What went wrong...?

So me and my aeris boi have been dating for nearly 2 years now.

In the beginning, everything was fun and exciting. We would go places and do things all the time, he would take me out, have AMAZING sex!!! (that i miss and im sure he misses every single day) and we just got eachother. Overall, we were great for each other.

moving right along, he tends to keep in touch with his ex's. this isn't normally an issue, but he's rather flirty... He usually see's a specific ex, that he used to love, from time to time due to to mutual friends. at the start of our relationship, there was a little bit of an issue between me and him about this specific girl i'll refer to as jill. Well long story short, he chose me over her. They had a history and they were about to rekindle it before I came along. It was a bit dramatic (and annoying!!!) but we got past it.

durring the relationship I hear from a mutual friend that he slept with her. I confronted him about it and he said it was for closure and I believed him... like an idiot cuz i love the guy =\

present day, we get into an argument and he goes back to her and drops me cold turkey. he said its because I gave him shit whenever he wanted to talk to her. Thats so irrational in my opinion! Where did it go wrong? was this doomed from the start? everything was perfect one minute and wrong the next... how do i make sense of this aeris boy!!!

It was doomed from the start.

I think it was doomed from the start. Not because you're bad, but because you felt like you were the winner when you got with this emotionally fickle man. It might have seemed great that he "picked you over her", but him needing closure after yall were together clearly showed that in his mind, that decision he made to be with you wasnt final and what's happened recently is just the proof, despite what he said earlier that it wasnt for closure. Next time you run into a guy thats in a situation like this, if it ever happens again, give him time, at least 6 months, to really see if he's over the ex.

what do I do with him now though? its naive to say, but i still love this man. should I dump him and give him the space he wants? He always seems so happy with space that it just seems like he wants me out of the picture. but when it comes down to it, he wants me around. I hate being jerked around like this. why cant he just make up his mind!!

I feel like I have to make up his mind for him, but then he just takes it as "you wanna get rid of me? then fine! off i go to the next big thing!" is he just putting up a front? or is he just not caring? Its just hard to let go of someone you love and let them be happy... I feel like i only bring him pain.

How do i fix this? break it? how do i keep this aeries man interested? what are my options? i feel like i have none

i know your right. i just needed to hear it from someone else. thanks

Don't Play games along with him, it will only result in you getting hurt even more. Move on to someone who really wants you because this guy doesn't.

hmm, wouldnt say it was doomed from the start, last i checked aires men dont settle. from every aires male i've ever met, they never settle, they are very fickle and choose there women strickly on her tactics. rethink ur battle plan, if ur a cancer girl get him mentally addicted, change something up. if hes going back to his ex, theres something not happening that used to. obviously u were brand new and that keeps anyone interesting, but hey you never really know anyone right? so show him things he doesnt know about you.

and if he goes and messes with that chick... personally that calls out my jealousy... i kno u love him, but u cant let urself get walked on, so kick his ass!

He already did all that. He didn't go and sleep with his ex for closure he slept with her because he wanted too and to let her know that he's still into her thats why they are back together. He went back to his ex so that means thats who he wants to be with. She will be looking a fool still trying to go after him when he has already proved in the end who he wanted his choice to be and thats the ex.

i mean honestly all answers point to get rid of the idiot, or stay in it and twist the situation around, but do u really see urself doing what hes done back to you? walking out might be the hardest thing, but it would be the healthest. i highly recommend finding out what you really wanna do in life, before thinking about anything else. this other person doesnt exist and waiting for answers always leave u waiting forever.

i had the option to cheat on him right back. like... yesterday! i couldn't go through with it tho. my body wouldn't work. I still think of the fool and i just dont know anymore. I've seen him at his worst and brought him back up. When he needed me i was there. And he is a great guy who always stands up for me in any social setting. He holds me like i'm his and yet he always seems to have his own agenda.

Like, one minute i'll feel loved and were perfect. then the next minute i'm tossed to the side. im so confused. I would honestly rather be over him..

So you just said it, ditch him. keep your morals in tact and say fuck it, no reason to go stressing over some guy. in theory the longer ur dwelling the longer ur keeping that door of yours locked, so no new guys will ever come to you if you stay dwelling. One door closed, a new window opened. if u keep that door stuck open even just a crack for him... nothings gonna come in the window

exactly the same thing has happened to me,his ex phoned one night when he was with me i never said anything but after six months he went back to her ,i have still phoned him a couple of times ,he is not nasty or cold towards me but has not being able to speak in fact he has been quite nice.my first thought was to keep in touch on the hopes the tables would be turned,him come back to me again,but now im going to end contact altogether and see what happens.not even sure i would want him back now

You shouldn't. Why set yourself up for the same thing to happen again.

"So you just said it, ditch him. keep your morals in tact and say it, no reason to go stressing over some guy. in theory the longer ur dwelling the longer ur keeping that door of yours locked, so no new guys will ever come to you if you stay dwelling. One door closed, a new window opened. if u keep that door stuck open even just a crack for him... nothings gonna come in the window"

So true!

thanks phoenix, your probably right. maybe I should let him do the chasing. I found a few hot guys over the weekend so i feel alot better. I know it wouldn't be so terrible to be single again. I just miss the man I fell in love with. I dont think anyone can replace the man he used to be... not even himself.

You always feel that way until you get a real love in your life. You never feel you can get any better than what you once had but let me be the one to tell you that it does and will be better. Thats when you get the real thing that it.