Grandma is dying I dont know how to let her go

Hi,

My Ma just told me that Grandma is about to pass away. She has altzheimer, the last time I saw her, she did not recognize she had a super hostile look on her face. Which is understandable considering that she cant see hear and remember. So I was a stranger who interrupted her sleep. I wish could just talk to her and say goodbye but that is not possible. If I even try to talk to her for the last time it might be bad for her. My uncle is very protective of her, because everybody would want to see her, which would not be a comfortable way to pass away. I figured, what if come to see her but not talk to her? We would both get what is good for us. But that would make me feel awkward maybe even morbid or make me think that I am a vulture. Tough topic i know, anybody who had to let go of grandma?

I'm sorry about your grandma. I'm strong believer that once they pass they get to see what you felt for them. Can you see her and say your goodbyes quietly in your mind instead of out loud so to not frighten her maybe.

No it’s not volture like to want to see your grams

I feel it’s a good middle ground

One of my grandmother's passed away several years ago. We thought she was going to pass away before she actually did so my dad(she was his mom) flew me and my sister and him out to Puerto Rico when she was in the hospital. She did not really recognize me, I think she may have recognized my sister which kind of hurt lol but I knew she had dementia or alzthimers. We didn't really do much talking with her. It was just kind of watching her and talking among ourselves. She ended up dying a few months later but we had already gone to see her to say goodbye.

I have been in the position of not being able to say goodbye to someone before they die and it sucks. I recommend going to see her no matter what other family members say. She is your grandma and have the right to say goodbye. Even if you don't say anything and just sit there with her. You will feel better about it instead of regretting not seeing her before she dies.

So sorry to hear this, man. I lost both my grandparents as a young child. It didn't have no affect on me at the time being such a small young boy like how I'm affected by it now as an adult.

Simply, go be with your grandma. You won’t forgive yourself knowing you had the opportunity to be with her one last time and chose not to.

That’s really hard. I’m sorry…. You could always just go in and offer to read to her at least once? Even if she doesn’t recognize you, maybe it will comfort you both. That or listen to music with her, whatever she enjoys. You could just do it together and you could just be?

sorry to hear that.

lost my grandaunt and dad this year, was pretty rough. but i like to think death's a kindness sometimes. like my grandaunt started to feel haunted by the ghost of my granduncle and she became bedridden. my dad pretty much the same.

I chose not to go see my gramma when she was in the hospital on all sorts of machines because I didn't want to see her like that. I wanted to remember her as the gramma I grew up with not the one laying in a hospital bed..

Was sort of forced to go see my mom last year while she was in the hospital hooked up to all the things n I hated it. I mean, obviously but yeah..

I rambled, shit. If you don't mind seeing a loved one like that then go, you'll be mad at yourself if you don't at least try.

I think you should go see your Grams if that is what's in your heart. Your uncle means well but for all he knows she migh realize that her precious grandson's presence is in the room watching out for her. My aunt passed away from Alzheimer's a few years ago and it's very sad.

Posted by Parkourler

Hi,

My Ma just told me that Grandma is about to pass away. She has altzheimer, the last time I saw her, she did not recognize she had a super hostile look on her face. Which is understandable considering that she cant see hear and remember. So I was a stranger who interrupted her sleep. I wish could just talk to her and say goodbye but that is not possible. If I even try to talk to her for the last time it might be bad for her. My uncle is very protective of her, because everybody would want to see her, which would not be a comfortable way to pass away. I figured, what if come to see her but not talk to her? We would both get what is good for us. But that would make me feel awkward maybe even morbid or make me think that I am a vulture. Tough topic i know, anybody who had to let go of grandma?

A question for you. Wether she remembers you or not doesn't change your feelings and who she is to you correct?

At the end of the day, it's about having a last conversation with your grandma before she moves on.

There is a movie called "50 first dates". Give it a go before you go visit.

Posted by roti

Simply, go be with your grandma. You won’t forgive yourself knowing you had the opportunity to be with her one last time and chose not to.

i agree...😢