christinelovessnickers
@christinelovessnickers
12 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 0 · Posts: 2089 · Topics: 147
Dating an ex-con
Posted by CluelessCancer
America locks up every black man that ever was birthed in this sorry ass racist country, so isn't everyone an ex con anyways...
atleast 2/3 been booked...
Racism is certainly alive, but not everyone is racist....and certainly you can say that not just one race is racist. I have met plenty of people of different races/ ethnicities/ backgrounds/ etc that make remarks out of jest or out of cruelty. I am sure that there are a lot of people that have been locked up for stuff they didn't do, but there are plenty of people locked up that are there for a legit readon. However, that's not what this post is supposed to be about.
all the men i date have a felony or a couple misdemeanors. doesnt deter me one bit!
I guess my thinking is coming from a long term point of view. Marriage and financial stability. You could have a great man, but if he has been in trouble enough than it can really limit his options to bring in a decent income. What about schooling? Is that limited also? If for whatever reason they can't make a good wage, what are the chances of them reverting back to their past ways?
Don't get me wrong, I can totally respect someone doing whatever they need to do to take care of their family. And I understand circumstances happen that people make the wrong choices or are placed in a position where they feel they need to do certain things to get by. Not knocking any hustle...just curious about stability.
Don't get me wrong, I can totally respect someone doing whatever they need to do to take care of their family. And I understand circumstances happen that people make the wrong choices or are placed in a position where they feel they need to do certain things to get by. Not knocking any hustle...just curious about stability.
Posted by DMV
all the men i date have a felony or a couple misdemeanors. doesnt deter me one bit!
+1
Posted by christinelovessnickers
I guess my thinking is coming from a long term point of view. Marriage and financial stability. You could have a great man, but if he has been in trouble enough than it can really limit his options to bring in a decent income.
blockquote>
Entrepreneurship.... the AMERICAN way.
Posted by christinelovessnickers Would your answer change if a child/ren was involved (ex-con not being the father)?
Posted by christinelovessnickers
I guess my thinking is coming from a long term point of view. Marriage and financial stability. You could have a great man, but if he has been in trouble enough than it can really limit his options to bring in a decent income. What about schooling? Is that limited also? If for whatever reason they can't make a good wage, what are the chances of them reverting back to their past ways?
Don't get me wrong, I can totally respect someone doing whatever they need to do to take care of their family. And I understand circumstances happen that people make the wrong choices or are placed in a position where they feel they need to do certain things to get by. Not knocking any hustle...just curious about stability.click to expand
When children are involved, bringing a man in general around should not happen at all until a relationship is exclusive, stable and no sooner than 6 months. With an ex con, extend it LONGER. Finances don't mean squat, the child's well being DOES! When it comes to kids, they should always be the FIRST priority over everyone including the parent.
Regarding the question would I ever date one? Probably not, but it would depend on the crime and a COMPLETE background history check, which I can easily get...especially if I was thinking about allowing a con anywhere near my son in the future.
Posted by DMV
all the men i date have a felony or a couple misdemeanors. doesnt deter me one bit!
Well, someone who has been to jail for a couple of misdemeanors is a little different than someone who has done time.
Don't you think?
Of course, it depends on the charge-- I've dated a couple of men with a "past"-- but interestingly enough, the one that did actual time (just under a year when he was very young) was straight as an arrow, having done a complete turn-around, early on.
The one who went to jail for like-- a minute (drugs), then got a spectacular deal (family money!) was still just as dirty, years later.
(Dumped his sorry ass as soon as I figured it out.)
I think it's a good idea to keep your eyes wide open, in situations like this-- drugs (those with drug charges) seem to be the worst about flying straight.
Just my experience.
🙂
Posted by LetltBPosted by christinelovessnickers Would your answer change if a child/ren was involved (ex-con not being the father)?
Posted by christinelovessnickers
I guess my thinking is coming from a long term point of view. Marriage and financial stability. You could have a great man, but if he has been in trouble enough than it can really limit his options to bring in a decent income. What about schooling? Is that limited also? If for whatever reason they can't make a good wage, what are the chances of them reverting back to their past ways?
Don't get me wrong, I can totally respect someone doing whatever they need to do to take care of their family. And I understand circumstances happen that people make the wrong choices or are placed in a position where they feel they need to do certain things to get by. Not knocking any hustle...just curious about stability.
When children are involved, bringing a man in general around should not happen at all until a relationship is exclusive, stable and no sooner than 6 months. With an ex con, extend it LONGER. Finances don't mean squat, the child's well being DOES! When it comes to kids, they should always be the FIRST priority over everyone including the parent.click to expand
100% agreed. But I think she has made up her mind on him. He treats her well and seems to treat her child well, also. That's why I started thinking about the rest of the stability issues.
Posted by BalmyTigress
I just remembered I actually have dated one. He hadn't exactly cleaned up his act when I met him, but he started changing things around. I don't think he's still exactly clean, but much different and actually successful in his line of business.
It didn't bother me, in fact I think I liked this "bad boy" stuff (except when he was actually doing something illegal that also went against my morals which is when I told him to quit it and he apparently did).
What bothered me was that we didn't have much in common and I got bored. If I would've had children, then I don't think that relationship would've happened. Not necessarily because of who he was, because he wasn't a bad man and I'm sure he would've protected me and my offspring with his whole being, but because it was clearly a silly idea to have the relationship in the first place as I got bored.
I guess to me morality and law are different things and I can definitely look past criminal records. It's more about what the person is really like. If they have no backbone, then they'll not have me.
True. Morals and laws are different. Everyone has morals, it just depends how tight/ lax they are with them. Like I said before, I can respect people that hustle in order to support themselves/ family, even if it is against the law. I know ex coins that are some of the best people I know, they just tend to get stuck in the system because they either don't want to change their life style s or don't know how, maybe.
Posted by CluelessCancer
America locks up every black man that ever was birthed in this sorry ass racist country, so isn't everyone an ex con anyways...
atleast 2/3 been booked...
wow
If you are going to spout off racism, you should at least get the facts straight.
Demographically speaking, an inner city has a higher population of black people, which means that crimes are commited by more black people than other races.
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
Hey yall, Quick question, I recently asked my cancer if we are exclusive he said Yes, why would you ask me that I t
Who here has ever dealt with an ex? If so, why did you decide to go back? Were you able to get over past issues and if s
Why do they perpetuate the bullshit? Why do they let bad treatment happen? Why are they so desperate for relationships?
my mom used to always say to me to never seriously be with a man that you love more than he loves you. lol...that woman
at home at work wherever are you a fan? state your sun, moon, venus
I recently broke up with a boyfriend and I have had other guys recently ask me out and I told them no because I had some
Welp, for those of you who have read a couple of my prior threads (hello by the way =P) you would probably know the bas
Funny, embarrassing, a proud moment or shameful if someone you were interested in ended up on DXP posting your chart and
Fred West Fred West was a mass-murderer and mass-rapist from Gloucester, England, who once caught, hung himself await
... so long as both of you are color blind!
I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine and found out that her bf is an ex-con. Now, I know him and he is a decent enough guy, but it made me start wondering if it is a good idea or not. I honestly think that (depending on what the behavior was) you can't always judge someone by past decisions (obviously that can't be said for everything).
What do you guys think about this? Have you ever or would you ever date an ec-con? Would your answer change if a child/ren was involved (ex-con not being the father)?