Where does it go?

Hello peeps! So, just food for thought. Has anyone every been in a situation that your friendship with someone initially started on being attracted to one another and with loads of chemistry? Then timing doesn't allow for you to be together, but you develop an amazing friendship. 5 years of it still being there, finally, time allows the opportunity, but the chemistry and fireworks have gone? It's kind of a bummer. Close we still are, haven't skipped a beat... but where's the love gone and will it come back? Or perhaps we have just spent way too much time together and are friendship has become stronger then the risk of more?

On a side bar. I met a Capricorn male for the first time. Turns out he's the gentleman I've thought I always wanted or would appreciate, but his being just too gosh darn nice was a turn off. WTH.

Hi Tizani, yeah, it's a bit backwards here I feel. It started out at first site, and then reverted to just friendship, or that's how I feel anyways. I'm thinking that perhaps building the friendship and developing it into what it is now, perhaps has become a buzz kill for a relationship. Knowing one another so well and being around each other so much.

You will have your opportunity, when you least expect it my friend :-)

You described a typical long term relationship. Passion doesn't usually resurrect. Some are still able to perform if they ignite their lust elsewhere and then project it onto the partner.

My advice would be to keep the friendship as it is and go for the Capricorn.

Undine, yes, that is great advice. I don't feel it, and I'm not one to force or try to create if I don't feel it. It's just a bummer, as I feel it just seems like it would be right.

Posted by kindness


On a side bar. I met a Capricorn male for the first time. Turns out he's the gentleman I've thought I always wanted or would appreciate, but his being just too gosh darn nice was a turn off. WTH.

What the hell, indeed. "...too gosh darn nice...." Geesh, cry me a river!!!!

As others here have mentioned, the immediate passion doesn't last. You have to actually have some foundation in shared experiences, common goals, world view etc. You need to be "friends" with your partner, or you don't really have a partner.

I know right!? We were walking through a crowded place, and he would put his arms out so that people wouldn't bump me, super affectionate in public, would tuck my hair behind my ears, if a guy glanced my way, he would put his arm around me... it was super sweet. I just think that, and I hate to say it, but I'm just not use to that. I guess I just felt a bit suffocated, but that is just my initial feeling, by no means a bad on his part. I just need to be open minded and allow myself the opportunity to adjust.

Ah, ooooh, hmmmm......

It seems to me that what you are describing is more than "nice," and closer to possessive. If this was like very early in your time with this person, well, it sort of makes me itch....

HI dofaac, yes??_ VERY early, like first date early.

^^^Operator Error, please ignore (like I am giving you a choice)

*whispering* You mustn't tell any of the other Aries, but I am going to use the "B" (boundaries) word, OK...

It strikes me that Mr. Cap has some "B" issues. I don't have much to go on, but he certainly seems to have decided you belong to him, and that is that. It appears to very very controlling type stuff, and as I say, it makes me itch.

Hello dofaac! Ok then, I thought that perhaps I have just been out of the dating scene for a bit or perhaps just haven't been dating the affectionate, PDA and all of the above type of guys, but it was a bit much it appears.

Posted by tiziani
Personally I would have love to know how to build a friendship into a relationship but I've never managed to nail that one down. Always "love at first sight" type affairs.

This is on my bucket list also. It has always been...strong infatuation turned into love fast. It wasn't even lust because it did manifest in a long term relationship.

I have way too much fire in my chart for my own good.

Posted by kindness

.... his being just too gosh darn nice ...

gosh darn

Yeah, perhaps it was never there and we were both just intrigued at the idea that there could be someone of the opposite sex that we could be so compatible with and be sexually attracted to one another as well, but perhaps on a deeper level, it doesn't go beyond friendship. I get it :-)

I noted my confusion in another one of your threads, Kindness. You got some "splainin" to do....

Hi dofacc! I know right?! The cap was only a few dates, and I didn't go out with him again after I posted that thread on here, I only spoke to him on 2 occasions. So, it's fair to say he was completely out of the picture when the "incident" happened. Is it horrible that I cringe just thinking about the Cap? Eeeeewwww.

Posted by kindness
Yeah, perhaps it was never there and we were both just intrigued at the idea that there could be someone of the opposite sex that we could be so compatible with and be sexually attracted to one another as well, but perhaps on a deeper level, it doesn't go beyond friendship. I get it :-)

Try stepping back a bit & see what happens. Maybe don't be so available & spend so much time together. Get busy with other ppl/things. Create a lil mystery.

I totally get where you are coming from. Time seems like it can be our worst enemy with these situations, but I also think we can use time to our advantage by trying the stuff above. If it doesn't help at least you'll still have the friendship. I have the same thing going on right now with my friend. I'm stepping back & hoping to reignite the attraction. Good luck 🙂