Texts from last night

"My eyes feel weird, but at least they smell good."

Yup, texted that to my Libra ex last night. We were hanging out, flirting a bit, getting cozy. At some point i get up to get another beer and i pass his Febreze spray. I wanted to know what it smelled like so i leaned down to give it a sniff...not realizing it had a motion sensor. PSHHHHHHH!! That crap sprayed directly into my eyes from about two inches away! My ex blew up laughing! Yeah, that kinda ruined the mood.😢

Man, talk about feeling like a jackass!

I prefer to look at it as an excercise in humility. At least thats what i keep telling myself.😄

I'm bummed they discontinued the mint spray. That way my eyes were inflamed, yet cool at the same time. 😉

Hehe, minty fresh eyeballs with a dash of hightened senses! Sounds like a great commercial tagline if I ever heard one!

Glad you found the humor in it, I laughed when I read it.

Hehe, thats awesome. You ever consider trying out for that show Wipeout?!?

I actually think that could have been a kickass way of meeting the four guys! Excellent, memorable entrance! Great story to tell the grandkids in the future.😄

Omg that would have been priceless!

Funny story and funny text! It almost sounds like it could be an autocorrect mistake.

There's this website about those...damnyouautocorrect.com

These are pretty funny...

LOL! I got a text a few months ago which was supposed to give me directions to a hotel in Washington DC and my friend wrote 'After you pass the whorehouse make a left'. He quickly wrote me again "WHITEHOUSE! Not whorehouse!"

Freudian slip? 😄

LMAO! I just checked out that website! The BEST part is the reactions after the screw up!

Posted by venusianbull
Freudian slip? 😄

DOH! 😉

These autocorrect things are hilarious. What kind of pervert designed it?

LOL Scarred for life. ^

I seriously want to marry that website I love it so much.

No, Sultanaa. I don't smell it anymore. I think I'm going back for another squirt tonight. 😉

LOL!! Freshen up the peepers again.

Yeah, they're feeling...well...not so fresh. 😄

LMAO Now let's walk hand in hand by the ocean and have that talk....

LMAO GO DAD!

These are great. This is the way my family jokes with each other (I hope these people are just messing with each other...)

Posted by venusianbull
LMAO Now let's walk hand in hand by the ocean and have that talk....

That is tooooooo funny! I can totally picture it. Slowing walking on the beach as the water comes in and covers our feet. I'm feeling all awkward, embarassed, hesitating....you putting your arm around me ensuring me that you understand how I feel because YOU TOO have had that not so fresh feeling. LOL!

ROFLMAO That is exactly it. The gulls careening and calling overhead, the sunset like a gorgeous hombre of amazing technicolor. Me gently pulling you into my web of empathetic concern. And extending to you the knowledge I possess. That I am touched by your problem and want to educate you on correcting it.

LOLOLOL

Oh Lord Libra, LOL My family is just as crazy. We consider sarcasm an art form. And getting one over on each other is just IT.

😄

ROFLMFAO! There we are! Two women, having a very touching moment.

LMAO Had to play it again..."Sure do!"

Right?!? She doesn't skip a beat! It's like she was DYING to have this conversation!

*nervous lilt to voice* Mom? I've been kinda stanking lately, can you PLEASE tell me..?! Pleeeeease? *big ol puppy eyes* Oh I am laughing SO hard right now.

Oh dear, still giggling. They'd probably lock us up and throw away the key if we were sitting somewhere having a conversation.

LOOOOOOOOOOOL! Check out the fresh flowers falling on the boxes! And the mom (with the 80's hair style ) seems to almost molest her daughter at the very end tugging on her hair! Who directed this commercial?!?

I have a sneaking suspicion it was a man. No woman would ever come up with that script. Ours would be more like:

Daughter: Mom? This is embarrassing but, you ever smell off below deck?

Mom: Have you tried soap my darling?

Daughter: Be serious Mom, and take your estrogen..I mean it. What do you do?

Mom: Well usually I tell your father to eat more pineapple.

Daughter: *gags* You're so gross Mom, I don't need to hear that.

Mom: *laughing* Well you ASKED.

Oh wait...was that me? *looking innocent*

"Mom: Well usually I tell your father to eat more pineapple." - EXCELLENT!

*curtsy* 😉

Yes...please...join us on our judgement free walk and share your not so fresh experiences.

Oooh! I have Gemini rising!

Posted by Sultanaa

we want more!!
we WANT more!!
WE WANT more!!!
WE WANT MOREE!!!

Is this like randomly yelling a word then speaking the next?

I don't UNDERSTAND why someone WOULD do SUCH thing?!

I didn't want to hog the thread amusing myself 🙂

My mom would totally do this...

and I actually said this to my mom a few months ago before surgery when I called her after a Dr appointment, haha... it should be, Mom: then Me:

Posted by LibraSid

LOL

LOL Your mother ROCKS Libra. Sounds like something I'd do. 😈

Awwwww..*scooting over for Sultannaa*. We can all join hands and share our experiences.

LOL!! I shut that crap off FAST on my phone. Irritates me to no end.