Hot? Cold? confused...

I was "seeing" a Libra female who wasn't sure if she was ready for another long term relationship so I told her that I have no expectations but would love to see where this goes. She said I don't want to get into something that isn't going to go anywhere.She would often state how she missed me loved me and what about me it was she was attracted to. She sent me messages to this extent.

Dear @3 $ % ^
I hope this message finds you in good spirit. Despite my desperate attempts to make the best of the night, i found it useless without you in my company. You are far more than a mere attraction. You have captivated my heart and soul and for that I am merciful.
Best,
((*(**^&

She now went cold....

Confused, she always had expectations that my feelings for her would change and that what we had " although she didn't want to label it" wouldn't last forever. After 2 or 3 times of her not sure about a relationship..she finally said that whatever we might have had is no longer and she still has feelings for me. Many little things confuse me though..like her saying I love you and you ground me and your a beauty full person or flying 200 miles to come visit.

I'm just not sure if im the just a friend guy...or if she still has a crush but just went cold cause that's how Libra's play.


Any insight would be appreciated there tones about Libra males and Scorpio females around but i don't see a lot of the Scorpio male Libra female combination.


I'm just trying to understand why things were so hot and amazing passion,love,sex and constant communication and acknowledgment. To minimal contact and the context of the conversation being far less stimulating i.e "quick little answers"

I need help from some Libra females and can go into more details if need be.

Male nov 2 1985---Female sept 29 1988

Thanks

It's just extremely frustrating to have someone say i don't want to get into something that won't lead anywhere then say let's not label what it is we have. Then at one point they say they love you, and a few days later say im not ready for a relationship. Then call you and apologize for acting that way that everything will be fine. To just avoiding the situation in general. I asked her why have you been ignoring me for a week and she says cause im afraid you'll never talk to me again because I don't want a relationship right now. I ground her and my state of cool and calm makes her comfortable.

I need some perspective form a Libra women who may have experience with this.


I know I need to just do my thing and if she comes around again cause she's more sure than before then take it from there but it's hard being a Scorpio and doing this. I was in a 5 1/2 year relationship with a Pisces before this Libra I really like and im trying to avoid this constant "here is my heart, i see you and love and respect you as a person" to later have it thrown back in your face.

Your insights and experiences ease the grip that was once on my heart. It seems easier to put it into perspective when your looking at it in the 3rd person and I thank you for your comments so far.

I'm sure there are a few superficial things that may contribute to the scale tipping more so on one side but it's funny cause these are the things I want to change in myself and although it shouldn't, she gave me the urge/motivation to make/start those changes.

I've never been one to chose an easy road, you always end up with more stories to tell in the end. She is worth my attention and time, I will be myself and see where things lead.

More comments and experiences are welcome on this matter and I apologize if this topic has been exhausted but i'm new here and the relief I feel from some of the insight ive gotten so far helps calm this a times extremely emotional scorpion.

cheers

Posted by wtf?
"You are far more than a mere attraction. You have captivated my heart and soul and for that I am merciful."

u should have never said that..

some women..
they like to pressure men into saying that type of stuff..
then.. it's like she never cared in the 1st place..

Problem with that is she sent that to me... not I to her...as a Scorpio and well just who I am in general I don't say things I don't mean just to impress people. If my intentions are to impress then it's cause in truth I myself may indeed be captivated.

I suspect she is feeling out what it is like if she loses you in order to feel what she feels for you. Kind of a working up to the final break-off. From the sounds of it she is doing this, saying that, coming to visit, what are you doing? If you aren't feeding her, she will look around and start asking why she is here and who else is available. She will take steps away, then come running back.

If you want her, you better pony up and lock this thing down or else she will float away to someone else. She may look back longingly from time to time but she will find a more secure relationship with someone who gives her what she needs back.

We'll I've tried to be casual while messaging her but no answer really... and in this day and age with the social networking people have even less privacy. To continue this hot and cold story and confuse me yet even more, the other day on FB i posted this as my status "Nous devons apprendre ?? recycler nos coeurs dans ce monde jetable".

Which more or less in English translates to "We need to learn to recycle our hearts in this disposable world" yes deep emotional Scorpio at it's extreme. Not expecting any answer or comments from anyone really, the only one to comment on it was yes of course the hot and cold Libra ((or at least it seems that way)). She answered all casual saying things like hey im in blah blah at the moment and I have some awesome stories and pictures. Tell me some stories!

So surprised I figure hey keep it casual and talk about how her trip is going and the crap i've been up to all week. She waited a day after I noticed she had been logging on FB and commenting on her BF's page " cause it pop's up in news feeds", yet she didn't answer... so i assumed cold again...

Now her response to my decent sized e-mail a day later was.... i'm actually really home sick....

Wtf am I supposed to think of that...and now I responded to that and cold yet again...she logged on commented on her bf's page yet has not answered me.


I know Scorpio's can be extremely emotional in these situations which is why im venting here, and i know being extreme is wrong...alot of the things that are mentioned about how these signs don't match i haven't seen "with us" when it comes to incompatibility...look at Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani....anyways yes there are exceptions ...but im sure there are plenty out there. And yes she's hot and cold but it's for more reasons than horoscopes...


I know most of us on her as well as myself shouldn't rack our brains over things like this and just continue with our lives and not let it drains us emotionally but it's easier said then done.

I like this girl more than i did the Picese i dated for 5 years and find the connection to be more satisfying yet i don't know if i should say fuck it or stick it thru to see the results...is it even worth it...


Bah

Vent over

Thanks for listening

huh? She has a BF? Now I am confused.

If she has a bf, chances are she won't leave him for you unless you are a sure thing. As in you tell her straight out that you want to be with her for the rest of your life or whatever. Then she will go into hiding for a few days or so, to think things through.

That occurred to me too. I think we need clarification.

Lol my apologies BF did mean best friend, an especially good friend who mentioned to her a month back before leaving for vacation that...."You better not be in a relationship when were out there" friend...

Arachnida - I understand why are feeling the way you are, but I'd like to say this -

I can feel your intensity through the screen! You are very deeply intense about this matter. If I can feel that in just your few posts on this site, I imagine that your Libra can feel it as well.

Libras can handle intensity, they are intense sometimes themselves - just like that note she wrote you. But, it's not in our nature to stay that way. We are air and we optimistic and bright and cheerful, and while intensity in love can be great, it doesn't consume us constantly.

If she feels that from you, as I honestly have from the handful Scorpio men I've been with (I have a thing for them!), this is the quality that turns her away from you. Libra is playful and Scorpio doesn't play around. Not that Scorpios don't have fun, they just have fun with intensity.

I hope this makes some sense, I can go into futher detail if you need

So is it typical for a libra...or women in general to keep you around as a kickstand? " and by that i mean something to lean on or be there when needed"

This Libra expressed all these emotions towards me and kept me around for awhile...then when here insulting and verbally offensive ex boyfriend of a year or so decided to get back together with her she jumped on it in a second... I can't blame her im just as over dramatic and whould have done the same with my ex if it had only been 3 months...but the whole break up not dating..have sex get back together..break up hate each other saying spitefull things...then break-up and hate each other again things seems unstable and it wont last between them...


5 days before they were officially dating she mentioned she was going to be in town and we should have dinner when she's in town, getting back with an old fling dosent happen over night...and on her way to meet him she got stock because of teh ash cloud in a city and messaged me.We all know the infamous "in a relationship" status on facebook or other social networking sites...but why did she even bother with me...even with our past history..

So now im blocked from facebook cause she dosen't want me know know...I hate being the in case of emergency break glass...and she didnt want to explore her feelings for me even more even if she said they were intangible, and I messgaed the only way to find out is to explore...she responded she still had feelings for her ex and if anything she needed to explore that more..


Sure i should cut my losses but I dont understand why bother..why keep me around...did she even care...why do the things we did and say the things we did to each other if it was nothing..Maybe it wasnt the right time but as a Scorpio it's difficult to not have resentment..and im trying hard not to


Any adivce bad or good wether i wanna hear it or not is accepted..

thanks

Posted by Arachnida
So is it typical for a libra...or women in general to keep you around as a kickstand? " and by that i mean something to lean on or be there when needed"

This Libra expressed all these emotions towards me and kept me around for awhile...then when here insulting and verbally offensive ex boyfriend of a year or so decided to get back together with her she jumped on it in a second... I can't blame her im just as over dramatic and whould have done the same with my ex if it had only been 3 months...but the whole break up not dating..have sex get back together..break up hate each other saying spitefull things...then break-up and hate each other again things seems unstable and it wont last between them...


5 days before they were officially dating she mentioned she was going to be in town and we should have dinner when she's in town, getting back with an old fling dosent happen over night...and on her way to meet him she got stock because of teh ash cloud in a city and messaged me.We all know the infamous "in a relationship" status on facebook or other social networking sites...but why did she even bother with me...even with our past history..

So now im blocked from facebook cause she dosen't want me know know...I hate being the in case of emergency break glass...and she didnt want to explore her feelings for me even more even if she said they were intangible, and I messgaed the only way to find out is to explore...she responded she still had feelings for her ex and if anything she needed to explore that more..


Sure i should cut my losses but I dont understand why bother..why keep me around...did she even care...why do the things we did and say the things we did to each other if it was nothing..Maybe it wasnt the right time but as a Scorpio it's difficult to not have resentment..and im trying hard not to


Any adivce bad or good wether i wanna hear it or not is accepted..

thanks

damn bro, sorry for that and i wish i would have paid attention to this thread earlier before this message so i could offer insight.

I have dated and had flings with libra women, and let me tell you they can be just as difficult as gemini women but i hate to put it like this but it seemed she had plans to be with her ex and had you for security purposes. I know ppl will say that women do this blah blah but im speaking for libras now, both the men and

Posted by Arachnida
So is it typical for a libra...or women in general to keep you around as a kickstand? " and by that i mean something to lean on or be there when needed"

This Libra expressed all these emotions towards me and kept me around for awhile...then when here insulting and verbally offensive ex boyfriend of a year or so decided to get back together with her she jumped on it in a second... I can't blame her im just as over dramatic and whould have done the same with my ex if it had only been 3 months...but the whole break up not dating..have sex get back together..break up hate each other saying spitefull things...then break-up and hate each other again things seems unstable and it wont last between them...


5 days before they were officially dating she mentioned she was going to be in town and we should have dinner when she's in town, getting back with an old fling dosent happen over night...and on her way to meet him she got stock because of teh ash cloud in a city and messaged me.We all know the infamous "in a relationship" status on facebook or other social networking sites...but why did she even bother with me...even with our past history..

So now im blocked from facebook cause she dosen't want me know know...I hate being the in case of emergency break glass...and she didnt want to explore her feelings for me even more even if she said they were intangible, and I messgaed the only way to find out is to explore...she responded she still had feelings for her ex and if anything she needed to explore that more..


Sure i should cut my losses but I dont understand why bother..why keep me around...did she even care...why do the things we did and say the things we did to each other if it was nothing..Maybe it wasnt the right time but as a Scorpio it's difficult to not have resentment..and im trying hard not to


Any adivce bad or good wether i wanna hear it or not is accepted..

thanks

damn bro, sorry for that and i wish i would have paid attention to this thread earlier before this message so i could offer insight.

I have dated and had flings with libra women, and let me tell you they can be just as difficult as gemini women but i hate to put it like this but it seemed she had plans to be with her ex and had you for security purposes. I know ppl will say that women do this blah blah but im speaking for libras now, both the men and

damn bro, sorry for that and i wish i would have paid attention to this thread earlier before this message so i could offer insight.

I have dated and had flings with libra women, and let me tell you they can be just as difficult as gemini women but i hate to put it like this but it seemed she had plans to be with her ex and had you for security purposes. I know ppl will say that women do this blah blah but im speaking for libras now, both the men and women will do that depending on the maturity depends on the level of honesty you may get, she might have got caught in what you were saying and figured in order to keep you around as a FRIEND she would have to respond emotionally to you as in tell you false things rather than just come out and say i just want a friend. Libra men do this too, but for far more devious reasons.



And part of that is we know how we feel now and how we will feel wit hthe aftermath so yea an immature libra will choose the more comfortable one, and hers was to lead you on

She, most likely, had plans to get back with him anyway, libra women have a knack for coming back around so i can guarantee you this is not the last you might see of her, ime.


But its best to let it go, she is only using you as a sefty net for when she cant handle him anymore BUT only wants a friend to vent to and once again she will pull the same thing, if its only just to keep you around as a friend, even though telling you would be the honest thing she might think it could end the friendship, she is more comfortable with the lie and is not considering how you feel

thats my experience bro, i wish you luck cuz libra women are nothing easy on the nerves nor heart

libras are generally very needy and idealistic but don't like to let on. my guess is that she wanted some great romantic gesture on your part, and when you didn't give it to her, she took it as a clue that your interest in her had lost some of its intensity, at which point she pulled back a little bit, which you took as proof that her interest had lost some of its intensity. then she'll act all casual and cool and try to charm you into falling for her again, because she doesn't know you still like her.

it's a funny little game.

libras are so afraid of being hurt, of having their hearts broken. they'll hold back on using relationship status terms if it's too early in some objective sense, not considering their feelings in making their choice. there's a proper way to do everything, you know. jumping in isn't proper. if you want it to work, you've got to take it slow. etc. that's how they see it.

they'll doubt somebody because they doubt themselves. everything changes. you say you like her now, but what if you don't in the future? in the near future? what if you disappear and break her heart?

scorpios are afraid of being hurt too. they'll hold back everything to avoid showing their soft underbelly.

that's why this is such a difficult pairing.

i'd say there's a 75% chance that she feels like it's you who's lost interest in her, that you're the hot/cold one.

i've never dated a scorpio, but i have dated cancers and pisces. and i dated a virgo-libra cusper who had some major scorpio placements and took a very scorpio approach to romance. and that's what happened to me with pretty much all of those guys. only i didn't realize til it was too late. either i'd fucked up and lashed out at them for hurting me or i'd written them off and they showed back up wanting another chance after thinking i'd rejected them.

unsustainable.