Parenting and feeling unappreciated

Profile picture of mzmee
PinkySagLove
@mzmee
19 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1480 · Topics: 46
Posted by Rindaroo
Posted by mzmee
Any parents feel so overwhelmed to the point where they can say if they started life all over they wouldn't have children?

I was told this today and being the emotionally awkward fuck that I am, didn't have good advice or calming words. I just bussed out some ice cream and brownies and offered her a spoon.



Such a horrible friend I am...
Well there are times, but overall I can't imagine life without my kids ( one adult & one almost).

How old are the kids? Sometimes it is overwhelming. Some people are made for it, and some not so much. Ice cream & brownies seems appropriate ?
click to expand

She has teenagers and a pre teen. I'm scared because she tells me all the horror stories. I give advice based on how I was as a teen. Other than that, I don't know much else.

Profile picture of mzmee
PinkySagLove
@mzmee
19 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1480 · Topics: 46
Posted by LePetitFisk
Let me start with prefacing I'm in some type of mood today.

A coworker was talking (more like complaining) about her college kid today and her being home. Sometimes my mouth functions faster than my brain and just blurted out "So you have a kid just so you can wait for them to move out?"

At least you gave your friend ice cream.

🙂
You'd be surprised at how many people rush their child's life away just so they can hand them their walking papers at 18. 18— I was lost as fuck at 18. Put me out and I'm sleeping on the porch.

Profile picture of Gemitati
Gemitati
@Gemitati
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 2057 · Posts: 38091 · Topics: 1026
Posted by mzmee
Posted by Rindaroo
Posted by mzmee
Any parents feel so overwhelmed to the point where they can say if they started life all over they wouldn't have children?

I was told this today and being the emotionally awkward fuck that I am, didn't have good advice or calming words. I just bussed out some ice cream and brownies and offered her a spoon.



Such a horrible friend I am...
Well there are times, but overall I can't imagine life without my kids ( one adult & one almost).

How old are the kids? Sometimes it is overwhelming. Some people are made for it, and some not so much. Ice cream & brownies seems appropriate ?
She has teenagers and a pre teen. I'm scared because she tells me all the horror stories. I give advice based on how I was as a teen. Other than that, I don't know much else.

click to expand

What @effervescent said...lol
Profile picture of Deedee86
Deedee86
@Deedee86
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 3 · Posts: 3225 · Topics: 93
Posted by mzmee
Posted by Rindaroo
Posted by mzmee
Any parents feel so overwhelmed to the point where they can say if they started life all over they wouldn't have children?

I was told this today and being the emotionally awkward fuck that I am, didn't have good advice or calming words. I just bussed out some ice cream and brownies and offered her a spoon.



Such a horrible friend I am...
Well there are times, but overall I can't imagine life without my kids ( one adult & one almost).

How old are the kids? Sometimes it is overwhelming. Some people are made for it, and some not so much. Ice cream & brownies seems appropriate ?
She has teenagers and a pre teen. I'm scared because she tells me all the horror stories. I give advice based on how I was as a teen. Other than that, I don't know much else.

click to expand


I have 2 teenagers. It's trying. There are times when I really don't like them very much. The key is to always love them.

And don't let them walk all over you. If they can, they will eat you alive.

And call them out when they are acting like assholes. Remind them that they cannot treat people like that.

A parent's job is to raise decent adults, not overgrown manchildren who mooch off you forever.



Profile picture of LadyNeptune
LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 11076 · Posts: 35718 · Topics: 110
Posted by mzmee
Any parents feel so overwhelmed to the point where they can say if they started life all over they wouldn't have children?

I was told this today and being the emotionally awkward fuck that I am, didn't have good advice or calming words. I just bussed out some ice cream and brownies and offered her a spoon.



Such a horrible friend I am...
Sometimes one just needs a safe space to vent without judgement. You gave her ice cream too! You did good.
Profile picture of mzmee
PinkySagLove
@mzmee
19 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1480 · Topics: 46
Posted by Rindaroo
Posted by mzmee
Posted by Rindaroo
Posted by mzmee
Any parents feel so overwhelmed to the point where they can say if they started life all over they wouldn't have children?

I was told this today and being the emotionally awkward fuck that I am, didn't have good advice or calming words. I just bussed out some ice cream and brownies and offered her a spoon.



Such a horrible friend I am...
Well there are times, but overall I can't imagine life without my kids ( one adult & one almost).

How old are the kids? Sometimes it is overwhelming. Some people are made for it, and some not so much. Ice cream & brownies seems appropriate ?
She has teenagers and a pre teen. I'm scared because she tells me all the horror stories. I give advice based on how I was as a teen. Other than that, I don't know much else.





Lol. Well it's a different world these days for teens. My 16 yo went through hell from about 12-15. But is doing great now. She's a good kid 🙂 my 21 yo ? But they are both sweet & good kids not necessarily compliant though. I have found listening to them & being there for them makes a big difference no matter if you agree with them or not. Counseling did wonders for my daughter too.

click to expand

I'll try to suggest this. She works her fingers to the bone to provide. Father isn't in the pic it's just her. When he does come in the picture, he's just the fun parent, so he doesn't help with discipline.

When she's at work, they're here sometimes and I try to talk to them. They're pretty good when around me(it's a front, I know) but I let them air out their grievances and it all surrounds what dad allows them to do vs what she doesn't allow them to get away with.

He's not helping the situation at all. Bad grades, he gets them high priced shoes. Cut up in school, he gets more high priced shoes.

I have so much to say to her but I don't wanna come off the wrong way. She's a Capricorn. I mean if it makes any difference.

Profile picture of mzmee
PinkySagLove
@mzmee
19 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1480 · Topics: 46
Posted by Deedee86
Posted by mzmee
Posted by Rindaroo
Posted by mzmee
Any parents feel so overwhelmed to the point where they can say if they started life all over they wouldn't have children?

I was told this today and being the emotionally awkward fuck that I am, didn't have good advice or calming words. I just bussed out some ice cream and brownies and offered her a spoon.



Such a horrible friend I am...
Well there are times, but overall I can't imagine life without my kids ( one adult & one almost).

How old are the kids? Sometimes it is overwhelming. Some people are made for it, and some not so much. Ice cream & brownies seems appropriate ?
She has teenagers and a pre teen. I'm scared because she tells me all the horror stories. I give advice based on how I was as a teen. Other than that, I don't know much else.



I have 2 teenagers. It's trying. There are times when I really don't like them very much. The key is to always love them.

And don't let them walk all over you. If they can, they will eat you alive.

And call them out when they are acting like assholes. Remind them that they cannot treat people like that.

A parent's job is to raise decent adults, not overgrown manchildren who mooch off you forever.



click to expand



My advise was something similar when we talked a while back. I based experience on growing up with my siblings. My dad was the disciplinarian and he was tough. Nothing could get past him but he was loving too so we were able to talk to him about everything.

But yeah. Gotta be stern with them but loving.
Profile picture of mzmee
PinkySagLove
@mzmee
19 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1480 · Topics: 46
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by mzmee
Any parents feel so overwhelmed to the point where they can say if they started life all over they wouldn't have children?

I was told this today and being the emotionally awkward fuck that I am, didn't have good advice or calming words. I just bussed out some ice cream and brownies and offered her a spoon.



Such a horrible friend I am...
Sometimes one just needs a safe space to vent without judgement. You gave her ice cream too! You did good.
click to expand

Sometimes, that's all I have to offer. When my unfiltered mouth wants to talk, I eat. Then I get distracted ?

Profile picture of mzmee
PinkySagLove
@mzmee
19 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1480 · Topics: 46
Posted by EvilHare
We adopted our son when he was 10.

And yes, many many times my wife and I both felt unappreciated.

But that's a common thing with adopted kids.

You just need to grow a pair and do what’s right like Deedee said.


Oh this is for a friend. I'll play my part and feed her for now.

How old is he now? She has two boys and a girl and the boys are rougher on her than her daughter.