Lady_K
@Lady_K
15 YearsGemini
Comments: 0 · Posts: 24 · Topics: 3
My Libra Lover said to me.....
Posted by coorkie
Girl, he knows you're not on the pill?
Oh he knows, He also told me that he hasnt come inside anyone since his ex duped him, and she had his baby to try and keep him, which didnt work. That was 10 years ago!
He is 41 in a few months, his time of "sowing his seeds" is well and truly over.
SMH this is bound to end up in a pregnancy disaster.....Another child with no father in the world
41 is not the end of sowing seeds, he's pushing into mid-life crisis which means he's going to sow more seeds with you and with other women, beware, you are treading on an illusion that this man will be there for you and your child if it so happens you get pregnant. This is one of the biggest mistakes in thinking most women have fell for at some point in time....Good luck and please get some contraception until he has "THE TALK" with you, not the talk in morris code were you have to come to a forum and ask us what we think...You need a definitive answer from this man that you are going to be his only one and he wants to have babies and possibly get married, this can't be a presumption, this has to be a definite yes your the one for me, yes I want you to have my babies and yes I see you in my future, married/living together/cohabitating together.
Posted by tiki33
41 is not the end of sowing seeds, he's pushing into mid-life crisis which means he's going to sow more seeds with you and with other women, beware, you are treading on an illusion that this man will be there for you and your child if it so happens you get pregnant. This is one of the biggest mistakes in thinking most women have fell for at some point in time....Good luck and please get some contraception until he has "THE TALK" with you, not the talk in morris code were you have to come to a forum and ask us what we think...You need a definitive answer from this man that you are going to be his only one and he wants to have babies and possibly get married, this can't be a presumption, this has to be a definite yes your the one for me, yes I want you to have my babies and yes I see you in my future, married/living together/cohabitating together.
You're totally right!
I love constructive criticism.
Just might have to have "THE TALK" with him.
IMO you shouldn't have to go to him to have "THE TALK" everything goes downhill when women want to talk a man about something he should be NATURALLY forthcoming about were you stand in his life...he can do YOU like he did his EX and walk out and your the one left with a baby, feeding the baby, waking up at 3am in the morning and/or sleep deprived, your the one that is going to do the majority of the work with or without him....If you want a baby and could care less about the outcome of keeping the father around well I don't really see a problem but if your under the guise/assumption that he's going to stick around think again, I'm sure his EX thought the same exact thing before she was an ex....If he bailed on the first baby mama he will bail on you too.
My suggestion is get some condoms and get on some kind of contraception, you are responsible for protecting your body at all times, it's your body and you have the final say in how you should be treated emotionally, physically, mentally. The talk should come from him, he should be the one doing everything in his power to prove he's even worth having a baby with, as it stands he already has one child in the world that isn't getting his full attention on a daily basis, he's most likely a part-time dad and hopefully he's paying child support...Do you really want to have a baby by a man that does things ass backwards? There is no guarantee he will not walk away, I can see if he proposed, a wedding date is set and you recently tied the knot and now it's baby making time...Not that I'm promoting marriage but if marriage is something you want why not wait for that first...Again it's all about what you want, if you don't foresee marriage in your future and you don't really know if your going to sustain a great relationship but your willing to take a risk and your prepared to take a hit if you lose the man but decide to have a baby then your really ahead of the game but if you have this la la land concept that he's going to stick around and take care of you and your child that's a recipe for disappointment and heartache.
My suggestion is get some condoms and get on some kind of contraception, you are responsible for protecting your body at all times, it's your body and you have the final say in how you should be treated emotionally, physically, mentally. The talk should come from him, he should be the one doing everything in his power to prove he's even worth having a baby with, as it stands he already has one child in the world that isn't getting his full attention on a daily basis, he's most likely a part-time dad and hopefully he's paying child support...Do you really want to have a baby by a man that does things ass backwards? There is no guarantee he will not walk away, I can see if he proposed, a wedding date is set and you recently tied the knot and now it's baby making time...Not that I'm promoting marriage but if marriage is something you want why not wait for that first...Again it's all about what you want, if you don't foresee marriage in your future and you don't really know if your going to sustain a great relationship but your willing to take a risk and your prepared to take a hit if you lose the man but decide to have a baby then your really ahead of the game but if you have this la la land concept that he's going to stick around and take care of you and your child that's a recipe for disappointment and heartache.
Figure out what you want but you have to do this with a level head, not this I love him so much I want to stay with him forever kind of attitude, that's not realistic...The reality is men leave pregnant women and the women end up alone with a baby...So make sure you want a baby by this man before having sex again w/o contraception. Your 31 your body is ready to nest and have babies and unfortunately you won't be able to think clearly a lot of the times due to hormone nesting instincts which can and will fog your brain.
Just a word of warning...If you decide to INITIATE "THE TALK" you will see a dramatic change/decline in your relationship because suddenly the talk makes everything "REAL" he will then have to "THINK" about you in another way, a permanent way and that usually cools a man down, he may even seem distant...It's better to let him initiate the talk b/c he's more prepared to deal with the issues that come up, he's ready for that talk but when a man isn't ready for "THE TALK" it's like a deer in headlights, he will seem like he's present but he's not, he's trying to figure out what you want, what he wants etc so he becomes cold...I'm just warning you so you won't be so shocked at the dramatic change in his behavior, he may even stop having sex with you as a fear of getting you pregnant...So be sure you want to initiate this talk and your prepared for the change that MAY occur. The talk could have a very positive effect on your relationship or a very bad effect on your relationship.
Just a word of warning...If you decide to INITIATE "THE TALK" you will see a dramatic change/decline in your relationship because suddenly the talk makes everything "REAL" he will then have to "THINK" about you in another way, a permanent way and that usually cools a man down, he may even seem distant...It's better to let him initiate the talk b/c he's more prepared to deal with the issues that come up, he's ready for that talk but when a man isn't ready for "THE TALK" it's like a deer in headlights, he will seem like he's present but he's not, he's trying to figure out what you want, what he wants etc so he becomes cold...I'm just warning you so you won't be so shocked at the dramatic change in his behavior, he may even stop having sex with you as a fear of getting you pregnant...So be sure you want to initiate this talk and your prepared for the change that MAY occur. The talk could have a very positive effect on your relationship or a very bad effect on your relationship.
😢
I would find out if he meant you or someone else. If he was really worried about scaring you off, I think he would have avoided the whole debacle. However, don't go making babies without a ring lady!
I would find out if he meant you or someone else. If he was really worried about scaring you off, I think he would have avoided the whole debacle. However, don't go making babies without a ring lady!
Luckily for me he is a millionaire, he has a $ 2 million dollar home and a $ 100,000 car, he isnt hard done with money, the story with his ex is nothing as you have explained it and far from what you said is the truth, but you know what, if things do change with us, if I have the so called talk with him, it really doesnt bother me, as I dont want to be with someone who doesnt want to be with me, he also has the "nesting instinct" as you call it so I know I am not alone in this feeling. Marriage isnt so important with me, TRUST is.
privacy should be too
Oh so "THE MONEY" It't bound to make a woman believe the unreal....Good luck lady K, I definitely see you have your head in the clouds with this one, your bound to end up a single parent like his EX....
Hmm... It's a difficult call, especially since I'm not you, Lady K, and I wasn't present to decipher the entire situation.
I would however, take a step back and remove him from the picture right now. Think about what you want, and what you feel:
-would you want to have A baby right now? (not necessarily his, but the idea of being pregnant and a parent)
-could you support having a baby?
-do you have enough of a connection to make you satisfied in your relationship?
Note that he's removed from the equation. I find it important to centre yourself in this manner in order to think clearly and get the things that you want out of your life.
Now, I guess my opinion on this matter (you can agree or disagree), is that if a guy respected me enough, he would make sure I'm absolutely ok with it before he did anything to me. Inducing changes to my body and my life, like pregnancy, is one of them.
I would however, take a step back and remove him from the picture right now. Think about what you want, and what you feel:
-would you want to have A baby right now? (not necessarily his, but the idea of being pregnant and a parent)
-could you support having a baby?
-do you have enough of a connection to make you satisfied in your relationship?
Note that he's removed from the equation. I find it important to centre yourself in this manner in order to think clearly and get the things that you want out of your life.
Now, I guess my opinion on this matter (you can agree or disagree), is that if a guy respected me enough, he would make sure I'm absolutely ok with it before he did anything to me. Inducing changes to my body and my life, like pregnancy, is one of them.
Morning After Pill
It's contraception. It's available. Use it.
Then get on the pill, or use a condom, or buy the Today Sponge...this situation has a very easy solution.
And BTW - how exactly is he caring for you buy exposing you to a potential pregnancy? How long have you been together? I'm scared for you, please please
USE PLAN B!
It's contraception. It's available. Use it.
Then get on the pill, or use a condom, or buy the Today Sponge...this situation has a very easy solution.
And BTW - how exactly is he caring for you buy exposing you to a potential pregnancy? How long have you been together? I'm scared for you, please please
USE PLAN B!
Posted by tiki33
Oh so "THE MONEY" It't bound to make a woman believe the unreal....Good luck lady K, I definitely see you have your head in the clouds with this one, your bound to end up a single parent like his EX....
I date men in my own socioeconomical background, I actually see him as being just average middle class, so your view is extremely different to mine. And like I said before, your idea of what happened with his ex, is just that a random idea, probably something you have experienced with your ex and you are bitter about it. But I could just be making assumptions the same way you are.
Posted by nedley
Hmm... It's a difficult call, especially since I'm not you, Lady K, and I wasn't present to decipher the entire situation.
I would however, take a step back and remove him from the picture right now. Think about what you want, and what you feel:
-would you want to have A baby right now? (not necessarily his, but the idea of being pregnant and a parent)
-could you support having a baby?
-do you have enough of a connection to make you satisfied in your relationship?
Note that he's removed from the equation. I find it important to centre yourself in this manner in order to think clearly and get the things that you want out of your life.
Now, I guess my opinion on this matter (you can agree or disagree), is that if a guy respected me enough, he would make sure I'm absolutely ok with it before he did anything to me. Inducing changes to my body and my life, like pregnancy, is one of them.
Everything aside I would and could be ready for a child, we have been together on/off for 18 months, and the reason for the on/off thing is not due to another person, it is due to him being so busy with his work. He travels a lot overseas and interstate and sometimes on really short notice. I have spoken to him on a Sunday night at 11pm and he would be in the office in the city closing a deal with someone in NYC who has gone into the office on a Saturday day to do business with him. But he has recently decided it was time for him to have more of a life that just work, work, work.
I am nearly 32, I always said I wanted a baby by the time I am 32, so it definitely goes to say that you should be careful what you wish for 🙂
Posted by Lady_K
Everything aside I would and could be ready for a child, we have been together on/off for 18 months, and the reason for the on/off thing is not due to another person, it is due to him being so busy with his work. He travels a lot overseas and interstate and sometimes on really short notice. I have spoken to him on a Sunday night at 11pm and he would be in the office in the city closing a deal with someone in NYC who has gone into the office on a Saturday day to do business with him. But he has recently decided it was time for him to have more of a life that just work, work, work.
I am nearly 32, I always said I wanted a baby by the time I am 32, so it definitely goes to say that you should be careful what you wish for 🙂
Well honestly, it's whatever makes you happy, and if he makes you happy, that's pretty awesome. 🙂
Posted by Lady_KPosted by tiki33
Oh so "THE MONEY" It't bound to make a woman believe the unreal....Good luck lady K, I definitely see you have your head in the clouds with this one, your bound to end up a single parent like his EX....
I date men in my own socioeconomical background, I actually see him as being just average middle class, so your view is extremely different to mine. And like I said before, your idea of what happened with his ex, is just that a random idea, probably something you have experienced with your ex and you are bitter about it. But I could just be making assumptions the same way you are.click to expand
No kids, I'm not interested in being bitter takes up too much energy...I sense you being defensive about this issue, not surprised and as for his ex, I'm sure you know his side of the story, I'm sure she was just like you at some point, hoping to have a happy family but yet she's an ex for a reason with a child and part-time father and if he's so busy he's probably not always around as much as he should be so the kid suffers for that....
Good luck and as Ned says if he makes you happy and you know you can function with him or without him helping you raise your baby then go for it....
how did i miss this? did you take a page out of my life? i'm going to get REALLY personal and risk embarrassing myself in hopes that you'll listen to the words of the wise. tiki is correct.
i too was with a man who was well-off, who had a child in his younger years and had not had any "oopsies" for 12 years. to me that translated into him having been responsible since his first and only child had been born.
when we got together, i wasn't on the pill, he knew i wasn't on the pill. in the beginning we would use condoms occasionally but i recall the incident where we formally stopped using them.
we'd had unprotected sex then were on our way to a restaurant. in the car, a safe sex commercial came on the radio and i said, "see, we gotta do better." he got angry. he said, i'm with you. are you with anyone else? if you get pregnant, you get pregnant but i don't want to hear this shit after the fact. we'll do what we do and i'll take care of it.
his anger and firmness reassured me and that was the last time i uttered "put on a condom." hmm...now i'm about to get REALLY personal...
fast forward 2 years. he came over one afternoon on his way to a job site. i was pissed with him for some reason. i think i'd previously told him that we needed to call it quits. i didn't have proof but i knew he was cheating. he went into tarzan mode, carried me into the bedroom and after much resistance, i gave in. now here comes the TMI part...
he ejaculated outside of me but on my female area. that was the first time he'd done that. he then said, "look at me."
ok, you ready for this—
he scooped "it" up and put "it" inside of me. he said, i want you to know that "this" belongs to you. this belongs inside of you. you belong to me.
so at that point, my dumbass was IN LOVE because WHO DOES THAT? he was clearly serious about it just being he and i right?
he now has 2 more children. one that he was denying that was born just before we met and one that was conceived toward the end of our relationship. i got lucky and did not conceive with him but i got even luckier that being with him didn't mark the end of my life. there's more to consider than a baby when you don't protect yourself.
i too was with a man who was well-off, who had a child in his younger years and had not had any "oopsies" for 12 years. to me that translated into him having been responsible since his first and only child had been born.
when we got together, i wasn't on the pill, he knew i wasn't on the pill. in the beginning we would use condoms occasionally but i recall the incident where we formally stopped using them.
we'd had unprotected sex then were on our way to a restaurant. in the car, a safe sex commercial came on the radio and i said, "see, we gotta do better." he got angry. he said, i'm with you. are you with anyone else? if you get pregnant, you get pregnant but i don't want to hear this shit after the fact. we'll do what we do and i'll take care of it.
his anger and firmness reassured me and that was the last time i uttered "put on a condom." hmm...now i'm about to get REALLY personal...
fast forward 2 years. he came over one afternoon on his way to a job site. i was pissed with him for some reason. i think i'd previously told him that we needed to call it quits. i didn't have proof but i knew he was cheating. he went into tarzan mode, carried me into the bedroom and after much resistance, i gave in. now here comes the TMI part...
he ejaculated outside of me but on my female area. that was the first time he'd done that. he then said, "look at me."
ok, you ready for this—
he scooped "it" up and put "it" inside of me. he said, i want you to know that "this" belongs to you. this belongs inside of you. you belong to me.
so at that point, my dumbass was IN LOVE because WHO DOES THAT? he was clearly serious about it just being he and i right?
he now has 2 more children. one that he was denying that was born just before we met and one that was conceived toward the end of our relationship. i got lucky and did not conceive with him but i got even luckier that being with him didn't mark the end of my life. there's more to consider than a baby when you don't protect yourself.
Wow, this is so.. interesting. I do agree, there's much more to be concerned about than a baby. But why women choose to be with men, who don't take care of their kids, or just make the babies and dump the women is beyond me.. at one point she was you.
huh? my ex took care of his first child...the eldest. i didn't find out about baby 2 and 3 until AFTER the break up. i said that he was in denial of baby 2 because i found out later that he had been dodging the mother and within the past couple years baby momma #2 finally got him on paper.
for me, during the time we were together, i assumed that it was he and i. there were times that i knew in my gut that he was with others but i'm gullible in love. if a guy says he's faithful, i'm not going to go looking for proof otherwise. and what made my ex soooo sinister was that he emphatically stated/demonstrated that he was not cheating. that bedroom episode was just one incident of the extremes he'd go to in order to prove to me that he was invested in our union. of course i know now that a "real" investment comes with a ring but anyhoo...
"we all do it" isn't much of an excuse given "we all know better." i'm not trying to be self-righteous or judgmental at all. i'm not proud of what i just shared but if it causes someone out there to really take stock of what they're doing under the guise of "love," i'm willing to make an ass of myself.
there are no reassurances in relationships and a ring doesn't guarantee faithfulness. BUT, lowering the bar, disregarding common sense, acting foolishly or impulsively shouldn't be acceptable to any one. you know better, do better. don't let clocks ticking, promises of security and great sex keep you from thinking things through. no one wants to be a single parent. the OP is 31, not 41. now isn't the time to be desperate or reckless. a baby...or worse doesn't justify our errors. it just puts a big fat exclamation point behind them...one that may never go away.
for me, during the time we were together, i assumed that it was he and i. there were times that i knew in my gut that he was with others but i'm gullible in love. if a guy says he's faithful, i'm not going to go looking for proof otherwise. and what made my ex soooo sinister was that he emphatically stated/demonstrated that he was not cheating. that bedroom episode was just one incident of the extremes he'd go to in order to prove to me that he was invested in our union. of course i know now that a "real" investment comes with a ring but anyhoo...
"we all do it" isn't much of an excuse given "we all know better." i'm not trying to be self-righteous or judgmental at all. i'm not proud of what i just shared but if it causes someone out there to really take stock of what they're doing under the guise of "love," i'm willing to make an ass of myself.
there are no reassurances in relationships and a ring doesn't guarantee faithfulness. BUT, lowering the bar, disregarding common sense, acting foolishly or impulsively shouldn't be acceptable to any one. you know better, do better. don't let clocks ticking, promises of security and great sex keep you from thinking things through. no one wants to be a single parent. the OP is 31, not 41. now isn't the time to be desperate or reckless. a baby...or worse doesn't justify our errors. it just puts a big fat exclamation point behind them...one that may never go away.
Posted by tubbyscubby
huh? my ex took care of his first child...the eldest. i didn't find out about baby 2 and 3 until AFTER the break up. i said that he was in denial of baby 2 because i found out later that he had been dodging the mother and within the past couple years baby momma #2 finally got him on paper.
for me, during the time we were together, i assumed that it was he and i. there were times that i knew in my gut that he was with others but i'm gullible in love. if a guy says he's faithful, i'm not going to go looking for proof otherwise. and what made my ex soooo sinister was that he emphatically stated/demonstrated that he was not cheating. that bedroom episode was just one incident of the extremes he'd go to in order to prove to me that he was invested in our union. of course i know now that a "real" investment comes with a ring but anyhoo...
"we all do it" isn't much of an excuse given "we all know better." i'm not trying to be self-righteous or judgmental at all. i'm not proud of what i just shared but if it causes someone out there to really take stock of what they're doing under the guise of "love," i'm willing to make an ass of myself.
there are no reassurances in relationships and a ring doesn't guarantee faithfulness. BUT, lowering the bar, disregarding common sense, acting foolishly or impulsively shouldn't be acceptable to any one. you know better, do better. don't let clocks ticking, promises of security and great sex keep you from thinking things through. no one wants to be a single parent. the OP is 31, not 41. now isn't the time to be desperate or reckless. a baby...or worse doesn't justify our errors. it just puts a big fat exclamation point behind them...one that may never go away.
It wasn't particularly directed towards you. Just a general statement.
Random thought tubby, as I was reading your post, I couldn't keep my eyes off your photo. That waving is way too hypnotic. 😐
I'd be pretty apalled if someone said 'you are MINE' and did what he did in the bedroom. Perhaps I'd be a little squicked about it, or I'd just be angry that someone tried to stake their claim in me. Sure, it's nice to feel possessed, but I guess sometimes it's a bit much? I personally think I get to choose what I put in my body, and that includes someone else's well... you know.
But for what it's worth, I'm glad you told us your story. Must've taken some courage to recount that one. 🙂
I'd be pretty apalled if someone said 'you are MINE' and did what he did in the bedroom. Perhaps I'd be a little squicked about it, or I'd just be angry that someone tried to stake their claim in me. Sure, it's nice to feel possessed, but I guess sometimes it's a bit much? I personally think I get to choose what I put in my body, and that includes someone else's well... you know.
But for what it's worth, I'm glad you told us your story. Must've taken some courage to recount that one. 🙂
the waving ding is rather hypnotic but mi likes 🙂
the story was about my leo-ex and he was an addiction. as i said, i have sooo many stories of my dealings with that man and where i'm not "ashamed," they are things that are better left unsaid BUT! this thread resonated with me enough to issue a very candid warning which i'm sure will be ignored.
as for the episode, it was actually kinda HOT! disgusting, but HOT! he had a way about him that caused me to submit. he was firm/soft when he needed to be. i was putty. the point though is that just because a man wants to put stuff in ya and that seems contrary to logic, it doesn't mean that he's actively thinking about the consequences of his actions. the act of "being one" with someone is very erotic BUT it's your body, you're responsible for it, what goes into it and what comes out of it.
the casual nature by which the OP spoke of being 31 and wanting kids...so not the way to go. if i were her, i'd read and reread what tiki posted because although she'll totally dismiss it, it's exactly what she'll be thinking years from now when she's got a baby in her arms and mr. magic isn't so magical.
hindsight is a bitch slap.
the story was about my leo-ex and he was an addiction. as i said, i have sooo many stories of my dealings with that man and where i'm not "ashamed," they are things that are better left unsaid BUT! this thread resonated with me enough to issue a very candid warning which i'm sure will be ignored.
as for the episode, it was actually kinda HOT! disgusting, but HOT! he had a way about him that caused me to submit. he was firm/soft when he needed to be. i was putty. the point though is that just because a man wants to put stuff in ya and that seems contrary to logic, it doesn't mean that he's actively thinking about the consequences of his actions. the act of "being one" with someone is very erotic BUT it's your body, you're responsible for it, what goes into it and what comes out of it.
the casual nature by which the OP spoke of being 31 and wanting kids...so not the way to go. if i were her, i'd read and reread what tiki posted because although she'll totally dismiss it, it's exactly what she'll be thinking years from now when she's got a baby in her arms and mr. magic isn't so magical.
hindsight is a bitch slap.
Regardless of how anyone feels about the situation you described I think it should be noted that your willingness to put that out there for the sake of another is awesome tubby.
thx nic. hopefully someone wraps it up as a result. babies are cute but they're not playthings.
It is really interesting to see everyone's different view point on this topic.
But it seems to me, that most people have only bad story's when it comes to men, relationships and families.
Surly there are experiences out there where there are happy domestic de-facto relationships or do most people have bad experiences if they don't have a ring on their finger?
But it seems to me, that most people have only bad story's when it comes to men, relationships and families.
Surly there are experiences out there where there are happy domestic de-facto relationships or do most people have bad experiences if they don't have a ring on their finger?
what's good about letting some guy nut up in you?
you seem to want to make this about the good/bad aspects of your relationship and what you fail to realize is that babies aren't "well i'm old enough so why not risk it" decisions. not to mention the FACT that there are REAL diseases out there.
i don't give a damn about what your libra said to you. what i care about is that you're being stupid and you KNOW you are. you can be a stubborn lil twit if you wanna but it doesn't change the fact that STDs are real.
so you go right ahead and sit there indignantly with your 31 years of immeasurable experience. maybe you'll be blessed as i was and come out of it unscathed, maybe you'll get the fairytale, or maybe not...
you seem to want to make this about the good/bad aspects of your relationship and what you fail to realize is that babies aren't "well i'm old enough so why not risk it" decisions. not to mention the FACT that there are REAL diseases out there.
i don't give a damn about what your libra said to you. what i care about is that you're being stupid and you KNOW you are. you can be a stubborn lil twit if you wanna but it doesn't change the fact that STDs are real.
so you go right ahead and sit there indignantly with your 31 years of immeasurable experience. maybe you'll be blessed as i was and come out of it unscathed, maybe you'll get the fairytale, or maybe not...
Thank-you for caring so much about my health.
Why are you calling me a twit, thats not very nice?!
What makes you think that he is just some guy? What else do you know about us? Everyone has different reasons why they want to have children, why should your feelings be the deciding factor? If you dont care what my Libra said to me, why are you posting on this thread? What makes you think that your journey has to be the same as everyone else's? Just because you meet dodgy men, doesnt mean that I also do.
Why are you calling me a twit, thats not very nice?!
What makes you think that he is just some guy? What else do you know about us? Everyone has different reasons why they want to have children, why should your feelings be the deciding factor? If you dont care what my Libra said to me, why are you posting on this thread? What makes you think that your journey has to be the same as everyone else's? Just because you meet dodgy men, doesnt mean that I also do.
Yes, but is it really about a child, or is it about staking a claim. A way to keep you tied to him. Economic standing has nothing to do with this, it's about two mature individuals making a choice about whether or not to bring a life into this world. Are you prepared for stretch marks, bladder damage, swollen breasts, puffy ankles, sicking up, aching back, possible surgery? Are you mentally prepared to stumble out of bed, sleep deprived to feed and care for an infant? Are you ready to put everything on the back burner for 18 years and longer because it isn't about you any more, it's about raising another human being that's worth a damn and sending them out on their own.
tell her venus!
the damn house is burning and she wants to talk windows.
the damn house is burning and she wants to talk windows.
Well, part of the concern everyone is having is that you aren't really in a stable relationship with this man. An on-off relationship, a relationship where you are asking US if he wants to be with you or looking for someone else, based on something he said, says to me that you are questioning his commitment to the relationship. Lots of women make babies with men as a way of ensuring commitment by men.
I think if you were living together, felt really comfortable and certain of your relationship and where it was going, we would all be applauding and wishing you well.
If you really want to know where you stand and whether you should be making babies with this guy, find out. Ask him his intentions towards you. his intentions towards the child, what he wants to happen. If you don't, then you need to ask yourself why you are afraid of this conversation and what his answers might be.
I use to date really rich guys. I use to hang with that crowd. Let's just say, rich guys can afford great lawyers. And the more A-type a guy, the more I question his fidelity and his ability to be a great partner. (Based on the many people I met and my own experience.)
There are some brilliantly great men out there who are great partners. The fact that you aren't certain of the level of commitment really makes me wonder why you would have a baby with someone you feel so unsettled with.
Wishing you luck.
I think if you were living together, felt really comfortable and certain of your relationship and where it was going, we would all be applauding and wishing you well.
If you really want to know where you stand and whether you should be making babies with this guy, find out. Ask him his intentions towards you. his intentions towards the child, what he wants to happen. If you don't, then you need to ask yourself why you are afraid of this conversation and what his answers might be.
I use to date really rich guys. I use to hang with that crowd. Let's just say, rich guys can afford great lawyers. And the more A-type a guy, the more I question his fidelity and his ability to be a great partner. (Based on the many people I met and my own experience.)
There are some brilliantly great men out there who are great partners. The fact that you aren't certain of the level of commitment really makes me wonder why you would have a baby with someone you feel so unsettled with.
Wishing you luck.
Tubbyscubby, you rock. Just so you know. 🙂
Lady your in a situation of reacting to the actions and will of another instead of acting on your own. Your putting yourself at the mercy of someone who doesn't have your best interest at heart.
Thanks for sharing your story Tubby unfortunately your story fell on deaf ears....They have been off and on for 18 months, you can only imagine what this relationship will look like off and on for 18 plus years.
Loved your post venusianbull...
Loved your post venusianbull...
^^^ hey! what am I? chopped liver? lol!
thx sparrow and yeah tiki, i sensed when i was typing it that eh, she's already being defensive so this won't help. "love"...lust does things to women's brains that sometimes renders it useless.
It is just hard to see it when you are in it. We've all done it. *shrug*
All valid points. Thanks tiki. 🙂
little sparrow I didn't mean to leave you out LOL
You always give great advice, you don't need me to tell you that *wink*
You always give great advice, you don't need me to tell you that *wink*
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