Aries male/Cancer Female advice please

Hey guys
So im brand new to the site, however, I have alot of questions with cancer women. I hope some of you can help me out. So I was with this women for about five years and just recently we broke up. Before the break up however, about a year and half or so she was very distant. I thought nothing about it because I was madly in love with her. This was the first women that made me act uncharactersitic of my Aries self, in fact I was actually thinking of marrying her. Anyways, we broke up around july 1st about sixteen days before her birthday. After the break up she was very emotional, crying to her friends and crying to me on the phone. She asked me to wait, but wanted me as a friend at the same time, while she did her own thing. We talked twice after the break up and since then she retreated back into her shell and I have not heard from her since. It been about over a month now since of tried to contact her. The last time I tried to contact her was july 15th two days prior to her birthday. So from july 1st to july 15th I made my attempt to reconcile with her. I emailed her three times and got nothing. She claims to have moved on in one month, however, I suspect she hasnt, because how many can get over a five year relationship in one month. So my question is how do I get this women back?? and how do I know if she is really moved on or is she just acting like her cancer self and hiding in her shell? and if she is hiding in her shell is my solution, which is to leave her alone till she comes out, the right one? We had problems, especially trust, me not trusting her for the past year for being distant and of course me being an Aries, my temper. However, many couples have had worse issue that we do and my situation is very confusing because she just was able to let go so easily. Any help in sheading some light on my situation would be greatful. Thanks guys.

take it from me......cancer and aries is a bad match. Cancers never are open with there feelings and before you know it your relationship is over. They never look back, they are stubborn, they are always right and you are always wrong. Move on bud......thats why most cancer women at least that I know are single. Plus the cancer that I dated and walked away from me......is now single too and miserable. Cancer women=trouble.

can you give anymore information on both of your natal charts?
if you go to www.astro.com you can get them calculated for free in the free horoscopes section if you don't already know them

Posted by AriesMale25
take it from me......cancer and aries is a bad match. Cancers never are open with there feelings and before you know it your relationship is over. They never look back, they are stubborn, they are always right and you are always wrong. Move on bud......thats why most cancer women at least that I know are single. Plus the cancer that I dated and walked away from me......is now single too and miserable. Cancer women=trouble.

nods head in agreement

imthedjone ....... here's some things to think about ....


"Before the break up however, about a year and half or so she was very distant. I thought nothing about it because I was madly in love with her."

Here, it looks like she was giving you signals in which you were ignoring. Because you love her so much, you pretty much just ignored her, and her messages when she was signalling to you that she was unhappy.

This is something you have to own, for real ..... this woman was unhappy with you and the relationship for a year and a half imthedjone, and she became distant from you because of this unhappiness .. and you just ignored her feelings. You thinking nothing of it, to her = thinking nothing of her hurt feelings, or depressed feelings, or whatever was the matter with her feelings that made her pull away .. to her, she sees this as you not caring enough about her feelings to do anything about it.

I know that that seems unfair, because guys for the most part don't get why girls do these things when feelings are upset, why don't girls just be open and tell you straight up what the deal is .. but, they don't, and if you are going to date girls then you are going to have to learn this.

She pulled away for a year and a half .. and you did nothing. To her, this = you don't care.




" .. many couples have had worse issue that we do and my situation is very confusing because she just was able to let go so easily."


Your issue is based around trust, which has been breached due to not understanding each other, and what non-verbal signals mean ... I would venture to say that this "trust" issue is the number one cause of relationship distress.

However, something you have to put into proper perspective here, which it looks like you aren't realizing ... this isn't a fresh wound.

You say she let go so easily, and you cannot understand how she can let go so easily after a 5 year relationship .... when in reality, she started to let go a year and a half ago ... you just weren't listening.

To you, because you ignored the fact she was unhappy and breaking her connection with you while you ignored her signals, in the bliss of mad-love ... this breaking up, then, is a new and fresh injury to your feelings and how can you just severe your feelings **snap** just like that.

To her, she has been letting you go for a year and a half, mate, so she isn't letting go so easily that it's like the flip of a switch.

You aren't getting her back.


To you, from how you view this .... there was nothing wrong with the way the two of you communicated, for you just simply ignored her issues.


So, why would she want you back?

I don't mean to be mean here .. but, seriously .. why would an emotional creature, such as a female is, actually want a man to whom ingores her when having an emotional issue?



She's gone .... learn from it, figure out how to nurture and help a female when she is in need of her man to "hear" her ... and then try again with another love.

Cancer women aren't trouble. If we're walking away, we must've been hurt or offended. Or felt he was no good. There's a logical reason for it.

If she cheated, i wouldnt say its just because she is a cancer, all signs can choose to cheat or not.

Posted by CancerianGoddess
If she cheated, i wouldnt say its just because she is a cancer, all signs can choose to cheat or not.

I agree, doesn't matter what zodiac sign someone is. Just move on from her, you deserve better.

imthedjone

Listen to P-Angel.
P-Angel wise and seems like the only wise one here.

I'm a cancer female and had an amazing connection with an Aries man. We had trust issues also but it was mostly because he could never completely let go of past loves. He always found a way to keep in contact with them. Also he had a temper and security issues.
I loveds him alot and even left my job, and home and moved from Canada to The Bahamas because I wanted it to work out so badly.

I was open about my concerns of him always keeping in contact with exes, he kept sayin it was nothing just friendship. His exes also interferred and he didn't do much about it. I had cut off all my exes. After while I got tired of trying, I became distant. I realised that I would do more for him than he wud for me. I moved back to canada and since then we have tried and retried. He has never come to visit me even thought he said he loves me sooo much. I feel like he just ignored me. I love him still but I don't want to be with him.

Its very important to be on the same page with your partner, voicing your concerns but also paying attention to theirs. A woman wants to know that you care for her and telling her is just exactly that "words you're telling her". Who ever said 'actions speak louder" was right.

I say just move on. If you loved her enough in the first place you would have know what to do because you would have noticed. Just learn from it.

Cancer12,... moon signs play a huge part in it as well. I am a Cancer with Leo moon and Virgo rising. My man is an Aries with Pisces moon and Aries Rising. We actually pair up well, and if someone like an ex tries to make a move on him, he goes off on them and tells me about it. He isnt flirty and he is very possessive. He has always put me first. And he doesnt talk to any ex's. He told me once an ex always an ex.

Yes CancerianGoddess, I agree that it's not just the sun signs that play a factor. But I am mostly speaking of human nature above and how we as people react. Action or non-action and the reaction to that.
I'm not saying all aries cheat, I'm just saying that when we're in relationships we should factor in our partners feelings and understand that how we act and react to things sends a huge message.
I must say that it's good to hear that your guy seems to know what he wants and lets it be known. I admire people like that so good for you! 🙂

WOW, everything PANGEL said is totally on. That is how I was and how I felt before my 7 year relationship with a Gemini male. I was distant for over and year and he looked at it like it was a good thing for us because I was finally letting him have his "independence?" To me it was more like "I don't care anymore because he doesn't care." Us Cancerian women are very needy and we express ourselves physically and emotionally to the ones we love. When we don't anymore than most likely those feelings have died. That's what I tried telling my ex and he could not/would not understand where I was comming from. You couldn't have explained it any better.

Posted by Ovi_Spring
If she was distant for one year she cheated on you. Move on man. Even the only way that can bring her back is by being able to walk away. I know it's hard. Move your attention into the future. If you're an aries you can heal in no time. If she made you insecure by not trusting her she's not what you really want.

Obviously you don't understand the true nature of a Cancerian woman. Yet signs have nothing to do with cheaters.

Lady Cancer,
I agree with both of ur comments.

lol at Ovi

so i'm a cancer woman and i'm actually proud to say that i've never cheated on any of my exes. With that said, I have reacted in the way that Lady cancer has as well with distance (who might i add is also a female cancer - shocker).

How odd that we have both been in relationships where we became distant over time because our partners at the time seemed to have ignored our needs. I was distant for over a year and Lady cancer was distant for over a year as well yet neither of us cheated...

hmmm...i guess i missed the part where we both said we were distant because we were cheating.


kudos to you with your "experience in social dynamics and female psychology and behavior" i'm glad you can "smell a flower from a mile"

seriously Ovi, could cheating really be the only reason people are distant—

""Actually you are distant when you don't fully love someone. But why bother then in the first place to keep the man busy.
And another thing, like the monkey that never leaves a tree branch before she grabs another, girls never dump someone if there's "nobody else" there."""

From your reply I can totally see now, that you COMPLETELY understand women and human nature in general. Yep you definitely know what you're talking about. (that's sarcasm by the way)

Someone once said that ignorance is bliss, that person is a genius. lol

I Have to say i agree with Ovi, but originally he never was singleing out Cancer wome in general. You dont hae to get so defensive. Lighten up.

But anywho, back to the original post...... It is hard to get over a five year relationship. I Know Aries people think they can fix everything and are always go getters. Which is good, I Dont mind it. But seriously dude, i dont think she wants to fix it. When a cancer is in love we will do ANYTHING to keep your lover. It doesnt seem so in this case. Moon sign plays a big part though. Afterall i am a Cancer with a Leo moon, so what do i know huh? LOL