Can anybody give me some advice, please?

Hi. My boyfriend and I have been together for 14 months. He's 28. I'm 30. We still live with our parents, in our country it is not that bad seen to keep on living with your parents until 30. He always says he needs his own space and he has declared he will do it when he is 30. We share a lot, get on well and have lots of things in common. Of course we hace our fights but they are nor trascendental. Last night we were talking about living alone and he said: "If there is someone with me it would be good, but if not, I'd be ok alone" . His sentence made me feel very sad because I thought: someone? I was not expecting he said we would get marry but I certainly did not expect he just said SOMEONE. I would have been ok he he had said: If one day you want to move with me it would be great.... But instead he said SOMEONE. I mean, I would have expected he sais something that made me feel included in his future, but what I felt was he did not think something serious about me. I didn't say anything (of course, because I'm not going to propose what doesn't come directly from him) Once I read you should let a pisces make his own decisions, so I am never mandatory besides being a Cancer. He might have noticed my confussion face because I started crying (couln't avoid that and we were also talking about some problems in my family, so I could hide my true emotions a little) and said: "Of course if I lived alone I would invite you to come to spend somedays with me. If you were living alone, wouldn't you invited me? And I said: of course. And that was it, we kept on talking about other stuff. My question is: Do you think he doesn't really inlcude me in his future? I feel deeply sad because I would like to have a family in some years. I know I am not young but in this stage of my life I just want to enjoy life and travel to some places. But in a future of course I would like to have my own family with him!!! I didn't say anything because I consider this must be his proposal and he has to really want it to move together in a future. What do you think? Today morning I woke up and thought: If he doesn't see me in his future why should I care about this relationship. I feel upset and sad. Please, if you could give me an advice I would really appreciate it.

In moments like that is when you instead of hiding your feelings you say what you want and open things for discussion.

I am not sure what he wants. Everything seems very much in the air. He may be hiding his real feelings too and expecting you to react to his comments

If you want a family you don’t have many years left if you want to have a child the traditional way.

Speak up.

Tell him you want a family and what your plans are for the future. No sense in prolonging that conversation and wasting more of your time with someone if your end goals aren’t the same.

Thank you all for your answers... one thing is true: I should have asked what I want to know. I'll be careful not to shut up but speak up.

Woof

Paragraphs please.

And I'm betting that he was trying not to be presumptuous. He might have put that out as a feeler statement to gauge your reaction. Is he insecure, or expressed insecurities?

We were talking about a situation I have in my family and suddenly we started talking about living "out" of ouf parent's house because we are more than old to keep on living with them. He said that we're still there because we don't have problems with our parents. He has talked to me many times about what he wants to do in the future... business, hobbies and so on. But he has always referred to his "flat for a single person" (I don't know how to say that in English). Then he said:

"Your problem is that you don't see the future. You need to know what you want to do first and then do it. You are in your confort zone. Well, we are." Then I replied

"I may not know what I exactly want, but I do know what I would like to have in my future. I only need a plan and do it. But it seems so difficult. Sometimes I'd like to have my own space because you know I love art and I would like to be painting or writing or playing music, and I don't have that space in my parent's house. But I wouldn't know what to do alone. I have never been alone and I wouldn't like to be alone." Then he said:

"I have thought that maybe I can rent somewhere just to live on weekends, then be in my parent's house. Or stay three days and three days in my house and my parent's house. You know, you can prove what you can do first and mve little by little. It would be good if there is someone with me, but if I am alone, it's also ok.

Then I had my eyes about to cry, Then he said is everything ok? And I said: yes! But he kept on asking. Then I started crying and I said that I was thinking about all the things I have to do and then I started talking about my parents and he said: "Dont' change the topic" And I said "No, no no, I am not changing. It is just that I was thinking of all of it, so you were saying that you are going to live alone before you are 30. (this is how I hide my emotions)

And he said: Yes. Of course if I lived alone I would invite you to come. And if you were alone, wouldn't you invite me to visit you? Maybe you'll be the first to live alone. And I said: yes, of course!

Then he said he will support me and help me in case I need something, and he can give pieces of advice. It was like a "Count on me"

I must said that I was the first to talk to him when I first met him. The first to tel him I liked her, the first to say I love you, and once I said: I won't be the first to say we should move together (above all because I need to be convinced he really wants it and he won't regret it in a future. I don't want him to feel it compulsory. He doesn't believe in marrigae because he says it is a contract and I agree with him. When I met him he was on and off with an ex cancer too who was very toxic. Then I stopped talking to him because he was "busy" but he looked for me three months later and he said he wanted to start from zero with me and see if we were the right to share our paths. He is a very nice person and we have a good chemistry,, he is affective, and he has made his efforts to give me security in his love and company. I've met all his family. And generally we have a very good relationship. Once he said Life paid him with me all what Life owed him. And as far as I know I'm also the first girl who goes directly on him saying I like him. I am very supportive with him because I really love him. God! He is just amazing. Sweet, protective, intelligent... One week ago we went to the beach and we spent a really good time. He has never disappeared and when we have arguments he patiently talks to me and says we would never hurt each other because words are never forgotten. And basically. But deeply inside he is independent, he is not that clingy and he knows there's nothing more difficult than death because once he lost a brother and it was hard to understand he would never be brought back to life. So he says everything can happen and everybody can go. And I have told him those words make me feel insecure because it's like if he didn't care if I stay or go, but he says it is just the way he understands the flow of life. And basically this is part of my story with this pisces... sorry for writung too much. and thanks for supporting me.

I have no idea. I’m a cancer looking for answers myself but reading all of that makes me think he loves you! It sounds to me like he still depends on his parents, emotionally. Maybe he is scared to leave them. Is one of them sick?

The other thing is that it might not mean he doesn’t see a future with you, he probably just wants to take the right steps, slowly, and not ruin the potential your reletionship has by making a quick decision and doing something you’ve both not done/experienced yet.

He may want to see what he can handle being on his own first to see if he feels confident to provide for himself and then to provide for you too. Think about it from a different perspective.