Second Round

Well, I've been a bit absent from this forum but I read many of you when I can. I felt that I needed to sort some things out before I would come back.

I know there are many things we could all talk about, but if you knew me in real life, you would know how much I talk about anything and everything in my 3-dimensional world. I think my purpose to come here has been mainly to get inputs about relationships as well as to get insights into the minds of some people, I've been gained more than that, so bear with me if you can...learning to love seems to be a journey.

When I came here I wanted some answers regarding some problems I had with my aqua girl at the time. Many people here were simply awesome in their time and responses. Thank you for that!

After my x-aqua girl and I broke up (after a year in the relationship) I felt a bit torn about what to do. I'm not the best at expressing my emotions and she wasn't very tactful about handling the breaking up process either. I felt that she was stringing me along for weeks and weeks after things ended?I don't know what was going on in her head, but I knew I needed to protect my heart from all that mess.

Eventually I gave up on the chance to being back with her and so I moved on with my life (of course only on my head). So, then I meet Ms. Libra, sweet and charming during this time. We really bonded quickly. Ms. Libra has a kid and I never dated someone with a kid, so it was new for me, but it was a chance I wanted to take. I love her child. She, like my x-aqua is older than me for few years and she is just as attractive and fun.
We dated for few months, and just as I was getting ready to ask her to be my gf?Ms. Aqua decides to get back in the picture...in her Aqua timing ways.

So, here I was torn for months after that between my Libra and my x-Aqua.
My Libra was so understanding and flexible that she said she wouldn't mind waiting while I figure things out, but she kept on persuading me to stay with her?.meanwhile my ex-Aqua was showing me what a changed woman she was.

When my x-Aqua and I reunited after the break-up for the first time (months after) she held me tight and cried?.she wouldn't let go?.she said ?I missed me so much??
?Why would she let me go in the first place then?? I wondered?but I had to leave, I had plans with the Libra girl?and I wanted to do the right thing?.and the right thing isn't always what I feel?

Continued...

I've tried to break-up or end the relationship with the cute Libra girl ever since then, but she would never give up. She really believes is a matter of me ?coming to my senses? she says.

I've been seeing them both (they know this). Since I never established I specific title with the Libra girl and since Ms. Aqua feels bad about the way she ended things, I think they both have been aloof to the idea of situation we all got in.

Anyhow, I'm coming to conclude that I care for them both in different ways?.I think my situation with Ms. Libra could be great, but even though I do yearn to be a parent one day, I don't know that I can give her everything she needs at this point in my life. I get nervous with the idea of a family on my own right now.I just got my first house, I'm slowly but surely achieving my career goals, but that little kid may need more than that wouldn't she? I have talked to the Libra girl about that and she says we should take things day by day. I want to be the best parent I can be one day, but I need to be in the right place in my life to do that should I tell her that again? Would I hurt her feelings if I say that? I've tried, but is so hard, because she acts like she gets it, but when we hang out again (she arranges ways to hang out) things end up happening and I feel guilty and we are in the same circle again. She's so great at trying to make a relationship work though...

Meanwhile, although Ms. Aqua is so very aloof and not always as dependable when it comes to talking (because of her personality and also work schedule)?she is where I am as far as what we can give and receive. Meaning?she gives me the sense that what she needs from me right now?is something I can give. She doesn't need much from me?other than my commitment and honesty?she lives her life I live mine?we meet somewhere in between?and yes at times I miss her a lot?.and she can't be there for me, as Ms. Libra can always?.but when my Aqua gives me her time, she is sweet?those few minutes of the day are nice. She could be a bit deeper in conversations?she could apply a bit more time and effort to strengthen our relationship?but maybe a side of my hopes than time and living in the same city could help.

Continued...

Clearly my Aqua girl loves me, but sometimes I wonder if our care for each other will last?.she wants similar things in life?and although we are very different in many ways?we can't stop the pull we feel towards each other?its weird?I don't know what it is. I don't think she knows either?we always end up holding each other with wondering eye...with her it isn't about physical closeness as much as the connection in our minds...with her sometimes is so hot and sometimes so cold...but we continue to stare into each other's eyes...what is it that we have for one another?

I think I need to have a good talk with the Aqua lady this week, to establish things and know what's going on once and for all. I also need to have the guts and the strength to pass on the inviting love Ms. Libra has for me if I don't feel ready. I did also considering cutting all ties with Ms. Aqua if she was going to hurt me again like she did the last time?but how would I know. I guess I'm scared. I can't base a decision only in what feels right. I'm taking in consideration all the facts, feelings, and timing we have?


If guess I'm bringing this up, because if I get back with my Aqua this week?I really want for things to be better than the last time?.I don't want to put a possible future friendship at risk if it isn't worth it, waste our time and care...and don't want to pass on the chance on being happy again...I want her to be happy though...but all that happiness I want for her and me...could come for us but inspite of us...

She says that she loves?but she had said that in the past?and yet she gave up so quickly when things weren't perfect. I'm a bit nervous, but I need to do it this week.

How good or how bad has it been for you to have any 2nd round you've taken with someone, especially an Aqua?

VLL

well, vll...i am not an aqua, but as you know i am giving my aqua a second chance and so far, so good! we have been back together since the beginning of september, and we are still going strong. but, i think if anyone can relate to how you are feeling right now, it would be me!!! i still wonder if my aqua will up and leave me again if one little thing goes wrong between us. b/c like yours, if things aren't ideal or perfect, then he runs. but like aquaaqi said on the other thread, it helps to reassure them from time to time and to let them know they can trust you 100% ...this is very key! you must constantly boost their ego and make them feel that everything is ok...

my aqua has not necessarily changed since we have gotten back together, but he has taken some things into consideration and he has respected my requests to the fullest...and i am grateful for that. but, of course i do still worry that he may leave again, and at that point i don't know what i would do...i just try to eliminate those thoughts from my mind, although it is hard when you have already been left by someone once...you have to wonder, will it happen again...

stop using the Libra girl. what you are doing is not fair or kind.

Ms Aqua is the conquest and you have to be willing to risk it all to win. Ms. Libra needs to be sent packing as you know that you don't want her like Ms Aqua and you'll always be wanting something better to come along.

The Libra gets it at an intellecual level but is emotionally invested that is why there is conflict.

** Ms. Libra needs to be sent packing

That is compassionate. @@

This guy totally jerked her over. I told him months ago not to get involved with this girl because he was pining over the Aqua but he didn't listen. Now she is going to be hurt for nothing.

I hate it when people are selfish like this and hurt others needlessly.

It's easy for you to judge since you have the 'told you so' card and you are right. However the heart doesn't always follow logic, and Ms. Libra offered to open up. It's a risk every time we try but she'll be ok because in the end she's open to trying and she'll find someone who loves her. She knew about Ms. Aqua right?

If she knew and got involved with a man pining for another girl then she doubly took her risks.

I am NOT excusing his actions at all, and he should set the record straight immediately. Karma can be a witch if he doesn't and he risks losing both.

** I am NOT excusing his actions at all, and he should set the record straight immediately.

But he won't. He is just going to dick her around more to feed his ego.

Yes it is a risk each time we try to love and are rejected. Each time makes it harder the next time. Finding out that you were just used while he was pining over his ex ... that is heartbreaking. For anyone!

And yes, she may know but that he is now seeing his ex but she is still going to be devestated when he goes back to her. Of course, when the Aqua leaves him again and he looks the Libra up the cycle continues.

BTW, I am not mad at you ladyvie. You just got a bit of the brunt there. Sorry about that.

I am, however, completely pissed with how this guy is going about his business and seeing how much he can take without any concern for anyone other than himself. Completely selfish.

Don't be angry... what will happen is obvious, he'll lose them both and they will be better off without him. Karma means he's going to get what's coming to him UNLESS he takes actions and cuts the emotional ties to Ms. Libra.

You know what's funny though is if cuts Ms. Libra he might finally realize that he had what he was looking for all along and chase her instead. But he'll only be happy with one of these women IF HE does something now.

If what you say is true then he's a player and players definately wind up alone and bitter.

I have calmed down. 🙂

I think this guy should just not date anyone till he can treat others with respect and be a true partner to someone. Until then, everyone is going to get hurt.

Isn't very common for Libras to have a difficult time making a decision?

If so, perhaps this is the reason he is in this situation and it is this situation that will help him learn this lesson.

*Isn't IT very*

oh wow, i didn't know how my butt could get kicked over the internet lol

little sparrow, i responded to you in the virgo forum...i know you are speaking from your heart, but i'm just being honest about where i am and i'm not lying to any of them...where we are...is where we ALL are choosing to be, and that's why i am here...i don't like playing games, this is serious choice for me...
i'm not asking to choose who i should love...but rather who i should date. love doesn't come easily it isn't a choice for me...i think it may a result of many different things...

and just to clarify, i've been SEEING them...neither one is my girlfriend, and i don't sleep with either. i have kissed one of them, so that's what i meant when i say things have happened...i only talk and get together with them...and then know they whole situation...i think you are right about ms. libra thinking with her heart and not her head sometimes, but i can't make that choice for her either...i've told her many times where i am and what i can and cannot give...but she has her own ideas of how things are...she thinks i will come to my senses one day.

the aqua girl on the other hand keeps on going on with her life, so she wants me, but she acts like it doesn't matter for her how we get there...maybe is her aloof side, or maybe she protects her heart that way...who knows...

who would i be here asking all this if i wouldn't care about either littlesparrow? why would i apply hours of my busy life to log into a "signs" forum to vent? maybe i do care more than you think i do...

ladyvie,

the aqua girl defenitely intrigues me that is very true. i know you didn't mean anything bad by what you shared, i gotcha. i think lil' sparrow has her opinion and i respect that...and i read what you say about bad karma...so i just hope that if someone is torn between me and someone else at some point, they are as honest as i have been...and handle things in much better ways...sometimes i just don't know how to do things perfectly i have to admit....but i didn't anything bad by dating libra or wondering about my ex again...i just needed to be completely honest somewhere and i chose this place. plus both girls have her deals too...so what i share here is only 30% of what's really going on and what the whole picture entails. i hope you understand one day...maybe even little sparrow will.

freewill,

Continued...

Free bird,

The funny thing is that although I am Virgo, I have a Venus in Libra...so yes, maybe I am a bit indecisive in the dating department sometimes because of that...but like good Virgos and good Libras...when I make a choice I stick with it through good and bad times...

I wasn't the one who gave up in my last relationship. It was her.
And I didn't gave up on Ms. Libra either, because I was hoping things will get more clear and so was she...

What I have learn so far has been that I shouldn't date someone right away after I break up with someone...even though they may be good-looking, sweet, and charming....my heart should take a rest a bit before I venture again...I just thought I could handle it...but deep inside I probably needed more time...

If I would have met the cute Libra at a different time, I'm sure we would have been for a looooong time....because of how much effort she puts in making things workd and how easy is to get along with her...

But she has a kid now, she also has broken up with her exbf shortly before we met (for a minute she even though she was going to have a second kid from him while we were dating because they has been together days before we met again) so it isn't as simple and colorful as it seems. I have been very patience and understanding too at times with her...but those kind of impulsive actions she sometimes have and other stuff she deals with made question things and I stayed where I am...

At that time Ms Aqua came along apologizing for the way she ended things and wanted a second chance...so here I was beginning to felt torn...and ever since then has been one step forward and one backwards...

Anyway, I'm meeting Aqua girl tonight to talk about everything. Ms Libra is talking with her exbf herself tonight too.

Until next time...

Oh my goodness! my head is spinning - my,my, MY.. the webs we weave for ourselves.

You definately are learning more about yourself VLL and this is ALL GOOD. You are also realizing that when a woman comes out of a relationship you most likely are the "rebound" guy till she gets her wounds healed.

The Aqua girl...so, she comes back to you. Hmmm....what do YOU want? I have an aqua guy that keeps trying to get back with me but....in my heart of hearts I KNOW it is not for my benefit but only for his.

Hope your talk goes well VLL - may the FORCE be with you. 😉

Don't beat yourself up over wondering what you should do. When your heart finally decides then you'll know. I struggle with patience myself, so I get being indecisive. Just don't let it go so far that you string people along indefinately.

By asking the question I see that you are a good guy.

Do you want the intriguing Aqua or the lovely libra? Only you can decide this.

He is in love with the Aqua. He is just denying it because he doesn't want to get hurt. The Libra loves him and feeds his ego making her safe.