lilyofthevalley987
@lilyofthevalley987
8 Years
Comments: 1 · Posts: 208 · Topics: 19
moon in virgo when hurt
Posted by Smidgei had to meet up with him for sth but he said that he ll come early to work for us to discuss it.he did come early but his friends started talking to him and we didnt talk. I felt hurt because the thing was for him and i felt awkard going towards him to talk. So i sent him a long message to explain some shortcomings between us.and he got on the defensive saying that he cant believe this is coming from me etc etc and that if it was my decision to leave him alone he ll respect it even though i didnt respect him and that he is hurt
Seems a bit dramatic. Is there more to that story?
Posted by SmidgePosted by lilyofthevalley987Posted by Smidge
Seems a bit dramatic. Is there more to that story?
i had to meet up with him for sth but he said that he ll come early to work for us to discuss it.he did come early but his friends started talking to him and we didnt talk. I felt hurt because the thing was for him and i felt awkard going towards him to talk. So i sent him a long message to explain some shortcomings between us.and he got on the defensive saying that he cant believe this is coming from me etc etc and that if it was my decision to leave him alone he ll respect it even though i didnt respect him and that he is hurt click to expand
What did you expect him to do differently? click to expandclick to expand
To at least listen to what i had to say but when we had the fight he said he forgot And i had to take him aside to talk
Posted by SmidgePosted by lilyofthevalley987Posted by SmidgePosted by lilyofthevalley987Posted by Smidge
Seems a bit dramatic. Is there more to that story?
i had to meet up with him for sth but he said that he ll come early to work for us to discuss it.he did come early but his friends started talking to him and we didnt talk. I felt hurt because the thing was for him and i felt awkard going towards him to talk. So i sent him a long message to explain some shortcomings between us.and he got on the defensive saying that he cant believe this is coming from me etc etc and that if it was my decision to leave him alone he ll respect it even though i didnt respect him and that he is hurt click to expand
What did you expect him to do differently? click to expand
To at least listen to what i had to say but when we had the fight he said he forgot And i had to take him aside to talk
click to expand
I don't fully understand the story. But it doesn't sound like something that can't be solved with a sorry from each of you. click to expandclick to expand
i already apologised to him so i think ill give him some time to chill
Posted by halalbae
With Virgo moon its youre either theirs or youre not but if you in ANY WAY are unsure, you gotta go
can u plz elaborate on what you mean by this?
As a virgo moon myself,
I dont like that fact that you're saying it in a text message. If you're going to be sincere about your apology you might as well do it by actions and not by words.
Cause to us you're just saying sorry, just to make yourself feel better instead of us.
You're sending him a text message how you were hurt. But again, you were the one who hurted him to begin with, dont you think you're being a bit overboard focusing on yourself than him?
His friend happened to tag along, and you're the one who said "you'll leave him alone" so what do you think he was going to do?
Instead of giving him time to be alone, do it by actions and dont say it by words.
I dont like that fact that you're saying it in a text message. If you're going to be sincere about your apology you might as well do it by actions and not by words.
Cause to us you're just saying sorry, just to make yourself feel better instead of us.
You're sending him a text message how you were hurt. But again, you were the one who hurted him to begin with, dont you think you're being a bit overboard focusing on yourself than him?
His friend happened to tag along, and you're the one who said "you'll leave him alone" so what do you think he was going to do?
Instead of giving him time to be alone, do it by actions and dont say it by words.
If you want help from a Virgo Moon regarding your situation, you'll need to give more details. It seems like you're purposefully withholding the information, yet somehow still expecting clear solution to your current problem. Is it because you feel that you were in the wrong?
Virgo Moon people like consistency and honesty. While we don't necessarily mind arguments (depending on our other placements), you better be 100% accurate when you're confronting us. Virgo Moon has a mind for details and facts, which we'll use at our disposal if you cross the line. Virgo Moons however don't like messy situations, so you'll only really see our worst side if you push us. While we do have emotions, we will often put them on the back burner in order to approach situations logically and critically.
If you're the type of person who is impulsive and emotionally irrational, expect to irritate a Virgo Moon person. We'll wonder why a person who cares for us chooses to be hostile with us. We'll spend a lot of time debating internally and analyzing the situation ad nauseam. If the Virgo Moon can't reach a desirable conclusion it will become ruthlessly harsh. At that point also expect one of our more confrontational aspects to take over.
One thing you need to know is that beyond the Virgo Moon, you're also dealing with a Cancer Mars person. Cancer Mars can be an uncomfortable placement when it comes to aggression and confrontation. It can make the person extremely emotional and passive aggressive when they are upset. Combined with his Gemini sun, this guy knows how to use words to cut deep. He's also going to be extremely difficult to pin down in an argument as well.
Virgo Moon people like consistency and honesty. While we don't necessarily mind arguments (depending on our other placements), you better be 100% accurate when you're confronting us. Virgo Moon has a mind for details and facts, which we'll use at our disposal if you cross the line. Virgo Moons however don't like messy situations, so you'll only really see our worst side if you push us. While we do have emotions, we will often put them on the back burner in order to approach situations logically and critically.
If you're the type of person who is impulsive and emotionally irrational, expect to irritate a Virgo Moon person. We'll wonder why a person who cares for us chooses to be hostile with us. We'll spend a lot of time debating internally and analyzing the situation ad nauseam. If the Virgo Moon can't reach a desirable conclusion it will become ruthlessly harsh. At that point also expect one of our more confrontational aspects to take over.
One thing you need to know is that beyond the Virgo Moon, you're also dealing with a Cancer Mars person. Cancer Mars can be an uncomfortable placement when it comes to aggression and confrontation. It can make the person extremely emotional and passive aggressive when they are upset. Combined with his Gemini sun, this guy knows how to use words to cut deep. He's also going to be extremely difficult to pin down in an argument as well.
Posted by Echo
As a virgo moon myself,
I dont like that fact that you're saying it in a text message. If you're going to be sincere about your apology you might as well do it by actions and not by words.
Cause to us you're just saying sorry, just to make yourself feel better instead of us.
You're sending him a text message how you were hurt. But again, you were the one who hurted him to begin with, dont you think you're being a bit overboard focusing on yourself than him?
His friend happened to tag along, and you're the one who said "you'll leave him alone" so what do you think he was going to do?
Instead of giving him time to be alone, do it by actions and dont say it by words.
the day i sent the message.earlier that day i called him because i wanted to offer my help for an issue he faces and i didnt want to do it by phone so i suggested for us to meet.he said that he was busy at the time and if we could talk when he comes to work and that he would come early.he did come early but got caught up chatting with others and after sending the message he said that he forgot we had to talk.
I said i ll leave him alone because i thought that my efforts werent welcome and that i was coming on too strong and i thought that i wont bother him anymore thats all there no holding informations or sth
Posted by lilyofthevalley987I completely understand that part, but where you send him a text message afterwards that you were hurt, therefore knowing in the beginning he had stuff to do.Posted by Echo
As a virgo moon myself,
I dont like that fact that you're saying it in a text message. If you're going to be sincere about your apology you might as well do it by actions and not by words.
Cause to us you're just saying sorry, just to make yourself feel better instead of us.
You're sending him a text message how you were hurt. But again, you were the one who hurted him to begin with, dont you think you're being a bit overboard focusing on yourself than him?
His friend happened to tag along, and you're the one who said "you'll leave him alone" so what do you think he was going to do?
Instead of giving him time to be alone, do it by actions and dont say it by words.
the day i sent the message.earlier that day i called him because i wanted to offer my help for an issue he faces and i didnt want to do it by phone so i suggested for us to meet.he said that he was busy at the time and if we could talk when he comes to work and that he would come early.he did come early but got caught up chatting with others and after sending the message he said that he forgot we had to talk.
I said i ll leave him alone because i thought that my efforts werent welcome and that i was coming on too strong and i thought that i wont bother him anymore thats all there no holding informations or sth click to expandclick to expand
However, just keep trying we dont seem like we dont like the effort but that's how we see that you're sorry.
Posted by EchoPosted by lilyofthevalley987Posted by Echo
As a virgo moon myself,
I dont like that fact that you're saying it in a text message. If you're going to be sincere about your apology you might as well do it by actions and not by words.
Cause to us you're just saying sorry, just to make yourself feel better instead of us.
You're sending him a text message how you were hurt. But again, you were the one who hurted him to begin with, dont you think you're being a bit overboard focusing on yourself than him?
His friend happened to tag along, and you're the one who said "you'll leave him alone" so what do you think he was going to do?
Instead of giving him time to be alone, do it by actions and dont say it by words.
the day i sent the message.earlier that day i called him because i wanted to offer my help for an issue he faces and i didnt want to do it by phone so i suggested for us to meet.he said that he was busy at the time and if we could talk when he comes to work and that he would come early.he did come early but got caught up chatting with others and after sending the message he said that he forgot we had to talk.
I said i ll leave him alone because i thought that my efforts werent welcome and that i was coming on too strong and i thought that i wont bother him anymore thats all there no holding informations or sth click to expand
I completely understand that part, but where you send him a text message afterwards that you were hurt, therefore knowing in the beginning he had stuff to do.
However, just keep trying we dont seem like we dont like the effort but that's how we see that you're sorry. click to expandclick to expand
how can i show i m sorry since he is icing me out ? What to do to show him im sincere?
Posted by lilyofthevalley987Talk to him in person and mean it. Doesnt matter pull him aside nicely and just say how you feel.Posted by EchoPosted by lilyofthevalley987Posted by Echo
As a virgo moon myself,
I dont like that fact that you're saying it in a text message. If you're going to be sincere about your apology you might as well do it by actions and not by words.
Cause to us you're just saying sorry, just to make yourself feel better instead of us.
You're sending him a text message how you were hurt. But again, you were the one who hurted him to begin with, dont you think you're being a bit overboard focusing on yourself than him?
His friend happened to tag along, and you're the one who said "you'll leave him alone" so what do you think he was going to do?
Instead of giving him time to be alone, do it by actions and dont say it by words.
the day i sent the message.earlier that day i called him because i wanted to offer my help for an issue he faces and i didnt want to do it by phone so i suggested for us to meet.he said that he was busy at the time and if we could talk when he comes to work and that he would come early.he did come early but got caught up chatting with others and after sending the message he said that he forgot we had to talk.
I said i ll leave him alone because i thought that my efforts werent welcome and that i was coming on too strong and i thought that i wont bother him anymore thats all there no holding informations or sth click to expand
I completely understand that part, but where you send him a text message afterwards that you were hurt, therefore knowing in the beginning he had stuff to do.
However, just keep trying we dont seem like we dont like the effort but that's how we see that you're sorry. click to expand
how can i show i m sorry since he is icing me out ? What to do to show him im sincere? click to expandclick to expand
Posted by EchoPosted by lilyofthevalley987Posted by EchoPosted by lilyofthevalley987Posted by Echo
As a virgo moon myself,
I dont like that fact that you're saying it in a text message. If you're going to be sincere about your apology you might as well do it by actions and not by words.
Cause to us you're just saying sorry, just to make yourself feel better instead of us.
You're sending him a text message how you were hurt. But again, you were the one who hurted him to begin with, dont you think you're being a bit overboard focusing on yourself than him?
His friend happened to tag along, and you're the one who said "you'll leave him alone" so what do you think he was going to do?
Instead of giving him time to be alone, do it by actions and dont say it by words.
the day i sent the message.earlier that day i called him because i wanted to offer my help for an issue he faces and i didnt want to do it by phone so i suggested for us to meet.he said that he was busy at the time and if we could talk when he comes to work and that he would come early.he did come early but got caught up chatting with others and after sending the message he said that he forgot we had to talk.
I said i ll leave him alone because i thought that my efforts werent welcome and that i was coming on too strong and i thought that i wont bother him anymore thats all there no holding informations or sth click to expand
I completely understand that part, but where you send him a text message afterwards that you were hurt, therefore knowing in the beginning he had stuff to do.
However, just keep trying we dont seem like we dont like the effort but that's how we see that you're sorry. click to expand
how can i show i m sorry since he is icing me out ? What to do to show him im sincere? click to expand
Talk to him in person and mean it. Doesnt matter pull him aside nicely and just say how you feel. click to expandclick to expand
thank you i appreciate your answer
Posted by Echo
As a virgo moon myself,
I dont like that fact that you're saying it in a text message. If you're going to be sincere about your apology you might as well do it by actions and not by words.
Cause to us you're just saying sorry, just to make yourself feel better instead of us.
You're sending him a text message how you were hurt. But again, you were the one who hurted him to begin with, dont you think you're being a bit overboard focusing on yourself than him?
His friend happened to tag along, and you're the one who said "you'll leave him alone" so what do you think he was going to do?
Instead of giving him time to be alone, do it by actions and dont say it by words.
@Echo we are on talking terms now, he told me that he understands my reasons and he really thought about the situation and that if i wanna keep our union i have to not make him have second thoughts about me,so now as i see it even though his mind gets it, his heart doesnt, because he is cautious and reserved now about me
what can i do now? i am lost the problem in all this is that he thinks i was jealous thats why i had a nerve breakdown but i think what hurt him is for me to say that i ll leave him alone
Posted by topeswe know each other a long time now, we are close friends but i like him, from his side i ve seen an attraction towards me but i m not sure since he s not an expressive guy,he means a lot to me and he knows it,
How important was this 'issue' that required you to speak to him?
Sounds like you had something relationshippy to discuss. And followed up with it on text, pushing him away like a pro.
If you don't give the right info you'll receive generic, misleading responses.
the previous week i called him to meet up because he is sick and i bought some medicine for him and i wanted to see him for a few minutes to give it to him,(i didnt tell him that at time but later on),he told me that he was busy and that he ll come early to work to talk, he did come early but he didnt say a word to me,maybe he wanted for me to come to him by my own or sth but at the time i was caught up with some reports i had to do and he went outside,i heard him talking to others and i was offended since he didnt talk to me i didnt know if he was ready to talk to me or busy,when i went home i sent him a message saying how i felt and that his behavior showed me my worth and maybe i wanted to force sth it wasnt meant to be and that now he had other peolple he talks to, i named a few female coworkers and told him that maybe it was best if i left him alone, he texted me back saying that i hurt his feelings by having these thoughts about him and that i was jealous thats why im hostile and angry but seriously i was not,i felt like i was nothing to him, afterwards we talked about it more calmely but i feel like he is more reserved with me since he told me that he didnt expect this from me and that my behavior made him reevaluate our bond
Posted by topes
How important was this 'issue' that required you to speak to him?
he is someone that keeps to himself all the time, and from my observations he had been rejected all his life, reason why i think what hurt him the most is me saying i m gonna leave him alone, because when i asked why he is giving me the silent treatment he said that he was respecting my wish and had nothing against me
on the other hand what i dont get is how someone who would stop talking to me for days when he is upset with me, is taking this attitude because to me saying that u ll give the person space and actually doing is different, i used words he uses actions
and also a lot of people stopped talking to him but he patched up with them, recently he had an argument with a coworker (her doing not him ) but when she appologised he is normal again with her, but with me i find its different
Posted by Smidgeso does it mean that s it? he wont trust me again for thinking i was doing him a favor?
Now the story makes more sense.
That's all very eye roll worthy.
If he says he's "reevaluating"... 😬😬 He'll more than likely forgive you and you'll be friends again but.. trust takes a long time to rebuild for us, he'll likely be reevaluating you forever. 🙄
the tricky part is why did he forgive the others and not me?
since he doesnt show his feelings to me except when he is jealous, im not perfect but as i see it i am to him this creature who doesnt do wrong
i apologised to him and he listened but its seriously ridiculous and i suffer from it and i see he is miserable too
isnt there a way to fix this? i try to be patient but he gets on my nerves sometimes
and if he doesnt trust me again, i dont think i ll be welcomed in his life again or that he would give me a second chance
Posted by SmidgePosted by lilyofthevalley987Posted by Smidgeso does it mean that s it? he wont trust me again for thinking i was doing him a favor?
Now the story makes more sense.
That's all very eye roll worthy.
If he says he's "reevaluating"... 😬😬 He'll more than likely forgive you and you'll be friends again but.. trust takes a long time to rebuild for us, he'll likely be reevaluating you forever. 🙄
the tricky part is why did he forgive the others and not me?
since he doesnt show his feelings to me except when he is jealous, im not perfect but as i see it i am to him this creature who doesnt do wrong
i apologised to him and he listened but its seriously ridiculous and i suffer from it and i see he is miserable too
isnt there a way to fix this? i try to be patient but he gets on my nerves sometimes
and if he doesnt trust me again, i dont think i ll be welcomed in his life again or that he would give me a second chance click to expand
What others did he forgive?
I don't want to say he won't ever trust you, idk him maybe he will. This is coming from somebody who barely trusts anyone so maybe don't take it for gospel lol...
I feel like my Virgo moon is constantly questioning people's motives, so when somebody does something out of character it throws me off balance so much that I find it very difficult to stop questioning their actions from then on, and I'm always kinda wary of them.
That's where my opinion is coming from. In that situation, the best thing the other person can do is stop trying to explain themselves (makes me think they're trying to change my opinion of them to suit them) and just correct their behaviour. click to expandclick to expand
actually it makes more sense as u put it, since he told me to go with the flow from now on,and that he hopes im willing to put effort to keep him in my life, since what i did was out of caracter and so not like me,i told him that im going through some hard times and maybe that my reaction through text seemed violent but i wasnt angry i was shaking, but when he is angry he stops using logic
and by others there was a friend of mine to who he was close to at a time she stopped talking to him on 3 occasions and he was the who took the initiative to retalk he told me that himself
and the other is the girl who had the argument with him after she apologised he talks to her now normally so this discrimimation that im going through is confusing to me
Posted by Smidgethank you for your input, but i dont think he feels the need to apologise, he upset me a lot before and he never said sorry it was always me staying in my corner until i calmed down and got back talking to him so maybe he thinks the same or thinks he didnt do sth wrong and i attacked him wronglyPosted by lilyofthevalley987Posted by SmidgePosted by lilyofthevalley987Posted by Smidge
Now the story makes more sense.
That's all very eye roll worthy.
If he says he's "reevaluating"... 😬😬 He'll more than likely forgive you and you'll be friends again but.. trust takes a long time to rebuild for us, he'll likely be reevaluating you forever. 🙄
so does it mean that s it? he wont trust me again for thinking i was doing him a favor?
the tricky part is why did he forgive the others and not me?
since he doesnt show his feelings to me except when he is jealous, im not perfect but as i see it i am to him this creature who doesnt do wrong
i apologised to him and he listened but its seriously ridiculous and i suffer from it and i see he is miserable too
isnt there a way to fix this? i try to be patient but he gets on my nerves sometimes
and if he doesnt trust me again, i dont think i ll be welcomed in his life again or that he would give me a second chance click to expand
What others did he forgive?
I don't want to say he won't ever trust you, idk him maybe he will. This is coming from somebody who barely trusts anyone so maybe don't take it for gospel lol...
I feel like my Virgo moon is constantly questioning people's motives, so when somebody does something out of character it throws me off balance so much that I find it very difficult to stop questioning their actions from then on, and I'm always kinda wary of them.
That's where my opinion is coming from. In that situation, the best thing the other person can do is stop trying to explain themselves (makes me think they're trying to change my opinion of them to suit them) and just correct their behaviour. click to expand
actually it makes more sense as u put it, since he told me to go with the flow from now on,and that he hopes im willing to put effort to keep him in my life, since what i did was out of caracter and so not like me,i told him that im going through some hard times and maybe that my reaction through text seemed violent but i wasnt angry i was shaking, but when he is angry he stops using logic
and by others there was a friend of mine to who he was close to at a time she stopped talking to him on 3 occasions and he was the who took the initiative to retalk he told me that himself
and the other is the girl who had the argument with him after she apologised he talks to her now normally so this discrimimation that im going through is confusing to me
click to expand
Maybe he feels as though he was equally wrong in both those situations.
Maybe just say sorry and then leave the ball in his court, let him come to you and also feel the need to apologize. That way it kinda evens the disagreement out. click to expandclick to expand
but when the person doesnt show his attachment to you how am i suppose to think that he would have this reaction when all i wanted was his comfort
Posted by SmidgePosted by lilyofthevalley987Posted by Smidgethank you for your input, but i dont think he feels the need to apologise, he upset me a lot before and he never said sorry it was always me staying in my corner until i calmed down and got back talking to him so maybe he thinks the same or thinks he didnt do sth wrong and i attacked him wronglyPosted by lilyofthevalley987Posted by SmidgePosted by lilyofthevalley987Posted by Smidge
Now the story makes more sense.
That's all very eye roll worthy.
If he says he's "reevaluating"... 😬😬 He'll more than likely forgive you and you'll be friends again but.. trust takes a long time to rebuild for us, he'll likely be reevaluating you forever. 🙄
so does it mean that s it? he wont trust me again for thinking i was doing him a favor?
the tricky part is why did he forgive the others and not me?
since he doesnt show his feelings to me except when he is jealous, im not perfect but as i see it i am to him this creature who doesnt do wrong
i apologised to him and he listened but its seriously ridiculous and i suffer from it and i see he is miserable too
isnt there a way to fix this? i try to be patient but he gets on my nerves sometimes
and if he doesnt trust me again, i dont think i ll be welcomed in his life again or that he would give me a second chance click to expand
What others did he forgive?
I don't want to say he won't ever trust you, idk him maybe he will. This is coming from somebody who barely trusts anyone so maybe don't take it for gospel lol...
I feel like my Virgo moon is constantly questioning people's motives, so when somebody does something out of character it throws me off balance so much that I find it very difficult to stop questioning their actions from then on, and I'm always kinda wary of them.
That's where my opinion is coming from. In that situation, the best thing the other person can do is stop trying to explain themselves (makes me think they're trying to change my opinion of them to suit them) and just correct their behaviour. click to expand
actually it makes more sense as u put it, since he told me to go with the flow from now on,and that he hopes im willing to put effort to keep him in my life, since what i did was out of caracter and so not like me,i told him that im going through some hard times and maybe that my reaction through text seemed violent but i wasnt angry i was shaking, but when he is angry he stops using logic
and by others there was a friend of mine to who he was close to at a time she stopped talking to him on 3 occasions and he was the who took the initiative to retalk he told me that himself
and the other is the girl who had the argument with him after she apologised he talks to her now normally so this discrimimation that im going through is confusing to me
click to expand
Maybe he feels as though he was equally wrong in both those situations.
Maybe just say sorry and then leave the ball in his court, let him come to you and also feel the need to apologize. That way it kinda evens the disagreement out. click to expand
but when the person doesnt show his attachment to you how am i suppose to think that he would have this reaction when all i wanted was his comfort click to expand
Maybe he doesn't feel the same way about you as you feel about him? and so by comforting you and letting you get away with that kind of behaviour, he feels as though he'd be giving you false hope?
I'm not sure if I'm just grasping at things or if what I'm saying has relevance. click to expandclick to expand
maybe you are right, but why would he get jealous of other guys who talk to me, i have proof since he had a conversation with a guy telling him to back off because he was incomfortable
we never adressed this side of our interactions, but he would whisper that he adores me and that i am his weakness and when i ask him to repeat what he said he says he didnt say anyting
and we had a heart to heart conversation and what i understood is that he thinks he is not a good person and is afraid of making mistakes that would ruin everything between us that i would hate him and we wont even be friends, that s why i think he was taking his time, so if after all this he was misleading me... i dont know what to think anymore, he is so confusing , and what i hate the most about this situation is that i see myself in him and its really hard this distance between us, i hurt and to see him everyday is even harder, im seriously thinking about quitting my job....because i feel like i talk to a robot, he is convinced that i did that out of jealousy and the worst is that he have venus and mars in cancer so u can imagine how he is
If the roles were reversed the Virgo moon would’ve been just as upset.. The double standards is strong with this moon.
Just pretend it never happened and he’ll come around soon enough.
Just pretend it never happened and he’ll come around soon enough.
Posted by Mhmmm
If the roles were reversed the Virgo moon would’ve been just as upset.. The double standards is strong with this moon.
Just pretend it never happened and he’ll come around soon enough.
thank you, i noticed that and i ll go with the flow like he said and take your advice, i have enough stress in my life as it is
Posted by SmidgePosted by lilyofthevalley987Posted by SmidgePosted by lilyofthevalley987Posted by SmidgePosted by lilyofthevalley987Posted by SmidgePosted by lilyofthevalley987Posted by Smidge
Now the story makes more sense.
That's all very eye roll worthy.
If he says he's "reevaluating"... 😬😬 He'll more than likely forgive you and you'll be friends again but.. trust takes a long time to rebuild for us, he'll likely be reevaluating you forever. 🙄
so does it mean that s it? he wont trust me again for thinking i was doing him a favor?
the tricky part is why did he forgive the others and not me?
since he doesnt show his feelings to me except when he is jealous, im not perfect but as i see it i am to him this creature who doesnt do wrong
i apologised to him and he listened but its seriously ridiculous and i suffer from it and i see he is miserable too
isnt there a way to fix this? i try to be patient but he gets on my nerves sometimes
and if he doesnt trust me again, i dont think i ll be welcomed in his life again or that he would give me a second chance click to expand
What others did he forgive?
I don't want to say he won't ever trust you, idk him maybe he will. This is coming from somebody who barely trusts anyone so maybe don't take it for gospel lol...
I feel like my Virgo moon is constantly questioning people's motives, so when somebody does something out of character it throws me off balance so much that I find it very difficult to stop questioning their actions from then on, and I'm always kinda wary of them.
That's where my opinion is coming from. In that situation, the best thing the other person can do is stop trying to explain themselves (makes me think they're trying to change my opinion of them to suit them) and just correct their behaviour. click to expand
actually it makes more sense as u put it, since he told me to go with the flow from now on,and that he hopes im willing to put effort to keep him in my life, since what i did was out of caracter and so not like me,i told him that im going through some hard times and maybe that my reaction through text seemed violent but i wasnt angry i was shaking, but when he is angry he stops using logic
and by others there was a friend of mine to who he was close to at a time she stopped talking to him on 3 occasions and he was the who took the initiative to retalk he told me that himself
and the other is the girl who had the argument with him after she apologised he talks to her now normally so this discrimimation that im going through is confusing to me
click to expand
Maybe he feels as though he was equally wrong in both those situations.
Maybe just say sorry and then leave the ball in his court, let him come to you and also feel the need to apologize. That way it kinda evens the disagreement out. click to expand
thank you for your input, but i dont think he feels the need to apologise, he upset me a lot before and he never said sorry it was always me staying in my corner until i calmed down and got back talking to him so maybe he thinks the same or thinks he didnt do sth wrong and i attacked him wrongly
but when the person doesnt show his attachment to you how am i suppose to think that he would have this reaction when all i wanted was his comfort click to expand
Maybe he doesn't feel the same way about you as you feel about him? and so by comforting you and letting you get away with that kind of behaviour, he feels as though he'd be giving you false hope?
I'm not sure if I'm just grasping at things or if what I'm saying has relevance. click to expand
maybe you are right, but why would he get jealous of other guys who talk to me, i have proof since he had a conversation with a guy telling him to back off because he was incomfortable
we never adressed this side of our interactions, but he would whisper that he adores me and that i am his weakness and when i ask him to repeat what he said he says he didnt say anyting
and we had a heart to heart conversation and what i understood is that he thinks he is not a good person and is afraid of making mistakes that would ruin everything between us that i would hate him and we wont even be friends, that s why i think he was taking his time, so if after all this he was misleading me... i dont know what to think anymore, he is so confusing , and what i hate the most about this situation is that i see myself in him and its really hard this distance between us, i hurt and to see him everyday is even harder, im seriously thinking about quitting my job....because i feel like i talk to a robot, he is convinced that i did that out of jealousy and the worst is that he have venus and mars in cancer so u can imagine how he is click to expand
Were you jealous? click to expandclick to expand
to be honest with you no i wasnt, but i felt neglected in some way we used to be so close, but when our company recruited new people we sort of drifted apart , but the link between us stayed intact and our bond is wonderful when all is good we tease each other a lot,we touch, he protects me and i him, he critisize me whenever he thinks i did sth inapproriate and i know it comes from a good place he was never disrespectful to me, he is a great guy with awesome qualities and i never thought things would get here
Posted by SmidgePosted by lilyofthevalley987Posted by SmidgePosted by lilyofthevalley987Posted by SmidgePosted by lilyofthevalley987Posted by SmidgePosted by lilyofthevalley987Posted by SmidgePosted by lilyofthevalley987Posted by Smidge
Now the story makes more sense.
That's all very eye roll worthy.
If he says he's "reevaluating"... 😬😬 He'll more than likely forgive you and you'll be friends again but.. trust takes a long time to rebuild for us, he'll likely be reevaluating you forever. 🙄
so does it mean that s it? he wont trust me again for thinking i was doing him a favor?
the tricky part is why did he forgive the others and not me?
since he doesnt show his feelings to me except when he is jealous, im not perfect but as i see it i am to him this creature who doesnt do wrong
i apologised to him and he listened but its seriously ridiculous and i suffer from it and i see he is miserable too
isnt there a way to fix this? i try to be patient but he gets on my nerves sometimes
and if he doesnt trust me again, i dont think i ll be welcomed in his life again or that he would give me a second chance click to expand
What others did he forgive?
I don't want to say he won't ever trust you, idk him maybe he will. This is coming from somebody who barely trusts anyone so maybe don't take it for gospel lol...
I feel like my Virgo moon is constantly questioning people's motives, so when somebody does something out of character it throws me off balance so much that I find it very difficult to stop questioning their actions from then on, and I'm always kinda wary of them.
That's where my opinion is coming from. In that situation, the best thing the other person can do is stop trying to explain themselves (makes me think they're trying to change my opinion of them to suit them) and just correct their behaviour. click to expand
actually it makes more sense as u put it, since he told me to go with the flow from now on,and that he hopes im willing to put effort to keep him in my life, since what i did was out of caracter and so not like me,i told him that im going through some hard times and maybe that my reaction through text seemed violent but i wasnt angry i was shaking, but when he is angry he stops using logic
and by others there was a friend of mine to who he was close to at a time she stopped talking to him on 3 occasions and he was the who took the initiative to retalk he told me that himself
and the other is the girl who had the argument with him after she apologised he talks to her now normally so this discrimimation that im going through is confusing to me
click to expand
Maybe he feels as though he was equally wrong in both those situations.
Maybe just say sorry and then leave the ball in his court, let him come to you and also feel the need to apologize. That way it kinda evens the disagreement out. click to expand
thank you for your input, but i dont think he feels the need to apologise, he upset me a lot before and he never said sorry it was always me staying in my corner until i calmed down and got back talking to him so maybe he thinks the same or thinks he didnt do sth wrong and i attacked him wrongly
but when the person doesnt show his attachment to you how am i suppose to think that he would have this reaction when all i wanted was his comfort click to expand
Maybe he doesn't feel the same way about you as you feel about him? and so by comforting you and letting you get away with that kind of behaviour, he feels as though he'd be giving you false hope?
I'm not sure if I'm just grasping at things or if what I'm saying has relevance. click to expand
maybe you are right, but why would he get jealous of other guys who talk to me, i have proof since he had a conversation with a guy telling him to back off because he was incomfortable
we never adressed this side of our interactions, but he would whisper that he adores me and that i am his weakness and when i ask him to repeat what he said he says he didnt say anyting
and we had a heart to heart conversation and what i understood is that he thinks he is not a good person and is afraid of making mistakes that would ruin everything between us that i would hate him and we wont even be friends, that s why i think he was taking his time, so if after all this he was misleading me... i dont know what to think anymore, he is so confusing , and what i hate the most about this situation is that i see myself in him and its really hard this distance between us, i hurt and to see him everyday is even harder, im seriously thinking about quitting my job....because i feel like i talk to a robot, he is convinced that i did that out of jealousy and the worst is that he have venus and mars in cancer so u can imagine how he is click to expand
Were you jealous? click to expand
to be honest with you no i wasnt, but i felt neglected in some way we used to be so close, but when our company recruited new people we sort of drifted apart , but the link between us stayed intact and our bond is wonderful when all is good we tease each other a lot,we touch, he protects me and i him, he critisize me whenever he thinks i did sth inapproriate and i know it comes from a good place he was never disrespectful to me, he is a great guy with awesome qualities and i never thought things would get here click to expand
So, would you say you were somewhat insecure about your friendship at that time? He never necessarily changed his actions, but due to the drift you became more sensitive. Meaning actually, he didn't really do anything wrong other than fail to recognize your insecurity and act how you expected him to. click to expandclick to expand
well actually its a mirrored situation, i started feeling this way after recognazing his jealousy towards the guy i mentioned and others, and believe me when i say that i dont put any expectations on him, im easy live and let live kind of a woman,but he says im complicated
also i saw that he stopped talking to the other female cowerkers which is not sth i wanted, and i told him yesterday that i dont want him to change
its like he wants me to believe sth else and not what i see and feel , and i try not to let this influence our friendship and act normal, but when he is jealous he leave the room and become cold and distant with me,if it wasnt an occurence i wouldnt talk about this, and a friend noticed this also.
his friends look at me with this look like they know sth i dont,and a few weeks ago he talked to about how a person can suffocate his feelings, and that he can look but dont see when it comes to feelings and can detach from them, but since he is indirect with me, i dont know how to approch the situation to find out what is really going on between us
his friends look at me with this look like they know sth i dont,and a few weeks ago he talked to about how a person can suffocate his feelings, and that he can look but dont see when it comes to feelings and can detach from them, but since he is indirect with me, i dont know how to approch the situation to find out what is really going on between us
Posted by SmidgePosted by lilyofthevalley987Posted by SmidgePosted by lilyofthevalley987Posted by SmidgePosted by lilyofthevalley987Posted by SmidgePosted by lilyofthevalley987Posted by SmidgePosted by lilyofthevalley987Posted by SmidgePosted by lilyofthevalley987Posted by Smidge
Now the story makes more sense.
That's all very eye roll worthy.
If he says he's "reevaluating"... 😬😬 He'll more than likely forgive you and you'll be friends again but.. trust takes a long time to rebuild for us, he'll likely be reevaluating you forever. 🙄
so does it mean that s it? he wont trust me again for thinking i was doing him a favor?
the tricky part is why did he forgive the others and not me?
since he doesnt show his feelings to me except when he is jealous, im not perfect but as i see it i am to him this creature who doesnt do wrong
i apologised to him and he listened but its seriously ridiculous and i suffer from it and i see he is miserable too
isnt there a way to fix this? i try to be patient but he gets on my nerves sometimes
and if he doesnt trust me again, i dont think i ll be welcomed in his life again or that he would give me a second chance click to expand
What others did he forgive?
I don't want to say he won't ever trust you, idk him maybe he will. This is coming from somebody who barely trusts anyone so maybe don't take it for gospel lol...
I feel like my Virgo moon is constantly questioning people's motives, so when somebody does something out of character it throws me off balance so much that I find it very difficult to stop questioning their actions from then on, and I'm always kinda wary of them.
That's where my opinion is coming from. In that situation, the best thing the other person can do is stop trying to explain themselves (makes me think they're trying to change my opinion of them to suit them) and just correct their behaviour. click to expand
actually it makes more sense as u put it, since he told me to go with the flow from now on,and that he hopes im willing to put effort to keep him in my life, since what i did was out of caracter and so not like me,i told him that im going through some hard times and maybe that my reaction through text seemed violent but i wasnt angry i was shaking, but when he is angry he stops using logic
and by others there was a friend of mine to who he was close to at a time she stopped talking to him on 3 occasions and he was the who took the initiative to retalk he told me that himself
and the other is the girl who had the argument with him after she apologised he talks to her now normally so this discrimimation that im going through is confusing to me
click to expand
Maybe he feels as though he was equally wrong in both those situations.
Maybe just say sorry and then leave the ball in his court, let him come to you and also feel the need to apologize. That way it kinda evens the disagreement out. click to expand
thank you for your input, but i dont think he feels the need to apologise, he upset me a lot before and he never said sorry it was always me staying in my corner until i calmed down and got back talking to him so maybe he thinks the same or thinks he didnt do sth wrong and i attacked him wrongly
but when the person doesnt show his attachment to you how am i suppose to think that he would have this reaction when all i wanted was his comfort click to expand
Maybe he doesn't feel the same way about you as you feel about him? and so by comforting you and letting you get away with that kind of behaviour, he feels as though he'd be giving you false hope?
I'm not sure if I'm just grasping at things or if what I'm saying has relevance. click to expand
maybe you are right, but why would he get jealous of other guys who talk to me, i have proof since he had a conversation with a guy telling him to back off because he was incomfortable
we never adressed this side of our interactions, but he would whisper that he adores me and that i am his weakness and when i ask him to repeat what he said he says he didnt say anyting
and we had a heart to heart conversation and what i understood is that he thinks he is not a good person and is afraid of making mistakes that would ruin everything between us that i would hate him and we wont even be friends, that s why i think he was taking his time, so if after all this he was misleading me... i dont know what to think anymore, he is so confusing , and what i hate the most about this situation is that i see myself in him and its really hard this distance between us, i hurt and to see him everyday is even harder, im seriously thinking about quitting my job....because i feel like i talk to a robot, he is convinced that i did that out of jealousy and the worst is that he have venus and mars in cancer so u can imagine how he is click to expand
Were you jealous? click to expand
to be honest with you no i wasnt, but i felt neglected in some way we used to be so close, but when our company recruited new people we sort of drifted apart , but the link between us stayed intact and our bond is wonderful when all is good we tease each other a lot,we touch, he protects me and i him, he critisize me whenever he thinks i did sth inapproriate and i know it comes from a good place he was never disrespectful to me, he is a great guy with awesome qualities and i never thought things would get here click to expand
So, would you say you were somewhat insecure about your friendship at that time? He never necessarily changed his actions, but due to the drift you became more sensitive. Meaning actually, he didn't really do anything wrong other than fail to recognize your insecurity and act how you expected him to. click to expand
well actually its a mirrored situation, i started feeling this way after recognazing his jealousy towards the guy i mentioned and others, and believe me when i say that i dont put any expectations on him, im easy live and let live kind of a woman,but he says im complicated
also i saw that he stopped talking to the other female cowerkers which is not sth i wanted, and i told him yesterday that i dont want him to change click to expand
You started feeling what way?
Maybe he's trying to guilt trip you a little bit. I'd hold your ground if you were upset by his actions, but just be willing to also see fault in your actions and be able to genuinely apologize for them. click to expandclick to expand
feeling insecure,
as i stepped back and thought about it, i could ve handled the situation differently, i have a lot going on in my life recently, and i think him not talking to me was the drop that spilled the glass, usually i just ignore it and if he didnt want to talk its not the end of the world,but as i say there wasnt any anger just despair, usually i am a well put woman but i reached a breaking point,its not his fault my life is messy nor its for him to fix it, but with all the negativitty around me, i wanted to focus on sth positive (him)
Posted by Smidgei want things to developp yes
@lilyofthevalley987
Maybe just take a step back until you feel more stable. I don't know what else I can say to help.
Do you want a relationship with this guy?
thank you so much for your time and help i really appreciated it
Posted by SmidgePosted by lilyofthevalley987Posted by Smidgei want things to developp yes
@lilyofthevalley987
Maybe just take a step back until you feel more stable. I don't know what else I can say to help.
Do you want a relationship with this guy?
thank you so much for your time and help i really appreciated it click to expand
No problem, I've nothing else to do except study and I'm trying to avoid that as much as possible. 😬
Does he know you want things to develop? click to expandclick to expand
LOL best of luck to you in between,
like i said he avoids talking about what is going on between us,its like he maybe afraid or sth.its like we do 1 step forward hes happy chatty himself and then sth happen(like he gets jealous, or i do sth to irritate him) and we go days without talking, he gests clampy and distant
so at this point its just a pattern, i dont know how to push things forward since i think he is not ready
sometimes i dont know how to communicate with him.for exemple im there for him everytime he needs me and one time i put another person( a female friend ) and i saw from his face that he was uspet when i told him that we had an argument for 2 days it was like talking to a wall
Posted by ImagicationPosted by Mhmmm
If the roles were reversed the Virgo moon would’ve been just as upset.. The double standards is strong with this moon.
Just pretend it never happened and he’ll come around soon enough.
The Cancer Mars will only ever pretend to have come around and pretend to mutually pretend it never happened until then.
He'll throw it back inevitably if it's left alone.
...and if he learns the truth that he was asked to repeat things that were heard clearly instead of actually acknowledging and responding to what he said, the present situation multiplied by a factor of thirty will have to be dealt with. click to expandclick to expand
between i have a cancer mars too.but his dynamics are different from mine since i ler go of hurt if the person apologised and i put it behind me if i love the person
but i already did that and at this point i didnt hear from him that he actually forgived me but he said it passed even though he is not talking like usual
can elaborate plz? Any input is much appreciated
Posted by SmidgePosted by lilyofthevalley987Posted by SmidgePosted by lilyofthevalley987Posted by Smidge
@lilyofthevalley987
Maybe just take a step back until you feel more stable. I don't know what else I can say to help.
Do you want a relationship with this guy?
i want things to developp yes
thank you so much for your time and help i really appreciated it click to expand
No problem, I've nothing else to do except study and I'm trying to avoid that as much as possible. 😬
Does he know you want things to develop? click to expand
LOL best of luck to you in between,
like i said he avoids talking about what is going on between us,its like he maybe afraid or sth.its like we do 1 step forward hes happy chatty himself and then sth happen(like he gets jealous, or i do sth to irritate him) and we go days without talking, he gests clampy and distant
so at this point its just a pattern, i dont know how to push things forward since i think he is not ready
sometimes i dont know how to communicate with him.for exemple im there for him everytime he needs me and one time i put another person( a female friend ) and i saw from his face that he was uspet when i told him that we had an argument for 2 days it was like talking to a wall click to expand
Yeah I get the whole wall up, wall down thing can be super annoying. I've always said I'd hate to date myself...just wait patiently for us to chuck you a ladder. 😉
Or don't, you could be waiting a lifetime. click to expandclick to expand
so i understand by this that u say that this placement is difficult to have?
In my opinion each person is unique in his own way
Yes he have double standers and he gets annoyed sometimes.but mostly he keeps to himself and have a difficult time expressing his feelings when he is overwheled its like he cant believe he feels them or that there anyone who would understands what he feel or would bother listen.i told him on numerous occasions that i accept him like he is.but after what happened i think that its like i confirmed what he said by saying i ll give him space
he shows this tough exterior but inside he is so sensitive and have a huge heart but he wouldnt let me get to him because he is afraid i ll leave
@Smidge
there is a situation that came up and i need your advice plz
There is this new girl at work and she started forming a liking to him.as i see it he s not all that interested in her but she take every opportunity she can to get his attention like ask him lower her chair or with sth she doesnt get for work she asks him...etc
and he oblige but all this making me unconfortable and i dont know how to ask about what is going on between them since we are talking again but i feel like our bond is still fragile at this point after not talking to me for 9 days i feel like he is cautious
on sunday i asked randomly about her and he got on his guards and started explaining that she asks for help only and that he told her to depend on herself and i understood from his reaction that he doesnt want another problem between us
but she persists as i see it and if i go talk to the girl he may think im jealous again
My friend told me that she might of asked for his number but shes not sure
how can i approch this situation without making a fool of myself?
there is a situation that came up and i need your advice plz
There is this new girl at work and she started forming a liking to him.as i see it he s not all that interested in her but she take every opportunity she can to get his attention like ask him lower her chair or with sth she doesnt get for work she asks him...etc
and he oblige but all this making me unconfortable and i dont know how to ask about what is going on between them since we are talking again but i feel like our bond is still fragile at this point after not talking to me for 9 days i feel like he is cautious
on sunday i asked randomly about her and he got on his guards and started explaining that she asks for help only and that he told her to depend on herself and i understood from his reaction that he doesnt want another problem between us
but she persists as i see it and if i go talk to the girl he may think im jealous again
My friend told me that she might of asked for his number but shes not sure
how can i approch this situation without making a fool of myself?
Posted by SmidgePosted by lilyofthevalley987
@Smidge
there is a situation that came up and i need your advice plz
There is this new girl at work and she started forming a liking to him.as i see it he s not all that interested in her but she take every opportunity she can to get his attention like ask him lower her chair or with sth she doesnt get for work she asks him...etc
and he oblige but all this making me unconfortable and i dont know how to ask about what is going on between them since we are talking again but i feel like our bond is still fragile at this point after not talking to me for 9 days i feel like he is cautious
on sunday i asked randomly about her and he got on his guards and started explaining that she asks for help only and that he told her to depend on herself and i understood from his reaction that he doesnt want another problem between us
but she persists as i see it and if i go talk to the girl he may think im jealous again
My friend told me that she might of asked for his number but shes not sure
how can i approch this situation without making a fool of myself?
You can't control the way somebody acts towards him, he can't control the way somebody acts towards him either.
Virgo moons are naturally helpful, so it's not unusual for people to ask for help from them, and sometimes take advantage of that... Or maybe she is interested.
Either way, it doesn't matter, atm he's fair game. You're not in a relationship, he has no commitment to you.
I guess you just gotta up your game. 😉
Nagging, getting jealous or mad at him isn't going to help you. click to expandclick to expand
ok thank you.i guess i ll just let it be. Regardless of what i feel for him .i am not a woman who fight for a man and if she get his attention she can keep him
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