Confrontation versus Justification

There's a difference ... please don't confuse the two.

To choose not to justify ourselves to you because we don't believe we owe another person an answer for what we do or say, and so choose to swim away .. isn't the same thing as being afraid, nor lacking the strength or intelligence to confront you.

Thank you !!!!

Oh, and that wasn't intended for any particular person .. just talking to the open crowd, in general.

Ooooh... bad Pisces!!! *shakes finger at P-Angel*

ok

"Did you get angry with someone?"


No, Moro ... this was just put out there for people to understand this difference.

When I read about people trying to relate with Pisces, oftentimes, what they are conveying is that when there's an issue with Pisces, and they call us on the carpet for something .. we'll back off and not confront the issue with them. And from another persons perspective, they are viewing this as us being non-confrontational .. because of various reasons, such as: weakness, fright, wishy-washy, lacking the mental capacity, etc.

And my point was .. we don't feel as though we have to justify ourselves to another person, most of the time, and has nothing to do with not having what it takes to confront an issue if we choose. Most times, when people say we're non-confrontational .. what they are meaning is that they put us on the spot to be accountable to that other person and explain ourselves to them ...

Not to confuse the two .. we WILL confront .. we will NOT justify to a person who is insecure, so then turns around and expects us to justify to them because they are in doubt.

"Happiness should be something you take into a relationship not something you take from it."

And this is the basis of which this thread was started. Many people expect that happiness should be given to them from the other and when they feel in doubt, they enforce confrontation so the other person is left with the responsibility of justifying to them what they are doing to make them happy.

Pisces won't do that ....

"That all consuming "in love" feeling is just chemicals and hormones drawing two people together in the hopes that they breed. It fades. That is a fact."

Well thats depressing 😢...Guess ill just stay single forever then! lol

Ohh okay bijou. See, i thought you meant when people have feelings for eachother it ALWAYS fades, as in "nothing lasts" or something...that sounds depressing to me lol.

"How could you develop and get stronger if you don't even know what you did wrong or what went wrong?"

Moro, you are looking for other people to behave/speak in ways in which will determine how you are suppose to feel. And this is the justifying thing that I'm talking about.

According to the above quote .. it infers that a person doesn't have any "will" to have it's own power for development or strength in life, rather, needs justification from the other person so they know that they are/did wrong .. in this scenerio, the person will always be hurt and feel used and remain within the same place/not evolving.

It's looking for a reason to put a blame on that something wrong was done so that there was a reason .... if a reason can be found as being the culprit, then there is no growth because the person put everything off on whatever this reason is.

"To open the door and just leave without never say why .. is a very selfish act. Shows no feelings, it is evil. YOu are forcing some feelings of guilt to the other person."

You seemed to be focused on being abandoned and that it is evil to just walk away once the relationship has run it's course .. and the thing is Moro, if a person doens't realize that their relationship is in such dire straights that one of the partners is ready to walk .. then what good would justifying do anyway?

This is the whole problem with unconditional love, this is the problem with this all emcompassing, walk to the ends of the earth feeling that people erroneously believe is true love .. they are blind, this belief in loving unconditionally made them blind to the fact that the other person was unhappy .. so, when one leaves, the other is left hanging because they can't figure out why there was a problem in the first place .. because afterall, they are loved unconditionally, nothing should be bad enough to want to leave.

To believe in love this way .. then certainly, when someone is ready to walk away from the relationship, you won't be able to recognize what has transpired that motivated the other in wanting to end the partnership and therefore will need to have justification to put the blame on ..

"The fact is that the dark side of things - that which does not kill us makes us stronger - could turn out to be the best thing for you.

If you feel sad, hurt, angry, outraged, etc for being abandoned or left - then feel it. But blaming the other person for how you deal with being left is your own guilt trip."


Agreed, bijou ... I suppose it all boils down to unconditional love. I suppose that unconditional love will need justification/confrontation in order to make sense out of it .. this kind of belief has to be reinforced through reasons why it's there, it needs continual convincing that it is true.

Thing is true love doesn't need to be constantly reinforced .. it believes, trusts, respects and knows ..

"people get offended if you won't pay to them attention"


Personally, I see this as an insecurity .. the person doesn't have enough love for themselves, self-esteem is suffering, they need validation from another person so they can feel worthy within the other person, rather than for themselves.

With a person who gets offended if they don't RECIEVE attention, from my perspective, would have to find another person who would love them unconditionally, so they would have justification to continue living without finding the growth necessary to gain self-confidence.

"If I am with a man and just opens the door and leaves without saying why then I will feel for ever hurt."



I suppose it's just hard for me to relate to this because it's never happened to me. Has relationships ended? Yes. But, they all went like this:

I was aware of my partner, so, I knew way before the split that it was ending .. so, there was no "walking out".

"I don't look to other people to tell me what is right and what is wrong. I work that out for myself."

ditto that .. sometimes, it may take a while and I might step in into the same fire more times .. but, whether it was right or wrong still comes from within and that's where it has to be sorted.

The title of the thread makes absolutely no sense, whatsoever.

The two terms are not comparable in the way you've attempted to use them. lol

No shit Sherlock .. that was the whole point, lol

hahahaa


'Course it was, doll. 😉