Signs a Libra Man Might Be Cheating...

I love my Libra (VirGal here!) and have some concerns as to whether he might be cheating or not. We spend our weekends together, and he works nights. He calls several times during work and/or texts me. I don't initialize the conversations usually, because I know he's busy.

We've been together for just over a year and currently live together (5 months). My concerns are:

1. He insists on using condoms in a committed relationship (he's mentioned marriage!)
2. He's only interested in sex on average twice/month
3. PDA isn't initiated by him, but he never pulls away if I hold his hand or his arm
4. He only kisses passionately when it strikes him, and it's rare

At one year, we played a game to see how much we knew about each other. We each answered the same question about each other pulled from a pile of questions. He told me he's in love with me and he's crazy about me--I just don't see that in the "passion department." He's always said that a relationship has to be based on more than just sex, and I agree. I'm just wondering if he's starting to get restless already.

When we're out together, he says things that make me think he might be insecure although he's always accusing me of being insecure. (I was divorced after a 20-year marriage, because he found a younger "trophy wife"--yea, I might be a little insecure if you tease me about my little "pudge" in the middle.) I play along and am happy all the time, although his comments are hurtful. It just seems that they're coming from a place of insecurity.

To keep from rambling, I'll stop here. The 20-year marriage was to a Libra, and he cheated. I didn't know then what I know now, and I want to learn from my mistakes. I love this Libra with all my heart and don't want to lose him--we laugh all the time and have a great time together.

I just wonder about these things every day. An outsider might have a different opinion...

Posted by feby16aqua
I didn't see it in your post...have you spoken to him about your concerns?

About the condoms, I've asked him if there will be a time when we don't have to use them anymore and he's replied "yes". I didn't push to ask when that would be.

About the PDA, he says he never minds it when I hold on to him in public but he HATES it when I pull away. I've told him that I don't want to be clingy and if I feel he doesn't want me holding his arm or hand, I won't. He's actually gotten mad at my pulling away before.

About the lack of sex, he's always insisted that relationships based on sex don't last and that people who are oversexed are the ones who cheat. Except for work, we're together most of the time. He insists that this is different from other relationships where he spent weekends alone, because he didn't want to spend time with the other person because of the continued arguing--we never argue and laugh with each other all the time!

He has my pic as the screensaver on his phone and still acts totally in love. Like I said, he calls from work all the time just to see what I'm doing. He does sweet things for me to surprise me and makes me his priority. I just can't put my finger on what I'm feeling.

Posted by CluelessCancer
Twice a Month? Ya no Bueno.

So...what are you thinking, here?

Posted by duchessedenemours
The Leeb men I know aren't that into sex. Could be a low sex drive or something else. You'd really have to tell him about your concerns. He might not know that you are more into sex.

Thanks, @duchessedenemours...that makes me feel a little better. 🙂

Don't see any sign that he might be cheating on you from what you wrote.

I think that cause of your unfortunate past experience you have heightened fear of it, but don't let your past and your fears mislead you. Try to relax, be self confident and brave - not for him, not for anybody, but yourself.

I had a long time boyfriend and he had really low sex drive (and we were in our early 20s then). Some would say something is wrong with him, but to be honest, he simply enjoyed the closeness and affection between us then the sex itself. I was fine with that although I do have high sex drive, I wasn't missing anything between us. I have never questioned his fidelity cause of that.

@feby...he says he likes the affection but not all the time. I'm trying to find a happy medium.

@dolphinjoy...he is 41 and never married. Two long relationships (4 yrs and 7 yrs) where he said he thought he was in love but realized he wasn't.

His brother told me that he didn't think he'd ever been in love...until now. He said he acts differently around me than he has around any other woman before.

Do Libra men mention marriage and then take it back?

Posted by feby16aqua
Hi again, it seems like you have so much attention focused on him...but it's not the kind that is healthy and productive to your relationship. Your fears, your doubts. The best thing is to just be positive and love him like you are afraid to do. I know that once you have been hurt it is hard to trust again.

You're right! I'm going to enjoy every day and love him like I know how!!

what is the meaning of '' virgal '' ? 🙂 ... lol

Posted by muwik
what is the meaning of '' virgal '' ? 🙂 ... lol

LOL...really? Virgo Gal 🙂

Thanks for all the comments. I've come to this conclusion from your postings:

1. My fears, my doubts--this came from a wise poster to this thread, and I'm owning it!

2. Enjoy every day with my Libra. If things are meant to last, they will.

3. Love him like I know how. If it's too much, he'll say so!

4. Don't be a typical Virgo--I don't need to have so much PROOF that all is well all the time!

He's a wonderful guy, and I'm lucky! Being a "people pleaser" myself, I don't want to mess things up. Then I think, "Mess things up? If he wants to leave the relationship, let him. I had a full life before him and I'll certainly have a full life after him." He's stayed this long, and he's fully aware of my faults, shortcomings, and the things that make me absolutely irresistible!

Libras are great...but you knew that already! 🙂

I haven't even read the post. I did read your other post.

You are going to fuck this up if you don't stop looking for problems.

Knock it the fuck off already and enjoy the good and quit wishing for the bad. Wtf is your deal? :/

Posted by rockyroadicecream
I haven't even read the post. I did read your other post.

You are going to fuck this up if you don't stop looking for problems.

Knock it the fuck off already and enjoy the good and quit wishing for the bad. Wtf is your deal? :/

Really? That was harsh. If you HAD read this post you would have seen that I got this issue solved in my head and am POSITIVE about the relationship. Just had a question...I thought that's what this forum was about. Guess I'll just stay on the VIRGO page from now on.

Back the fuck off already!

i'm a virgal and a libra man "cheated" on me (i put that in quotations because the situation was complicated... technically he did not cheat, but he did lie). anyway not sure how your libra is, but his guilt was so transparent that he finally confessed a couple days after. maybe you'd be able to sense it if he really is cheating.

Truth be told, there is something missing for you two in the bedroom. It bothers him and eventually he will look for it elsewhere. In the meantime everything else is fine and good. I know because I was there. Not sure if you can do anything about it or will want to hear what I have said because I didn't either.

Posted by sweethearts
Truth be told, there is something missing for you two in the bedroom. It bothers him and eventually he will look for it elsewhere. In the meantime everything else is fine and good. I know because I was there. Not sure if you can do anything about it or will want to hear what I have said because I didn't either.

Thanks for your comments, Sweethearts. I've always wanted intimacy more than him. He said he just doesn't put that much emphasis on sex and prefers to build a relationship. He's sexually attracted to me, because he's constantly touching me (even in public, sometimes). Whatever the case, I'm just going to enjoy what we have and the time we have together. If he chooses to move on, she can have him. A committed man wouldn't move on!

Posted by BreezyVirgo

Posted by rockyroadicecream
I haven't even read the post. I did read your other post.

You are going to fuck this up if you don't stop looking for problems.

Knock it the fuck off already and enjoy the good and quit wishing for the bad. Wtf is your deal? :/

Really? That was harsh. If you HAD read this post you would have seen that I got this issue solved in my head and am POSITIVE about the relationship. Just had a question...I thought that's what this forum was about. Guess I'll just stay on the VIRGO page from now on.

Back the fuck off already!

click to expand

Didn't say there was an issue with you posting here, I just think you're overthinking and ruining a situation that may not have any problems.

If you've resolved it, fine. You clearly need to keep that estrogen in check as it seems that it's the only thing what will ruin your relationship at the moment.

You don't like someone calling you out on your crap or giving you an up front response to how you're handling things/what's going on, then don't post on the internet.

Thanks, Rocky! I respect that, and I appreciate your thoughts. I'm learning to trust again, and it's hard. You're right--keep the estrogen in check. We have an awesome time together, and I'm not going to ruin that. I'm a Virgo, so I'm naturally wound pretty tightly. His Libra is starting to help me calm down and go with the flow. I'm learning...it's a process.

I'm a fan of telling that part of the psyche to shut the hell up. Estrogen sucks like that.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
I'm a fan of telling that part of the psyche to shut the hell up. Estrogen sucks like that.

Ain't it a bitch?

I've really struggled this past year, and I know he's lied to me about being on a dating site on one occasion. I knew what was going on and told him, "I'm not quite as ignorant as you give me credit for." He was shocked! Long story short, he changed phone carriers and hasn't needed to be so protective of his phone since then. THAT was what caused my trust issues in this relationship.

Things are good, now. He is very transparent, and I know he's in love. We're meant to be, and it's gonna work. We're both committed for the long haul. Just tonight he told me, "I have no intention of going anywhere."

'Nuf said, I'd say...

I can't help but hear myself in your words.

Best of luck with your leeb, hope it all works for you but don't turn a blind eye on your gut feeling!

Posted by Lust
I think there's a trust issue on his part as well. He is not 100% sure yet, if you are the one for him, that's why he prefers to wear condom. He will never tell the truth since as libra, doesn't like to hurt anyone feeling. He enjoys your company (libra loves drama free and if you can make libra to laugh thats a plus). But libra also crave ideal romance & passion & intimate to the fullest. The tricky part for us (libra); we need to be impressed first, before we get crazily in love.

My recommendation to you: pick one thing that you are really good at & shine (any accomplishment?) Make him feel that you are the best that he can get. Also in addition, Man usually is very territorial, sex without condom is one of several way showing that she is his.

This may sounds like a lot of work. But if he is worth it, why not?!🙂 otherwise you set your standard.

BTW: libra is not the most faithful sign if he or she is not emotionally satisfy.

Thanks for your comments! He's told me numerous times that he's in love with me, he's crazy about me, and that he has no intention of going anywhere! He moved in with me 5 months ago, and we just passed the 1 year mark in our relationship. HE is the one who has mentioned marriage several times and hints about it, from time to time. I haven't pushed any issues and just enjoy the time we spend together.

He never pushed me for sex in the first place and just said "You'll let me know when you're ready." Maybe it's just a preference for me. In any case, he's keeping ME safe by using one.

In my comment below, I meant to say "Maybe it's just a preference for HIM" (to use a condom).

Posted by BreezyVirgo
@feby...he says he likes the affection but not all the time. I'm trying to find a happy medium.

@dolphinjoy...he is 41 and never married. Two long relationships (4 yrs and 7 yrs) where he said he thought he was in love but realized he wasn't.

His brother told me that he didn't think he'd ever been in love...until now. He said he acts differently around me than he has around any other woman before.

Do Libra men mention marriage and then take it back?

Has he ever admitted to cheating in the past?

LMAO. No you did not just say he only wants sex 2x a month. Girl bye. I'm with him on the condoms thing. Personally I prefer them until marriage. You can never be too careful I always say. I feel like you should be glad he's like that. Maybe my age shows a little bit right there, I'm younger and don't trust a soul in that department.

The minimal sex and lack of physical affection it seems is what's really bothering you. You crave passion and physical attention. Shoot if he's not gonna lay on the kisses and hugs and 4play, the least he could do is put it down in the bedroom on a regular. He's being a bit selfish, and if it were me I??d let him know too.

Also if you feel his jokes about your body is hurtful, then you MUST tell him. Don't let it fester. It makes no sense to laugh at a joke that's not funny, but actually hurtful. He's your man not a stranger, you should be able to tell him that without him feeling some type of way about it. And explain to him why it hurts, so he wont think your nuts. Our past tends to have minimal effects on us, and if no one else understands that; the person that's trying to build a future with you should.

In closing, he is not cheating, so stop that right now. He's just low in the affection department, so tell him he's has to give in order to receive. No one wants to be the one that always initiates. Just tell your boo to step it up.lol