How To Deal

Hi Libras... I'm in dire need for some advice.

How do you guys deal with break ups?

I had a really bad fall out with my Libra ex and I regret it now. I told him that we were better off never dealing with one another in the future not even as friends. I was feeling fed up and sad all at the same time. He was just plain fed up which led to us not talking. How do you guys handle a break up if the relationship was long term?

I think it depends on what side of the scales your Libra is on. One side could be forgiving and lets pick up where we left off. The other side is revengeful and wants to return the pain.

Most Libras are forgiving but it's hard to regain their trust (well for me). I would have issues with you saying never wanting to deal and you're always sad and fed up. I don't mind proving my love and doing whatever to make you happy. But to know we left on those terms would leave a bad taste in my mouth. So those doubts of you truly being happy with me would keep replaying in my head, making me unbalanced (Dizzy like Arianlaytay would say) and I don't think a second time around would work.

That's just me .... other Libras may take a different outlook.

Hi JOJOJO and thanks for your advice

He's very non-confrontational and avoids any kind of discussion that leans towards being unhappy. I mean who wants to talk about being unhappy right?! LOL Being a Pisces I am very open and honest and with my rising in Sag, I am super honest and blunt. This gets me in trouble with him. What troubles me is that I could NEVER talk about anything negative in the least bit b/c he just simply doesn't like to. Meanwhile, he would do nothing to better the issue on his end. Just forget about it, rinse and repeat.

You said "But to know we left on those terms would leave a bad taste in my mouth. So those doubts of you truly being happy with me would keep replaying in my head, making me unbalanced (Dizzy like Arianlaytay would say) and I don't think a second time around would work." Well this would be my 3rd time around with him which is why I'm fed up. Every time I've parted with him or vice versa, months later he comes back like "I missed you I love you blah blah blah" and quite frankly I don't think I have enough strength in me to keep going on the merry go round that's his indecisiveness.

He blames my pressuring of us to be a couple again on himself. He says that in his attempt to run away from a broken heart (his ex) he ran towards me as a some sort of shelter and treated me like top priority. He says that was a mistake. After hearing that, I just couldn't see myself being around him. He made our relationship feel fake and now I can't help but to think of myself as used.

see htis is the reason why I don't believe the elements should cross that much. Fire and Air together. Earth and Water together. But aside from that, they shouldn't cross.

You want him to talk about his deep dark secrets. You want to get it all out of him how tortured and alone he is. He wants to have fun and laugh at the world. What you don't understand is that talking about all the depressing stuff in his life doesn't make him happy. In fact, it is really, REALLY unhealthy for him to focus on it.

I feel most in love when I am in love with life, when I am happy, laughing, and delighted by whatever is going on. I feel most in love when I am having fun.

From what I have gathered from water/earth signs is they have a very different version of a jolly good time. They want to be serious and bogged down about the troubles in life. They want to wound bond. Perhaps they feel closest when all the secrets are on the table.

You can't change who you are fundamentally. He can't change who he is fundamentally. You both need very, VERY different things.

I am thinking of my leo-ex who I lived with and dated through most of my twenties. We had SUCH a good time together! I always felt balanced, safe, secure, and happy. A few years after we broke up, he went on to date my Virgo friend with my absolute delight and blessing. She is tortured. (Well, they both are to be honest.) She is so angry and critical and upset because he won't take anything serious. The very same traits that made me feel amazing his lightheartedness, his humour, his warmth make her crazy. They refuse to break-up with each other but at heart, they aren't happy.

When I think of my time with my ex-virgo whom I almost married, I see the same pattern. He was very rigid, serious, and practical. By the end of it, I almost had a breakdown because he took EVERYTHING so serious and wanted to hang out in the seriousness and heaviness of life. I couldn't breath. I couldn't be me. I felt so insecure and constantly judged and like I was constantly doing something wrong. I felt so out of sorts and at odds it has taken me YEARS and YEARS to get over it.

I contrast it back to my Aries lover and he is all light-hearted, generous, and warm. Again, the fun we have together makes me feel safe, secure and loved.

Love is suppose to be easy. Three times and it hasn't worked out? It isn't going to work out again.

If I were you, i would find an Earth or Water sign. The libra will never understand your moods, you will never understand his needs. You will bog each other down.

Go where it is easy. You'll thank me for it when you find it.

😉

"He blames my pressuring of us to be a couple again on himself"

Ms Pisces - Libras are known to try and please everyone. Yepper your pressuring him made him feel obgligated to reconnect even though he wasn't ready. Bad bad girl, this is why women think Libra men are so indecisive. Whenever a libra does something they really don't want to do, usually no one is happy. But Libras will try and try. IMO a pressuring woman is a male libras kryptonite.

QUESTION: If he blamed YOU, would you accept it or argue?

* He says that in his attempt to run away from a broken heart (his ex) he ran towards me as a some sort of shelter and treated me like top priority. He says that was a mistake.

He basically is saying that this was a rebound relationship and he is sorry he hurt you. Doesn't mean it was fake. It just means it was a rebound and very real at the time, though not long lasting.

Not every relationship that comes your way is meant to be forever. Even the good one and thank GOD, especially not the bad ones.

Well I hate rejection of any kind and break-ups that I didnt want really takes its toll on me. I try to win them back in every way I can thing of, and if that doesn't work then I move on. With me out of sigh out of mind plays a big part and helps me ALOT.

Got me! I don't do the break-up/ make-up, break-up/ make-up, break-up/ make-up to well myself. The times I have returned it just didn't work, didn't matter if it was a water ballon sign, an eat dirt earth sign, a hot biotch fire sign (My Aries 😛), or a cool ass air sign ....lol

Libra Zodiac Sign in Horoscopes: Meaning, Qualities ...The desire for relationship is strong, but like all air signs Libra has a problem with the emotional complexities therein.

* Well I hate rejection of any kind and break-ups that I didnt want really takes its toll on me.

Yeah. It really depends for me and how invested I was to begin with.

I usually do get to a point where I am done with a person and they are thrown out of my castle. I may forgive them and love them and continue to wish them well, being truly delighted for their joys, but they will never be on the inside again.

I dont think this was a rebound relationship b/c why else would you try to come back 3 times?

As far as earth/water signs being serious and bogging down people, I have to really disagree. No one is only their sun sign. I have my major planets in air signs so why doesn't THAT count? Him and I ALWAYS had fun. But not EVERYTHING in a relationship is fun all the time. There are responsibilities that you have to one another like communication and consideration. When you can't even talk to your partner about feeling bad about anything, because they only want to talk about fun things all the time, whats the point of understanding? It all goes out the window. Basically I had never had a problem being there for him as a friend first and as a partner last. But when you come back to me 3 times asking to stay with you, why can't i ask that you start taking responsibility in the relationship? And I'm not asking for any materalistic object or ideas. I'm asking for your 1/2 of the connection we have.


Ms Pisces - Libras are known to try and please everyone. Yepper your pressuring him made him feel obgligated to reconnect even though he wasn't ready. Bad bad girl, this is why women think Libra men are so indecisive. Whenever a libra does something they really don't want to do, usually no one is happy. But Libras will try and try. IMO a pressuring woman is a male libras kryptonite.

QUESTION: If he blamed YOU, would you accept it or argue?

I would leave. Because I'm not the one who kept coming back. I let him go. And soon as I believed we were no more BOOM there he was! Why is that part not important here? I don't I was wrong in pressuring b/c he NEVER said he wasnt ready until I was GONE. I feel like in order to be with these men, you just have to observe and never say anything b/c its the wrong move no matter what LOL

If I were you, i would find an Earth or Water sign. The libra will never understand your moods, you will never understand his needs. You will bog each other down.

Go where it is easy. You'll thank me for it when you find it.

My moods vs his needs? LOL I believe it is the opposite, his moods vs my needs.

OooooooKayyyyy..... I find that Pisces usually don't take the blame for anything and they can be selfish to get what they want.

Since you asked Libras here, I must admit most of the replies are women so maybe it's something we're missing.

I wanted to look at what you both did to come to this, and you just want to look at what only he did. This is not a Balanced convo ....lol. sorry that's just the way we are.

Where in the hell is Upheavel, Lucky Libra and thelibran when I need them.

You say you're not negative but you sure are combative, not good for Libras..

? I dont think this was a rebound relationship b/c why else would you try to come back 3 times?

*sigh*

He TOLD you it was a rebound relationship. Why will you not listen to him?

? When you can't even talk to your partner about feeling bad about anything, because they only want to talk about fun things all the time, whats the point of understanding?

This doesn't really make sense to me. See in my relationships I can talk about feeling bad. The conversation usually last five minutes and they cheer me up and I am ready to face the world again.

If he is like this, you guys aren't compatible. And nothing you do, will change that.

Love isn't ever enough.

I actually think sun sign IS huge in determining the compatibility of people. That being said I don't have a very mixed chart and tend to attract people whom have very similar charts. (i.e. my roomie has 5 planets of virgo, my bf has 3 planets of Aries, I dated a guy who has 7 planets of Sag.) Most of my friends tend to be heavy in one or two signs.

Ok you guys you have ALL given me soooo much to ponder. I'm sorry if I sound negative but this man has really hurt me in so many ways. I think he keeps coming back to see if we can turn to a new page. The hardest thing to do is turn away from those we love. I too am guilty and have fault in our breakdown but I think that alot of the fault came from confusion in what he was saying vs what he was doing. It takes a really strong patient woman to deal with him. I had it and I lost it. I learned alot though so for that I am thankful.

Actions do speak louder than words... He used to do so much for me in the beginnig. Things that I NEVER asked him to do. He did it on his own so when he stopped I ddint know what to think and more than that b/c of his happy-go-lucky ways he never really wanted to talk to me about it. He's a very personal dude. It just drove me madder when we'd break up and then he come back and expected me to still accept that. We had been toghether for 3 years. That's 1 break up a year LOL

Now I can agree with you on that honeychild....lol. Libra men will spoil in the beginning and just get lazy. Say things and promise things but no follow through. I'm a little guilty of that myself.

LOL JOJOJO I wonder if his moon in Gemini got bored LOL I try not to be routine b/c I hate it myself. Maybe he just wasnt sure about me in the end. I want to be friends with him but I dont know how :/

For me, friendship with such a guy only cuts deeper wounds . I would totally hate to put myself in the same situation 2/3yrs down the line. i'm pretty hard on myself like that."

Yea I know exactly what you mean! Im afraid that if I stay platonic he'll like that I'm not available and start the chase again!

PiecesofP: I am sorry but the focus here should be in getting yourself together not being his friend..Let him go thats just another way to hold on to him..Until you come to grips as to what is what your gonna be stuck in this place..

That is soooo hard right now LOL I have to be honest! But its what I think I have to do. Thanks!!

Same situation as me Pieces of Pisces..Rebound relationship, where he lied about the length of time he was separated from his wife..Never would have wnet there had I known..And the same as you every time I leave him alone, he comes back..

Now it's been well over a year of the games, I finally freaked out, and he finally apologized..We are now friends..The best thing to do in this situation is detach and have no expectations..That's where I am now..He still tries to get me emotional, last time I saw him he was teasing me about how I am still in to him, I said I'm still attracted to you and I will be your friend, but you will never have my heart again..That shut him up...

Detach emotionally, like they do!!

RIGHT ON Light Hearted Leo!!!! LOL Detachment is the key! I just hope my Aqua venus and Gemini Moon can help me out LOL Thanks for the advice, your situation taught me alot about whats going on with my ex and I. I just dont think he was playing me b/c hes been really burned by his ex before me. I just think I drained him emotionally and that turned him off.

I feel the opposite..I feel emotionally drained and it turned me off..I started doubting whether I even wanted to be with him...

I know every one says cut the ties but I'm glad I didn't because I think I never would have got proper closure because I fell for him so fast..By going through all we went through I know had a chance to know him more and I can see more clearly his qualities..In the beginning I just thought he was scared because he had been hurt (his wife cheated on him for two years)now by asking him questions and being friends with him, I know that he had a detachment problem in his marriage..Last time I saw him i said most women don't typically cheat because of sex they cheat because they are missing something emotionally..He then told me that she was mean to him when she was pregnant and he detached and the marriage fell apart..My guess is that he has had this problem prior to the marriage..

Now I know that this is not a case of bad timing which I truly had myself convinced, but more a case of not being compatible in a relationship...

I feel the opposite..I feel emotionally drained and it turned me off..I started doubting whether I even wanted to be with him...

WOW... I think you just made me realize this for myself LOL I was in so much doubt but I kept trying to shake it off. I was in denial...
I can't imagine how much more insight you have now being his friend. Libras rather have the friend in the lover than the lover alone. Maybe now you'll continue to learn him even more. I wish I could be my ex's friend right away but I need distance from him right now.

He then told me that she was mean to him when she was pregnant and he detached and the marriage fell apart..My guess is that he has had this problem prior to the marriage..

He probably did. He sounds like he runs away when things involve feelings and emotions, *sigh* its like Little Sparrow said

You want him to talk about his deep dark secrets. You want to get it all out of him how tortured and alone he is. He wants to have fun and laugh at the world. What you don't understand is that talking about all the depressing stuff in his life doesn't make him happy. In fact, it is really, REALLY unhealthy for him to focus on it.

the only difference I wasn't trying to get anything out, he was already expressing himself to me when I met him. He just shut down when I asked why.

not all scorps want to brood. i sure don't. i tend to cut people out who are too weighty and who enjoy dwelling in their misery. it suffocates me... maybe bc i have too many air signs in my chart and a cusper. i don't put too much weight on sun signs. i don't get along with cancers, have had only one friendship with a piscean male (just a friendship) and i don't make friends with other scorps.