Sad news

My scorp friend who has (today) expressed how much he likes me, has been in the hosital all night with his son (9 years old, who he has sole custody of), who has chronic asthma, whose lungs collapsed and who couldn't breathe for 3 minutes is hooked up to an oxygen machine and they don't know if will have brain damage or not called me several times last night and today and I didn't answer, because we had a disagreement about our friendship.

He getting really emotionally attached, but not ready for a relationship, me really liking him as a person, but don't think there would be a future of a relationship for us.

He finally texted me after 9 unanswered calls (I know I usually answer calls even when there has been a disagreement, but he wasn't getting my point and clearly, I misunderstood him and I didn't want to talk) asking me to call. I finally did and he just expressed how much respect and admiration he had for me as a person and how his emotions were getting out of control, how it hurts him when I ignore him. Bottom line we got things straight and he is now clear that we are only friends...

I told him he sounded horrible and exhausted, he tells me about his son and I feel like butter!!!! He really needed a friend and I was ignoring him. I almost cried after hearing the story. He doesn't know if his son will have brain damage or not because of the lack of oxygen he had received to his brain.. He hadn't been to sleep and had to go into work.

I don't feel there is enough I could do for him because of this... I don't know what to do... I cannot imagine possibly losing a child. My heart aches for him and his family and especially his son.

I asked if there is anything I can do. His response. "Just continue to be my friend." I told him sure, but anything else I can do to let me know, even if it is to go to the hospital with him.

I feel like CRAP!!!!

QS-- I am really sorry for how badly you feel. I REALLY know how badly you feel too because a little over 3 weeks ago my friend called and wanted to make sure we were still getting together the following week and was unable to get through to me and left a voice message to call back. I meant to call her back but it got late and I wrote it on my calendar to do it the next day. Well the next day was crazy and I still wasn't able to call her, but I again wrote her name on my calendar to call the following day.

I didn't get around to doing it then either until the next morning and only got her voice mail.I left a message apologizing for taking so long to get back to her. Later that day a family member called to tell me that she had killed herself the day before.

The enormous amount of guilt and shame I feel I still struggle with for not TAKING the time to call her back (regardless of the hour) makes me feel lower then low. I don't hold myself responsible for whatever motivated her to take her life but I can't help but always wonder "what if" I had called sooner?. That is where I feel so bad for not calling or taking her call when I should have in a timely manner the same day.

I am very sorry to hear about your friend and his child. I will say a prayer for them.

I truly know how badly your heart feels at this particular time about not knowing then.... what you know now.

The last few weeks have made me much more attentive to returning calls and emails and TAKING the time to follow thru NOW rather then later when I know someone made the effort to contact me. You just never know.

Didn't your friend leave any message when he was trying to contact you to let you know the nature of the call? Glad you eventually got things straightened out.

I'm really sorry for how badly you are feeling right now. ((hug))

About the only thing you can do is offer to listen if he needs to talk and let him know you are there as a FRIEND if that's been your intentions prior to the circumstances. Your concern and compassion right now should be comfort enough!

Wow!!! TJ, that was tragic!!! Your story makes me feel better. I am sorry for what happened to you as well. That has got to be hard to deal with, to think, maybe if only I had called her back, but like you said, it had nothing to do with you why she took her own life.

I am just praying for his son. I hope everything is okay. Sigh.... My daughter's father is picking her up from school tomorrow, so I will offer to go to the hospital with him tomorrow. 😢 I feel so bad.

Yay, I am happy to announce that my friends son is doing well!!!! He doesn't have brain damage and he woke up this afternoon. I am going to meet him and his family at the hospital tomorrow. Yay!!!

woooohoooo awesome....there is a happy ending 🙂 🙂

YAY!

I was going to say that I doubted there would be drain damage. Best wishes for the little boy and his family.

Great NEWS!!!!! Feels good to know it!

Thanks guys my friend is really stressed. I am glad I was able to be there for him without the misunderstandings. However, on the scorp board I hear scorp males don't hear the words "friends only" when they like you. He doesn't have a choice. LOL!!! I am a scorp too.

KennyG. I know you are right. I am a scorp and I know we like people just because we do and when we do we just do... If that makes any sense, especially when we are falling for them. I don't know if I mentioned it. He mentioned that he was falling for me during our convo and I had to nip it in the bud right there.

He is a friend first. I can't help but be there for my friends. It is my nature. It's my thing. That is how I am with all my friends. If someone asked any of my friends to name one thing about me. They would say: Dependable or Loyal.

You did GREAT, QS!

That is a great outcome. I am glad he didn't suffer brain damage and it looks like everything will be ok. Props on your part for being able to be there for him regardless of what was going on between the two of you. That is a sign of someone with great character, not just a great friendship.

***that's the whole thing. It is really, really hard for a Scorpio to not try to fix things.****

True, we think we are doctors for all things... We try to make the world a better place for those we care for. I recently get that sometimes being there is enough, it just doesn't feel like it is sometimes.

😉 Thanks Atom....

***Props on your part for being able to be there for him regardless of what was going on between the two of you. That is a sign of someone with great character, not just a great friendship.***

Thanks Nic, I must admit, I have learned this vertue from dealing with so many libras. That is the number one thing I love about them. They care and love on so many levels. I love that!!! It confuses most, but I admire that very vertue...