what is going on?!!

i need some help in wrapping this around my brain. my ex and i have apart for over 3 months with no communication between us. he has though maintained contact with my friends always bringing my name up but in the meantime told me that i need to move on with my life as he has done the same. the friends that he maintains contact with are married. lo and behold, i went to a birthday party and he shows up. no words were spoken between us but you see that he was looking at me the whole time. (i was sharp,lol). he stayed the whole duration just looking at me and saying nothing. the obvious thing is he did not move with his life because he came to the party and stayed. plus he tells my girlfriends that he still loves me, etc. if had moved on, you would not make it a point to infiltrate my circle of friends,right? we've always had a great relationship with the typical ups and downs. the break up was my fault. i kinda came undone and took it out on him,which i papologized profusely for. what kind of dumb game is he playing? we're not kids, we're in our 30's. he's an aries and i'm a capricorn. any sight? should i pay attention to all this. i love this man and would love to make this work but he's being defiant and taking a stance as if he's thru with this relationships but his actions say something else. i think he is being passive agressive (he has cancer rising).

His actions match his words.



Just because he has befriended the same people as you doesn't mean he wants you.
Just because he gets invited to the same social event as you .. doesn't mean that it was all about you.
Just because he still loves you doesn't mean he wants to be in a relationship with you.
Just because he looks at you, doesn't mean he wants to be with you.


Because you want him .... you are misinterpreting him.



A person is capable of loving a person, while realizing that they are not compatible.



He sounds very mature.

i did iniatiate contact with him but it did not turn out very well for us. i expressed my feelings to him and asked if we could talk about what is going on with us. i told him that i love him, i needed him and that i was so sorry for the way i had acted. he was emotional about the whole situation and said that he would call me later to talk about it. but then his male friend got confrontational towards me, calling me a b****, i was no good for him,etc. mind you, my ex and i interacted as we were a married couple with joint financial and parenting responsibilities while living in our own homes. from the way i see it, the friend was an interference and had no right to say anything. he acted like he was going to hit me? my ex defended me and jumped in front of me but nonetheless, it was too much drama. he's very upset the whole thing.

p-angel- i beg to differ. i didnt mind that he showed up because i was with other people that he doesnt know but there was no reason for him to be there because he didnt know anyone else there but me. he approached everyone in MY circle and conversed with them in my face. no big deal, it was a party. i believe that when you are truly done with someone, you cut all ties as i have seen him do in the past with his other ex. i think he was being immature about it and he wasnt being real.

i agree with ur statement. i have been doing that but its easier to move on when they are out of sight and out of mind. it feels like he's still lurking around and i'm being punished. the whole situation is too crazy and i'm trying not to put too much thought to all of this but my intuition goes up and i feel like this is all game. if its over, let it be over. dont contact my friends about me, dont be where i'm at, and be true to what you say. his actions dont match his words. i'm not saying that because i'm hopeful that we'll get back together. i've resigned myself to the fact that it'll never happen. but in the meantime, do i not go to parties and stop speaking to all my friends because he wants to be in my circle of friends? not gonna happen. he needs to respect the situatioh and go about himself and his business. these are my best friends for over 20 years. he just met them last year.

thanx ariessun- those were my exact sentiments. believe me, i groveled, cried, apologized & all that you stated and under normal circumstances, it never would have happened but the alcohol certainly helped. i figured that i put myself out there and now it is up to him to figure out what he wants. i am surrounded by aries (2 kids, son's g-friend,mom,dad,2 best friends) so i can tell when they are still over. my best friend is going thru it with her cappy ex and i see the games she plays. my parents have been divorced over 10 years and its still on and off. my son and his girl,etc. so i know i'm not crazy.

no matter how bad it got between us, i never told him to grow up or told him that he was immature. thats a big no-no in aries eyes. i'm gonna give it a few days and then reach out. i tried to break the ice but his friend (male @ that) was blocking. he doesnt like me because i dont agree with his life style but @ least the feeling is mutual. i always kept my mouth shut about it though. he needs to come to his own conclusion about that. when i tried talking to him, he kept telling that it was time to, i told u about that b****, she's no good. i was appalled! no one has ever spoken ill about me like that to me. i'm a good person. i believe in karma. he's a very negative person and i feel like he has gotten in the way of our relationship in a big way but you cant make an aries man's decisions for him or expect him to choose. i wouldnt even pose that to him.

no matter how bad it got between us, i never told him to grow up or told him that he was immature. thats a big no-no in aries eyes. i'm gonna give it a few days and then reach out. i tried to break the ice but his friend (male @ that) was blocking. he doesnt like me because i dont agree with his life style but @ least the feeling is mutual. i always kept my mouth shut about it though. he needs to come to his own conclusion about that. when i tried talking to him, he kept telling that it was time to, i told u about that b****, she's no good. i was appalled! no one has ever spoken ill about me like that to me. i'm a good person. i believe in karma. he's a very negative person and i feel like he has gotten in the way of our relationship in a big way but you cant make an aries man's decisions for him or expect him to choose. i wouldnt even pose that to him.

no false hope given......i'm just looking for insight into his behavior. i've moved on the best i know how to but him showing up didnt help none. he words dont match his actions. if he wants to work it out, then fine, lets work it out. if not, leave me to enjoy my life with my FRIENDS and go about my business. i dont feel the need to lurk around someone i know longer have an interest in. if its over, its over. cut all ties and have a nice life. thats the way i see it. i feel like he is trying to prevent me from moving on in a way.

not much is going to go on because i need to ponder what i want from this relationship. maybe i'm trying to find some rationality from all this (cap with gemini moon,aquarius venus but i do have taurus rising) so unfortunately, i always think and overanalyze everything. i believe there is always a motive to someone's behavior whether its conscious or not. and i agree, ariessun, telling me to move was not warranted nor should he had to feel the need to say that. if you are doing it, there's no need to state it. it makes him look transparent. i just hate all the game playing. i cant fight for something if its one sided. he knows now where i stand. let him make the next move. if not, another man's junk is another man's treasure. it'll be his loss in the end because i feel i have been proactive in dealing with my issues and have made some progress. it has not been an easy year for us caps....lol. only the strong survive.

thanx for the encouragement, ariessun. you've been very insightful. its definitely not past the point of reconcialition. maybe we need this time apart. he is so sensitive though. unfortunately, we both have big egos and everything with us is like a chinese standoff. i am sometimes dont realize how harsh on him sometimes but i've been working on it. he takes the whole bros before ho's too far but i understand. i never thought i meet another aries with a cancer rising....u must be a handful too. lol....if u dont mind,what is your moon? his is sag.

i can see the push and pull of having a cancer rising with an aries sun. but the sun is the ego....sag does make him forgiving and i know that its hard for him to let go with a venus taurus and cancer rising. like my girlfriend tells me, he never really went anywhere and she's an aries. i can tell that he was really surprised that i revealed my emotions to him because i'm so cerebral sometimes. you would never know i had emotions underneath it all. i'm like a volcano.....slow to rise but overflowing. relationships are so hard especially for those of us who have air planets.

Hmmm.... shaks isn't far off. I agree with him.
You put yourself out there, said what you had to say, and you aren't back together. It sounds pretty cut and dry to me.

An Aries guy will do absolutely whatever he wants cockblocked or not. TRUST ME. They listen to nobody. If he wanted to be with you he'd be with you especially if you grovelled and apologized. That would have stroked his ego enough for him to look like the "winner" and allowed him to graciously accept your apology.

Sounds like he's playing a game by hanging out with your friends OR (gasp) he had made genuine friendships with them and feels like he has every right to be friends with them as you given he's known them a year.

It's your call if you want to play the run around game or get on with your life. It seems you choose to let him get under your skin for now ... but that's not HIS problem. If you want the game playing to stop........stop responding to it.

Simple 🙂

my friends were never his friends to begin with. they dont feel that it is a good idea to maintain contact with him since he and i are no longer. but as an aries, he does not listen, of course. it would be 1 thing if he was calling to speak about something else but he calls to speak about me. big no no in the best friends handbook. my friends dont want to be his friend. they want no involvement and feel that if he has something to say, call me. i dont like playing games as i like to talk everything out. i put it out there, i'm done. he's being a punk....even after that night, he still called my friends to talk about me. he's being childish. i believe when you are done, your done. no hanging on to anything or anyone. i'm not being sucked into anything. the alcohol didnt help me none but it gave me courage to say all that i wanted to say and thats it. he hasnt heard from me in 3 mos and i prefer to keep it that way if doesnt want to work it out. theres no need for lurking around. let me move on as i have been doing and everyone can have a nice life. simple.

thanx aries- i will definitely keep you posted. my brother told me the same thing that you were telling me to do as far as contacting him. we'll see.....

ariessun- i just learned from our business partner that his grandmom passed. i reached out via text and gave sympathies and condolences. he responded, nothing but small talk. but at least he responded back.