LibraSid
@LibraSid
15 Years1,000+ PostsLibra
Comments: 0 · Posts: 4581 · Topics: 75
Finding balance in during hard times.
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TBH I just ride out the storm. It makes me grow emotionally.
There are a few ways
- read a good book
- get some guidance or feedback from others (as you're doing now)
- take a step back and don't mess up the mess further.
- keep a journal. It helps you see what is happening from a more objective place, and even bring on some new ideas.
Do things you enjoy, & realise what you go through is inevitable - there's nothing you can do to stop it. And after the ordeal, there is something else that requires the current lesson to handle.
There are a few ways
- read a good book
- get some guidance or feedback from others (as you're doing now)
- take a step back and don't mess up the mess further.
- keep a journal. It helps you see what is happening from a more objective place, and even bring on some new ideas.
Do things you enjoy, & realise what you go through is inevitable - there's nothing you can do to stop it. And after the ordeal, there is something else that requires the current lesson to handle.
Just as spica states above......you just have to ride it out. Things will eventually get better.
Surround yourself with positive ppl and things
Eat wholesome food,you enjoy
Phone up your bestmate from uni/college and have a good laugh.
There will be time when your alone and you will feel sad/down.....allow youself time to grieve BUT dont spend ages in the black hole. It will cripple your recovery.
Am also at my nadir,at the moment....but slowly i am addressing each issues and dealing with it.
Its hard but you need to heal yourself.
Surround yourself with positive ppl and things
Eat wholesome food,you enjoy
Phone up your bestmate from uni/college and have a good laugh.
There will be time when your alone and you will feel sad/down.....allow youself time to grieve BUT dont spend ages in the black hole. It will cripple your recovery.
Am also at my nadir,at the moment....but slowly i am addressing each issues and dealing with it.
Its hard but you need to heal yourself.
Taking the available actions on things like you are currently doing is the most important way I think.
The next most important thing is to have something that you can use to blow off steam, or if you don't feel like pressure is building just to escape to and focus on for short periods on a regular basis.
For me, when life deals a bit of an ass whooping, it is important that I keep my efforts balanced between what I have to do and something that falls into the category of what I want to do. This prevents the risk of falling into the feeling that whatever it is I am dealing with is taking over rather than me taking it over.
Lastly, the friends that offer to help, let them help if even just a little. I am the type of person that doesn't like to involve other people in my problems. I feel like I am putting them out if I take their assistance with something.
The next most important thing is to have something that you can use to blow off steam, or if you don't feel like pressure is building just to escape to and focus on for short periods on a regular basis.
For me, when life deals a bit of an ass whooping, it is important that I keep my efforts balanced between what I have to do and something that falls into the category of what I want to do. This prevents the risk of falling into the feeling that whatever it is I am dealing with is taking over rather than me taking it over.
Lastly, the friends that offer to help, let them help if even just a little. I am the type of person that doesn't like to involve other people in my problems. I feel like I am putting them out if I take their assistance with something.
Oh I forgot the most important thing: Mindset.
You will have the rest of your live to think over this situation and all of the things that you and everyone else did right or wrong. Until it becomes a past issue maintain the mindset that everything happens for a reason and find the silver lining in all of the bad things that make it up.
If you believe that even though it FEELS like it all sucks, what is happening is actually best for everyone involved (including your enemies) then it helps to stay focused and objective about dealing with all of the crap that comes with it and as a result handle it the best anyone possibly could.
You will have the rest of your live to think over this situation and all of the things that you and everyone else did right or wrong. Until it becomes a past issue maintain the mindset that everything happens for a reason and find the silver lining in all of the bad things that make it up.
If you believe that even though it FEELS like it all sucks, what is happening is actually best for everyone involved (including your enemies) then it helps to stay focused and objective about dealing with all of the crap that comes with it and as a result handle it the best anyone possibly could.
The only thing that works for me is being really gentle and compassionate with myself. Lots of baths. Lots of quiet time. Lots of journaling and really looking at the situation, where it came from, yadda.
Then I always find it comforting to refocus on what I DO want. I actually had to do that last night after an upsetting experience with my ex last weekend. After a week of brooding and self-pity, I reminded myself of what I want. The type of people I want in my life, what I want to be doing, etc. I feel much more positive and motivated today.
Also, have a little senseless fun. Do something random and crazy and fun and laugh your ass off. Fun is potent stuff.
Sending you a hug.
Then I always find it comforting to refocus on what I DO want. I actually had to do that last night after an upsetting experience with my ex last weekend. After a week of brooding and self-pity, I reminded myself of what I want. The type of people I want in my life, what I want to be doing, etc. I feel much more positive and motivated today.
Also, have a little senseless fun. Do something random and crazy and fun and laugh your ass off. Fun is potent stuff.
Sending you a hug.
For me, seclusion from the world and people, that way i cna pray, focus on what i need to fix without any outside advice and i need a physica lrelease too b/c all that time and thinling about pain can eat away at you
I appreciate the responses everyone is giving. I am doing most of what is mentioned here, I guess I am just impatient. Like I said, I know all of this is temporary and I have already grown a lot and discovered a lot about myself during all this. I am just ready to move on to the next chapter and "the details" of everything is making it take a lot longer than I would like it to. So much stuff is still up in the air and I know how I want (and expect) it to fall, it's just waiting for it to happen.
I actually went through the grieving process a lot faster than I thought I would. I did the journal, talked out the details with a trusted friend, etc. I even started the diet/exercise thing that everywhere says to do and have had great results so far. All in all I feel good about the future, I just want it to hurry up and get here =)
I actually went through the grieving process a lot faster than I thought I would. I did the journal, talked out the details with a trusted friend, etc. I even started the diet/exercise thing that everywhere says to do and have had great results so far. All in all I feel good about the future, I just want it to hurry up and get here =)
Posted by LibraSid
I appreciate the responses everyone is giving. I am doing most of what is mentioned here, I guess I am just impatient. Like I said, I know all of this is temporary and I have already grown a lot and discovered a lot about myself during all this. I am just ready to move on to the next chapter and "the details" of everything is making it take a lot longer than I would like it to. So much stuff is still up in the air and I know how I want (and expect) it to fall, it's just waiting for it to happen.
I actually went through the grieving process a lot faster than I thought I would. I did the journal, talked out the details with a trusted friend, etc. I even started the diet/exercise thing that everywhere says to do and have had great results so far. All in all I feel good about the future, I just want it to hurry up and get here =)
Oh I understand that! I really want this time in my life to be done. So much has changed since January, I fear more change ahead. I just want to get on steady ground again. Enough with change!
I feel for you Sid.
Posted by little_sparrowPosted by LibraSid
I appreciate the responses everyone is giving. I am doing most of what is mentioned here, I guess I am just impatient. Like I said, I know all of this is temporary and I have already grown a lot and discovered a lot about myself during all this. I am just ready to move on to the next chapter and "the details" of everything is making it take a lot longer than I would like it to. So much stuff is still up in the air and I know how I want (and expect) it to fall, it's just waiting for it to happen.
I actually went through the grieving process a lot faster than I thought I would. I did the journal, talked out the details with a trusted friend, etc. I even started the diet/exercise thing that everywhere says to do and have had great results so far. All in all I feel good about the future, I just want it to hurry up and get here =)
Oh I understand that! I really want this time in my life to be done. So much has changed since January, I fear more change ahead. I just want to get on steady ground again. Enough with change!
I feel for you Sid.click to expand
Change is good....it helps us to grow.
To an extent. In the last year, I have kicked out my entire foundation. So I am kind of free falling at the moment, with nothing but faith in self as my sail. I am looking forward to stability. I know that it is on the road ahead somewhere. 🙂
Posted by little_sparrow
To an extent. In the last year, I have kicked out my entire foundation. So I am kind of free falling at the moment, with nothing but faith in self as my sail. I am looking forward to stability. I know that it is on the road ahead somewhere. 🙂
Exactly.
Change is inevitable and is nothing to fear. Everyone changes everyday. A little change isn't the problem, the free fall sucks though.
You kicked out your own foundation?
I left my job. Went back to school and left my long-term relationship. Lost two of my cornerstones and a lot of the relationships that I depended on. i.e. Lost a lot of coworkers and partner's friends who I use to socialize with.
Yeah, that's a lot of shaking up going on. I just saw that comment on the other thread about the aries guy and you are right. You'll be okay. Good for you for keeping your head held high.
awww thanks Sid. That is really sweet of you. You'll be okay too.
read Osho. Emotional Wellness.. helped me.
Posted by TasteOfChaos
I go into hibernation until the storm has passed...
The outcome of this storm is too important to sleep through. I have to keep composure and act like it hasn't phased me. I still have to go to work everyday, maintain the house, pay bills, etc.
I think I am going stir crazy here. I am used to a loud house. I grew up with two brothers and have never lived alone. My kids went to stay with my mother (a few states away) 10 days ago. I have went out a few times but I don't really like bars. I don't agree with the people there. That became painfully obvious to me this past Friday when a married woman tried to kiss me... I dodged her and told her to go home and talk to her husband, haha! Also, I also didn't grow up here in TX so the people I have known my whole life are 1600 miles away. I have talked to them on the phone but it's different.
I did the isolation thing when the breakup first happened. I went to work, came home and took care of the kids, and slept. Rinse and repeat for a few months. During that time I came to terms with everything that was happening. Now I guess... I don't know. This feels like it isn't even my life. It's just weird.
The free fall mentioned earlier is a good way to describe it. I know everything will get sorted out, I just want some sense of normalcy back.
Wow that was a rambling of a post...
I did the isolation thing when the breakup first happened. I went to work, came home and took care of the kids, and slept. Rinse and repeat for a few months. During that time I came to terms with everything that was happening. Now I guess... I don't know. This feels like it isn't even my life. It's just weird.
The free fall mentioned earlier is a good way to describe it. I know everything will get sorted out, I just want some sense of normalcy back.
Wow that was a rambling of a post...
Taste, I love that t-shirt. I need one! I went to your page to blow it up, and saw your chart. If you had a penis, you would be perfect for me. Any chance you have a twin brother? I promise to be gentle. *bats eyelashes*
Sid
What about getting a pet?
What about getting a pet?
It is indeed interesting. Oddly enough, mine is one off the "hot spot" birthdays listed in the video on pg5 of that thread ( yay =/ ). I have read some other stuff about the Cardinal Climax he mentioned recently too. I have also looked into Numerology. Everything I have read says that the first half or two-thirds of this year are going to be shitty for me. At least that time frame is almost up... side note on this time frame, that's about when my custody and divorce should be finalized and I'll get back some normalcy that I have been wanting.
Very strange how this is all tying together.
Now someone needs to invent a remote control that will let me fast forward my life a few months.
Very strange how this is all tying together.
Now someone needs to invent a remote control that will let me fast forward my life a few months.
Posted by little_sparrow
Sid
What about getting a pet?
The X took the dog...
No seriously, she left the kids with me but took the dog haha!
Maybe I should get a new one... dog that is.
A feathered hat? That's doable.
Posted by LibraSidPosted by little_sparrow
Sid
What about getting a pet?
The X took the dog...
No seriously, she left the kids with me but took the dog haha!
Maybe I should get a new one... dog that is.click to expand
Smart girl.
I say yes. Seriously, the first few months of my break-up the ex still had my cat. It has been so heart opening to have her back home where she belongs. Pets are good distraction plus she/he would be great for the kids.
Posted by LibraSid
Now someone needs to invent a remote control that will let me fast forward my life a few months.
Naw, you really can't do that, though although it is tempting.. When me and Mr. L broke up six years ago, I've been finding means and ways to fast forward either a clean clean break forever or get back together forever. I learned the hard way that Chronos (Time) is holding the real remote here. No information, nothing will ever speed up anything meant to happen at a particular moment in time. It took six years and an intense year and a half culminating in a smidgen of hope over here, finally allowing me to see the puzzle pieces tied up nicely together.
If you have information that will allow you to speed up your process/ pain, and this INVOLVES another person, you'd be likened to stalling in a glass house trying to change how things happen but be helpless to, because everyt action is thwarted by something else.. try it.
Te only comfort is that being you're not alone..
Oh and I agree with pets. They offer unconditional love!
That IS hot. He's going to be a lucky boy. 😉
Posted by TasteOfChaosPosted by spica
Oh and I agree with pets. They offer unconditional love!
Not my pet... He shat on my washing machine the other day...
How is that love?
click to expand
Dude, you must *balance* good times with the bad, hey?
😛
I know that I have to "just do it" and i know that it'll be fine afterward. I am just impatient =)
The strength I have gained and the growth I have experienced during the last several months cannot be cheated. This kind of stuff hurts but you do come out better for having made it through. I wouldn't really take a short cut even if I could... but yes, it is tempting.
The strength I have gained and the growth I have experienced during the last several months cannot be cheated. This kind of stuff hurts but you do come out better for having made it through. I wouldn't really take a short cut even if I could... but yes, it is tempting.
Posted by LibraSid
I know that I have to "just do it" and i know that it'll be fine afterward. I am just impatient =)
The strength I have gained and the growth I have experienced during the last several months cannot be cheated. This kind of stuff hurts but you do come out better for having made it through. I wouldn't really take a short cut even if I could... but yes, it is tempting.
People cannot grow in good times. They only grow after a significant amount of hardship and pain. The more of that you go through, the faster you will grow. But if it involves another person, then they must have gone through a singificant amount of hoops to be at a similar level.. but if you speak in astrologixal terms, all these are premeditated.. by Saturn.
Speak for yourself Sid! I would totally short cut to the jolly times if I could. 🙂
Posted by TasteOfChaosPosted by spicaPosted by TasteOfChaosPosted by spica
Oh and I agree with pets. They offer unconditional love!
Not my pet... He shat on my washing machine the other day...
How is that love?
Dude, you must *balance* good times with the bad, hey?
😛
Yea... I guess... He is SUPER naughty tho!
He has a rebellious side!
He is a Scorpio!
Hahaclick to expand
You must've did something to him.. he's taking revenge... 😛
Posted by TasteOfChaosPosted by spicaPosted by TasteOfChaosPosted by spica
Oh and I agree with pets. They offer unconditional love!
Not my pet... He shat on my washing machine the other day...
How is that love?
Dude, you must *balance* good times with the bad, hey?
😛
Yea... I guess... He is SUPER naughty tho!
He has a rebellious side!
He is a Scorpio!
Hahaclick to expand
That may explain his expressions of love involving poop. jk
Posted by MegStings
It's Saturn... that bitch is the cause of your problems...
No Saturn is a good boy!
I thought Saturn liked Libra.
Posted by spicaPosted by MegStings
It's Saturn... that bitch is the cause of your problems...
No Saturn is a good boy!click to expand
If Saturn is good but it the cause of all the current crap... then boy does Saturn owe me!
Posted by little_sparrow
I thought Saturn liked Libra.
Yes Saturn likes Libra.. its making Libras lives stable, if they dont fight against it.
Saturn is conjuncting my mercury and though it can lead to depressive thoughts, I welcome it overall.
Posted by LibraSidPosted by spicaPosted by MegStings
It's Saturn... that bitch is the cause of your problems...
No Saturn is a good boy!
If Saturn is good but it the cause of all the current crap... then boy does Saturn owe me!click to expand
Are you 30 years old? It must be your Saturn return I think.
Saturn return is not fun. I am pretty sure Sid is in his. Mine was brutal.
Posted by spicaPosted by LibraSidPosted by spicaPosted by MegStings
It's Saturn... that bitch is the cause of your problems...
No Saturn is a good boy!
If Saturn is good but it the cause of all the current crap... then boy does Saturn owe me!
Are you 30 years old? It must be your Saturn return I think.click to expand
I will be 30 this year. I have no idea what you mean though. I am relatively new to reading/learning about astrology.
Yeah. I just looked at his chart. His Saturn is in Libra. It has returned.
*pours Sid some whiskey*
*pours Sid some whiskey*
Around 28-30 yrs old, transiting Saturn will be conjuncting your natal Saturn and it is a big time for you. No wonder both of you are having butter.
What Saturn does is it removes things that you have been putting off for too long. What you hide under the rug.. etc. Its supposedly the transition to another level of your life.. adulthood (no, dont believe the 21 yrs old crap 😛).
So Saturn, being a milestone, states that you are supposed to accomplish certain designated things yo are suposed to accomplish, and if you havent, it will turn you world upsde down.
What Saturn does is it removes things that you have been putting off for too long. What you hide under the rug.. etc. Its supposedly the transition to another level of your life.. adulthood (no, dont believe the 21 yrs old crap 😛).
So Saturn, being a milestone, states that you are supposed to accomplish certain designated things yo are suposed to accomplish, and if you havent, it will turn you world upsde down.
Posted by little_sparrow
Yeah. I just looked at his chart. His Saturn is in Libra. It has returned.
*pours Sid some whiskey*
I love me some whiskey... where is this chart you speak of?
Posted by little_sparrow
Yeah. I just looked at his chart. His Saturn is in Libra. It has returned.
*pours Sid some whiskey*
I'm getting my Saturn return in a few years.. preparing for the inevitable.
Saturn returns to where it was when you were born. It is your astrological graduation into adulthood.
http://astrology.about.com/od/advancedastrology/p/SaturnReturn.htm
http://astrology.about.com/od/advancedastrology/p/SaturnReturn.htm
awww ... pours Taste some whiskey too.
Sid, you can get your chart from CafeAstrology. I didn't have your exact date but plugged something in for you. The outer planets like Saturn will be the same. astro.com is also a great site.
Sid, you can get your chart from CafeAstrology. I didn't have your exact date but plugged something in for you. The outer planets like Saturn will be the same. astro.com is also a great site.
The couple quick things I have just read on this all said "The Saturn Return, which lasts about two years, is a time for introspection and self-evaluation." Age 28-30... I did start a lot of self evaluating a few months after my 28th birthday (something I almost never do, I analyze everything except myself). I wouldn't have even remembered this except that in everything that has happened this period of self evaluation came to a close just as everything else blew up around me. Had I not taken a year and done that "soul searching" I don't know that I'd have made it through all this as well as I have.
You are saying that all of this is my "Saturn Returning"?
You are saying that all of this is my "Saturn Returning"?
I don't think it is something you can prepare for. It just hits you out of left field.
Sid,
It is not uncommon for people to divorce at this time. This is when my engagement broke up. So you aren't alone. (Nor you Taste) It just sucks when you go through it.
Sid,
It is not uncommon for people to divorce at this time. This is when my engagement broke up. So you aren't alone. (Nor you Taste) It just sucks when you go through it.
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