What is it with me and relationships?

Is this a Virgo thing or something lots of signs suffer from?

Generally I am friendly, confident, approachable and easy-going. I find it easy enough to break the ice with strangers and seem to be quite well liked. When I make a connection with a woman I generally feel confident and have no nerves on a first date and generally have no trouble making conversation. Being quite shy and reserved I have to force myself to kiss a woman goodnight at the end of a first date, but I manage okay.

However, after I have seen a woman a few times my confidence evaporates. I become very anxious and find myself constantly worrying that they don't like me and are not going to want to see me again. Even small things, like they forget to put a kiss on the end of a text or e-mail, make me feel totally paranoid that they are trying to provide subtle signs that they don't like me anymore.

I wish I could just fast-forward to the point where the relationship is established and I know they're always going to be there in my life. Is this just me, or a Virgo thing, or something everyone suffers from?

honestly, i think everyone has those moments/feelings while dating. sometimes it's tough to read people, and the period you're referring to is horrible for "real" communication.

A fast-forward switch would be useful, though of course, some enjoy the thrill of the chase.

I think this feeling comes about when you start to realise that you really like someone and that you don't want to lose them. Ironically when you start to worry like this you change your behaviour to try to hang on to them, and that changed behaviour actually increases your risk of losing them because they were attracted to the confident person that they started dating, not the anxious person that you have become.

When you seek advice people say "be yourself", but being yourself can be the hardest thing in the world when you find yourself actually having to try!

And why does it never feel like they are going through the same thing?

VirgoM20, first let me apologize for my past post on the taurus board (I have a feeling your sensitive, but it's a good thing)... I hope you don 't think all taurus's are horrible people...that said, I couldn't help but chuckle at how we all "ganged up" on you when you had started to show interest in other women (than your ex-taurus).. however with regards to your dilemma about worrying about if women aren't reciprocating your feelings I think that has to do your birthdate (numerology) more so than astrology. Your birthdate is very indicative of a person who is kind, gentle and with extremely tender/sensitive feelings, family oriented, sentimental and probably ready to please.. infact your probably more "canceresque" in the way you display feelings than a virgo, hence the need for constant emotional reassurance (and panicking when not given any). I think it's best to wait it out for someone who can give you the emotional security that you crave..(keep yourself occupied i.e: work) instead rushing into a relationship to fill the void/ loneliness (because ending a 8 year relationship was probably a shock to your "system"). Also, yes! please be yourself, and try not to take everyone's actions to heart dear..just because she doesn't end the text with a kiss doesn't mean she likes you any less..she may have a different way of showing you she cares..if all else fails don't panick, just listen yourself..your gut instincts are usually your best survival tool in navigating you through the "dating phase".

it sounds normal to me. i think u feel that way cuz in the beginning they don't know u and ur aware of that. u can show them all ur good sides and that's all they see. however, when u delve deeper into the relationship they start getting to know more about u and seeing all sides to u... even the "bad" side. u become more emotionally invested in the person as time goes on and u want them to accept u as u are. i think u become paranoid because u fear that if they see all of u then they won't be interested anymore. thus leaving u alone again to start over. maybe u really like them and u badly want reciprocation. it sounds like a case of fear of rejection to me.

Posted by ninjamu
it sounds like a case of fear of rejection to me.

Rejection is indeed my number one fear. This was a major factor in my walking away from the woman I was seeing up until the beginning of October. She always came across and cool and indifferent toward me and in the end it felt like rejection even though she hasn't finished with me as such, and I couldn't take any more of it.

hehe... go and love urself first, my good man! when u truly love u for u then it will no longer matter if anyone "rejects" u. u will realize that it's not u, it is them. right now it is your problem and u have to want to change that. when get things right on the inside, everything outside will fall into place. cheers!