Two women are sitting together quietly, minding their own business.
Joke of the Year:
haw haw haw
😛
(Lol, I really laughed though, don't tell anyone)
(Lol, I really laughed though, don't tell anyone)
I'm not sure it's possible. It would already be a flawed experiment because you know the purpose and would be trying. I still think it wouldn't work though 🙂
Why are politically incorrect jokes so funny?
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
Why does it take 100 million sperms to fertilize one egg?
Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."
Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."
😛
Did you know there are female hormones in beer?
If you drink too much it makes you talk a lot and drive horrible.
If you drink too much it makes you talk a lot and drive horrible.
^^ Lol @ that response.
Why don't women need a watch?
There's a clock on the stove.
Why don't women need a watch?
There's a clock on the stove.
?? What are you "eww"ing?
Oh I know. A lot of these are wrong/ mean/ whatever, but they still make me laugh. For example...
Why do they call it PMS?
Cause mad cow disease was already taken.
or
Why are womens feet so small?
So they can stand closer to the stove.
Why do they call it PMS?
Cause mad cow disease was already taken.
or
Why are womens feet so small?
So they can stand closer to the stove.
Go ahead and tell some man jokes, they are funny too.
Here are some response to common pick up lines for you ladies:
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?v Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Here are some response to common pick up lines for you ladies:
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?v Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Posted by TGPosted by LibraSid
Two women are sitting together quietly, minding their own business.
It happened to me once. I swear it did!click to expand
yeah but for how long?
No jokes but here are some Man Facts for you...
Why It's GREAT To Be A Guy...
- Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
- Your orgasms are real. Always.
- Your last name stays put.
- The garage is all yours.
- Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
- Wedding plans take care of themselves.
- You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every night.
- Chocolate is just another snack.
- You can be president.
- You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
- Foreplay is optional.
- You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
- Car mechanics tell you the truth.
- You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
- The world is your urinal.
- Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
- You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
- Same work... more pay.
- Wrinkles add character.
- You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
- Wedding Dress $ 2000; Tux rental $ 100.
- If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
- People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
- Princess Di's death was just another obituary.
- The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
- New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
- Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
- Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
- Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
- One mood, all the time.
Why It's GREAT To Be A Guy...
- Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
- Your orgasms are real. Always.
- Your last name stays put.
- The garage is all yours.
- Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
- Wedding plans take care of themselves.
- You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every night.
- Chocolate is just another snack.
- You can be president.
- You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
- Foreplay is optional.
- You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
- Car mechanics tell you the truth.
- You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
- The world is your urinal.
- Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
- You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
- Same work... more pay.
- Wrinkles add character.
- You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
- Wedding Dress $ 2000; Tux rental $ 100.
- If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
- People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
- Princess Di's death was just another obituary.
- The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
- New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
- Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
- Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
- Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
- One mood, all the time.
Posted by Sultanaa
But seems like you copied the jokes from the same page I stumbled upon.
Yeah I saw that men are like list, some good ones in there.
Posted by Sultanaa
(mad cow disease? wtf? seriously?.... is that even a joke—)click to expand
I was 1/2 joking 😛
What do you do when the dish washer isn't working?
Slap her on the ass and tell her to get to work.
Slap her on the ass and tell her to get to work.
Posted by Sultanaa
WOW all done. Man this is sooooo easy. Still time for some more puter and a nap..... Women must complain about house work just to make us guys think they're working.
Wish I was a chick !
No kidding! This guy has it figured out.
Q. Why do men break wind more than women?
A. Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
A. Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
Q: Why are hurricanes normally named after women?
A: When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.
A: When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
Posted by TG
Omg, these are hilarious! The more stupid and clich? - the funnier!!
http://www.jokesaboutmen.net/men_joke_two.html
Haha, I like this one.
Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?
So men can understand them.
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
8 things you'll never hear a woman say...
8. What do you mean today's our anniversary?
7. Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather just watch TV.
6. Ohh, this diamond is way to big!
5. Can our relationship get a little more physical? I'm tired of being 'just friends'
4. Honey, does this outfit make my butt look too small?
3. Aww, don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out how to get there.
2. I don't care if it's on sale, 300 dollars is way to much for a designer dress.
1. Hey, pull my finger!
8. What do you mean today's our anniversary?
7. Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather just watch TV.
6. Ohh, this diamond is way to big!
5. Can our relationship get a little more physical? I'm tired of being 'just friends'
4. Honey, does this outfit make my butt look too small?
3. Aww, don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out how to get there.
2. I don't care if it's on sale, 300 dollars is way to much for a designer dress.
1. Hey, pull my finger!
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and noticed that everybody was staring at me....
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and noticed that everybody was staring at me....
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
Oooo I like that "Because I'm a Man" list. Pretty accurate.
Posted by CappyyLuv30
Oh man, anyone remember those Real Men of Genius commercials?? They just randomly came to mind.
I loved those commercials, they are hilarious.
This is one of my favorites
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
Okay, I know these jokes are stupid but they crack me up... - Chuck Norris is the only person to have ever beaten a b
It takes seven seconds for food to pass from the mouth to the stomach. A human hair can hold 3kg The length of the pen
...your balls.. As some of you may know, I'm a senior in nursing school, doing my rotation in the OR. Yesterday I got to
Out of my butt. Domino, and i may continue our LOL-full banter, but (HARRY POTTER) *captain talks too little* has tri
I had this for a speech topic once, and I really liked it. Pick one event from the year or day (if you wish) you wer
Arguing with a Pisces who is hiding his/her emotions is akin to slowly jamming hat pins dipped in hot sauce into your ey
My eyes feel weird, but at least they smell good. Yup, texted that to my Libra ex last night. We were hanging out,
Strange Phenomenon: Sun rises two days early in Greenland? The sun has arrived two days early in Greenland according
Do you suppose she bumps into things? Poor bubby.
I'm a little late in seeing this movie, but it was so cute!!!! I loved it. The little old man is totally a Capricorn
I'll Start, actually I have a couple.... 1) Some People Want A Happy Ending , I Want An Awesome Story...2) Never Let An
Why are the pictures on dxp stretched out so wide? all my images are out of proportion no matter how many times I've tr
Have you ever Urbandictionary-ed your name? Funny shit/ DO IT :D Mine: 1. Briana the most aweso
CHERAW, SC - A man is being airlifted to the Richland hospital after Police said his girlfriend shot him. The incide
Joke thread.. add your own.... ;)
I was watching this movie last night, The Happening. And omg I was thinking 'its Elle!' Zooey Deschanel is your dopplega
the best :)
a whore or a kip that wasn't a man whore. i'm sure it's not the case for all of them, but in my situation, it has been
hi ya'll, I am new here, but something drew me here. I have posted 3 times here,today, but I think I did it wrong, or so