MATCH.COM

—Love is complicated, match is simple.??

Uh huh..... suuuuuuure.

Let's swap war stories from Match.com shall we soldiers—??



I've got some stellar ones, but I'll hold on to them for a bit. 😄

http://media.photobucket.com/image/popcorn/Hikori90/Hero Jae Joong/jaejoong_popcorn.gif?o=7" target="_blank">

F

Posted by DeadRingerr

Posted by DazedScorp
what's cute is that you've been gone for 3 days, yet noone really gave a fuck.

Was it 3 days?

click to expand

lmao


how about you give this thread a kick off and tell your stories gemsra 😉

Ok..... I'm gonna kick this off.

So a couple years ago I am talking back and forth with this HOT sounding English dude. HOT sounding, of course, because he looks damn fine in his pictures and we're also speaking on the phone.

We're trying to arrange a date, but at the time I was HEAVY style s traveling for work and I was also performing in a play on the weekends so I was SUPERS busy. Anyhaps, dude says, "How about next Sunday?" I know I am free and I say of course, duh sauce, hells yes. Then.... as I go to put it into my calendar I see that next Sunday is...... Valentines Day.

Fuck.My.Life.

I tell him, "Dude, I don't know about you, I know about me though and I know about peeps in general.... Valentine's Day is most definitely NOT the proper time for a first date. Even if we go into it with the best of intentions it's the atmosphere in the end that is laden with expectations and rose petals." He goes on to say he will be the perfect gentleman and it will be fun and we can make it all about our time and not about Valentine's Day..... blah, blah, blah.

I agree. Because I am a masochist.

Soooooo...... we decide to meet at one of my favorite wine bars here in town. I walk in and the place reeks of scented candles, fresh cut roses and quiet desperation. And then.... there he is. He is stunningly tall, well dressed and just as fucking hot as I had hoped. He kisses me on the cheek and pulls out my chair. My head spins.

He then hands me some chocolates. Now my profile at the time said something about me liking chocolate.... I believe it said, "Women are not that complicated. We just want you to give us chocolate and tell us we're pretty." Anyhoo, he hands me these chocolates. They are in a little package wrapped in cellophane on a plastic tray.... just like you'd get from a gas station. A gas station. I'd rather you didn't dude, but ok, thanks anyway. So, I ate one of them and it tasted like a brown crayon. I smile politely and say thank you anyway. This omen should have prepared me, but noooooo I continue on with the evening.

So we order one of my favorite bottles of Petite Syrah and a fabulous cheese plate. Fancy wine, fancy cheese, candles and roses everywhere (just reminding you of the situation and the ambiance). We're talking about normal things you would talk about on a first date. Then.... Then..... He leans over and kisses me softly on the lips. I melt.

I'm sitting there thinking about what a fabulous Valentine's Day I am

having. I am thinking about how wonderful this man is and how right he was that we could go out and put all the Valentine's Day expectations aside and get to know one another. And then...

He leans across and says the following: "Callista, I am having such a wonderful time getting to know you. You are smart and beautiful and an absolute pleasure to chat with (don't forget this charmer is saying all of this in his sexy ass English accent.... I FUCKNG LOVE ACCENTS). However, I really want to be honest with you darling, I'm looking for my next submissive."

Gulp. I look around.... yep, it's still Valentine's Day. Romance in the air.

Ummmmn, what? Really?

I quietly recover and ask him if he means someone who'll wash his laundry and make his lunches or if he means ball gags. Which way are we going here? He smiles and says, "Option 2. Ball gags." I quietly gather my purse etc. and kiss him on the cheek and excuse myself. "Thank you for a wonderful evening darling, but I don't think this is a match."

^AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

OMG hahaha!

Gems are supposed to be open minded 😛

Posted by DazedScorp
I can see how being around you might make him feel he's in a war like environment fighting for his life and sanity.

I, like, love you.

I have never been on a dating site. Sounds interesting though.

Posted by DazedScorp

Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal

Posted by DazedScorp
I can see how being around you might make him feel he's in a war like environment fighting for his life and sanity.

I, like, love you.

Ruh roh, another gemmy crush?

click to expand

Nah, I just love it when you're right on point.

Posted by DazedScorp
I like to think I'm pretty good at hitting the spot.

Wrong thread killer, there's plenty of others currently discussing "hitting the spot".

LOL.... cuz it's tooooo hot! 😄

interesting...

Posted by blueribbons

Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
This thread was so much cooler when it was talking smack about a certain e-relationship.

which reminds me... how was the latest match.com date from the other day?

was it like the dominant guy from before?

click to expand

Okie dokie..... so I had a match.com date over the weekend. I wish I could tell you guys his sign but unfortunately he chose "I don't believe in astrology" rather than to display his sign. Fucker. Also, I didn't think to ask his birthday. Stoopid.

Anyhaps, the dude isn't as hot as I'd like, but I'm currently conducting this experiment. I've decided I'd date XYs slightly less attractive in hopes of increasing awesome personalities, better jobs, more stability..... and he shows up in corduroy.

Corduroy. A vest and matching jacket. CORDUROY. Even better still, he's got a booger in his nose. Gross.

Anyway, I look past these small details and put a big smile on my face. I, of course, look HOT. 🙂

So we're at the charity dinner for the Art Festival and try as I might I cannot pay attention when dude is talking. I ask questions and sip champagne and by the time I swallow I've already forgotten what we were talking about. I take full responsibility for this, and I am actively trying to fix it, but I don't know..... maybe I was tired? I must have seemed like a major douchebagger, thank God I wasn't the one wearing corduroy then it would have been definite... I WAS THE WORST DATE EVER.

So this goes on for two hours. TWO. And then we have a well timed fake on both our parts. He says he's sorry but he's still hungover from smoking too many cigarettes the night before. Ummn, yeah ok. Anyway, I agree that the time is right to leave. So we do, but I hug him politely good bye at the entrance to the event and then go back inside. Hey, the magic show is just about to start!

Here's the thing though.... I HATE when men do this.... He sets a second date that I'm pretty sure we both know will never happen. So lame.

Capricorn?

if I wasn't such a computer dork I would send you a pic of the looooooooooser with the photo of his head (bad head) adorned with a pair of ladies feet. Assume it was a lady. This is his headline pic.

Posted by ReallyNiceAriesPerson
if I wasn't such a computer dork I would send you a pic of the looooooooooser with the photo of his head (bad head) adorned with a pair of ladies feet. Assume it was a lady. This is his headline pic.

The feck is jew talkin bout Willis? Is that in English?

or...

"...I am in a relationship situation that for reasons I can't go into, I currently cannot change. It is devoid of any stimulation or intimacy so I am looking for someone to share those things with me. Ideally you would be in a similar situation or in an independent situation not to want a full time relationship...."

Well get off this relationship site - it is for people looking for the real thing.
Go see a hooker - help the economy.
Or grow a pair and get divorced. Wanker.

Oh, and I guess I should have stated that not only was it corduroy..... we're in Houston. Houston, Texas people. It was 90 degrees out.

Posted by MidniteStar

Posted by ellessque
"I wish I could tell you guys his sign but unfortunately he chose "I don't believe in astrology" rather than to display his sign. Fucker."

lmao

I hate when they choose that option! Makes me lose all interest right then and there.

click to expand

I like the ones that say "I am a Sagittarius but it doesn't matter".....oooh but it does matter!! Delete

Let's do this shit Dazed. You + Me + Wine. Let's make some bad decisions.

Of course, I travel through AK from time to time. There's some oil burizness in El Dorado.

@GemsRaGalsBestPal, believe it or not I can tell a person's sign by just having a 10 minute conversation with them. earth signs are alittle harder, you have to look into the physical features much more. With a little practice and research your bound to pinpoint anyone's sign darling.

Highlander, that's sweet and all, but I couldn't pay attention to anything coming out of dudes mouth much less try to figure out his sign. This could possibly have been our conversation....

Me - "So you enjoy your job?"
(I'm already drifting away, watching people walking by, thinking about the taste of my champagne, counting sheep, etc)

Him - "Yes, I love murdering people I find it very satisfying. I find that when I do it with a purple people eater it increases maximum pleasure. Then I get into my tiny clown car and drive to Salt Lake City."

Me - "Hmmmn, what? Oh yes, your job sounds delightful."

?? how is it again he was going to get you in bed with a line like that—
i bet you drove home drunk as fuck lol.

................ (sigh) you guys....

Posted by highlander
?? how is it again he was going to get you in bed with a line like that—
i bet you drove home drunk as fuck lol.

I'm exaggerating. I'm sure he said things like, "I find that developing medical software is thoroughly fulfilling". I'm just making a joke about how not closely I was listening to him.

Also, I don't drink and drive.... lost someone to a drunk driver.

I didn't get drunk on the date, but after it was over.... fuck yes. I went with a girlfriend to SIX bars. SIX. Ridic. Got wasted, handed out my number like it was going out of style . Danced like a dirty whore. Yeah, I made sure everyone knew I was a sexy badass date. Everyone but him, lol!

Corduroy? ......... we don't do that in D Town at least I don't wtf??. good story though.🙂

Posted by ellessque

Posted by ReallyNiceAriesPerson
I like the ones that say "I am a Sagittarius but it doesn't matter".....oooh but it does matter!! Delete

LMAO...i'm so guilty of THIS. not sag in particular.

....and if they don't have a sign specified, they get the deathcon stare at their profile with a quick swift swipe to the back button. 😛

click to expand

lol at the deathcon stare!
I am going to do this now - usually I go straight to the Jedi "I am not the Aries you are looking for. Move along. Move along."

I knew you in particular would enjoy that one Elle. Now get your ass down here so we can go out together! I'll keep you in stitches all night.

You know what else? Something just came to me..... When I was defending my ability to be a big whore in the Casual Sex thread I should changed my avi to this....

http://media.photobucket.com/image/fuck on the first date/AMIERETTO/fuckonfirstdate.jpg?o=0" target="_blank">

*shoulda


and yes, I am posting to correct my improper grammar with an improper word. yes, yes, I am doing that.

...................

Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
Corduroy. A vest and matching jacket. CORDUROY. Even better still, he's got a booger in his nose. Gross.

OMG LOL!

How did you keep yourself from staring at that booger and not laughing? Did it cling on for dear life with every breath he took or did it eventually fling itself from his nose?

Ewwww. I tried to ignore it. Totally gross.

Going through a cemetery? Nope.

Soooooo far I've only taken the cemetery off the table, but keep teasing me.....

Is there an audience? There should be an audience.

skip the clown, the ghetto building, and the cemetary. how about on a beach deck in malaga spain, with some sexual Champagne, sounds of the nightly brisk waves, some smooth french music being played from a balcony of a beach front property, and huddling up in Pancho villa blanket, while everyone may or maynot be watching and wondering what may going on beneath it.

Boys, boys.... CARRY ON! 🙂

I must say though..... Dazed, you've some stiff competition.....

Well Gem looks like you have a foursome option. use protection (goggles)😛

I think someone on here reminds me of arieslovesavirgo ehehehhe. Anyone remember her?

where's GemsR?

Posted by ReallyNiceAriesPerson
where's GemsR?

*poke, poke*

Ok??_this dude sends me an email thing

He's not my type and because I am not here to piss around with anyone's feelings or bullshit anyone or waste their time or play games etc etc — OR go on pointless dates so I can get on DXP and spin them into colorful yarns for everyone (tempting though it sounds??_.) I send a quick rejection email??_.


—Thanks for your email however I am not your type.
You look very handsome your photo and I am sure it won't be long before you are off this stupid dating site.

Have a great day, take care
RNAP??



So I am thinking he will read my email and move on (as I am always being told to do.)


So in reply to my rejection letter I get:

—Hi Rnap,

How are you? :-)
Thanks for the lovely email, I like a woman than can be upfront at time (s ?spelling)..
Flattery with me will always get you brownie points 😉 lol


I just thought I'd write back to you to say hi
and tell you know more about me...yada yada yada

I'm a bit like you... Would be nice to meet someone that is just plan happy, has a sense of humour as I definitely do.. It would be nice to be with a partner that's genuine & loyal & yes sexy is always good..... so agree with you there..... Love having a good laugh and always up for a nice chat!

Hey was thinking would be nice to maybe have a chat one night if you like...
We could swap numbers mine is xxxx xxxx and take it from there..
It's always good to put a voice to a profile and smiles :-)

Looking forward to hearing from you Rnap??


What did I do wrong————?? I now pass this along to our panel of judges

Should I have simply ignored him? Is that the required on line etiquette?

Posted by everevolvingepithet
lmao ! Get your coat love, you've pulled ! 🙂

ya goose!!
I told him to bugger off, so he goes on with it. If I did it to him I would be one of 'those crazy stalker chicks'.
It's OK for a guy cos he is just being assertive or going for it (or whatever it is called in guy language!)

...or he is a retard..... or doesn't read

I have few admirers and quite like it that way. A select and august group.



I think you have only "pulled" if it was the object of your desire, haven't you?

Posted by everevolvingepithet
Yep, I was just taking the piss a bit 🙂
lmao, he does seem a bit duurrr given that you were trying to let him down gently.

I liked the "curt come on" bit....have ever you tried that? Successfully? I think we should run some tests.