One lover or multiple lovers (what's your style?)

You know how certain people are naturally open to the idea of juggling multiple partners at the same time and might even find it thrilling whereas others might find that idea shocking and perhaps even fickle and immoral? Some people can easily hop from one partner to the next without much pause or thought or anything and are totally fine with superficial relationships whereas others like to stick to just one person and try to cultivate a deep connection with them.

I know this woman who keeps at least 7 lovers at her disposal at all times. She'll choose who to spend time with on any given day/week depending on her mood or who can offer her whatever she needs at the time (be it money, intellect, or good looks). She says she's been this way since she was a teen. I was sort of surprised that she was so nonchalant about all this. The men that she's dating are all like this too. They have other women on the side.

I asked her if she ever felt used or empty and she said no. When she reached out for help in the middle of a crisis, NONE of these men came to help her but she still continues to sleep with them. I was speechless. I really didn't know what to say. I felt very sad for her quite honestly.
But this is the way she chooses to live her life so who am I to openly pass judgement? Especially since she's a grown woman in her 30's who's fully capable of making her own decisions.


So anyhow I'm wondering what separates these two types of people. Which one are you and why?

Obviously that woman is a nasty whore who doesn't give a damn about herself. She has no morals, values, integrity, or any respect for herself whatsoever. She is obviously very insecure & unhappy with herself. That's just nasty as hell. But anyway. NO. Hell no. I'm not a cheater & prefer to be in a relationship with only 1 person.

one lover. i wanna focus my time and attention on 1 person and work on establishin a tight bond with 'em. time is money. i dont see the point of havin numerous superficial relationships goin all at once when u can be investin dat same amount of time and energy on sumthin more lasting and meaningful.

Posted by CherryOnTop
When she reached out for help in the middle of a crisis, NONE of these men came to help her but she still continues to sleep with them. I was speechless. I really didn't know what to say. I felt very sad for her quite honestly.

dats cuz they don't give a shit about u at the end of the day. ain't none of ur fuck buddies gonna come visit yo ass in the hospital when u sick. why the hell should they. u ain't dat important to them. u lucky if u get a visit.

Ruthless, that hospital example is a good one. This woman's crisis was that she was being stalked by a man who wanted to get revenge on her for playing with his heart. She tried reaching out to her numerous lovers for some assitance but not one of them came to her aid. They just didn't care. This doesn't surprise me though.

This idea reminds me of some weird analogies I make up:

Think of large glass of water. OR maybe a gallon of water! That will represent your love/commitment to someone.
Now you have seeds in flower pots. That will be your "lovers"

If you spend all your time, slowly and accurately feeding 1 pot, it will eventually grow into some pretty gorgeous thing of mother nature.

Now if you divide your water up with 7 or so plants, each will get what they want, but eventually, you wont see as much progress or symbolism to your hard work.

Posted by HazardousWalk
This idea reminds me of some weird analogies I make up:

Think of large glass of water. OR maybe a gallon of water! That will represent your love/commitment to someone.
Now you have seeds in flower pots. That will be your "lovers"

If you spend all your time, slowly and accurately feeding 1 pot, it will eventually grow into some pretty gorgeous thing of mother nature.

Now if you divide your water up with 7 or so plants, each will get what they want, but eventually, you wont see as much progress or symbolism to your hard work.

That's a beautiful analogy. 🙂

I could not be with more than 1 person at a time, I believe it's plain nasty. if you dont respect yourself, you can't expect anyone else to do it either.

Posted by CherryOnTop

Posted by HazardousWalk
This idea reminds me of some weird analogies I make up:

Think of large glass of water. OR maybe a gallon of water! That will represent your love/commitment to someone.
Now you have seeds in flower pots. That will be your "lovers"

If you spend all your time, slowly and accurately feeding 1 pot, it will eventually grow into some pretty gorgeous thing of mother nature.

Now if you divide your water up with 7 or so plants, each will get what they want, but eventually, you wont see as much progress or symbolism to your hard work.

That's a beautiful analogy. 🙂

click to expand

I could've worded it better but thanks! 😄

Posted by TaurusBadGirl
I could not be with more than 1 person at a time, I believe it's plain nasty. if you dont respect yourself, you can't expect anyone else to do it either.

I agree.

Posted by aquaj

Posted by RealTalk
Obviously that woman is a nasty whore who doesn't give a damn about herself. She has no morals, values, integrity, or any respect for herself whatsoever. She is obviously very insecure & unhappy with herself. That's just nasty as hell. But anyway. NO. Hell no. I'm not a cheater & prefer to be in a relationship with only 1 person.

That's kind of ironic because your comment reeks of insecurity to me, lol.

click to expand

That's kind of ironic because your comment reeks of a bitch who fucked more than one guy at a time, lol.

one person at a time! mostly cuz i'm the type of dude that wants to assign deep meanings to everything lol if my heart's not 100% into whatever i'm doing, then i'll just feel like a fake. i don't feel comfortable using people for sex and things like that.
and also like ruthless says, time is money and i'm gonna use it wisely. i don't want to go through life half-assing things (especially relationships with other people) cuz life is not a joke. you can still have fun without sleeping around. i mean i don't have anything against those people who wanna juggle multiple lovers at once cuz it's not like what they're doing is affecting my life directly so i got no reason to care lol

Posted by TasteOfChaosss
Gang bangs FTW

This made me laugh pretty hard just hanging out on the bottom of the thread.

before i got commited i met 2 guys one was taurus and the other 1 was a scorpio
both said they loved me but i wasnt happy with them could not have much feelings for them
but i used to talk with taurus guy on phone and with the scorpio guy i went for a date once.
its because i wasnt sure about both of them actually. i wanted someone who wont leave me soon.
then i found another taurus guy he was actually too good and he made me think as if he was the only guy in the world for me. 🙂 he is so perfect for me. actually its really great to have one person in life with whom i can share almost everything.

Posted by aliennation
I'd be open to the idea if STD spread wasn't of an exponential nature.

So there'd have to be strict rules. I brought up the idea of an open relationship to my ex Scorp, and he flipped the f.ck out on me.

Anyway. I'm sorry for your friend, but with FWBs, knowing boundaries and expectatiions is key.

I'd never reach out to a f.ck buddy for loyalty/support - f.ck buddies are strictly within the realm of physical pleasure and frivolous play. For true blue support, that's what close friends are for. People who you've been friends with and proved themselves to you *before* you started horsing around, if ever.

Honestly, I'm surprised she still associates with them, after being let down like that. Even if she should've expected it, I'm surprised her own self-respect would allow her to return to those who proved their lack of respect for her.

So a fckbuddy is not an actual buddy? Just a "fck"—?


Apologies for being the slow learner of the team. I feel really thick😢

Posted by aquaj

Posted by RealTalk

Posted by aquaj

Posted by RealTalk
Obviously that woman is a nasty whore who doesn't give a damn about herself. She has no morals, values, integrity, or any respect for herself whatsoever. She is obviously very insecure & unhappy with herself. That's just nasty as hell. But anyway. NO. Hell no. I'm not a cheater & prefer to be in a relationship with only 1 person.

That's kind of ironic because your comment reeks of insecurity to me, lol.

That's kind of ironic because your comment reeks of a bitch who fucked more than one guy at a time, lol.

Wait... Little Miss Naughty... are you saying you're a girl? Then why do you talk like some ghetto gangbanger straight out of Compton? ...classy. And also your name is more than a little hypocritical given your judgemental attitude towards open relationships. Hey, maybe they don't teach consistency down in the ghetto where you obviously hail from😄

click to expand

Lol, just like I thought...you're obviously that bitch. No wonder my comment offended you, being that you're only 26 & you've slept with over 20 men speak volumes, so I am sure you've doubled & tripled up, hahaha. Ewwwwwwww!!! That's just nasty as hell & if you think I'm judging, you can kiss my ass. Work that gutter boo-boo, more power to you. 😄

Yes trick, LITTLE MISS NAUGHTY. Nothing contradictory about it. I'm naughty with my MAN ONLY. I'm stating my opinion like everyone else & if you don't like what I say uh...there's a feature here called block. I suggest you utilize it. GHETTO? You're a black broad calling someone ghetto? Do you even know where the word derived from? Of course you don't, you have a white boyfriend. Anywho, I'll give you a quick lesson. The Warsaw GHETTO, the term was originally used in Venice to describe the area where the Jews lived, in which the Jewish population in Warsaw was over 300k. Slum villages, poverty-stricken areas, places the nazi's confined the Jews to...not African-Americans.

Next time you start popping shit, know the origin of what the hell you're talking about because you sound like an ass.

Ladies, no fighting please lol

Posted by Jesse91
one person at a time! mostly cuz i'm the type of dude that wants to assign deep meanings to everything lol if my heart's not 100% into whatever i'm doing, then i'll just feel like a fake. i don't feel comfortable using people for sex and things like that.
and also like ruthless says, time is money and i'm gonna use it wisely. i don't want to go through life half-assing things (especially relationships with other people) cuz life is not a joke. you can still have fun without sleeping around. i mean i don't have anything against those people who wanna juggle multiple lovers at once cuz it's not like what they're doing is affecting my life directly so i got no reason to care lol

You are a sweet boy.

Posted by piscesSweetheart
before i got commited i met 2 guys one was taurus and the other 1 was a scorpio
both said they loved me but i wasnt happy with them could not have much feelings for them
but i used to talk with taurus guy on phone and with the scorpio guy i went for a date once.
its because i wasnt sure about both of them actually. i wanted someone who wont leave me soon.
then i found another taurus guy he was actually too good and he made me think as if he was the only guy in the world for me. 🙂 he is so perfect for me. actually its really great to have one person in life with whom i can share almost everything.

There's nothing wrong with testing people to see if they're truly sincere and trustworthy. I'm so happy that you found the perfect man for you!! Do I hear wedding bells?? lol

The only reason I think it's gross to have multiple partners is the exponential increase of std risks. Otherwise I think it's fine.

I stick to one person because I want a deeper connection and the std factor of course.

I do think the example lady has some unresolved issues though.

Posted by aquaj
I am anticipating yet another overly-aggressive response which indicates a heightened masculinity. I guess I should let you know now that I probably won't bother to read it or respond. Feel free to vent some more, though. Anything to keep the crime rate lower in your ghetto🙂

lmao!!!

Look Bitch, I don't even know what the hell you wrote, nor do I care. I have no interest in conversing with your dumb ass over some dumb shit. There is actually IMPORTANT shit going on in the world, so talk to yourself whore. You're nothing. FUCK OFF.

To the OP, sorry for derailing your thread. Some people are just stupid as hell. Smh. Carry on, I'm out...😄

One.

I don't see anything inherently wrong with having multiple partenrs, it's just not for me. IMHO, the 'rules' of a relationship only matter to the people involved in that relationship. As long as you aren't lying to each other, sleep with as many people as you want, just leave me out of it. It the woman in the initial example wants to keep a bunch of guys around to fuck when she wants, that is her prerogative. The problem with doing so was explained in the example too. It's just sex. Sex is easy to find, I am more interested in a real connection with someone. I want intimacy, growth, companionship, I want my happily ever after. Even if ALL STDs were cured tomorrow, it would not impact who I slept with.

The most I've had at once is 2 lovers. There was no cheating involved- it was an out-in-the-open arrangement. One was my boyfriend, and the other was a mutual friend of ours. I like the IDEA of more than one lover, but the reality and the logistics were just too much to handle. I'll be sticking with one person.

i used to have multiple women, until i met my wife. she made me want to change and she taught me sex is not love. i thought i was giving love to the womem i had; it was just sex. i didnt know about love and giving my all to one person until she came in my life. now since we been together, it's just been her in my life and i've calmed my ways down drastically. im happy and wish for no other.

Thanks for you replies so far everyone! Keep 'em coming!

If I am not totally into someone I can talk to a few guys... But as for "lovers" I can only have one... If I feel as tho you are my lover i'm absolutley into you and want nothing to do with anyone else... The only way I'll talk to other guys if I have a lover is if i'm unsure of how they feel and i wanna try to keep my feelings balanced.

Scorp here....I can only love one.....very few and far in between. I need that deep connection, the bonding, the spiritual, the emotional, the sharing....its a gift I dont take lighly....fly by nights with no bonding connection simply not my style . I would much rather be alone loving myself, just not my style .

Posted by ScorpioHubby
i used to have multiple women, until i met my wife. she made me want to change and she taught me sex is not love. i thought i was giving love to the womem i had; it was just sex. i didnt know about love and giving my all to one person until she came in my life. now since we been together, it's just been her in my life and i've calmed my ways down drastically. im happy and wish for no other.

......its this right here.....the ultimate best......nicely said scorp =)

I am unlike everyone here who posted, and commented on their love being their way, or no way.

Mine is quite the opposite, in that I consider what my partner needs in love.

If s/he has a fantasy that involves another, or others .. then I want to give that, since s/he is a participant in the love.

Posted by missscorps
Scorp here....I can only love one.....very few and far in between. I need that deep connection, the bonding, the spiritual, the emotional, the sharing....its a gift I dont take lighly....fly by nights with no bonding connection simply not my style . I would much rather be alone loving myself, just not my style .

ahhh yes well put! Exactly how I feel.. I was with a capricorn for 4 years and didnt ghave a connection in anyway no bonding nothing and i couldnt stay there.. I just knew id be miserable forever.. Guess its my scorp venus?

Sleeping with a bunch of people isn't the only sign of dysfunction. I know plenty people who have had 3 lovers or less and they have the most fucked up relationships.

Cause it's not really about what a person does as much is it is about who they are.

Posted by aquaj
LibNicole I LOVE your new pic!

Thanks! :-)

Posted by Sag89
Sleeping with a bunch of people isn't the only sign of dysfunction. I know plenty people who have had 3 lovers or less and they have the most fucked up relationships.

Cause it's not really about what a person does as much is it is about who they are.

That's probably too real for people to get.

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by Sag89
Sleeping with a bunch of people isn't the only sign of dysfunction. I know plenty people who have had 3 lovers or less and they have the most fucked up relationships.

Cause it's not really about what a person does as much is it is about who they are.

That's probably too real for people to get.

click to expand

Haha yea

Keep those answers coming people!

I don't mind having multiple lovers at once or even going on dates with multiple people. Until I'm actually in a relationship, I like to get an idea of what different sorts of people are like before I settle down 🙂

This is coming from a double Cancer girl, lol! I think that its silly when people try to force their personal expectations onto other people. I have friends that are monogamous and other friends that might swing into open relationships when the time comes.

Everyone's different

Posted by P-Angel
I am unlike everyone here who posted, and commented on their love being their way, or no way.

Mine is quite the opposite, in that I consider what my partner needs in love.

If s/he has a fantasy that involves another, or others .. then I want to give that, since s/he is a participant in the love.

Yes! While I'd never be in an open relationship, if my future boyfriend or girlfriend wanted to have a threesome, gangbang or orgy, I'd TOTALLY be down! 😄

Posted by P-Angel
I am unlike everyone here who posted, and commented on their love being their way, or no way.

Mine is quite the opposite, in that I consider what my partner needs in love.

If s/he has a fantasy that involves another, or others .. then I want to give that, since s/he is a participant in the love.

just because someone is not into having open relationships, it doesnt make them selfish. most people choose to be traditional. there's nothing wrong with that. and those who are into open relationships can just mingle amongst themselves and same goes for those who aren't into that type of arrangement. neither group is selfish so i don't know what you're on about.

Posted by MelanieG

Posted by P-Angel
I am unlike everyone here who posted, and commented on their love being their way, or no way.

Mine is quite the opposite, in that I consider what my partner needs in love.

If s/he has a fantasy that involves another, or others .. then I want to give that, since s/he is a participant in the love.

just because someone is not into having open relationships, it doesnt make them selfish. most people choose to be traditional. there's nothing wrong with that. and those who are into open relationships can just mingle amongst themselves and same goes for those who aren't into that type of arrangement. neither group is selfish so i don't know what you're on about.

click to expand

Nothing in my post said that you are selfish .....



Is your panties wadded up your ass just for this post, or is it an affliction you suffer all the time ... either way, it would probably be to your benefit to rip those panties out and plug it because that way you won't be able to talk out of your ass anylonger = you won't be able to make a fool out of yourself due to being defensive.



::: shakes head :::


It absolutely amazes me how stupid people are.

Well guess what... i have two lovers...some things just happens oh well *shrugged shoulders*

....lol

I used to have 3 fu*k buddies, They knew about each other, BUT Honestly i prefer one, the reason i didnt is because i wasnt ready for anything long-term and the people i was with werent either, anytime me and a guy would break up one of those 3 would be at my grasp again, the man i am with now is a Cap, i have been 100% faithful too, and i dont see us breaking up, were too in love,and have too much in common, we have hit a rough spot or two and still pull through, and we have the same values. When i am with someone thats it i am only with that person, no matter how bad it gets, i wouldnt be with anyone else, point blank.

Personally, I wouldn't know what to do with more than one guy. I don't believe I have the time or the energy level required to keep them all entertained so only one for me please...

I tried the multiple thing, which was fun and exciting, but more than one partners do not satisfy me like one lover. Why? With a single lover, we're more enabled to reach emotional depths that are harder to even grasp with multiple lovers. I need to be able to tramp that emotive realm to really love, which means better sex, more fulfilled excitement and overall, better quality of relationship and living. I want that love that stems from the fibers of your being (lol). That's just my experience... Monogamy ain't that bad. 😉

One, for me.
It takes me a while to be comfortable with/around other people and my personality is pretty timid. In all honesty, I'd just feel awkward and uncomfortable with more than one person. I wouldn't know who to give my attention and feelings to and don't think it'd be possible for me to give those things equally to more than one person. To me, that's a no-no. My bond in relationships is more the emotional rather than physical. Not saying it's just emotional, but I have to have an emotional bond before the physical part comes in.

One lover at a time, please.

Posted by CherryOnTop
You know how certain people are naturally open to the idea of juggling multiple partners at the same time and might even find it thrilling whereas others might find that idea shocking and perhaps even fickle and immoral? Some people can easily hop from one partner to the next without much pause or thought or anything and are totally fine with superficial relationships whereas others like to stick to just one person and try to cultivate a deep connection with them.

I know this woman who keeps at least 7 lovers at her disposal at all times. She'll choose who to spend time with on any given day/week depending on her mood or who can offer her whatever she needs at the time (be it money, intellect, or good looks). She says she's been this way since she was a teen. I was sort of surprised that she was so nonchalant about all this. The men that she's dating are all like this too. They have other women on the side.

I asked her if she ever felt used or empty and she said no. When she reached out for help in the middle of a crisis, NONE of these men came to help her but she still continues to sleep with them. I was speechless. I really didn't know what to say. I felt very sad for her quite honestly.
But this is the way she chooses to live her life so who am I to openly pass judgement? Especially since she's a grown woman in her 30's who's fully capable of making her own decisions.


So anyhow I'm wondering what separates these two types of people. Which one are you and why?

OOoo I know a bitch like that. She's a scorpio and her appetite for sex is NOT human! lol 48 men and counting and this bitch is only 26. I'm not even joking. There's something wrong with her but I don't care about her enough to find out what's at the root of all that mess lol

Posted by PurrrrHissss
Just one for me. I have absolutely no interest in being with more than one person at a time. I could also never "share" someone because I am way too jealous and possessive. Oh, and if I were with someone who suggested an open relationship, I would be enraged and freak out just like aliennation's boyfriend did. I have Venus in Leo and feel that whoever I'm with should love and want me and ONLY me or GTFO, because when I'm with someone, that's how I am.

+192937473856847485

Venus in Aqua here but I am one jealous bitch lol (Sag sun)

1 at a time please

I just want to concentrate on having fun with 1 woman at a time . I don't share either. I,m just not into that..If I,m involved and sleeping with someone then they get all of me and thats how I like it If she wants more then one then she can go do whatever she wants but don't try to come back. I'm not a overly jealous person but sharing my g/f is just nuts to me.

Posted by Theultra79
Just one. I like passion. It's hard to have that with more than one person at a time. And, I'm too much of a romantic for multiples.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Lol

I've always been a one on one person. Doesn't having multiple partners get emotionally confusing at a certain point?