One Helluva Confused Libra

I've got her going. She wanted to change the times we'd get together every week so now she has to call to find out when I'm available. She had it SO good and she blew it!

a solid relationship.

But Atom we all know she'd only have to bat her eyelids and be the damsel in distress and you'll come and rescue her.....THAT'S the problem, she knows you'll be there for her...you've given her a safety net....if you truly let go, she'll be lost. She'll either find a new interest or she'll come running to get you.

She blew it a year ago when we were all having the same discussions....as did mine blow it.....at some point you have to let her go completely and dive into that ocean once again 🙂

*hugs*

Atom, do u drink?

"She'll either find a new interest "

Thatz more probable. And that will be a good eye-opener for my Aries friend. Or yet another rather.

Of course he drinks....we all get driven to drink when we're around a Libra LOL.....*giggles*

Yes Atom, you have to maintain this new strength. If you succeed she'll give you more of the respect you deserve. If she ditches you for another interest......well you'll also (painfully) know how much she really cared for you. I hope it is not the latter one but be true to yourself and you can't ever go wrong there !!!

* She wanted to change the times we'd get together every week so now she has to call to find out when I'm available. She had it SO good and she blew it!

So what? Who knows? Maybe she really wanted to take a course/class the night that you normally got together so she needed to change the night. She didn't say she never wants to see you again ... she said she has to change the night.

* THAT'S the problem, she knows you'll be there for her...you've given her a safety net....if you truly let go, she'll be lost.

The problem is that she isn't romantically interested in him whatsoever yet he is harboring these feelings for her. The problem is she is just going on about her life blissfully unaware and he is taking it all personal.

* If you succeed she'll give you more of the respect you deserve.

Succeed in what? Manipulating someone into feeling insecure and destroying a friendship that they both have come to rely on and treasure? For what? To what end? When people play games with other people's emotions noone wins. She DOES respect him. She loves him and cares for him deeply but she doesn't have romantic feelings for him which she has told him repeatedly. He doesn't care. He doesn't respect her feelings. He wants what he wants. So who is disrespecting who? Really?

* If she ditches you for another interest......well you'll also (painfully) know how much she really cared for you.

This isn't directed at just you or Atom. Not at all. It is a trend that I see around here that frustrates me to no end. The truth is people have lives. It is unfair AND unhealthy to ask someone to put their whole life on hold so they can sit on the couch beside you and make you feel better about yourself. It doesn't work either. No one can complete you. No one can fill you up. Only YOU can do that.

People have other interests, other friends, other family, other hobbies. Instead of demanding that people give these things up, which leads to resentment and anger in both people, why not support your partner when they can't be with you and do other things with the time yourself?

Someone once told me that a relationship is only PART of your life. It is one basket out of 9. Friends. Career. Finances. Family. Hobbies. Spiritual Pursuits. Physical Activity. etc are all baskets. When you only focus on one of these, you go out of balance and everything suffers.

Whenever I have betrayed that wisdom and got wrapped up and focused soley on my relationship I become bitte

Whenever I have betrayed that wisdom and got wrapped up and focused soley on my relationship I become bitterly disappointed, frustrated, anxious, and depressed. It isn't healthy. It isn't healthy for anyone involved. One person cannot become our lives. It just doesn't work that way.

Atom,

Instead of being bitter and upset about this ... why not support her and say, "Sure no problem! I still want to see you. What can we work out?"

Accept what is and isn't possible here. If you truly love this woman than respect her and the beautiful friendship you have built. I know that isn't what you want to hear but that is the truth. If she wanted to be in a romantic relationship with you ... she would be. It does NOT mean she doesn't value you in so many other ways. She probably thinks the world of you and adores you. Just not in the way you want. You can accept this as fact or keep beating your head against the wall ... but how many years till you get a headache?

Whoa!! LS, The disrespect I'm talking about and is just common courtesy.

Atom, I don't know your entire history with this person, nor do I need to know to say this, but it does not matter how little or how long you have known someone if they lack the common courtesies to treat you respectfully then no amount of cajoling, hoping, praying, chanting,....whatever...is going to change that. LS is right about ONLY YOU can make yourself happy.

Eventually, you are going to get sick and tired of being sick and tired of a repeating the same frustrating situation and when you do....you'll honor and respect yourself and move on.

***Talk to her about everything YOU WANT from her in respect to the relationship issues.***

Sorry, I have to agree with LS. He has told her and she doesn't want to be with him romantically. Let it go man! It breaks my heart to see you are still wasting your love intrests on this girl...

kg, qs and chatz make sense to me. LS always seems to go on the offense assuming Libra Girl does everything right. I'm done. Libras don't appreciate what we do for them. Have a good time being ALONE. (LS, HOW can you accuse me of being manipulative when I give her EXACTLY what she wants?)

* Libras don't appreciate what we do for them .... (LS, HOW can you accuse me of being manipulative when I give her EXACTLY what she wants?)

Because you don't do it from a place of generosity of spirit. You do it from a place of wanting to be with her romantically. You do it from a place of wanting something from her. That is the manipulation. There *IS* a difference. The difference is in the intent.

Imagine if I was really nice to you. Did everything you wanted, developed a friendship with you, imagine we became best friends, doing everything together ... were there through thick and thing ... but the whole time I really just wanted you to buy me stuff. It is the same thing. You just don't see it cause you are in it.

I don't think this is a case of her being confused, lost, or "damaged". I don't think that is the case at all. She is just doesn't want a romantic relationship with you.

The reason why you see me as offensive is you know I speak the truth that you are denying to yourself.

Templer

I haven't seen her do anything disrespectful. She asked to change the night they get together. How is that disrespectful or lacking in any common courtsies? She even bakes the guy cakes. This situation has been going on for years. She has told him she doesn't have romantic feelings towards him ... yet here we are.

KG

From my understanding, I think they have had the conversation several times now.

Atom ... is this the same Libra woman you've been chasing since January 2-0-0-7 —?

Do you drink?

(( Because you don't do it from a place of generosity of spirit. You do it from a place of wanting to be with her romantically. You do it from a place of wanting something from her. That is the manipulation. There *IS* a difference. The difference is in the intent.))

LS, Thats exactly what he dont want to accept to himself. and he probably is scared to look at the situation from the realistic angle.

Atom, whatever ideas you have been carrying about this libra girl is only your IDEAS. Not real. There could be a dozen reasons why she dont like you romantically. May be you are ugly. May be you are fat and old. May be you are British. She wont tell you why bcoz it will hurt you. And she will not be ready to hurt her good friend.

If you drink, please begin the process asap. SHE IS NOT YOUR GIRL. Dont be stubborn. It will only make things worse for you as well as her. Probably she is not looking around for someone bcoz of the guilt factor that she is in a way responsible for your current situation.

I guess I got the impression she was being disrespectful and just playing games by this comment *****She wanted to change the times we'd get together every week***** That's just being mean if she accepts and then keeps changing it. It shows he's a low priority for her otherwise she made the date and should not accept something else that takes priority over him to keep changing the schedule with him.

Librans... dont try to act smart by trying to be honest just for the sake of it. Get over it. But perhaps you were piqued.

"It shows he's a low priority for her"


Temple .. are you on crack?


Did you even "hear" that this woman is NOT his girlfriend, nor wants to be?

No, LS, I see you as offensive because you are disrectful and automatically ASSUME I am wrong no matter what I do. You assume if I'm generous AT ALL it's to get "romantic"----gee, is that why YOU are generous— I'm not that shallow. I suspect you always think the worse of me---or any other male. Yes, Libra Girl is my friend and you still paint me with black intentions. SHE has "called the shots" and I went along with them. Are you so adamant in your position that you don't see this as manipulation on her part—? You Libras keep emphasizing how important friends are---but I guess only on your terms.

BTW, if I'm such a "terrible" guy, why is she still hanging around— Is she so desperate for friendship that she doesn't mind MANIPULATION---your word---all the time—

(( and automatically ASSUME I am wrong no matter what I do. ))

Thats not an assumption. Its a deduction. Look where you stand now. She has been saying the same thing since day 1 and you were never willing to listen to her. If you did everything right, and the libra girl was interested in you as you think, she would have been yours long long time ago. Also what might sound disrespectful can be the bitter truth no one is willing to accept or understand.

When your Aries guy is generous to you, accuse him of doing it to manipulate you and see how he reacts. Good test for your relationship, eh?

thelibra, I respect you and appreciate your comments. I knew months ago LG and I would never be more than friends. Believe me, she did a magnanimous job killing those feelings in me---I was numb for weeks. So at this juncture I have no intentions to manipulate---despite what LS says . SHE'S GETTING WHAT SHE WANTS. Why am I getting attacked? She IS doing exactly what she wants----I only see her a few hours a week now tops. So dear Libras you always claim FRIENDSHIP is important to you----yet you don't want to spend TIME with your friends. THAT'S what's been going on with me.

Its not a conscious level intention to manipulate. Somewhere deep inside your head, there lies a thought which programs your movements and strategies to find solutions to get inside her pants. 😛 Else you wouldn't be so concerned about whats going on btween you and her.

I have many friends whom i dont want to shag and there are many whom i would love to sleep with. And a few whom I wish to spend rest of my life with. I have to take so much of effort to tackle myself to keep myself away from the ones I just want to sleep with. Bcoz I know I only want to shag them and once i satisfy my lust, i might end up withdrawing myself from the situation and end up breaking their heart. So wats the best solution? Go with my selfish wants or control myself?

TOJ, I think you're right I'm a LOW PRIORITY to her. Thank you for making it clear.

I don't think you are a Low priority as such Atom, I just dont believe she's ready for anything more than what you have been doing over the past few years......she's not being selfish, she's not using you, she's not trying to string you along....she's just being herself....

I agree, if you feel so strongly about her (which we know you do LOL), then please tell her...put yourself and her out of your misery.....it won't end tragically because she'll hear it from your lips, she will give you an answer though because she will be put in that position she'll have to. Til now she hasn't had to.

Go for it...what have you got to lose? 2 more years of not knowing?

P-ANgel F-off !!! REGARDLESS of any romantic connection between people or not.......if someone........ ANYONE......accepts time time to do things with you and then keeps canceling on you again and again......you are a low priority ! Realize it.

"ANYONE......accepts time time to do things with you and then keeps canceling on you again and again......you are a low priority !"

As simple as that. But am afraid something of Atom's has died.

"she's not being selfish, she's not using you, she's not trying to string you along."

Well said. Just that she may actually be relishing this "free lunch" after-all. Atom, on his part, should ideally preserve this "service" for the one who can actually return his feelings. If Librans have this "philosophy" of engaging with altruistic partners who would happily contribute to their dream, then let them work hard and earn it.

FINALLY it sounds like someone is hearing me. Thank you, kg, for your sensibility. GA, I think you're right on-----need to go from there.

* She has been saying the same thing since day 1 and you were never willing
to listen to her. If you did everything right, and the libra girl was
interested in you as you think, she would have been yours long long time
ago. Also what might sound disrespectful can be the bitter truth no one is
willing to accept or understand.

Thank you.

* When your Aries guy is generous to you, accuse him of doing it to
manipulate you and see how he reacts. Good test for your relationship, eh?

Huh? No. He is generous of spirit which is why I am with him. I have many
male friends who have done things for me because they wanted a romantic
relationship or get in my pants as thelibran put it. I know whereof I speak. There is a difference. The Aries has never done or did anything to make me feel or do anything. There are no hidden strings.

* Its not a conscious level intention to manipulate. Somewhere deep inside your head, there lies a thought which programs your movements and strategies to find solutions to get inside her pants. Else you wouldn't be so concerned about whats going on btween you and her.

Thank you.

What betrays you Atom is the fact that you are so upset about what she does or doesn't do. When my friend(s) can't get together because they are busy or have to change plans or whatever ... I may get a little disappointed for a moment but I sure as heck don't take it personally. I shrug it off and go on my merry little way and don't think any more of it. I don't get upset, threaten to end the friendship, and accuse them of playing games with me. I don't take it personal. I don't have heighten expectations because I see them as friends. I am not hoping for more.

The reason so many people are confused about your sitation and think you are dating this girl or in a relationship with this girl is because YOU treat it like you are. You have the same expectations and demands that people have of their romantic partnerships NOT their friends.

* I don't think you are a Low priority as such Atom, I just dont believe she's ready for anything more than what you have been doing over the past few years......she's not being selfish, she's not using you, she's not trying to string you along....she's just being herself....

Thank you Chatz. Perhaps he will listen to you.

* should ideally preserve this "service" for the one who can actually return his feelings. If Librans have this "philosophy" of engaging with altruistic partners who would happily contribute to their dream, then let them work hard and earn it.

Huh? Have you ever had a friend? lol!

She isn't using him. She is treating him like a friend.

The libran family is much more less brutal than the scorp family.... LOL!!!

except me QS! And my foul man-hating ways. lol!

KG

As far as I know, he has told her he is interested in a romantic relationship with her and told her that he wants to take things further. She has told him she isn't interested in that.

Perhaps that is why she has pulled back on the time they spend together.

Also I understood the changing plans was that they say each other a set night of the week and she needed to change it. I may have been mistaken in that thought.

***The libran family is much more less brutal than the scorp family.... LOL!!✨**

Oops much less.

Even you LS, compared to the lashing of the scorp tongues...

Happy to make you happy, Latina.

So you're a mind reader, LS? There is NO WAY to know someone else's motivation.

Sharing with you is betraying myself, huh? Time to be cold and heartless, eh? You certainly wouldn't be able to make your false accusations then. Of course you don't know me at all but you just assume I'm manipulative and the only generosity I would show to my friend would be to try to get her into bed with me. That's how I know you don't know me. But you tend to have a very strong "voice" in your e-mails, very convincing, so I can see why others would automatically take your side and assume your OPINION was fact. Anyway, I feel sorry for your Mr. Aries---he probably knows he was one of many frogs kissed before you made up your mind---(hmm....isn't THAT manipulation—)------but you can be very unpleasant and Aries are basically GOOD GUYS so after awhile he may not want to tolerate that about you. My OPINION of course.

latina, he had his experience with the scorp woman. I don't think he likes us much. LOL!!! Well in that way. 😉

Atom, the basic difference btween Aries and Libra is the way we both perceive things around us. we might put a gun on to our friends head to stop them from getting into trouble even if we have to sacrifice that friendship for the sake of their benefit. Aries will put a gun on to his own head to motivate him further to get whatever he thinks he wants.

If you find an Aries working in social service, its bcoz they want to become something and prove themselves to others. Not bcoz they want to help others. Its the selfish way of seeing the outer world. You have a freedom to avoid b_tch_ing about your LG in this forum. But you prefer not to care and keep trying to portray her as an evil self centered monster who has been playing you. You expect her to behave in certain ways and you get disappointed when she doesn't. Then you come straight to dxp and post everything here trying to make her look like the bad person. Why is it so? Do you not respect her at all? You are hoping to get some positive responses from us and you are disappointed when you dont get it from few of us. Then you turn hostile. Stop being so childish. I do agree its hard for an Aries to sit and think logically for a while. But try. It will do you a lot of help.

((Because you don't do it from a place of generosity of spirit. You do it from a place of wanting to be with her romantically. You do it from a place of wanting something from her. That is the manipulation. There *IS* a difference. The difference is in the intent.))

What is her intent?? Does it come from a place of generosity?? Can you honestly believe that this woman is blissfully unaware of his feelings for him ?? Do you think that when she cancels plans that she does not know that he will take it personally??

She wants something as well(what I don't know), because it is damn well uncomfortable to spend time with someone that you know cares about you, when you don't feel the same way...Of course she knows that she is hurting him when she does things like this...

If she was a true friend and loved him, she would let go of him for the time being and let him move on...

But, Atom like I said in another post, damaged Libras want something from us but they don't know what and this will continue until you stop it...They know that they are hurting us but some part of their emotions are involved whether partner/friendship and they are not strong enough to end it...You have to do it, tell her how you feel, although she already knows, get her response and act upon it accordingly..If it means letting the friendship go for now, than let it go..

And to be fair to her, you are also responsible for this situation because you do care about her, and have not told her...It puts a lot of pressure and guilt on the other party when they don't feel the same way but try to maintain a friendship , knowing that they are hurting you...I don't believe that either one of you are manipulative, I believe that you are both burying your head in the sand about the situation, you both need something from the relationship, but I believe they are two very different needs..


((I have many friends whom i dont want to shag and there are many whom i would love to sleep with. And a few whom I wish to spend rest of my life with. I have to take so much of effort to tackle myself to keep myself away from the ones I just want to sleep with. Bcoz I know I only want to shag them and once i satisfy my lust, i might end up withdrawing myself from the situation and end up breaking their heart. So wats the best solution? Go with my selfish wants or control myself? ))

thelibran..

Are you a damaged Libra— This post caught my attention beacuse you say you have a few friends you w

sorry

anyways you say you have a few friends you would like to sleep with and A few friends you would like to spend your life with...This sounds indecisive...Do you mean spend your life with them as friends or partners ??

Every time I meet a leo girl or pisces girl, I end up lusting them. Now since it keeps happening out of my conscious level control/ethics or whatever, I must identify it as a natural feeling. A part of me want to shag them. Other part want to run away without trying to take advantage of the situation. Another part keep saying "bcoz it was like that in past doesn't mean it will be the same every time you meet a leo" and try to justify my lust. Now from the past experiments, I am aware of the fact that I have found serious communication frequency mismatch with Leo girls. And way too much conflict of pride and misunderstandings originated from these two factors. So what you think I should do? Go ahead and shag every leo girl i end up lusting? and later withdraw and leave her to sort out her hurt feelings? Or tackle myself and try my best to stay away from them so even if they think am a loser, I can end up saving them some emotional trouble?



((Can you honestly believe that this woman is blissfully unaware of his feelings for him ??))
She is aware. But what do you expect her to do? Tell him she don't have any feelings for him? How can she explain it without hurting him? Whats the guarantee that he wont turn hostile or try to persuade her into a relationship she dont want to get into? Thats when a libra goes silent.

Tempted to apologize for the perceived Aries "blast" but continually mortified by the majority of this Board's acceptance of LS's input at face value. She has USED men again and again and pounces on my interaction ALWAYS defending my Libra friend as if she has never done anything wrong. I think it's her condescending attitude and rigidness to her own predetermined opinion that I disagree wit. I don't get that "vibe" from the others here. No, I'm not fat or ugly or socially inept---I am a PRIVATE person, so it takes time to know me. It is hard to detach from the FRIENDSHIP with Libra Girl. I am NOT desparate to get LAID. I KNOW I am stuck in this relationship that some say I'm an enabler or a manipulator. What about human being trying to understand what's going on? It's too bad, thelibran, that you think I only come to this Board to complain about my Libran friend----though you're right, I have done that often. And SHAME ON those of YOU who think we Aries folks are not generous or help others without ulterior motives! THAT is LOW. If you can feel Fire now, I've made my point. Yes, Aries can be proud and arrogant but their sacrifice and generosity is stronger than any other sign I know. They keep that stuff in the background, that's all. Pioneers and lovers always.

And thank you to those of you who have encouraged me to stay true to my Arian self. I'm sorry if BEING MYSELF has offended some of you---you've taken some great pot shots!---but we will NEVER be like Libra. Unlike some contributors here, I have NOT given up on my Libra. I ADORE her and ENJOY who she IS----just like some of you lovely women here. Within that context I can still disagree with some of her actions and choices! I truly don't understand a friendship based on spending LESS time with the other person, but that seems okay with Libra. I don't understand the HUGE outbursts when I vary my schedule at all----but I'm suppose to accept whatever Libra wants when she wants it---or I'm considered in some delusional way "manipulative." I'm the one with the 65 hour work week constantly changing. SHE doesn't work! Gee, that gives her, er, ALL WEEK to do ANYTHING she wants! There is the argument that Libra Girl has from the beginning only wanted to be friends and has always acted like that. SORRY! I would NEVER be that insensitve to my friends---I'd at least try to understand my friend's point of view. I agree with one friend here: I have given too much---so at least away from her that won't happen. And, latina, let's just say you are very intuitive regarding moi. I've had some laughs on this Board. Especially with kg, QS, Chatz and Sola. And I deeply respect ol' nicodemus even though he's MIA lately. At this point my contributions seem to be of little value, just fodder that riles up negativity. I don't like that; so if I "go silent" for awhile, I hope you understand.

conflicting thoughts Atom.
((It is hard to detach from the FRIENDSHIP with Libra Girl.)) ((I have NOT given up on my Libra.))

((Within that context I can still disagree with some of her actions and choices! I truly don't understand a friendship based on spending LESS time with the other person, but that seems okay with Libra.))


If you disagree with her actions and choices, you are suppose to talk to her, not in dxp. if u want to understand her better, then you shouldn't be expecting anything out of her.

I may not talk to my libra friends as often as i communicate with my other senseless friends. We can continue from where we left it even after years. we dont try to spend more time with a friend but spend whenever we have time. and it really doesn't matter to us if we dont talk to each other for a few years. The bond remains the same.

This is almost same for most Aries I know. This rule is overridden only when there is element of attraction. You can deny it but its the situation with u Atom. You are attracted to her beyond the parameters of a casual friend. For some reason, she is not interested. If you like her as a person, the best u can do is to spend some time to free ur head of such thoughts and try to see her like how u see all ur other friends. Or you can quit and walk away from her and then go back after a year.

" I do agree its hard for an Aries to sit and think logically for a while. "

Now how logical is that ? Do you see an inherent contradiction in this broad-brush statement ? But since Aries and Libra are very much the same in many regards, am not surprised by this self-righteous swipe.

Itz understandable that the solution which Atom is looking for is not to be gotten here or any place elsewhere. The solution is "him" actually. But like any other ordinary human being ( like some of us ), he is going through a phase where one tries to do some loud thinking, throw allegations around, vent frustrations, validate his/her theme about the matter and hope to bulid some momentum towards the final stage of "realization" and "self-purge". Some of the esteemed individuals do it in a discreet manner and do it really well in a gentlemanly way. For others, they simply can't get on top of their agony, and seek various sources which can help them move towards a decision or help them forget the situation. Alcohol is one of such sources. Then one has "friends" to turn to in such situations since they don't tend to judge ( at least initially ) even when they have enough idea of how painful the eventual solution would be. To be fair, although Aries take most of the blame for this, but itz equally hard for anyone to come out of the shadows and accept that one is at fault. Not voicing dissent and not accepting the verdict are two different things and some folks escape notoriety by choosing the former.

Now in Atom's case, the Libra girl can either be a saintly soul who just wishes well for him in which case Atom knows what he is supposed to do. Else she may actually be fully aware of his weakness and is keeping him on whatever fluctuating priority she thinks is fine at the moment. But whose fault is that ? Atom's ? Of course he is perpetuating it but is he really unique in having done that ? Libra girl's ? Does she have any realistic options ?


And when someone starts criticizing a Libra on this board ( true for others as well ) itz possible to fall prey to this mentality that the censure is actually directed at each one of you present here. The whole discussion then slowly veers off to a mix of optimistic idealism and vendetta driven pessimistic determinism.

Hmmmm as a fellow fire sign I know all too well how hard it is to let go and dread closing the door for good because unlike what I've read and heard from other signs, we are unable to go back once its closed...there will be no opportunity for rekindling things...this is why I hadnt closed mine all the way although I have continued on with my life and have been dating and having loads of fun...I still hold a very special place for Libra should he wish to discuss a future....but having said that, it won't be open forever.

Atom feels that there is something there worth holding onto although he also realises that there's every chance he's giving up so much of his own needs and hopes for nothing. Libra girl seems very happy to go along with what she has and I have found that to be a Libra trait and unless they are pushed, will assume all is well. Atom has not pushed her to this point and therefore she isn't going to give anything...she's clearly unable/unwilling to do so without some sort of pushing/provocation.

I can only suggest Atom, as I have done so many times before and others on this board also, that you do confront her with what you really want....if she does not feel this way she will most likely be honest with you as Im sure she does not want you to hurt (which you clearly are).

the letting go part is so very difficult but it has to be done (sometimes this even jolts the other person into reality but I have also found with Librans? unless they show/tell you? you're just fooling yourself).....dating others? I know you've been doing that as well but you're not allowing yourself the chance to "fall" for anybody else because you have attached yourself so much to Libra.....this isn't healthy (I did this) and you lose so much in the process.

to let go is the kindest thing to do for both you and her....she will hate herself for knowing you're hurting over her....just tell her how you feel and take it from there....brace yourself though, for a very candid response but be open to discussing things for a future.....you have nothing to lose but by not knowing, not talking? you have so much to lose...and that is your life (too many years spent waiting for somebody who doesnt feel the same makes you bitter and resentful in the longterm and we dont want that to happen with you).

You seem to be a very genuine and loyal man....dont waste it not knowing...go out and ask her....do it, do it, do it *chants*.

xx

spoze you could always stalk her to make sure she's not sleeping with anybody else?? LOL.

Or hit her over the head with a stick and drag her back to your cave and make her your woman!!! Gotta love the caveman era LOL

* Secretly, she loves it. She loves having you into her. She loves complaining about it, she loves not giving into you. Let me ask you this, does she have a boyfriend? Does she date other people? Doesn't it kill you to know she could be sleeping with someone else right now? If she ain't doin' this with anyone else, I think she's yours.

I disagree. This sounds like a Scorp thing but not a Libra thing. Libras don't like having power over other people. They rather take the passive roll. They seek balanced situations not unblanced as this would be.

* She has USED men again and again and pounces on my interaction

Where do you get this from?

Atom,

I have never said you were ugly or unattractive at all. I think you are a good-hearted person who is attracted to another good-hearted person who, although treasures you, doesn't share that attraction to you. I think you are in a situation with someone who is trying not to hurt your feelings so is either pulling back to allow you to get over the attraction with hopes that the friendship can blossom again in the future or is completely clueless to how all this is effecting you. I think you know there is truth to this guestimate which is why you get so upset and so angry whenever she pulls back and get so angry and upset with me. I believe she doesn't know what else to do.

You can confront her again but from what I have read you HAVE confronted her again, and again, and again.

What I don't think you understand is that I think you are BOTH doing the best you can. My frustration is that I want better for you. I want you to be with the love of you life who loves you back fully and completely. You have spent years and years in this situation. As Chatz says ... (too many years spent waiting for somebody who doesnt feel the same makes you bitter and resentful in the longterm and we dont want that to happen with you).

You tend to read hosility in my words when there are none. I sincerly want the best for you and have since day one, yet you always get angry and passive agressive with me. This situation is not the best for you. I think you are selling yourself short by staying engaged in it.

I wish you would believe that but you won't.

I understand your hositlity towards me. I always have because I am the one saying, "how many years are you going to do this? when is enough enough?" I could lie to you and encourage you to continue with this girl the way you have, and pat you on the head and say there, there try again, but I would be doing you a diservice and I won't. A) I am a crap liar lol! and B) the truth has a healing power of its own.

I will happy continue to serve as your whipping post if need be. 🙂