Scorp Officially Out of My Life

Profile picture of theGrinch
theGrinch
@theGrinch
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 265 · Topics: 19
Welp, my year long saga has officially come to an end. It was sorta abrupt as we spoke throughout the day Tuesday and on Wednesday she blocked me on Facebook. I did the unfollow on Spotify so that was the last of any social media connections we had. I was suppose to visit her in August, so I cancelled the ticket only to find out it was non-refundable 😢 I still get a credit to use for another flight, but still burns a bit. A little down, but mainly because it was a year of my life wasted as it seems none of it meant anything. What can you do....
Profile picture of rockyroadicecream
rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 1243 · Posts: 16617 · Topics: 170
Posted by theGrinch
Ah yeah I'll do my thing, but it will be rough for a bit. Haven't been doing so great in the romance department recently, which hasn't been much of an issue before. Thanks for the advice there tiz, but I think I'm going to stick to the "don't think about her" plan at this point.



Yes, because avoiding the emotions that come up in the coping/mourning process is healthy. *eyeroll*

Do what you gotta do, but be sure you deal with all of this appropriately or you're going to inadvertently drag it into your next relationship.
Profile picture of theGrinch
theGrinch
@theGrinch
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 265 · Topics: 19
It's basically a long saga, but we never actually dated. I worked with her and eventually we started talking then hanging out outside of work. Did lunch a few times, couple of concerts, but when I asked her to dinner she said yes then flaked. On that same week, she flaked on a concert we had planned and a party after that. Obviously I was ticked, so doing my Libra thing, I went no contact. Two weeks later she apologies, I told her just be honest if she doesn't want to do something she can say it and she said she did, but had a lot going on.

I invite her to a birthday Happy Hour with coworkers, she says yes, but then says her friend's mom's surprise party is that day. She says she'll go to that late, just miss the surprise, but I told her don't worry go to the surprise party. I said this because I was having a party with friends later that weekend and invited her to that as well. Party comes, she's a no show and no contact, though ironically her brother was at the bar that night. On my actual birthday, no text just a Facebook comment saying Happy Birthday. Her excuse that time was she scratched her eye when removing her contact.

She had been trying to leave where we work to go to another state and in December she got a job there. The timeline was she would leave on December 29th for the new state. We actually had off for the week of Christmas and made plans to meet up (that of course did not happen). At that point I wrote her off. Two weeks into the New Year she texts me and says she misses me.

Profile picture of theGrinch
theGrinch
@theGrinch
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 265 · Topics: 19
So we start talking again, couple times a week through text, Facebook, and IM. What she doesn't know that I know is that since around October she was seeing someone and just never mentioned it. Everything clicked as that went with when she started flaking on me. The ironic thing is she is dating a Libra with a birthday very close to mine lol. Anyhow, she says a couple more times she misses me and let's me know she's coming back in March for a bar crawl and concert, we should meet up. I mess up and end up late to the bar crawl so we aren't on the same bus. She asks if we're going to meet up, I suggested either at the last bar at 7 or lunch the next day. She says the last bar will work, but doesn't show.

We continue to talk throughout the following months and in May she says I could meet her in a city she was going to or come to her city to visit. I said sure and didn't mention it again. In June, I say to her if the invite was still open that I was thinking of coming in August. She says of course and when I said I'll book a hotel she says no she has two bedrooms I can stay there. Then she adds that her partner has moved in. Mind you, in the entire time I've met her she hadn't mention seeing anyone (though I did know) and it wasn't until I said I was coming that she told me. Anyhow, I said that's cool and we continue on.

Profile picture of theGrinch
theGrinch
@theGrinch
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 265 · Topics: 19
July I book the ticket and I let her know. She asks for the dates and then sends me a picture of a bar she wants us to go to. She also asks that I email her my itinerary, which I do and she never sends me anything back. Not that you would need too, but I'd assume that you would respond to that email. So on Tuesday she IM's me about the normal mindless stuff that we talk about and asks how my weekend was. I said good and asked about hers since I knew she was in the city she told me I should meet her in. She said she had a great time and talked about a couple things. She told me it was lunch time and that she'd be right back, she doesn't IM me again.

On her Facebook, her partner posts a Happy Anniversary message in regards to how great the past YEAR of them being together was. On the timeline, the first concert we went to together was when they had officially been in a relationship. So, I'll admit I was ticked, so mostly out of spite I like the anniversary post. She sends me some music shortly after and we texted on my way home. She asks about my plans for the night and I ask her the same, she doesn't answer that question, but just comments on my plans. Wednesday, she blocks me on Facebook and now I'm where I am today.
Profile picture of theGrinch
theGrinch
@theGrinch
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 265 · Topics: 19
I'll admit I'm not the perfect guy and I have probably done some not great things, but I don't feel like I was in the wrong. It is my own fault for continuing things when I knew ultimately nothing was going to happen and that she was seeing someone. But, to invite me to meet up with you when your with your partner on your Anniversary trip? My assumption is she was going to go no contact prior to my coming for the visit and this was the perfect time to do it. Seeing as I now knew that whatever I thought we had was actually meaningless and that for a year she choose not to mention she was seeing anyone.

My only real issue is the fact that she didn't think she could tell me she was seeing someone. I still enjoyed being friends with her and when she did finally tell me I still made the plans to visit. But clearly I am a fool. Obviously I can only give one side to the story and I'm sure she'd have her side of it too.
Profile picture of rockyroadicecream
rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 1243 · Posts: 16617 · Topics: 170
Sounds like she was being a typical indecisive hobag, tbh. How old is she, 21??

Way to be a typical Lib, TG. Chasing after something you couldn't have and trying to give this silly bitch the benefit of the doubt even though the flags were there.

It kills me when you guys do this to yourselves because you deserve better. You guys are the epitome of that girl chasing the bad boy always and ignoring the good stuff out there.
Profile picture of aquarius09
Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 679 · Posts: 11841 · Topics: 2
Posted by theGrinch
As for what did I learn? Two strikes and your out. A no to plans or flaking on plans means no interest. Also, I've got enough friends so I won't continue the friends after rejection route anymore. Good lessons I think lol



Precisely!!! Very good lessons learned I believe. Now you see it wasn't wasted time at all!

You know, I read the first part to your story and I knew right away that she had someone on the side already. People who are truly available and are serious behaved like you did. People who behave like the Scorpio are people who are not emotionally available but lead ppl on because their relationship with the other person is rocky. So they lead ppl on to boost their ego/self-worth while their partner isn't giving them any attention. So everytime she msged you, it was because things were tough with her bf at the time. I'm sorry you had to go through that, but I truly believe that everything happens for our betterment, and going by the priceless lessons you learned, this was for the good.
Profile picture of aquarius09
Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 679 · Posts: 11841 · Topics: 2
Posted by everevolvingepithet
Posted by aquarius09
Rocky, I think we all know this is a one sided story and I think it's best that way because he's down right now. You can be the biggest jackass in real life, but on dxpnet, it's all about kissing the boo boos, dontcha think? Lol 😄


Surely it's the other way around?
click to expand




About time you showed up! I have to lurk around libra forum to see if you are still active! To answer your question, it's both. One sided stories and sometimes ppl get bashed big time.
Profile picture of theGrinch
theGrinch
@theGrinch
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 265 · Topics: 19
Honestly I deserved what I got. Fact is I signed up for it and I got it, plain and simple. I could have called a stop to it, not responded, but the fact is I thought I could change what was. It's a movie cliche, but "we accept the love we think we deserve."(Perks of Being a Wallflower) When she flaked on me I said "hey, no worries." Someone better then I would have said they wouldn't put up with such things. My friends girlfriend told me not to bother, she wasn't interested, but that Libra pride said "everyone is interested!"

If I thought better of myself, then I'd have better.
Profile picture of Draumstafir
Draumstafir
@Draumstafir
12 Years500+ PostsScorpio

Comments: 1 · Posts: 846 · Topics: 52
Posted by aquarius09
Aww you lil libmunchkin! The only time wasted is time not spent learning, and since every experience teaches us something, it wasn't wasted. How about you tell us what you learned about yourself from this relationship?



Posted by aquarius09
Rocky, I think we all know this is a one sided story and I think it's best that way because he's down right now. You can be the biggest jackass in real life, but on dxpnet, it's all about kissing the boo boos, dontcha think? Lol 😄
click to expand




Aquarius in Sun vs in Moon is, like, amazing.
Profile picture of aquarius09
Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 679 · Posts: 11841 · Topics: 2
Posted by theGrinch
Honestly I deserved what I got. Fact is I signed up for it and I got it, plain and simple. I could have called a stop to it, not responded, but the fact is I thought I could change what was. It's a movie cliche, but "we accept the love we think we deserve."(Perks of Being a Wallflower) When she flaked on me I said "hey, no worries." Someone better then I would have said they wouldn't put up with such things. My friends girlfriend told me not to bother, she wasn't interested, but that Libra pride said "everyone is interested!"

If I thought better of myself, then I'd have better.



You know, a quite recent libra love interest did to me what the Scorpio did to you. The difference is when I found out that he already is dating someone I was incredibly disgusted. I thought of 2 things: my evil side wanted to expose him, not to his gf, but the whole class who thought he was single because he was portraying himself as single. The nice part of me realized that he's young and bound to be stupid so lesson learned and kept my distance. I didn't want to be the other girl and I didn't want a bf like that loser who was cheating on his gf. I guess you were barking on the wrong tree. Maybe it was the ego thing like wanting something because it was a challenge or that you couldn't accept that she didn't like you as much as you liked her. But anyways, you live and you learn. It sucks, but you don't want an attentionwhore of a woman like that: when things get tough, she starts seeking attention from other men by leading them on. Feel better!
Profile picture of aquarius09
Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 679 · Posts: 11841 · Topics: 2
Posted by Draumstafir
Posted by aquarius09
Aww you lil libmunchkin! The only time wasted is time not spent learning, and since every experience teaches us something, it wasn't wasted. How about you tell us what you learned about yourself from this relationship?



Posted by aquarius09
Rocky, I think we all know this is a one sided story and I think it's best that way because he's down right now. You can be the biggest jackass in real life, but on dxpnet, it's all about kissing the boo boos, dontcha think? Lol 😄



Aquarius in Sun vs in Moon is, like, amazing.
click to expand




I guess I'm partially amazing then? Oh yeah!! (h)
Profile picture of aquarius09
Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 679 · Posts: 11841 · Topics: 2
Posted by tiziani
That's cool, I'm simply saying not everything happens for a reason we're going to understand. A lot of things come down to crappy timing or circumstances. More often than our ego would like to believe. You're going to get hurt anyway by good relationships so there's no point running away from all that. You took a burn here. You'll take many more on the way. Red flags are for people that behave like they will never get hurt. You don't want to live your life in fear because of one Scorpio woman. Scorpios never buy into the Libran smile anyway. They want us to be dark from time to time to be able to trust us. You have friends, you have work. You'll be good.



I don't know who said this Tizi, but I think it goes with your post: "Fact is everyone is gonna hurt you at some point or another, you just gotta discover who is worth keeping". Obviously the quote is written much more differently, but I wrote it off the top of my head.
Profile picture of Draumstafir
Draumstafir
@Draumstafir
12 Years500+ PostsScorpio

Comments: 1 · Posts: 846 · Topics: 52
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Draumstafir
Posted by aquarius09
Aww you lil libmunchkin! The only time wasted is time not spent learning, and since every experience teaches us something, it wasn't wasted. How about you tell us what you learned about yourself from this relationship?



Posted by aquarius09
Rocky, I think we all know this is a one sided story and I think it's best that way because he's down right now. You can be the biggest jackass in real life, but on dxpnet, it's all about kissing the boo boos, dontcha think? Lol 😄



Aquarius in Sun vs in Moon is, like, amazing.



I guess I'm partially amazing then? Oh yeah!! (h)
click to expand




Unrelated, but I've been getting to know Aquarius lately through someone's Moon. Witty, but not much depth. Though just a singular person. And anyway those were amazing lol.

Grinch! Her other guy probably told her it was nuts to have you over since they're dating. But she's clingy and wanted you anyway. Watch that video; get a laugh. Sorry. And always looking forward to your advice, so don't let this get you down! 😄

You know I'm a Scorp with lot's of Libra in my chart. She's a player. You don't get played for thinking high or low of yourself. You get played because players are tricksters.
Profile picture of aquarius09
Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 679 · Posts: 11841 · Topics: 2
Posted by Draumstafir
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Draumstafir
Posted by aquarius09
Aww you lil libmunchkin! The only time wasted is time not spent learning, and since every experience teaches us something, it wasn't wasted. How about you tell us what you learned about yourself from this relationship?



Posted by aquarius09
Rocky, I think we all know this is a one sided story and I think it's best that way because he's down right now. You can be the biggest jackass in real life, but on dxpnet, it's all about kissing the boo boos, dontcha think? Lol 😄



Aquarius in Sun vs in Moon is, like, amazing.



I guess I'm partially amazing then? Oh yeah!! (h)



Unrelated, but I've been getting to know Aquarius lately through someone's Moon. Witty, but not much depth. Though just a singular person. And anyway those were amazing lol.
click to expand




I was gonna ask you why you are taking in riddles, but then I saw your profile. Your man sounds more libra than aqua. I have a friend with libra sun and aqua moon combo. He's a textbook libra, but he's gets really fiesty when he's angry and that is such an aqua moon trait because I get fiery as well when mad. The wit comes from aqua and the lack of depth would be the libra. lol no offense.
Profile picture of aquarius09
Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 679 · Posts: 11841 · Topics: 2
Posted by tiziani
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by tiziani
That's cool, I'm simply saying not everything happens for a reason we're going to understand. A lot of things come down to crappy timing or circumstances. More often than our ego would like to believe. You're going to get hurt anyway by good relationships so there's no point running away from all that. You took a burn here. You'll take many more on the way. Red flags are for people that behave like they will never get hurt. You don't want to live your life in fear because of one Scorpio woman. Scorpios never buy into the Libran smile anyway. They want us to be dark from time to time to be able to trust us. You have friends, you have work. You'll be good.



I don't know who said this Tizi, but I think it goes with your post: "Fact is everyone is gonna hurt you at some point or another, you just gotta discover who is worth keeping". Obviously the quote is written much more differently, but I wrote it off the top of my head.



Yeah my favourite variant of that so far that I've read was in a book recently "Fact 1. Most relationships that begin in a bar ends in tears. Fact 2. Most relationships end in tears"

click to expand




Very true! That is why I stay away from relationships. I'm a coward with matters of heart because I can't stand my own tears or feelings of emotion. Last I felt such a strong torrent of emotions was when I found out my ex cheated on me. I felt constipated because I wanted to cry, but tears wouldn't come out. I kept trying to cry and finally it happened. It poured that day 😭 I felt better, but still didn't like the feeling of bawling like a baby. I felt disgusted. I know! I'm a weirdo!
Profile picture of theGrinch
theGrinch
@theGrinch
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 265 · Topics: 19
Like I said, I could have remained friends and went with whatever it is we were. But let's be adult about it and have the conversation about the nature of the relationship. To block, then unblock me says to me "I want to make a point, but avoid the issue." Ok you win and I lose. Our "friendship" wasn't a joke to me, but I have to assume it was to her. As I've always said I'm a communication guy so if I need to stop or something to that effect all someone has to do is ask. But I don't play games plain and simple.

I made it clear, twice, where I stood. I was interested and when I found out she was seeing someone I still wanted to remain friends. I even went as far as to say hey if it's better I don't come that's fine and her answer was "no I want you to come". This much I do know about her and usually I looked past it, but she prefers that you be the one to leave/be at fault. I tend to think that's exactly what this was, me leave/be the bad guy. Done.

Thanks for the advice though guys, I do appreciate it!!
Profile picture of sweethearts
sweethearts
@sweethearts
19 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 163 · Posts: 6615 · Topics: 326
Agree with Rocky...you were chasing something that you couldn't have and therefore wanted it and for a year?? Sorry, know it hurts in the ebd but if you had gotten your way there would have been someone else hurting!

She was just boosting her ego by having someone wanting her so bad, makes her feel desirable...eventually someone else will come along and rock her world too!
Profile picture of theGrinch
theGrinch
@theGrinch
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 265 · Topics: 19
Ah you're definitely right. The year of a chase was really a failure on my part, had I taken the hint I would have known within three months that things were what they were. It was really a situation where I actually had to work, thus I got more attached. Not saying that I do have to try, but usually things are much easier then it was with her. But at the same time, I'd see those glimmers of false hope and think perhaps I was breaking through. Part of me thinks the blocking/unblocking was an attempt to see if I make a stink or get upset. Obviously, yes I am upset, but not in the sense that I said to anyone (other then here and to some friends offline) about it.

You are also correct that someone was going to get hurt either way, but it didn't have to be that way. I was fine with just being friends with her had she said that is what we were. She'll actually be the first friend I've written off ever.
Profile picture of rockyroadicecream
rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 1243 · Posts: 16617 · Topics: 170
Yeeah, I like to take the same approach with those whom I've crushed on. If they aren't interested, then I can manage to at least be friends.

Unfortunately, it's never really worked out like that. The guy usually had ulterior motives at some point, trying to manipulate that interest/once interest against me and they ended up being total trolls that had to be written off.
Profile picture of aquarius09
Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 679 · Posts: 11841 · Topics: 2
Posted by theGrinch
You're definitely right, but it tweaks the Libra in me to no avail! I can already see it, I'm going to be the bad guy in the situation and we all know that doesn't sit well! But you're right, I just need to do what's right for me and damn what others have to say about it. Thanks tiz!



You're on dxp for a reason. Rocky, myself and many other women have shed third person perspective on a libra and how they behave (sycophants, not wanting to be the bad guys and so forth). What you should get from this is that you need a backbone and it doesn't matter what another person thinks so long as your CONSCIENcE is clear. You know this story best because you lived it. You know what you did. You know what she did. Based on what you told us, she's a no good two timing attentionwhore. I'm not sayin to go out of libra character and cuss her off like per say a Scorpio or Aqua would do. You can remain your classy, graceful libra self and show her the exit the nice way.

My hero (Ali ibn Abu Talib) says to recognize the person in front of us through speech and actions. We all, including you, know the kind of girl she is. Thread carefully.
Profile picture of LilliLou
LilliLou
@LilliLou
12 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

Comments: 391 · Posts: 3020 · Topics: 28
Posted by Draumstafir
HUMOR FOR YOUZ!!!

http://www.ehow.com/video_4982945_end-relationship-scorpio.html



First up ^^ brilliant video Draumstafir 🙂

And TheGrinch- its not easy being green. There are certainly plenty of women who are immature little brats who want their cake and to eat it too, but I tend to agree with another post that I think she is insecure in her relationship and was relying on you to prop her up.
Scorps secrecy means that they'll keep something like an unstable love affair quiet rather than risk making it public and then having to backtrack later on (its partly ego). So I don't think she would've been deliberately pulling the wool over your eyes at first. I certainly did this kind of thing when younger.

But there comes a point where she felt guilty about how she was misleading you and fessed up. She probably hoped it wouldn't ever have to be said and agonised about how to say it, but in the end honesty won out.

Like Tiz said, this is your lucky escape! She sounds like a bit of hard work. She'll keep coming back for the comfort and ego boost if you let her, but I doubt she'll never give you a chance- I'm sorry if that seems a bit harsh- but you are a source of comfort, not excitement. Never forget that is how a scorp lady works... Once you are friend-zoned...

But as you seem like a lovely person you'll probably hold in there a bit longer, and might even find a place where you can truly be friends. But do what you gotta do, wallow a bit, and then get on with your life!

p.s. I'm currently wallowing too, if it helps to know you've got company on the 'woe is me' board 😉
Profile picture of LilliLou
LilliLou
@LilliLou
12 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

Comments: 391 · Posts: 3020 · Topics: 28
Posted by LilliLou
Posted by everevolvingepithet
So there's logic behind the actions of such spoiled brats? :-?



Gosh... I really hope she is in the more intuitive (*unevolved*) phase of her life- you remember the days when you used to think "how do I keep getting myself into this mess?" rather than being a part of a master plan.

Sometimes its hard to tell, and no excuses at all- totally agree that this kind of stunt/ immature behaviour ruins things for everyone involved!

Not logic, but nature perhaps?

Hopefully she'll see what she is doing and how destructive it is etc. but we all know that there are lots of people who are never enlightened... 😢
click to expand


Profile picture of theGrinch
theGrinch
@theGrinch
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 265 · Topics: 19
It really comes down to it's just been a crappy past two weeks and everything seemed to fall on top of me at once. I accept a good portion of the blame for the situation because I knew sometime ago that I should have just stopped the situation. As they told me in the Scorp board, I regulated myself as the backup sometime ago. I know exactly how it will play out as I've seen it once before and I've seen it with other friends of hers. My plan is to keep no contact and if she happens to ask (not holding my breath on that) then I'll explain where I'm coming from and leave it at that. She should already know, but she'll play dumb.

As always thanks for the advice guys! I've decided to start making some changes, which I'm not very good at, and see if things overall get any better.