Family Dispute

What would you do in this situation?

My mother died and left all her possessions to me to distribute to the surviving children at my discretion. There's was one particular item that she was adamant about .. do NOT give this item to one of my brothers, under any circumstances.

This one item is what the brother wants .. has thrown a complete fit about it, has called me every name in the book, uses anything at his disposal to manipulate me into caving.

The result .. I've lost a mother and a brother. By not giving him this item, our sibling connection has been permantly severed and he will not bend off his position.

What would you do in this scenerio? Would you honour your mother's last wishes with her property? Or, would you give the brother what he wants to continue having a brother?

She died in 2003, pp, and that's what I've done so far .. but, the manipulation of my brother has taken a serious turn and I'm considering options on how to deal with the situation.


What happened with your boyfriend, pp? He has siblings who are doing this very thing with him?

Thanks, Blingy .. that's what I'm doing and I can be pretty damn stubborn, lol

The problem now is that my son is ready to draw his Stinger .. and God help my brother then. My instincts would tell me to stand by my son .. at the same time, even more family problems are caused and I want to difuse the situation, rather than perpetuate it.

Yet, I don't want to cave and give in .. if I give in, then that will defy my Scorpio son if he stands to defend, to protect my honour, for honouring my mother .. it's a viscous circle, and I know the way to stop it is by giving my brother what he wants BEFORE my son strikes.

i would honor mother's wish.
moreover,your brother lost his part the moment he broke the sibling connection over just a piece of property.
i mean,is the connection THAT weak? it means that the connection was not strong in the very begining from his part. so it was bound to happen. now or somtime in the future over another thing.
if he is not bothered about his own mother's last wish,and doesn't respect the brother-sister bond either,then its his loss another relationship,not yours.

pa,even if you give this thing to your brother before your scorpio son strikes,your son will feel extremely hurt by this.
i have also known scorpios from close quarters. don't do it.because what you want to stop is already under progress.

You got it wrong, Blingy 🙂

It's my brother who is bitching about it not going his way .. I've been the warrior defending my position, as expressed by my mother.

You're both right though .. the issue is already under way, and I can't stop it, even if I gave my brother what he wants.

so are you or are you not going to give?

i say don't give in.now you have two people whose honor you have to respect>your mom and your son.

I know I have to stand tough, Devil .. so, I won't give in. It's just I am the type of person who wants to consider every angle, especially as it pertains to my own actions, self-awareness, and sometimes we can't see ourselves and the actions we do .. so, I came in here to see others point of view in this situation.

Thanks for the input .. I'll stand by my son and continue to defend and honour my mother, as I have been doing.

pp, why have they cut him from the will?

Maybe the sisters were just saying that to piss him off, and it's not true, at all.

Sorry, Blingy 🙂 I read wrong.


I want to do the right thing, and I thought maybe I've blinded myself and that would go against what I stand for. Thanks for everyone's insight into how this would be handled from your perspective. 🙂

I'm just scard, is all.

It's a complicated situation which has been building for decades, and I'm terrified that if these two men meet face to face with vengence, that one of them will die .. literally.

That may sound dramatic .. but, it's the truth. The problem with my brother and his family is that bad .. and I'm afraid that if this pent up anger is allowed to be released in such a way .. that it will end, for real.

pp, to answer your question .. my relationship with my brother before this has not been good. He was disowned from his family a long time ago, for what he did to his only child.

I'm thinking now that I should just give him what he wants .. just end it. Just let him take what he wants with no more tension.

I don't know ...

pp, sorry for what happened to your boyfriend. I hope he is able to fix whatever it is that happened between him and his mother. Both of my parents died without them and my brother mending the bridge. You don't want that to happen to your boyfriend .. it's not worth the pain. Whatever it was that happened .. I hope they find resolution.

I'm thinking that too, notso, even if my son gets angry ..

It's what the item represents, as well as, justice ... it's a long story

I'm barren and my son is not my biological child .. he is my nephew, my brothers son (this same brother) .. who abused him when he was a boy, and that's how him and me became mother and son.

So .. we took his son away from him, and since I was childless, and desperately wanted one .. I've raised him from a very young age. My family was outraged at my brother. Actually, the problem with my brother started in the 70's .. this is just referencing the issue at hand.

The item in which is in question is the engagment ring my father gave my mother in 1948. My father was also a Scorpio and forbade my brother to inheret anything from the family. From my father's eyes, my brother deserves nothing. My brother detested my father for this .. and so, since this ring is a representation of the family unity .. to give it would also defy my late father, as well. My brother has been forbidden to get this ring under any circumstances .. it holds special meaning to the family as a whole, which my brother was deemed no longer apart of since he had forsaken his only child. My other brother (also Scorpio) tells me to stand firm, no matter what. That's easy for him to say, he's not the one facing this ..

My husband believes that to let my son stand against my brother (his father) in this situation, would allow him to vent off his feelings of abuse and abandonment, to which he has never faced. He resents his father for hurting him and has let it pass, an amazing feat for a Scorp .. this way, he can strike against him, under a different cause, and perhaps still be able to get out his pain.

It's just his pain is so damn bad .. that it terrifies me of what might happen once he lets his vengence out that has been building his whole life. And since I'm the person who has stood by him, trusted him and raised him .. he feels like it's his duty to protect me, since I did him. So, it's not just anger that will come out .. he feels like he should get justice for the whole family.

Fate ... my brother's karma has finally come full circle .. the very person to whom he betrayed, is the one who is now ready to destroy him for the sake of not only himself, his whole family, also. We rescued him from a very abusive situation, against our own family member and my son is a Scorpio! He will honour those who do him. And, I'm scard. Rarely do I admit that .. but, I am.

And my brother has wanted this for a very long time. He started badgering my mother for it before she died. My mother believes that the only reason he wants it is because of what it represents to the family and to have possession of it would mean to him that he has gotten revenge for disowning him.

She believes, as do I, as does everyone else who is still alive .. that this is my brothers way of getting his own justice. He just wants to continue hurting the family because of his own guilt.

This ring has been passed around to family members and at one time, after my father died, the brother had possession of it for a short period of time .. but, at that time, my mother had a change of heart, which the brother took advantage of her heart, and the ring was taken back.

So, this went off and on for many years .. however, when mom faced her death bed, she honoured my dad's wishes and told me the final word is for him not to have it.

My other brother was outraged when mom had a change of heart. When the Cancer brother (the one this is about) had the ring for that short period of time, it was the Scorpio brother who stood up .. dad said "NO" and he defended that position.

Mom was badgered .. that's why she caved. The Scorpio brother will come to the aid of the rest of the family. However, my Virgo husband has been ready to throttle my brother for a long time. I know he will stand up too.

I'll hang tough .. I have all kinds of power around me .. two Scorpio's and a Virgo .. I just don't want anyone to get killed.

This is just about fear .. in the end, my late mother and father will be honored .. my son won't be forsaken by me, ever.

Thanks for listening, Blingy 🙂

Thanks, archer and pp .. I know he needs to be cut loose once and for all .. he has by everyone except me. You're right, archer, an item, no matter it's value isn't worth blood being spilled. That's why I was so freaked out about it this morning, trying to figure out what I should do to protect the well-being of my son.

But, he's not a boy, anylonger .. he's 26, a man. And I was thinking that maybe the reason why he's getting so worked up over it is because he really needs it within himself to face his demons. And maybe he's feeling that if he makes his stand under different pretenses, then he will be able to face him, without being scard. Not scard physically, scard emotionally .. this is his father. That can't be easy.

Anyway .. I'm just going to ride it out for a few more days and see if it is still mounting, or if some steam has been dissolved a tad and then check my options again.

Thanks for the wise words.

Capgirl .. that is an option, one I should seriously consider. He won't face his older and bigger brother .. he is intimidated by him, always has been and he would likely back down.

So, maybe that's the right thing to do .. but, isn't that putting it off into someone else's hands? That makes me out to be coward, and perhaps, that's what I am, for here I am considering it. Maybe I should call the family together .. maybe we should make a decision as a group, instead of me trying to figure it out by myself (and you guys).

That sounds like the right thing to do .. thanks for leading me down that path, Capgirl. 🙂

"I'm thinking now that I should just give him what he wants .. just end it. Just let him take what he wants with no more tension."



It's terrible position to be in. 😢 I would say stick to your Mother's wishes, but i would be concerned that a showdown between your son and your brother may happen anyway. Perhaps it's your son that you need to focus on.