This Libra is Having Difficulty

This topic was created in the Libra forum by a muse a libra on Sunday, November 23, 2008 and has 138 replies.

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Profile picture of a muse a libra
@a muse a libra
18 Years500+ Posts

I'm in a new relationship with a wonderful scorp man. Things are happening fast though! It's been about 3 weeks and we're already bf/gf and there are expectations. I really like this guy, I've been single for 3 years and I'm having a REALLY hard time adjusting to this...like I want him to come over and visit but I want him to leave. I end up getting cranky and it's not a good thing. He can sense my frustration, so we've had good open conversations about how I'm feeling.

Is this what they call a damaged libra?? Am I screwed? I finally got a good thing and am trying to sabotage it...any libras ever feel this way?

Profile picture of a muse a libra
@a muse a libra
18 Years500+ Posts

u will be screwed and damaged in a few years. Then you will know"

ah! what do you mean..that is so cryptic!

and yes, LeoKitten, I have noticed that right before holidays is a terrible time to try to begin a new relationship. It always ends after the holidays are over, in my experience. But you're right, I don't really think this situation is quite like that, it's more sincere. I really do get along with this guy, it's just moving too fast, too much commitment, too soon.

Just last night I had an intense dream about a man who lives far away from me who I still have feelings for...argh! I'm going crazy...I am going to have to pull away and back off, but I know it's going to hurt the scorps feelings, which SUCKS! At least he will be away visiting his family next week...it won't seem so obvious that I need the space

Profile picture of little_sparrow
@little_sparrow
20 Years5,000+ Posts

Muse

Whenever I have felt the way you are describing, the relationship has never worked out because it (which I didn't realize at the time) me and whomever were just not compatible.

I have found Scorp men very difficult to deal with in romantic relationships because they have a tendency to smother and not let up. I have always found this particular combination a bit difficult because of underlying power/control issues.

Can you identify how or why you are feeling the need to breathe? Can you identify what part of yourself might be feeling pushed down? If you can figure this out, you might be in a better position to save the relationship.

Best of luck!

Profile picture of JOJOJO
@JOJOJO
18 Years500+ Posts

SCORPS!!!!! run and hide, what are you thinking?!?!?!?!? You're already needing space and advice, let it go. Something rushed is a bunch of fuss, next your being the indecisive libra because you've started something and now not finishing it on their terms. Other than he's going away next week, do you think you will be ready for his return with excitement. Will you contact him while he's gone to express your uneasiness about the fast pace. They are controlling so he may not take it the right way. Remember scorps are only cool headed in bed because once those bastards stand on their feet. IT'S OVA!!!!! peace and chicken

Profile picture of houstonpeach74
@houstonpeach74
20 Years5,000+ Posts

my libra and i have been together for 2 years and he told me yesterday he was going to buy me a set of pots and pans for Christmas! Hmmm, Libras can be clueless even when you drop clues!

Gosh, I sure hope he's joking...

Profile picture of eagwstinggirl
@eagwstinggirl
17 YearsScorpio

i don't like male scorps. they are control freaks and i have yet to meet an evolved one. express your uneasiness and he might want to get even by looking for greener pastures. if you do make up your mind and decide you want to be with him, he might not be there anymore when you do. i am not even with this guy you mentioned above and i am feeling suffocated by him. LOL

i am a libra/scorp cusper female and if someone needs space i will give it to them until they drown in it. by the time they reappear, i've moved on. i like intensity and then i don't. breathing room is a must. i need time alone to reflect on what i am getting into and analyze it all till ad nauseum.

Profile picture of a muse a libra
@a muse a libra
18 Years500+ Posts

Sparrow: I fear you are right about this. I don't know exactly what I feel is being smothered or "pushed down." It is an overall sense...I am excited to see him, and then when he is there for a period of time, I feel as though the responsibility to be his gf is greater than I can handle. I honestly feel like my space, both personal and physcial (my home...) is being invaded. He obviously cares a lot for me, and is smart and sweet, but I am just not ready for such a heady relationship, the lightness and the fun have worn away already... 😢

JOJOJO: do you think you will be ready for his return with excitement."

I don't think I will...but I don't want to end things. Part of me fears that this is an inner battle, a fear I have in myself to actually commit to a guy who is truly worth a commitment. That is a lot of libra-speak, but I am afraid if I end things I will regret it. I do recognize though, if the excitement to see him doesn't return with him, there will be no making things work...it's only been 3 weeks.

Profile picture of a muse a libra
@a muse a libra
18 Years500+ Posts

Scorp and Libra are naturally drawn to each other...Sparrow is right, the combination is hard because of the power issue. Scorp men don't seem like control freaks, but when they are not in control, they do "freak" out. Unfortately I fear that his freaking out will be taken on such a personal level, as we really do have a deep sincere connection...that he will go into a depression (which he has hinted at, that he is afraid to lose me...which I do understand to be a controlling statement in of itself. Arg.)

Profile picture of little_sparrow
@little_sparrow
20 Years5,000+ Posts

? the lightness and the fun have worn away already...

ewww yuck.

I have learned I do not do well in serious heavy relationships. I always fear I have done something wrong and end up on my tippy-toeing around and feeling more and more uneasy, anxious, and sad.

* Part of me fears that this is an inner battle, a fear I have in myself to actually commit to a guy who is truly worth a commitment.

I think this is part of being a libra lady. We blame ourselves if we can't become what our partner needs/wants.

See how you feel after he gets back. If you still feel uneasy listen to your intuition and let this one go.

Profile picture of a muse a libra
@a muse a libra
18 Years500+ Posts

Thank you mss sparrow. I do appreciate it...

On another note, the dream I had, about the long-distance Leo: I was visiting him, his whole family was there, he took me to his house and I met all his brothers. The house was falling apart, giant holes in the floor and you could see the sky through them.

It was disturbing, though fun, to see my Leo in that situation. I emailed him this morning and asked him if everything was okay. It's not: his best friend died last night. He said "I am falling apart and coming back together, but not as fast as I am falling apart." the dream is very eerie to me...and I am very sad for him.

Profile picture of firegirl
@firegirl
19 Years

"Unfortately I fear that his freaking out will be taken on such a personal level, as we really do have a deep sincere connection"
- IME males Scorps take EVERYTHING personally.. their approach to life is emotional first which can be difficult to deal with within a relationship if you are not wired the same way
- I admire their passion and tenacity but always felt overwhelmed by them.. personal space is something that is foreign to them unless their in a dark mood and viewed as evidence that you don't love them.. even early on.

Profile picture of eagwstinggirl
@eagwstinggirl
17 YearsScorpio

analyze it to death. this will take the joy out of it. then after you lose him or he fks you over in the usual quiet scorp fashion... you can come back here and whine about it. then this scorp male can be "the love of your life" who you let slip through your fingers when you meet someone else and start over-analyzing the new guy.

Profile picture of JOJOJO
@JOJOJO
18 Years500+ Posts

A fear inside of you will reflect a fear in others. Make sure that YOU are ready for a relationship period, doesn't matter what the horoscope is. You can back UP without backing OUT, so just slow down the pace. The problem with rushing is you don't get to see the things you may not like and how you will handle them. Does he pick his nose, often? Is he clean or cluttered? My pet peeve, gritting the teeth while sleeping? What irritates him, has he ever hit a girlfriend? Does he drink alone? Does he cook? Does he respect his Mother—? Does he likes pets? it goes on and on. Once I'm turned off, I turn away.

I have an interest in a Sag right now, but her dog stinks, the cutest little toy poodle and it's very well groom but the smell is starting to get to me. She came over yesterday without the dog and her coat smelled like the dog. I'm sooooooo over her. I would like to date her not the dog. I had a cocker spaniel once but I didn't notice a smell like that, maybe I got use to it. YUCK!!!! So when she sat on my bed, I think my face turned green. Maybe you are not as picky but slowing down is a good thang.

Profile picture of JOJOJO
@JOJOJO
18 Years500+ Posts

okay DXP is crazy sensitive... My dog was C O C K E R, not a dang chickener... LMAO..

No, people are sensitive about their pets and shes into her dog, she makes clothes for her. I'm not into hurting people and it's just the beginning stages so she will be okay. We haven't even kissed .... and I don't think I will ever want to.

Profile picture of little_sparrow
@little_sparrow
20 Years5,000+ Posts

wow Muse! CraZY dream!

What is really weird to me is I spent the whole night dreaming about my ex-leo lover, who I haven't seen in a very long time. I kept waking up and falling asleep where I left off in the dream. We were meeting at an airport.

Weird that we were both dreaming about leo-exs last night.

Profile picture of hothouselilies
@hothouselilies
17 Years500+ Posts

i think the guy is wise just to leave things as they are because if i know libra, she

will take the dog over the guy! doesnt matter how long theyd be together. id take my dog

over any guy and i dont care if ive known him five years!

Profile picture of little_sparrow
@little_sparrow
20 Years5,000+ Posts

* but her dog stinks,

Oh jojojo! I HATE smelly dogs. HATE them. I also really hate ill behaved dogs. I totally get why you would cut this one loose. If she picked you over her dog, you would have to dump her for that too. Your in a no-win on that one.

Profile picture of a muse a libra
@a muse a libra
18 Years500+ Posts

"don't think to much , just go with it and be honest towards him
you found affection again , enjoy.."

I am trying to do just that. This is not typical behavior to me...it is a little red flag waving in the wind that I feel this way so soon. I was so excited by him in the beginning, only in the past few days have I been feeling this way, and it is a very powerful emotion. Over analyzing is one thing, but paying attention to intuition is another...I am afraid merely of which instict this is and where it comes from, I am desperately hoping it is not an internal fleeing mechanism.

Profile picture of a muse a libra
@a muse a libra
18 Years500+ Posts

JOJOJO: you're right, I can back up this thing. He seems to know that's what I need, I hope it goes smoothly...

Stinky dogs are the WORST! And her jacket! You are Libra and anything that is vulgar or off-putting is almost always an automatic disqualifier. I would be with you on that, I'd have to end it. Smell is extremely important.

As far has having a conversation with her about it...how does that go? "Hey, you smell like your smelly dog! Can you wash your dog and your clothes please?" ummm...not a very good topic to bring up so early on.

Profile picture of hothouselilies
@hothouselilies
17 Years500+ Posts

a dog is suppose to smell ITS A DOG! THEY DONT BELONG IN SALONS LIKE PEOPLE! PEOPLE DONT BELONG THERE EITHER!

a dog smells and a dog has fleas to remind them that he is a dog!

what reminds you people that you are humanbeings? thats what i want to know!

because you sure come off phony to me.

Profile picture of a muse a libra
@a muse a libra
18 Years500+ Posts

weird!!! Ex-leos...nothing ever seems to really end with them. I have 2 myself, the first is married now but before he was married he came to visit me and we picked up right where we left off. I love the leos, I want one for myself 🙂

!!See...I have a scorp and here I am wanting leos!! Yikes...

Profile picture of a muse a libra
@a muse a libra
18 Years500+ Posts

Some dogs smell very bad. Most dogs like to bathed and groomed. I have 2 large breed dogs (mutts) and they smell like dogs but when they get ripe, I wash em. Period, because stinky dogs are very obtrusive.

Libra's aren't phony. They are very sensitive to smell. Like I said, anything vulgar is a turn-off to a Libra, smell being an extremely important factor. What is phony about that?

Profile picture of eagwstinggirl
@eagwstinggirl
17 YearsScorpio

maybe the dog's anal sacs are impacted. that sometimes gives dogs that oily dead fish stench. easily taken care of by draining them. dog owners here will know what i am talking about.

Profile picture of little_sparrow
@little_sparrow
20 Years5,000+ Posts

I don't like dogs. I find most of them smelly and ill behaved. My parents had a dog with a glandular problem. Even when you bathed him he stunk. He also jumped up all the time. I hate that.

My mom's new dog is much better. She is quiet and gentle and doesn't stink. But in truth, I MUCH, MUCH prefer cats.

I don't need you to validate my preference in pets. You should be secure enough that if someone doesn't like dogs, you can deal with it gracefully. Seriously.

Profile picture of JOJOJO
@JOJOJO
18 Years500+ Posts

Muse .... LMAO...

I'm the Libra Hothouse and I would take my dog over someone but she's Sag and they stink.

It's early enough to not have that convo Muse.... you're right ..... too funny!!! 😉

Profile picture of little_sparrow
@little_sparrow
20 Years5,000+ Posts

Muse

Don't start me on leos. lol! Leo is probably my favorite sign.

Now that you mention it though, nothing ever does seem to finish with them. The connections seem to linger years after the relationship has died. I have often wondered why that is.

I suspect that Leo man/Libra woman is one of the absolute best combinations for libra ladies.

Profile picture of little_sparrow
@little_sparrow
20 Years5,000+ Posts

And what if you did have that conversation and she chooses YOU over the dog? How would you ever respect her? Plus you would feel manipulated to stay in the relationship EVEN IF it doesn't work out, because she gave up her dog for you. She would always have weird expectations and probable resentment that you never accepted the dog and she had to give it up.

Better to cut your loses and find a partner whose package you can accept. (hee)

Profile picture of little_sparrow
@little_sparrow
20 Years5,000+ Posts

And I don't get how any of this is the least bit phoney. If we were sitting around tight lipped seathing in resentment about her smelly dog instead of looking at the situation and finding the happier route for all (including the dog) involved, I could get the phoney comment.

Sometimes I think we are the only people who think around here. (Cooks is included in the we thinkers. 🙂)

Profile picture of a muse a libra
@a muse a libra
18 Years500+ Posts

Leo man/Libra woman is so lighthearted and funny and exciting and it just seems like the sun is always shining when the two are together! I used to think it was aqua man/ libra woman, but I'm with you on the Leos. It is like a big magical adventure together, they compliment each other very well.

Profile picture of little_sparrow
@little_sparrow
20 Years5,000+ Posts

* I could get the phoney comment.

Sorry meant to include, but we're not. We are looking at the situation and seeing it for what it is. It is what it is. Everyone else is sitting around personalizing the situation and looking at it through an emotional filter of "I don't want my libra to dump me because of my smelly dog!" instead of realizing sometimes a smelly dog is a deal breaker and that is okay too.

Profile picture of a muse a libra
@a muse a libra
18 Years500+ Posts

Smelly dog...lol. Funny topic!

JOJOJO, you're not phoney. You just know what you like and don't. Everybody has something that is a no-go...smelly people, sorry to say, are in that category for me, too.

I'm too sensitive to it. I probably couldn't even be with someone who liked to burn all the bright lights in the room as I prefer soft lighting. I wouldn't like somebody who turned the volume on the TV up too high because I am senstive to loud noises. I wouldn't like somebody who slept between scratchy sheets and a hard mattress. There are all sorts of seemingly superficial things that can really irritate a person, why do you have to "talk it out" with somebody. The dog smells! She smells like the dog! No-GO!

Profile picture of hothouselilies
@hothouselilies
17 Years500+ Posts

and i wouldnt care what you liked or didnt like! i wouldnt get rid of my dog over anyone, not even a smelly one.

dogs are not suppose take baths...if they were.....God would have equipped them for that.
the more you bath a dog, the more you mess them up and the more you strip them of their
natural oils and the more skin disease problems you create. they have their own perfect PH balance and shouldnt be excessively groomed. dogs also hate it. there isnt a dog on
the planet that enjoys that! you dont know what you are talking about.

and why when you talk about dogs do you keep injecting leos?
the only thing i can assume is that they too stink ! yes and i find them boring too and
mentally ill equipped. the women are easily mislead and can be fooled by someone who gives them alot of compliments. they are rather stupid. the women are. why the sucking up
to leos? trying to get in good before the
holiday? yes, they can lavish themselves rather easily. probably can throw a pretty good party.

Profile picture of little_sparrow
@little_sparrow
20 Years5,000+ Posts

? i wouldnt get rid of my dog over anyone, not even a smelly one.

That is what we are saying. Dump the girl so she can keep her dog and be happy. Jesus. This site is so full of retards who can't read.

Profile picture of little_sparrow
@little_sparrow
20 Years5,000+ Posts

* dogs also hate it. there isnt a dog on
the planet that enjoys that! you dont know what you are talking about.

Again this is what we are saying. I said the happiest solution for everyone dog included is if jojojo dumps the girl. Seriously.

You're a water sign aren't you?

Profile picture of hothouselilies
@hothouselilies
17 Years500+ Posts

and i dont think people realize how disgusting they are. if someone ever asked me
i think it would be too hard to tell them the truth. i think people are much more disgusting than animals and it has to do with what goes into them that makes what comes out
so foul!
yes!

Profile picture of JOJOJO
@JOJOJO
18 Years500+ Posts

Hothouse, I almost feel your a dog using your masters computer while he's at work. I didn't say all dogs smells but this one does.

If she gave up the dog for me it wouldn't work because she would then look for things or something for me to give up for her. It would be a never ending what are you going to sacrifice for me relationship, I'm bailing ship. No I'll keep the ship and all stank dogs and stank hoes overboard .... lol...

Profile picture of hothouselilies
@hothouselilies
17 Years500+ Posts

no, whos the retard you confused lesbian? how about she keeps the dog outside and
washes her clothes more often?

you cant even decide if you want to be a woman or a man so give it a rest.
go take care of your own stinking, lying cheating dog AKA hubby or lesbian lover!

Profile picture of hothouselilies
@hothouselilies
17 Years500+ Posts

and the ship is your wife! yes, every old drunken loser needs a ship, in your case a

tanker, to keep him afloat. why didnt you just say that. trying to use the girls dog

for a reason to break up with her. why didnt you just say you are a loser and you cant

make it on your own. that the wife is the one responsbile for your life! i knew i would

get to the bottom of it. and you have the nerve to say a dog stinks! HAH! like a rose

compared to you!!

Profile picture of JOJOJO
@JOJOJO
18 Years500+ Posts

The ship is my house Biocth ..... And it smells wonderfully .... you are crazy dude... go take your meds or better yet here's a doggy treat...

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