Soooo

This is a long story...so I don't blame you if you don't even read it. But if you're bored:]

Me and my boyfriend recently decided to take a bit of a "break" because we were having problems.
This is really hard for me, because we've been together forever, and even made it through his deployment..but since he's been back from Iraq he just hasn't been the same. & I know that's to be expected, but he hasn't even attempted to get counseling or anything.
I've been trying really REALLY hard to ignore it and make it work...but he's just kind of mean...all the time. It seems like everything gets taken out on me - I definately get the worst of it. 😢 He's usually grouchy, discontent, tired, angry, etc. Basically every negative emotion you can be. Very draining for me to be around. But no one can say I didn't try.

He's already been making comments about me being on the prowl for another man & like mocking me and encouraging me to do it. He says go be happy, "go swim in the sea," "spread your pretty wings" (Maxwell, lol.) I laugh and tell him not to be jealous & he looks me straight in the face and tells me he really does not care. :/
I don't know what to do. I have been asked out already by someone I've known for years - apparently word gets out fast. But I won't go because I'm scared I'll lose him. Everyone insists that I just need to do it, just to prove a point. But I'm not really into games at this point. Especially not with him...

Soooo On the topic of me and the BF taking a break, came up the topic of an ex "flame." It was a boy I had a crush on my entire life - legend in my house - you couldn't even say his name around me without me blushing and getting all upset. Right before my boyfriend and I had gotten back together this last time (almost 2 yrs ago now) me and him went on a few dates. Something I never expected, always kind of thought he was out of my league I guess.
He makes me SO nervous, I can barely talk to him if he's too close to me. I don't get nervous around guys, so I don't really know what it is about him. But anyways, I wasn't completely honest with him about the situation between me and the ex BF, so I ended up hurting his feelings when I got back together with the BF.

But anyways, he's been coming up in like every conversation since the "breakup." & just yesterday at lunch I was telling a friend the story and how I wished I would just run into to him again so I could apologize and maybe try the whole hanging out thing again... not as a rebound sort of situation, but because I always wondered if I made a mistake...

Wouldn't you fucking know...later that night I go to eat with my BF (first time we even hung out in over a week) and guess who walks in with his GF?! WHY ME. Like seriously, fuck my life.



😢

Aw thanks. 🙂

The polar bear is about to eat that dog. SO CUTE Lol.....

Posted by deemnsout4ever
Now Gimme a kiss !!!

***mmmmmmwaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh***

*kissy*

😄 better

Posted by Hypnotic1o1
briana, SugarBunny — ..

everything will be all right, sooner or later..
(at least I hope so..)
I'm sending a few threat letters to someone..

(just remember hell is others..)

*back to real life, which seems to be a luxury*

Lol @ the threat letters.

What do I do?

LOL what an idiot

Posted by deemnsout4ever
I dunno, it seems quite a sensitive situation, buuutttttt,an honest opinion ??


that guy who you just makes your head trip out (which sounds really hot and cute and sweet and all that jazz) ??...you must get rid of his girlfriend 🙂

Yes.... dispose of the girlfriend.

May I suggest rat poison? JK!!!

But seriously..... out of his league—?!!!! Only if you believe you are then you are. I always hate to hear this line... recently a guy I was chatting with said that to me and I was like WTF?.... what league are you playing in? Little League? Cause I dont play in any leagues! You are beautiful and I doubt very seriously that he would think anything even close to that. If anything, he may feel that way about you. You never know whats going on in someone's mind ad men are a lot more insecure than you may think, especially the one's that come off NOT to be.

I dont know what to tell you to do other than if you feel like it may be worth it, try and contact him and see where it goes.

Haha! That's exactly what I was thinking.

No, but he didn't even say hi to me. (I don't really blame him...I should have been honest with him from the beginning/ I pretty much blew him off. )

The place we were at has a buffet. Him & the BF were up there at the same time and he was looking the BF up & down (like he wanted him or something) but avoided looking in my direction at all. I'm assuming the girl was his GF since I don't really know. She was pretty and blonde and TALL. 😢
FML. Seriously.




But really, don't you think it's just really wierd, that I'm talking about wishing I'd bump into him, and that same day he walks into the same restaurant? I mean the town I live in isn't huge or anything, but it's not really that small either. What are the chances—

& why does he make me so nervous - no other guy ever has. I think there's something strange going on there.

Posted by BellaBulleautiful
First my luv,you need to figure out your feelings for your bf.do you want him or not?

I do. He's my first love, high school sweetheart, best friend, etc. But it's just not working & I can't change him.
We've broken up so many times. & he always pops back into my life doing whatever it takes to get me back. But sooner or later things go bad again. It's a vicious cycle.

You think that I forgotten? Years ago you were so proud of your BF and his deployment in the war zone and wishing him well while I was warning you all about this problem?

Now he is back and you want to get rid of him and poetically calling it (taking a break) lol!. I told you then and still telling you these guys are suffering from what is called (war syndrome) and they are in dire need of medical support and family attention, you think that is easy to live with the eternal shame of killing innocent people, occupying a country that had nothing to do with you and your country, creating millions of orphans, widows and refugees?

Be happy??_. There are 200,000 of these psychos staying on line to get back home. The real war has just begun!

I don't want to get rid of him at all! The decision really was mutual. We can't get along anymore. We spend way too much time together. We needed to spend some time apart to figure out what we're going to do.

He knows he has problems from Iraq...but he won't go get counseling. It's fucking retarded acutally.
The first few months he was back he was laid back, peaceful, glad to be home, appreciated loved ones and life, was going to church. But then...his father fucked him out of this house he was buying and putting all this money in and he just got really angry after that & now it's been like 2 years...and he still hasn't snapped out of it. I really can only take so much. It's very draining for me to be accepting of all that negativity.

I really didn't want to put my business all the way out there...
But I don't think it's fair that I should have to put up with emotional and verbal abuse from him because he won't go get counseling. I've been the understanding, accepting, happy girlfriend for a really long time. It's just not fair to me. It's changing who I am.

Posted by BellaBulleautiful
That's your answer then,and I can relate to that.you're way to young for unhappiness! I hear alot about soldiers coming home in that condition and I really don't think it can even be counciled out.maybe you should hold off on going out in public with him? the other guy can't know you are free if you don't look like it. 😉

I know! I called my friend and told her...she was like WTF why were you with the BF?!

But also, on the other hand. I know he says he's ok with me seeing other people, but he's probably really not. The minute I start seeing someone else he's going to try and get me back. & that's not fair to that guy. I don't even want to subject someone else to that. :/

you're way to young for unhappiness!

Unhappiness is the part of the human learning process, the younger age the better.

I know he says he's ok with me seeing other people, but he's probably really not. The minute I start seeing someone else he's going to try and get me back.

Another proof that he is suffering from psychological disorder, as you described him in your profile page (he is love of your life) then why don't you help him to get rid of this misery instead of dating someone else?

Tell me.. what is LOVE means to you..?

The problem is...I CAN'T help him. I can't save him from himself.
He needs professional help. He won't get it.

You can't help someone that doesn't want help.
Plus, I've been this way my entire life, always trying to save people. That itself is sad. I can't save anyone...I just end up taking their shit

ugh. briana is his girlfriend, not his psychologist. a lot of girls would fall into the trap of "i need to fix his problems" but i think it's a good thing that she realizes this is beyond her.

I have to agree with Trifles.

I dated a guy that was an ex- army special forces unit and had done several tours in Iraq as a contractor for many Government agencies. When he showed me some of the footage from his tours I was totally taken aback. They see some fucked up shit over there and it totally affects them psycologically rather they will admit it or not. In most cases they DONT admit it. You cant fix him, only he can fix himself. Yes, Q has a point about a support system and all, but there is only so much you can do. My guy turned out to be a total whack job and God bless him, but as a result he wasnt able to hold any relationship together for too long. He was 35 and had been married three times already. We parted peacefully but our relationship was rather short lived so different circumstances.

Now, another note, my ex-husband had issues as well after the loss of this son. He refused to seek professional help to deal with his greif and as a result he became unable to cope with daily life (this is the underlying reason for our eventual demise). I did everything in my power to help him.... I did not want to abandon him in his time of need... I hung in there for well over a year begging him to seek professonial help and tolerated some really unacceptable behaviour as he turned to alcohol and other vices. He pushed me away with everything he had until I eventually had no choice but to finally detach from him. He has since gotten some help and is now coping in a healthy manner but regrets the things he did and has to live with all the things he lost.

So, in a nutshell.... YOU cant fix him... HE has to fix himself and I applaud you for realizing that. Even if you force him into going, if he's not truly open to receiving the help, it wont do any good. Hopefully he will realize this soon enough.

Good luck girl!

Lmao..

Typical American double standards saying —these guys are our heroes defending our way of life?? then when things getting tight saying —who cares, I can't take that shit anymore??..!

Do I need to pull up the hypocrisy 101 again..?

If a person is in the correct state of mind and refusing helping hand then so be it, but these guys are sick, they are confused, they don't know what they are saying, thinking or doing as well as they didn't know what the hell they were fighting against!

Brianafay, nobody asked you to mothering your BF but you sure could show some compassion by encourage him to visit a psychologist as many time as it is possible, gathering that facts that he is not in the right state of mind.

These guys if left alone unattended will be a huge burden to the American societies, a future criminals with a no mercy killing skills.

Not so fast buster...


The same Brianafay couple of years ago popped in to my topic in politics forum babbling about how is she proud of the American soldiers and her BF in war in Iraq, now the same brianafay saying something else.

Just wanted to remind her that at that time she was wrong, and she is still wrong.

Brianafay - this is a very difficult decision you have to make. I've never dated anyone in the military, but my cousin is married to an ex-Marine, and I've been around a lot of them for many years. In typical female fashion, you are taking this on, and it's understandable because you do love him, and you don't want to see him suffering or hurting anymore...with that being said, you can only do so much for a person. They have to also WANT to change and furthermore, given that he was in the military it's a double-edged sword, because they do have help/assistance for them, but a lot of them are too prideful/confused/disengaged, etc to take it, and I can't fault them for that because they have been through so much. Only you can decide what is best for the both of you, but what I want to strongly caution you against is playing the "saving nursemaid." It will likely only make matters worse, and you could be prolonging the inevitable. I know some may think that you should just stay in there, and hang on with him because of the circumstances, but I, disagree. You are a young lady who needs to think about HERSELF above and beyond anything else, because if you don't take care of you; there is nothing of you that will be left to help anyone else.
Insofar as the other guy situation, I think that you should tread cautiously and get YOU together first, before you throw yourself into another relationship. Why not date? It's not always fun, but you will get a lot of stories out of dating (I know I have - LOL). What ever decision you make, good luck!

Posted by deemnsout4ever
and tall girls are over-rated anyways, brianafay 🙂
(except the ones I like)

HEY! I'm tall...*sulks*

Lmao...


8 years of constant killing and obliterating at least 2.000.000 innocent people in two fronts (the third is on its way) wasting $ 12.000.000.000 each month since 2001 (a cost of single foot soldier doing the American dirty works is about $ 970.000 each year) and all you can say? and I believe it's the military it's self that's ruining their minds...they brainwash them in to being killing machines?

What makes you think that American civilians are not subjected to the same brainwashing programs?

These psycho soldiers are Americans aren't they??

Posted by Qbone
Not so fast buster...


The same Brianafay couple of years ago popped in to my topic in politics forum babbling about how is she proud of the American soldiers and her BF in war in Iraq, now the same brianafay saying something else.

Just wanted to remind her that at that time she was wrong, and she is still wrong.

I am still proud of him. I still think he is a hero. He went out and did something most people don't want to do. It's because of people like him we don't have a draft anymore forcing young men to fight.

You're not even American, so really, your opinion of American soldiers really means nothing to me. 🙂 I mean that with all the respect, obviously.

I do love him dearl, and I'm so sorry he is having troubles. But I can't fix them for him. He needs to get help on his own time. He needs to find himself again. He needs some time alone. & he knows that too, like I said this was a mutual decision.

I still support him no matter what, and I will continue to encourage him to seek help. Because I LOVE him.
Loving him doesn't mean I stick around and take his abuse. That will only send the message that everything is ok, when it's not. I think if he loses something really important to him he might realize he needs help.


So, thanks but as far as trying to save someone I cannot help: worst advice of the year. 🙂

& to the rest of you: Thanks for the support. 🙂
♥♥♥♥♥♥

why is everything a damn argument with you ,even when we agree?

We don't, especially in this subject; you as a mature lady should help the youngsters to find a reasonable/acceptable solution to their relationship problems, not encouraging them to find something else, you know damn well that the brianafay problem is the national problem and growing, how about the female soldiers suffering from the same problem? You??ll tell their husbands the same?


Like I asked, what is love means to you?

Brianafay:

Ever heard of —Brother in arms— I did my service to my country in 8 years and I know what soldiers life is like no matter the nationality, I grew up in military family and discipline, that your BF is —lost in space?? I agree with, but what he need is an anchor to stay on the ground and preferably with you.

My father was a rear general and war hero, what is the different between my mother and you..? she had the same ordeal to deal with (if not worse).

What is wrong with the younger generations..?? where is the support? And who do you call your love of life?

why are you talking about love Qbone? I doubt anyone ever loved you LOL!!!

Stop aping around, will you ever shut up lol gay boy..??

Yeahhhh again, I do love and support him. But to me, love doesn't mean acting as someone's doormat for all their anger and frustration.
I doubt I'm doing him any good by sticking around and taking his abuse. That's only enabling his problem - he has no reason to get help if I'm supporting him the way he is now.

He needs some time to himself. He knows this...as this was partly his decision.
& to be perfectly honest, if it wasn't, I'd probably still be going along with it - smiling too. Pretty sick, but I do have that intense, almost unconditional kind of love for him. There is little he could ever do to change my mind.

& I'm glad he loves me enough to realize what was going on and let me go until he can find himself and get right.


Is love being a doormat to you, wise one?
Just curious...

so if someone has served in the military...they have earned the right to treat their loved ones badly?

I don't know what are you talking about, the military personal in peace time are more like a mannequin models than a human, a sight for the horny ladies who loves the uniforms and shiny medals, then in war times when the real job starts things will change, like I said the killing of the human being is not easy to digest even for the real butchers, you??ll be hunted by the nightmares, when you see your loved one you??ll see the images of those people you killed in actions, the disgusting smell of blood will embedded in your nose for the entire life time, the brianafay BF is no hero but a normal human being subjected to the filthy rotten politics and I promise you in couple years when he finally wake up he??ll be real menace if he doesn't get help NOW and for that he??ll need someone who he can trust like brianafay.


does your father treat your mother badly Qbone?


Depends on what do you call bad? My mother is Taurus (like yourself) and my dad was Sagittarian (like brianafay), emotional they had some problem here and there like everyone else but not in particular ways!

Posted by deemnsout4ever
..and only whores wear heels

(cuddles own ego🙂 )

Damn! So is that what it takes to be defined as a whore? Shit!!!

And all this time I thought it took fucking a shitload of guys to get that title..

Guess Ive been wasting my time when I couldve just been wearing heels!! ;P

WinterBorn

You??ve said that shit before no need to repeating yourself again and again.. If you knew what hell the Americans did to the German populations you would have the same opinion as him.

The whole situation is really a shame. It wasn't supposed to turn out like this. It's sad...it fucking sucks. But it is what it is.
We had to make a decision sometime. It has been made. All I can do is be there for him when he needs me, and hope there's a happy ending.
I can't solve this for him.

*lightbulb*

So thats why they call me that!!!! Aw.... term of endearment. *hugs for all the whore bashers*


😄

Brianafay

All I can do is be there for him when he needs me, and hope there's a happy ending.


Good choice to start with, reminding you that he is emotionally suppressed by the war experience already the last thing he need is to witnessing your distance and worse dating someone else!

Yes you did, brows your archive.

Posted by deemnsout4ever

hahahaaa..
Hey, don't blame me though, that's just the rules


*salutes*






*lolls tongue*

So, if I wear heels while shagging that really makes for whore-y activity huh?

Posted by deemnsout4ever

Posted by LeoLadyLovesToBeLoved

Posted by deemnsout4ever

hahahaaa..
Hey, don't blame me though, that's just the rules


*salutes*






*lolls tongue*

So, if I wear heels while shagging that really makes for whore-y activity huh?

Umm, now you mention it, yes 🙂

click to expand

SWEET! Double points for me!!! 😄

He He!!!

Just sayin! 😉

Qbone's not even of our species LOL!!! you ever see a movie called 'Wrong Turn'? Thats Qbones bloodline. LOL!

True; I am not a talking monkey like you, now shut the fuck up bitch !

BellaBulleautiful

why do you respond to the "lol gay boy" but don't answer my question Qbone

I believe I did, browse back..!

You just say that so people go looking, don't you ?

That's the part of the policy when people get delusional by the unrelated mass posts ??_!

what, send them looking for something that isn't there ?

It is there where it suppose to be??_

p.s: You're missing out, getting all angry about war stuff, we've had Aliens,Denver International Airport,psychic episodes,and String theory, all this week !!
That's right up your alley, I thought ??


31 posts by you and how many of them are really related to the main subject..? You disappointing me all the time and still I have a high score for you and your comments.



Stay on topic and respect the topic holder..!

*covers eyes*

(why am I covering my eyes?)

Lol I wish that really worked! I have this inside joke with my mom...whenever there's a really awkward situation we mumble "im invisible."
Funny 🙂

Knewwww it. 🙂