My first intro into fish world

I've met a really nice guy by all accounts. We were introduced by mutual friends about 2 months ago and he informed me right away that forming a friendship first is very important to him. I agree. We've been out 4 times and everything has been perfectly fine. The strange thing is he doesn't like to talk in between our dates and they have been spaced out because of work and he father obligations. I already wrote him off once and then he called like no time had past but 2 weeks had. When we got together he mentioned how he had to go out of town for work at the last minute and that the text he sent while he was gone was to let me know he was thinking of me even tho it didn't say that. I can't tell if he's shy, not interested enough to put real effort into this, just slow or what.

Our conversations have been really open. For example on our first date he told me about a girl he sees only for sex and how she wants more but he doesn't. He has since told me that he has told her that he's been seeing someone else (me). Anyway, for me we don't see each other enough or connect enough for me to tell my booty call man lol.

I don't know how to make the transition with him. Any ideas? Is this typical behavior for a Pieces man?

I think he's a nice guy and I don't want to miss out on him but he's not keeping me interested.

I guess patients is in order. As far as I know though, he's still seeing his booty call, which is fine for now. He simply let her know he is seeing someone. But we will see how it goes. I have an event I could ask him to go to with me. Debating if I should.

If you say you two are open with each other, then it should be no problem to talk this through with him. That way he knows how you feel and he may offer up his own reasoning behind his minimal communication. Maybe relationships haven't been a priority in his life for a long time and he doesn't see that his behavior may be upsetting to some. Maybe he still isn't actually ready for a relationship but thinks he is. Who knows! If you talk it over with him you'll likely get a more solid answer.

Here's the thing. We've only been out 4 times so I don't want to come off looking like a demanding psycho. He has been very clear that he wants a solid friendship first with hopes that we could become more. He also has said and I do believe him that he has no intentions of making our relationship a booty call one.

Between work and his kids I think his time might be limited but I still think if he wants a friendship or relationship he will have to put more into it. At least with me anyway. And I do think he's a little more scared then he realizes from his last relationship.

The next time he ask me out I will ask him about the in between conversations. Maybe he really doesn't know. He was married for 13 years and then immediately started dating a girl for 5. Maybe he's out of practice?!?! To be continued.

I'm still dating other people so he can take his time. What's meant to be will always find a way. If it's not him that's OK too.

I think this part might be good to think on...

on our first date he told me about a girl he sees only for sex and how she wants more but he doesn't
on our first date he told me about a girl he sees only for sex and how she wants more but he doesn't
on our first date he told me about a girl he sees only for sex and how she wants more but he doesn't
on our first date he told me about a girl he sees only for sex and how she wants more but he doesn't


See?

He was in a fish tank for years.
Now, he's been released to the ocean.
Because he knows people you know, after a breakup too, he certainly doesnt want any conflict.
So on the plus side, he's unlikely to lead you down the garden path. Wont like to hurt/disappoint you.

But...can you even IMAGINE they kind of wistful fishfulness he's experiencing as he hums along to Caribou, cruising around Wholefoods
like a Single Male Basket case?

Don't get your hopes up girl.
If he does fall hard for someone in the future, it will be painfully obvious.

Right now he's probably noticing the cashiers dreamy eyes.
By the time you read this he'll have fallen for the parking attendant, the concierge and the automated marketing messenger from the phone company.

Actions?...they'll come later. Or not.
You are seeing a guy who is a walking sponge, someone who can't help imagining how wondrous everyone whom he comes into contact with is.

Personally, I don't think its a runner.
Any Pisces who kicks off a 1st date talking about his FucBuddy Playbook is unlikely to be looking for silver linings IMO.
Its just not very romantic really is it?
Sounds more of a play date.


(If you settle down, feel free to come back and kick my axe)

I agree not romantic at all BUT.... Don't we all have non romantic things going on? I myself have a booty call friend but I just wouldn't talk about him unless asked. I asked the Fish man if he was seeing anyone or had friends on the side. I thought his answer was honest. And really don't all booty calls want more at some point? Mine does but quite honestly he's not ready for me and what I would want. So he remains in that zone. I also don't think the way someone treats one person is an indication of how they will treat the next person.
By what our friends say about him my guy says he's out of practice and perhaps busy running a business and being a father.

All I can go by is what he's saying and his actions. I will let this one play out. Actions always speak louder than words.

You're right CC, and wise words.
My bad - Didn't know you asked him. Big distinction.

Good luck with it.

I find this feedback interesting. He has not asked me about my side friend and I have not volunteered about him. But I will say I liked the fish man from our first conversation. I thought he was a really nice guy that I would like to get to know. I'm not interested in trapping him. I have no problems giving up my side friend. I would like to be in happy, fulfilling relationship.

The fish man was introduced to me because our friends know we want to be in a healthy loving relationship and thought our personalities would hit it off. And they were right. We get along great when we are together. It's the in between time that I would like to improve on. But perhaps he's not really ready for a relationship yet.

My side friend would like to have more with me but I don't think we would be good life partners.

One of the main issues with my side friend is that he does not want to blend our families. He tried that with his ex wife and it didn't work out so well. He would like for me to commit to him until his son turns 18 in 7 years and then "start" our relationship. I have no interest in doing that so we hang out when we are both free. It's not always sex. We go dinner and the movies and other things but I won't commit to someone who won't commit to me.

I have no idea if the fish would be a good life partner. I'm simply interested in getting to know if he would.

I'm a cancer . My bday is July 14th. Not sure about my sun and moon.

He is an amazing father. His ex wife did not treat one of his sons well and they divorced shortly after getting married because of it. He may refer to me as his girlfriend but I would not refer to him as my boyfriend. I enjoy him but my ultimate goal is to be in a loving, fulfilling, committed relationship. He can't offer that to me. I am a divorced mom of 2. He has 2 boys.

I was told the fish man was very interested in meeting someone and starting a relationship. The friends that introduced him have told me he's a good guy. If he's not available emotionally I'm ok with that as well and I have no problems leaving this as an experience and that's it. I've only seen him 4 times. I'm not sure if he's not emotionally available or perhaps seeing other people or maybe he moves at a slow pace. I don't know him so I can't say for sure. He has only said that he would like for our friendship to be solid and go from there. Seems understandable enough and I can go with that. His pace is just a little slower then I'm used to.

I think the side guy and I have a mutual understanding that we are available for each other physically and mentally but due to life circumstances that's as far as it will go. If I told him I would not date other ppl and wait for him he would be on board with that. It's just not my desire. I wont commit or lie to him. At the time we started dating I didn't realize just how committed to his kids (that he really only wants to focus on them) he is and his ex wife tends to make things difficult for him when he's happy and in a relationship. As soon as she found out about me things started to get uncomfortable for him. Another reason I don't pursue him on a higher level. I don't need that drama. My ex husband aren't like that at all.

I think everyone I meet is dating multiple ppl and I would want them to until we came to a mutual understanding and want to commit to each other. So it doesn't really bother me that fish has a side piece. He's said she's not what he wants long term and that she now knows he's interested in me. How the 2 of them proceed from here is on them. Only if we got serious would I expect him to end that relationship and any others. Not now after date 4. I simply asked him if he had a side piece and he told me.

I'm not emotionally connected to my side piece. I see him a few times a month and it's enjoyable. However if I started to date someone seriously I would end our side friendship immediately.

It's not my intention to be involved with un available men. I've dated plenty of guys who were open and free in the couple of years I've divorced. And definitely not a train I want to get on 🙂

I was just more curious if this is how fish men are. I am dating a couple of other good guys as well. I use the mirror approach with him lol. When he calls I pick up or call back if I'm not available. He text and I text him back. I don't do anything in between. Maybe this is a sign of him not being available. Maybe that's why I find his behavior so strange. I've never seen it before lol. I'm not sure when his bday is. I just know he's a fish man

Haha! Responsible father is a crazy Gemini! Lol. I am only having sex with friend on the side. Now that I don't believe in. Too much to risk with multiple sex partners but I will date many people lol.

Why don't you date multiple ppl at one time?

I am as dedicated as a parent as they come. My kids are my first priority. I am even the VP of the kids school PTA and I work full time. I have a full plate but I need the balance and I would love to get re married at some point so I almost view dating like a job. If I want a new partner I have to put the time in. My ex husband takes them every other weekend so that's when I have my free time. I don't have a date every kid free weekend but I don't like putting my eggs all in 1 basket until we've reached that point. I dated a guy for about a year and it was enjoyable and fun. A lot easier to manage vs this dating world.

But whatever works best for everyone is what they need to do. Everyone's journey is different