Redneck Murder

This topic was created in the Miscellaneous forum by LibraSid on Thursday, February 16, 2012 and has 24 replies.

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@LibraSid
16 Years1,000+ PostsLibra

While we are talking about rednecks, here are some tips for any of you that may have figured out how to use the interwebz and are having this read to you...

(Manners)
1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2. Always try and identify the people in your yard BEFORE shooting at them.
3. It is considered poor taste to take a cooler to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you are certain you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.
(Driving Ettiquette)
6. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles... even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.
7. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires ALWAYS has the right-of-way.
8. Never tow another vehicle using only pantyhose and duct tape.
9. When sending your wife/girlfriend down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
10. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially if you are driving.

And some dating (outside the family) tips:

1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially if it's the first date.
2. Be aggressive. Let het know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago".
3. Though uncomfortable, you should wear shoes... and socks.
4. Livestock is NOT a better first date gift than flowers.

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@XXMR2NICEXX
15 Years1,000+ Posts

If You've Ever Been Told That You Are Lieing Through Your Tooth You Might Be A Redneck

You Might Be A Red Neck If......

you Are Looking For A Girl Freind At Your Family Reunion

Profile picture of dofacc
@dofacc
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Check your background.

I suppose it is just me being old fashioned, but really, don't you think that rose tattoo detracts from the overall allure of her look? I mean really, shouldn't it be over the LEFT breast——

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@dofacc
15 Years1,000+ Posts

This is off topic.....

So, VB, about that avatar you are currently using, how many guys have asked "How do I get that monkey on MY back?"

Or better yet, "How do I get that monkey on IT'S back?!?!?"

Just asking, you know, just so the DXP community knows....