absolutely sure. He convinced me that he loved me so much it was worth the risk. WE got back together and Then,he disappeared. (this week makes 4 weeks no word) This is an extreme example of saying one thing and doing another but...the contradictions of saying one thing and doing the opposite happen on a small scale too. It's like he uses a different dictionary for what he says he means.

Things were much better when we were just friends. My heart didn't have any expectations and therefore no disappointments when it's just friends! I'll miss him that's for sure.

**I think the confusion lies in the contradiction of the words versus the actions that are taken (or lack of them)when claiming to feel one way and then behaving in the opposite.

EXACTLY.

one night i hear. "I want to be with you" "I'm so happy were together, its finally happened and now your mine" "I wasnt ready before but now i am"

a trip to mexico and a couple days later...."I think we should be friends. im not ready for a relationship" "i wanted to be with you but now i think im not ready"

WTF. dont know whether to think his words were all a lie or if there is truth in the lies...or they werent lies at all and he just got really freaked out. But really, what a way to mess with someones mind and emotions. And now everyones saying to take his words as the truth, he gets pissed when i get a text from an ex and then the next day considers me his friend. ouch. damaged aquarius.

"Just because you are a great person DOESN'T mean the libra in question doesn't realize it. It means you AREN'T the great person FOR THEM."

Your absolutely right. My Libra girlfriend was talking about one of her friends that she used to date. By her description she sounded very fond of him and I could tell there was a deep connection as in they understood and accepted each other for who they were. When I asked her why she broke up with him and why later if she felt that way she didn't give it another go she responded with "He is a great guy, a great guy for someone else." That is all she had to say, I understood where she was comming from with that. I have had relationships or romantic interrests or friends with a connection that could have been something more but I simple felt that while they would make a great partner, they would make a better partner for someone else.

I do however think that Libra women handle this better than Libra men...

"**I think the confusion lies in the contradiction of the words versus the actions that are taken (or lack of them)when claiming to feel one way and then behaving in the opposite. "

I have been guilty of this myself. Us Libra guys have a genuine love and respect for you ladies that seems to run so deep I am waiting for scientists to find a gene in Libras that explains it. the thing is, while we are saying stuff like "I am sorry but I don't want to be with you" we also want to comfort you as we say it. It tears us in both directions one being the self realistic admission it won't work despite all of the "potential" and the other direction wanting to protect you from pain....even the pain we bring you. Basically we are wusses when it comes to being fast and strait with the hard topics regarding those who we care deeply for and care deeply for us. Not to excuse this kind of behavior....but if that provides any insight then rock on. I agree though....being strung along and contradicting ourselves has to be pretty crappy to others.

Yup that part is crappy that's for sure.

Im sure though, that there are many instances where Librans have turned those they cared about and cared about them away and then later regretted doing so. There are always those cases of those who realise before its too late and then re-connect down the track if that person is still open to it....there are all sorts of possibilities and sometimes the hard way is the best way.

But one thing I have learnt and I know quite a few Librans now....LISTEN to what they say when they say they are "not ready right now"...its the truth and yes they hurt deeply knowing they hurt you, they bleed for a long time. I found out only last night that Libra 1 (OMG Im down to numbers now LOL) is once again in a state of depression when I HAD to end our r/ship 5 weeks ago (because after a year of non-committal, I had to move on)...I spent quite some time talking to him last night and understand him ever so much more and he was hurting because he does love me but he's just not ready to give me what I want/need...there I was thinking he had moved on and plain forgotten I existed...these guys run so deep and it saddens me that things are as they are between us....I am though, showing him as much friendship and loyalty as I can without becoming emotionally involved again. Friendship means a LOT to me, especially with him.

At the end of the day it hurts them more than it hurts others, they just don't show it as other signs would/do...but trust that there is a lot of pain at times. There's no point being angry at them...that blasted charm!!!

There's something about "damaged ___" that doesn't sit right.
Place that analogy into a situation with a rape victim and you see how it's awry. Someone in that situation isn't at all "damaged"; to say someone is damaged is to say they're less than whole, less than a person even. It's pretty disrespectful.
I would say "hurt", but not damaged - it objectifies and trivialises what they've gone through and who they are.

Sure, Libras are pretty things, but once broken doesn't mean sold.

LS, we DO listen to you and take into consideration your point of view---it's just that, at times, you are so adamant that only your point of view is right that it makes things difficult. I think Chatz and others have a good point: there ARE times when Libras miss out on a GOOD THING for THEM---they either ponder too long before acting or look at their PAST relationships to judge the current one or they just DON'T KNOW (except in hindsight) that that particular person is good for them. YES, we need to LISTEN when someone says, "just friends"---but I don't buy that Libra is always RIGHT about their judgment calls on relationships, because no one is!

I don't like the term "damaged" either---I don't believe it refers to the PERSON themselves, but certainly can relate to their EMOTIONS and, judging from this Boad, there seem to be MANY emotionally damaged Libras----maybe because of their sensitivey or not knowing themselves or being misunderstood. Who knows? We just know that various relationships have gone back and forth, off and on, hot and cold, with Libra.

There are many coloquilism's that I'm not comfortable with either and I agree that some may take offense to the word "damaged" when applied in context to people. Personally,I think we're all damaged in one way or another.Some just MORE then others. (hehehehe) but it's just slang you guys and it's been around for a while. I don't think it's as bad as some "other" words that shouldn't be used at all as they are considered profanity or out and out offensive and we all know which ones those are! 😉

I always miss out on good things for myself. I just wait and watch them pass, knowing what I might be missing, but then preferring the peace of status quo. On hindsight, things might have been different or better if I had jumped on the offer, but I know I chose to wait because it was what I wanted at that time and it was for the best interest of myself.

Just like watching the autumn leaves fall season after season - things that remain are always yours; things that disappear never were.

***We usually say no very gently and then back away. We later resurface to let you know it isn't personal and that we do IN FACT care. This confuses people.***

Exactly...