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Thetis
@Thetis
18 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 2181 · Topics: 82
.....a really bad black eye lol.

Best part of it is I am pretty much against violence, but tonight I was involved in some.

Cut a long story short, my best friend's boyfriends son's girlfriend (hope that makes sense) was trying it on with me and my best friends mate. OK so he was lapping it up, but whatever she is a skank full stop.

So it all kicks off, and my friends mans son says to her "you're nothing but a black bastard" which makes me sick to my stomach, and her man ALLOWS it! Anyway, me being me went mental, goes out after them shouting my mouth off, next thing I know the girlfriend and her 3 mates have me on the ground punching lumps out of me.

Now pain I can take lol, but my face is a mess and then some. My parents get back from their holiday in Italy tomorrow (I'm meant to be going up for dinner) and I start my new job on Wednesday.

With a face like the elephant man. 😢

Anyway, what bothers me most is that I can tell my friend is going to take all her mans excuses and take him back. The man is SCUM! I'm worried about her. I said forget me, what his son said to you is fucked up, and your man let him say it, and said fuck all, siding with his son. I'd rather have a sore face at least knowing it was the final straw and she's done with him, than watch her let him continue to treat her like crap.

He broke her nose about a month ago btw, and I only heard this from someone else a few days ago. She loves this man soooo much and is so blind to it that she can't even tell her own mates, cos she knows exactly what they will say.

I know the script, seen it time and time again with women putting up with this shit, but it breaks my heart to see it with a good mate, and no that it doesn't matter what I say to her, she has to see it on her own.

P.S. anyone got any good tips on how to get a black eye swelling down quick?

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Thetis
@Thetis
18 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 2181 · Topics: 82
The thing is SS, where I live is really rough. Getting the police involved means shit basically, except that maybe you find your windows panned in after a few days.

Nah, I know everyone in this town, that doesn't really concern me. In fact, by the time everyone I know has seen my face, questions will be asked, and then shit will go down.

Even if I wanted to, can't do much about it.

I'm just sad because of my pal, she'll just keep taking it. I don't care what was done to me what was said to her is unforgivable.
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ScorpSuperior
@ScorpSuperior
18 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 3 · Posts: 10583 · Topics: 206
oh wow

and i thought *i* came from a rough part of town. sheesh, you're a real trooper. one tough cookie, you are.

i understand how you feel about your mate. and yes, it sucks the way she's being treated. it looks like that's her choice, and that it may not change for some time.

but you shouldn't have to be subjected to such brutality. if that's what she decides to accept into her life, i pray that she finds the strength and courage to break free. but as a friend, she must feel guilty that you got mixed into all of the nonsense.

you're a true friend. because i would have distance myself after realizing the (low) class of ppl my friend was involved with...
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Thetis
@Thetis
18 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 2181 · Topics: 82
Well I normally walk away SS, but tonight was just the last straw for me. I can take all sorts of shit for myself, but where family and friends are concerned no way.

And I've already said to my friend if she takes him back whatever, but that I will never break breath with him or be in his company again and that I will not be back in her house while he is still living there.

I just hope she sees sense.

As it stands though, all hell is going to break loose. I'd really rather not be a part of it at this point, I have my new job to look forward to, I'm trying to get out of this shithole.
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cappysweetie
@cappysweetie
19 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 2 · Posts: 23862 · Topics: 499
And CS hey hon, my mate is what you would call mixed, her mum is english but her dad was jamaican. And her mans son said that to her. And her man LET him.

WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, I just re-read whats you typed above and now this. WHAT THE HELL, why didn't he DO SOMETHING!!!

So he just sat there like a dick on a string and let his son say that to her ——? What the fyck!!!

See, I can't take stuff like that. I'm not good with it at all. And your friend is with this guy for what reason?

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cappysweetie
@cappysweetie
19 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 2 · Posts: 23862 · Topics: 499
I just saw the pic, OOOOOOHHHHH THESIS. How many jumped you, three—?? You are an awesome friend and you did the right thing for standing up for your friend. Any kind of racial shit pisses me the fyck off!!! I HATE IT!!!! That's why I don't fycking talk about it. Its irrelevant, we are all people but you have these assholes that don't see things that way. I don't like racial shit! lol, there was some thread created on the Relationship board about race and people were making their negative comments; I was thinking, "Get the hell out of here with this shit, do you people really believe what you are typing"

It's like UGH! Grinds my nerves to no end, I'm so against. Too bad I wasn't there Thesis, I could've helped you 😢
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ScorpSuperior
@ScorpSuperior
18 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 3 · Posts: 10583 · Topics: 206
cappysweetie

i think you mean to say *racist rather than *racial

second of all, i think you are being naive. to say that race/ethnicity is irrelevant, is like dismissing culture altogether, and essentially, history. if you don't want others to talk about, you wish to sweep it under a rug. shushing issues doesn't make them go away- it exacerbates them.

furthermore, if you are talking about the thread on the relationship board that i think you are talking about, you contributed just as negatively to that thread as anyone else. in fact, you'd supported a comment that was clearly racially insensitive (even if unintended). it helps to think about what you read as you're reading to avoid misinterpreting.
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ScorpseeksPisces
@ScorpseeksPisces
17 Years500+ PostsScorpio

Comments: 0 · Posts: 905 · Topics: 4
Jeezus H Christ girl, whiskey tango foxtrot?

That is some bullshyte, tell you what, give them a free holiday to Florida as a faux peace offering and I'll make sure they don't return, still got some room for a few more bodies in the backyard.

You really need new friends though, no way does that happen to my friends in my presence. Anyhow, no preaching, glad you're reasonably okay could always have been worse.
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cappysweetie
@cappysweetie
19 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 2 · Posts: 23862 · Topics: 499
lol, sorry S.S., I see things differently, I don't see things the way others do. And I meant racial, not racist -- yes, I know the difference 😉 No matter how navie I may be, if I don't like it, I don't like it. I used that situation as an example because its the on currect dxp situation I could think of at the time and there have been many.

You should see me offline, my mouth is always getting me into trouble. The same thing you told me, I've heard it before, I've heard it for years upon years, but I never listen. I didn't bring anything up to debate about it because I refuse to, and I don't see the point really. I'm never tactless enough to hurt someone's feelings and know it, but if I feel strongly about something (even if I think about it first haha) it will take an earthquake to stop me from voicing whats in my head.

Its A SHAME Thesis got a freaking black eye over something like that. 😢 😢 😢 😢 😢 😢

Nothing against what you said because thats what you think and its cool. But I see things differently, thats all.

HEY! Isn't this Thread about THESIS! -- this is her thread darn it 😢 She has to make sure all that swelling goes down before Wednesday 😢
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P-Angel
@P-Angel
20 Years25,000+ PostsPisces

Comments: 0 · Posts: 44084 · Topics: 685
Let me see if I have this right ..


You are out with girl-friend-mate, and other friends ... in this group, are, her boyfriend, his son, the son's girlfriend, and friends belonging to son & girlfriend.

Son gets nasty with your girl-friend-mate and calls her black bastard because she has mixed genes of jamaican and english .... your girl-friend says nothing to defend herself, nor does her boyfriend, who is the father of the son .... and you feel protective over your friend, so you mouth off in her defense.

AT some point, these people starting the riff must have tried to exit the establishment .. because you went outside to mouth-off. I'm assuming this punching lumps happened outside.

While you are getting beat-up, nobody comes to defend you .. meaning, your girl-friend, her boyfriend, and other friends you have that are there.


Is that ^^^^ right?

You know ... certainly, your girl-friend-mate already knows that her boyfriends son has resentment issues towards her, Sweet-T. And certainly, this isn't the first time she has heard him say derogatory things against her, with intentions of getting her riled-up.

He wanted a response like this .. this is WHY he was targeting. I'm not making excuses for anybody's behaviour .. only stating that if your friend is dating this man, then she is AWARE of the issues with the boy.

I know you want to help her, and feel compelled to protect her integrity .. but, seriously .. being with this man is her choice, and there's really nothing you can do to stop her from being with him. And if you put yourself in the middle .. and her loyalty is to her man, even if he is an asshole in your eyes ... it could damage your relationship with your friend.


So sorry this happened to you. Can't help you with the swelling with any suggestions that haven't been said already.
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cappysweetie
@cappysweetie
19 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 2 · Posts: 23862 · Topics: 499
It looks worse now, I put another pic up, it's a mess.

Oh dear me ...

I am done with her now too though, if she takes him back, I won't be in their company ever again.

GOOD! She didn't even stand up for you and you are suppose to be her friend! I mean damn it all. I support those who support and defend me as much as I do to them. If it comes down to it just being me doing it all, I slowly back away.
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P-Angel
@P-Angel
20 Years25,000+ PostsPisces

Comments: 0 · Posts: 44084 · Topics: 685
That is looking pretty bad .. guess you'll have to make up an excuse if asked at work on Wed. However, most people mind their own business and don't get involved, as you found out last night .. so, new co-workers probably won't even ask about your eye.


Perhaps, staying away from them is not only your best-bet, to her best interest also .. in the long run. If she is "blind" by feelings for this man, then she cannot grasp how his son is going to effect her relationship with the man, and will likely allow this abuse to continue, unbeknownst to her that her man is encouraging it by means of ignorance.

Eventually, this relationship will fail .. we can all see this, but, she obviously cannot. In the meantime, if you pull away, as other friends probably will also .. then this losing of friends will be a voice in the back of her head screaming at her. She may ignore this voice for now .. but, as this situation gets worse, and it will, this voice will become louder and louder.

She'll listen one day ... and when she finally allows her eyes to open, Sweet-T .. she will come to you.

Don't be upset with her, Sweet-T .. she is experiencing what we all go through ... love 'blindness' .. she cannot 'see'.

(( hugs ))
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