Milani
@MilaniKisses
8 YearsVirgo
Comments: 16 · Posts: 487 · Topics: 93
Class System and Relationships
yes,MOST of the time and majority of the time yes.
I notice that out there, that people who are of the same class, same hierarchy of living will stick with the same types. or closely similar.
it is very very RARE that poor will get with the rich or vice versa.
why?
1) Family obligations.
2) Even if it's NOT family obligations and shame due to if you are from wealthy or upper you would not want to be with a poor, due to shame, and also huge differences.
3) both parties would not be able to understand eachother, this causes a huge rift.
not only with family but with friends too and social circles.
I was watching recently on Netflix this show, that was over a decade ago...
about friends (they obviously met when younger and when they all had nothing and were on EQUAL grounds)
later in life, in their middle age, all four of them, had different lives..and different choices in marriage or staying single, and /or occupation.
the 4 out of the women as an example from the film, one of them is single and is a housemaid, she makes money cleaning houses, which she gets even as little as 50 dollars a day for one day cleaning.
that's so little.
then the rest of the women, one of them is a clothes designer, the other is a millionaire with a huge trust fund, the other is a screenwriter, who has a hard time with her husband and always arguing.
these women stuck together for many years because they started on equal grounds...
even though they have difficulties they still stick together due to the long friendship despite differences in life choices.
however, one of them commented that if they had met eachother NOW/ presently when one of the girls are just a housemaid and having difficulty, and no marriage, the happy married one with a full time maid herself, and gets full time help, with a good husband, said they couldn't hang out or even get together with her if they met NOW.
so that also made a lot of sense...that people would NOT get together if they were not on equal grounds somehow...
I notice that out there, that people who are of the same class, same hierarchy of living will stick with the same types. or closely similar.
it is very very RARE that poor will get with the rich or vice versa.
why?
1) Family obligations.
2) Even if it's NOT family obligations and shame due to if you are from wealthy or upper you would not want to be with a poor, due to shame, and also huge differences.
3) both parties would not be able to understand eachother, this causes a huge rift.
not only with family but with friends too and social circles.
I was watching recently on Netflix this show, that was over a decade ago...
about friends (they obviously met when younger and when they all had nothing and were on EQUAL grounds)
later in life, in their middle age, all four of them, had different lives..and different choices in marriage or staying single, and /or occupation.
the 4 out of the women as an example from the film, one of them is single and is a housemaid, she makes money cleaning houses, which she gets even as little as 50 dollars a day for one day cleaning.
that's so little.
then the rest of the women, one of them is a clothes designer, the other is a millionaire with a huge trust fund, the other is a screenwriter, who has a hard time with her husband and always arguing.
these women stuck together for many years because they started on equal grounds...
even though they have difficulties they still stick together due to the long friendship despite differences in life choices.
however, one of them commented that if they had met eachother NOW/ presently when one of the girls are just a housemaid and having difficulty, and no marriage, the happy married one with a full time maid herself, and gets full time help, with a good husband, said they couldn't hang out or even get together with her if they met NOW.
so that also made a lot of sense...that people would NOT get together if they were not on equal grounds somehow...
Posted by andswholol
Conservative Venus will stick to their tier unless Uranus transit
see??
it's all about sticking to your tier.
Posted by LibracookieI agree with this - as my parents raised me to never take anything for granted and always work hard to get what you want in life.
Depends on how they were raised and family values more than what class they come from imo.
You can find the most down to earth people from upper class and the most crazy brats from working class and the other way around.
Another thing I questions is, if you're from the higher class than the other, is it possible to drop to their level? I see it much more difficult for the lower class to come up... They can financially, but moral standards or manners will not change.
"You can take a country boy from the woods, but you cant take the country out of the boy."
"You can take a country boy from the woods, but you cant take the country out of the boy."
Posted by andswhoPosted by lisabethur8Lmfao I thought you were talking about a documentary and then scroll down to find a jennifer anniston movie
yes,MOST of the time and majority of the time yes.
I notice that out there, that people who are of the same class, same hierarchy of living will stick with the same types. or closely similar.
it is very very RARE that poor will get with the rich or vice versa.
why?
1) Family obligations.
2) Even if it's NOT family obligations and shame due to if you are from wealthy or upper you would not want to be with a poor, due to shame, and also huge differences.
3) both parties would not be able to understand eachother, this causes a huge rift.
not only with family but with friends too and social circles.
I was watching recently on Netflix this show, that was over a decade ago...
about friends (they obviously met when younger and when they all had nothing and were on EQUAL grounds)
later in life, in their middle age, all four of them, had different lives..and different choices in marriage or staying single, and /or occupation.
the 4 out of the women as an example from the film, one of them is single and is a housemaid, she makes money cleaning houses, which she gets even as little as 50 dollars a day for one day cleaning.
that's so little.
then the rest of the women, one of them is a clothes designer, the other is a millionaire with a huge trust fund, the other is a screenwriter, who has a hard time with her husband and always arguing.
these women stuck together for many years because they started on equal grounds...
even though they have difficulties they still stick together due to the long friendship despite differences in life choices.
however, one of them commented that if they had met eachother NOW/ presently when one of the girls are just a housemaid and having difficulty, and no marriage, the happy married one with a full time maid herself, and gets full time help, with a good husband, said they couldn't hang out or even get together with her if they met NOW.
so that also made a lot of sense...that people would NOT get together if they were not on equal grounds somehow...
I should have known!! ?click to expand
lmao
irony since she's bloody rich, a millionaire!! and she's always playing the poor girl role. smh.
like she wants to vicariously understand what it's like to be poor and not be married.
Posted by MilaniKissesooohhh good point.
Another thing I questions is, if you're from the higher class than the other, is it possible to drop to their level? I see it much more difficult for the lower class to come up... They can financially, but moral standards or manners will not change.
"You can take a country boy from the woods, but you cant take the country out of the boy."
well ....I've met some country folks who have STRONG morals and higher standards in themselves.
they are the strongest with morals from what I've learned and seen.
so far, what I've seen of the upper tier, super wealthy (especially those in Hollywood ect or standard millionare) they are raising their noses at the poor..
maybe because they see the poor folks can't budget and make good money and save it.
while the super rich know how to invest and save a buck? I have no idea.
but maybe your definition of trailer trash is different than country boy/country gal...cause those peeps are really highly moralistic with strong family values.
I think the current state / place in society of both individuals may play an even greater role. So do the good old patriarchical structures.
From personal experience I'd argue the opposite to the "you can't take the country out of the boy". I think that's a very problematic saying and thought. It's also one of the roots of the continuing racial discrimination because it essentially perpetuates the idea of an inherent lack (rather than acknowledging privilege) and that counter examples are merely "exceptions", which we know to be utter bs.
I think that there is a lot of evidence that people who are used to a certain privileged status in society will have a much more difficult time adjusting to anything below that. And this is exactly what creates the "sanctity of privilege" and the resistance of the most privileged against upward movement.
So when we say that "you can't get the country out of the boy", that's resistance of the privileged towards the upwards movement of the less privileged. It does not speak at all about the "country boy" himself. And if you look at the wording, he doesn't have any autonomy or agency in this. So it becomes quite clear WHO is speaking. It's not about ability or possibility, it's simply about societal resistance towards the less privileged.
It's not about morals, manners or standards whatsoever. Those are excuses and cliches. "Class" behavior is not genetic.
It's simply about power and privilege.
.
Posted by peo
I think the current state / place in society of both individuals may play an even greater role. So do the good old patriarchical structures.
From personal experience I'd argue the opposite to the "you can't take the country out of the boy". I think that's a very problematic saying and thought. It's also one of the roots of the continuing racial discrimination because it essentially perpetuates the idea of an inherent lack (rather than acknowledging privilege) and that counter examples are merely "exceptions", which we know to be utter bs.
I think that there is a lot of evidence that people who are used to a certain privileged status in society will have a much more difficult time adjusting to anything below that. And this is exactly what creates the "sanctity of privilege" and the resistance of the most privileged against upward movement.
So when we say that "you can't get the country out of the boy", that's resistance of the privileged towards the upwards movement of the less privileged. It does not speak at all about the "country boy" himself. And if you look at the wording, he doesn't have any autonomy or agency in this. So it becomes quite clear WHO is speaking. It's not about ability or possibility, it's simply about societal resistance towards the less privileged.
It's not about morals, manners or standards whatsoever. Those are excuses and cliches. "Class" behavior is not genetic.
It's simply about power and privilege.
.
Wow PEO, I like this take on the subject! Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Posted by MiZLeoMiZLeo, good take and perspective on the subject.
Speaking from experience in all this, I feel that both sides have certain prejudice against each other. I feel it has to do with how people are raised as well. Not every well off person looks down at people, however, those who are well off tend to be wary of those less fortunate than them because they don't want to be taken advantage of.
I come from a well off family but that is because my father worked hard to get us out of the ghetto. I have been used for money. I have been called nasty things by people who don't know me and by those who should know better but can't see pass the money. I have come to the conclusion that perhaps I should start only associating myself with people on my level because I am tired of having to defend my upbringing and tired of having to deal with people trying to take advantage.
I was listening to the radio today and it was one of those programs where the person wants to know what happened after the first date cause the other person won't call them back. This morning the girl who called in said she went on the most romantic date of her life and the guy was such a gentleman that he didn't even kiss her, but she hasn't heard from him and wants to know why. She met the guy through her father who had told this guy he should ask his daughter out. So they call him and the guy says "I got what I wanted out of the date" and when they ask him to explain he says "I was just trying to get a business deal out of it. I took her out and 2 days later I closed the deal with her father, it was a business deal". The girl and the radio djs were shocked. The djs tried to defend her but the guy was such a douche. I'm sure the girl is heartbroken.
But, that is just an example. It is also an example that I can relate to. I'm sure there are examples from the other spectrum as well.
In my case, I have been taken advantage of for the "assumption" of having money... Because I take care of myself and enjoy nice material things, many guys assume that I make a lot of money or have it. Though I come from it, it was my parent's money/hard work - not mine. From seeing what my parents had due to working hard, it has taught me the same values of working hard to get what I want.
Posted by MilaniKisses
Hi All,
Not to sound superficial of any kind, but I do have a question pertaining to class and relationships.
Can the class you were raised in affecting the outcome of relationship compatibility?
Example: Upper middle class girl from suburbia who was given a BMW as her first car at 16 meets/dates a country guy who grew up in a trailer park (Not saying anything wrong with trailer parks - Home is where the heart is!) who likes to hunt deer and play in mud.
Thoughts?
It tends to yes, simply because of the personalities, emotional baggage and interpersonal influences involved. Maturity plays a role as well.
Your example threw me a bit, so I just responded to the actual question.
Posted by MilaniKisses
Another thing I questions is, if you're from the higher class than the other, is it possible to drop to their level? I see it much more difficult for the lower class to come up... They can financially, but moral standards or manners will not change.
This may be part of the issue I was referring to in my response above. If someone sees it as "dropping" a level....meh you might as well keep it moving. It has an air of superiority that will ultimately create conflict.
What I keep reading here by most of the upper/middle class is the emphasis on hard work. Everyone seems to point to the fact that they got to where they are by hard work. (Maybe not wanting to acknowledge the factor privilege plays.)
Realistically, by our standards, how many people among the upper classes aren't hardworking? There's a very low percentage of people who will lead a lavish life without working for it at all.
My Dad grew up in an orphanage (war child) and went from street kid, to military career, to upper middle class. He sure worked hard, but more than that he will tell you that he was incredibly lucky! Lucky to have a social worker who really cared about him and pushed him. Lucky that he met the right people at the right time. He still worked hard. It simply wasn't all it took.
When I was 18 I took a cleaning job to make some extra money (privilege) and most of my (immigrant) coworkers had 2-3 jobs next to this cleaning job, but within the socioeconomic hierarchy they were situated much lower than me and it was quite clear that my social mobility was easier granted than theirs.
Val, a cashier at my local grocery store goes from her job at that grocery store straight to her job at a dollar store. I'd say she works harder than most middle class people I know. But she doesn't seem to be acknowledged as such if we see our hard work as a reflection of our socioeconomic status!
Wherever we are situated within the class hierarchy, it's not just hard work that contributed to it.
So when someone of the middle class says they want to date someone who values hard work / works hard, they're usually not referring to a person with 2-3 jobs to merely pay the bills. They're referring to someone who is also able to afford a certain quality of life. I think that's a very important thing to note when talking about "class" and expectations towards class.
I'm absolutely guilty of looking for people who have not only a similar socioeconomic status than i do, but also a similar educational background.
Realistically, by our standards, how many people among the upper classes aren't hardworking? There's a very low percentage of people who will lead a lavish life without working for it at all.
My Dad grew up in an orphanage (war child) and went from street kid, to military career, to upper middle class. He sure worked hard, but more than that he will tell you that he was incredibly lucky! Lucky to have a social worker who really cared about him and pushed him. Lucky that he met the right people at the right time. He still worked hard. It simply wasn't all it took.
When I was 18 I took a cleaning job to make some extra money (privilege) and most of my (immigrant) coworkers had 2-3 jobs next to this cleaning job, but within the socioeconomic hierarchy they were situated much lower than me and it was quite clear that my social mobility was easier granted than theirs.
Val, a cashier at my local grocery store goes from her job at that grocery store straight to her job at a dollar store. I'd say she works harder than most middle class people I know. But she doesn't seem to be acknowledged as such if we see our hard work as a reflection of our socioeconomic status!
Wherever we are situated within the class hierarchy, it's not just hard work that contributed to it.
So when someone of the middle class says they want to date someone who values hard work / works hard, they're usually not referring to a person with 2-3 jobs to merely pay the bills. They're referring to someone who is also able to afford a certain quality of life. I think that's a very important thing to note when talking about "class" and expectations towards class.
I'm absolutely guilty of looking for people who have not only a similar socioeconomic status than i do, but also a similar educational background.
Posted by peoPeo, wow... great response. I love your analysis! Nothing to argue against
What I keep reading here by most of the upper/middle class is the emphasis on hard work. Everyone seems to point to the fact that they got to where they are by hard work. (Maybe not wanting to acknowledge the factor privilege plays.)
Realistically, by our standards, how many people among the upper classes aren't hardworking? There's a very low percentage of people who will lead a lavish life without working for it at all.
My Dad grew up in an orphanage (war child) and went from street kid, to military career, to upper middle class. He sure worked hard, but more than that he will tell you that he was incredibly lucky! Lucky to have a social worker who really cared about him and pushed him. Lucky that he met the right people at the right time. He still worked hard. It simply wasn't all it took.
When I was 18 I took a cleaning job to make some extra money (privilege) and most of my (immigrant) coworkers had 2-3 jobs next to this cleaning job, but within the socioeconomic hierarchy they were situated much lower than me and it was quite clear that my social mobility was easier granted than theirs.
Val, a cashier at my local grocery store goes from her job at that grocery store straight to her job at a dollar store. I'd say she works harder than most middle class people I know. But she doesn't seem to be acknowledged as such if we see our hard work as a reflection of our socioeconomic status!
Wherever we are situated within the class hierarchy, it's not just hard work that contributed to it.
So when someone of the middle class says they want to date someone who values hard work / works hard, they're usually not referring to a person with 2-3 jobs to merely pay the bills. They're referring to someone who is also able to afford a certain quality of life. I think that's a very important thing to note when talking about "class" and expectations towards class.
I'm absolutely guilty of looking for people who have not only a similar socioeconomic status than i do, but also a similar educational background.
Ive been engaged to royalty and i've dated trash-neither worked out. IMO someone with the same moral code is the way to go 🙂
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Not to sound superficial of any kind, but I do have a question pertaining to class and relationships.
Can the class you were raised in affecting the outcome of relationship compatibility?
Example: Upper middle class girl from suburbia who was given a BMW as her first car at 16 meets/dates a country guy who grew up in a trailer park (Not saying anything wrong with trailer parks - Home is where the heart is!) who likes to hunt deer and play in mud.
Thoughts?