Bill Gates

Rules You Won't Learn in School

Rule 1: Life is not fair — get used to it!

Is there an element of truth to this? Sure. Sometimes life isn't fair. But subscribing to this sort of philosophy is like living the old adage, —Life sucks and then you die.?? It is a pessimistic, sad, and destructive way to view the world, and your life. I certainly wouldn't want to view life in that manner, and I wouldn't my kids to either. I choose to focus on the GOOD.

Rule 2: The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

So let me understand this. We??re not to feel good about ourselves until we —accomplish something— Who decides what we need to accomplish before we feel good about ourselves? I didn't finish college. I didn't get a 1600 on my SATs. I haven't worked outside the home in over a decade. Should I not feel good about myself? Because I do, unabashedly. And it seems to me that in this day and age of bullying, drug addiction, eating disorders, and trying to fit in with the crowd that school kids?? self esteem is at a collective all-time LOW. I'm thinking that advising them to —accomplish?? something before they even think about feeling good about themselves isn't such a stellar plan. My kids do feel good about themselves, and because they feel good about themselves, they can —accomplish?? anything they put their minds to.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $ 60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Absolutely. You probably won't. But I don't want my kids to chasing a goal of x dollars a year, or of being a —vice president with a car phone.?? I want them to follow their path. Maybe it doesn't involve making $ 60,000 a year. Maybe they have no desire to be a vice president of anything. If they??re happy and growing and pursuing their own goals it won't matter if they??re making $ 10 an hour or six figures a year. If THEY are happy (and this is assuming they have ignored the advice in #2 and feel good about themselves even before they??ve —accomplished?? anything) then I will be happy as well.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

I have had great teachers, and I have had great bosses. I don't want my kids to fear somebody being —tough?? on them, but to approach each new opportunity, person, and experience with an open mind, and an open heart.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: They called it opportunity.

Who said it was beneath anyone's dignity? I worked at McDonald??s as a teen. I picked blueberries one summer. I??ve mucked horse stalls. I??ve cashiered more years than I care to count. I was grateful for every job that I had, and I??ve no doubt that my kids will feel the same way. I can't help but wonder why Mr Sykes has such a low opinion of today??s youth.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents?? fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Seriously, what is with all the negativity? My kids make mistakes (as do I) all the time. Never once have I seen them blame me. They learn from their mistakes just like their parents do. But then again, they have self-esteem. I??d imagine it??d be easier to blame someone else for your mistakes if you didn't feel good about yourself. So maybe if you scrapped number 2, you could scrap number 6 too.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they??ll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. *This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.*

Well, I do agree that school does not bear the slightest resemblance to real life, but not because of this example. Schools that are abolishing traditional testing and grading systems are actually getting closer to real life than those that are not. In real life, we??re allowed to use calculators, and we don't have to —show our work.?? In real life, employees get to ask questions, get feedback from bosses and coworkers, and often work as a team. In real life, people don't have to be graded and categorized and labeled, and in real life people get to CHOOSE what they study, what they pursue, and how and where and why they work.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

No, life is not divided into semesters. And no, you don't get summers off. What strikes me about this rule though is this: Most kids are in school, what, 6, 8 hours a day? Add to that the 2 hours of homework, and to that the hour of after school sports??_ When does Mr Sykes suggest that kids actually get their —own?? time to find themselves?

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

We??re big fans of Friends, so this one made us laugh too. It's laughable for other reasons though. The kids know that Friends is just a TV show. Even the 3 year old understands that Daddy goes to work every day, and she understands why.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you??ll end up working for one.

Kind of ironic that he's concerned about being nice to —nerds??, at the tail end of a list that's been anything but nice to children. But by all means, YES, be nice to nerds. Be nice to teachers. Be nice to jocks and geeks and popular kids and kids who smoke in between classes. Be nice to the people who get on your very last nerve and be nice to the people who make you want, with every fiber of your being, to be the exact opposite of —nice??. Not because you might be working for them one day, but because it's the right thing to do. And because — if you??ll ignore rules 1 through 10 — you??ll feel good about yourself, and positive about life, and will genuinely want to share it with others.