The break up threat

You know the ones... when the going gets tough, they discuss breaking up, but it's just a threat and they really don't want to break up.

How does it affect your relationship afterwards?

Which sign would you say resorts to this??

it is childish but lots resort to this... or feel like they have to, to at least get a reaction from the other who possibly isn't as open about their feelings

I do that when the person I'm in a relationship with gives me too much stress. I actually pack up & leave, only to return when I cool down. Some of us have very low tolerance for stress. Oh & it's business as usual. Nothing changes just because I spazzed out. Destiny tends to pair me with people who get my mercurial moods.

I'm not sure if I'd tolerate it if it were done to me, though. I don't do well with threats. Just leave & don't come back. Double standards I know. Oh well.

Posted by WaterCup
I do that when the person I'm in a relationship with gives me too much stress. I actually pack up & leave, only to return when I cool down. Some of us have very low tolerance for stress. Oh & it's business as usual. Nothing changes just because I spazzed out. Destiny tends to pair me with people who get my mercurial moods.

I'm not sure if I'd tolerate it if it were done to me, though. I don't do well with threats. Just leave & don't come back. Double standards I know. Oh well.

so you actually break up and leave?

Posted by strudel
it doesn't always have to be about feelings.

most of the time it's about a brat not getting what they want and resorting to manipulation.

you're right some are just bratty... a good friend of mine (Sagittarius) does this every 3 to 4 months, I don't get why he keeps taking her back LOL

Posted by aquapiscescusp

Posted by WaterCup
I do that when the person I'm in a relationship with gives me too much stress. I actually pack up & leave, only to return when I cool down. Some of us have very low tolerance for stress. Oh & it's business as usual. Nothing changes just because I spazzed out. Destiny tends to pair me with people who get my mercurial moods.

I'm not sure if I'd tolerate it if it were done to me, though. I don't do well with threats. Just leave & don't come back. Double standards I know. Oh well.

so you actually break up and leave?

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Yes. I don't know why but I don't want to be around the person when I'm upset with them for whatever reason. I've done it with 2 guys so far. The ones I lived with. It didn't happen with the other 2 I didn't live with. Couple's spats.

Posted by Prince_Pisces
I don't think it would matter. I would just remind him I could have him replaced within a week anyway LOL!

LOL, that's the right answer for sure 😉

Posted by WaterCup

Posted by aquapiscescusp

Posted by WaterCup
I do that when the person I'm in a relationship with gives me too much stress. I actually pack up & leave, only to return when I cool down. Some of us have very low tolerance for stress. Oh & it's business as usual. Nothing changes just because I spazzed out. Destiny tends to pair me with people who get my mercurial moods.

I'm not sure if I'd tolerate it if it were done to me, though. I don't do well with threats. Just leave & don't come back. Double standards I know. Oh well.

so you actually break up and leave?

Yes. I don't know why but I don't want to be around the person when I'm upset with them for whatever reason. I've done it with 2 guys so far. The ones I lived with. It didn't happen with the other 2 I didn't live with. Couple's spats.

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OK... but how about taking a walk or going to a friend's place -- just curious why the extreme.

It's an immature thing to do, and there are immature people within every sign.

But IMO immature mutables are the most likely to verbalize or use the "break up threat". Other signs/modalities might think it, but they are the most likely to say it.

Posted by aquapiscescusp

Posted by WaterCup

Posted by aquapiscescusp

Posted by WaterCup
I do that when the person I'm in a relationship with gives me too much stress. I actually pack up & leave, only to return when I cool down. Some of us have very low tolerance for stress. Oh & it's business as usual. Nothing changes just because I spazzed out. Destiny tends to pair me with people who get my mercurial moods.

I'm not sure if I'd tolerate it if it were done to me, though. I don't do well with threats. Just leave & don't come back. Double standards I know. Oh well.

so you actually break up and leave?

Yes. I don't know why but I don't want to be around the person when I'm upset with them for whatever reason. I've done it with 2 guys so far. The ones I lived with. It didn't happen with the other 2 I didn't live with. Couple's spats.

OK... but how about taking a walk or going to a friend's place -- just curious why the extreme.

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Because I take in a lot before I even reach that point. That's just who I am. I build up until I can't take it no more, that's when I say "I've had enough of you" & leave. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't happen often. About 7 times combined, the separations. Those two were a total of a little over 9 years put together (2 years 9 months in one & 5 years 6 months in another one). So it's not like I blew up every second.

Posted by Andalusia

It's an immature thing to do

Posted by WaterCup

Posted by aquapiscescusp

Posted by WaterCup

Posted by aquapiscescusp

Posted by WaterCup
I do that when the person I'm in a relationship with gives me too much stress. I actually pack up & leave, only to return when I cool down. Some of us have very low tolerance for stress. Oh & it's business as usual. Nothing changes just because I spazzed out. Destiny tends to pair me with people who get my mercurial moods.

I'm not sure if I'd tolerate it if it were done to me, though. I don't do well with threats. Just leave & don't come back. Double standards I know. Oh well.

so you actually break up and leave?

Yes. I don't know why but I don't want to be around the person when I'm upset with them for whatever reason. I've done it with 2 guys so far. The ones I lived with. It didn't happen with the other 2 I didn't live with. Couple's spats.

OK... but how about taking a walk or going to a friend's place -- just curious why the extreme.

Because I take in a lot before I even reach that point. That's just who I am. I build up until I can't take it no more, that's when I say "I've had enough of you" & leave. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't happen often. About 7 times combined, the separations. Those two were a total of a little over 9 years put together (2 years 9 months in one & 5 years 6 months in another one). So it's not like I blew up every second.

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Hey, sometimes we have to do what we have to do... I get it 🙂

If someone did that to me, I couldn't trust them again though.

Earth signs resort to this more. Because we believe people should automatically adhere to a system and god forbid them not wanting to.

I only said it once in my life and I was young. It obviously fucked the connection up.

If I hear something that sounds like an ultimatum, I am out of there long before the ultimatum gets accomplished.

Posted by aquapiscescusp

Posted by Prince_Pisces
I don't think it would matter. I would just remind him I could have him replaced within a week anyway LOL!

LOL, that's the right answer for sure 😉

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+1 PP always has the best answers. 😄

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by aquapiscescusp

Posted by Prince_Pisces
I don't think it would matter. I would just remind him I could have him replaced within a week anyway LOL!

LOL, that's the right answer for sure 😉

+1 PP always has the best answers. 😄

click to expand

yeah almost robotic :p

Hmmm...I can't relate to this behavior. I delivered an ultimatum one time in an important relationship, the person declined, and I left. For good.

I have VERY limited patience for empty threats.

If anyone threatened me with that, I'd make it easy for them....by breaking up with them right on the spot. I just don't have the time or desire to hold anyone prisoner.

Posted by CreoleGeisha
Hmmm...I can't relate to this behavior. I delivered an ultimatum one time in an important relationship, the person declined, and I left. For good.

I have VERY limited patience for empty threats.

Did you give them time to reflect on the ultimatum?

It's a sign of an unstable relationship tho sometimes people really do reach their breaking point and are telling you they've had enough. Can be tricky to tell, which makes the length of the relationship and context of the fight so important.

Posted by aquapiscescusp
You know the ones... when the going gets tough, they discuss breaking up, but it's just a threat and they really don't want to break up.

How does it affect your relationship afterwards?

Which sign would you say resorts to this??

Anyone who does this is insecure with themselves and should not be in any relationship regardless of what sign they are. If anyone had inflicted a threat like that to me, there would be no relationship immediately after the threat was made. Pretty simple.

Posted by aquapiscescusp
How does it affect your relationship afterwards?

I start losing interest little by little and start pulling back emotionally. You won't be getting much out of me after that.

If one's going to threaten it, they better be willing to follow through. If you're going to talk the walk, you better walk the walk.

Posted by tiziani
It's usually by someone who's afraid of the other leaving them, so they threaten to leave first.

Bingo!! That was exactly my position. Not to say I'm proud of having that discussion but I did that w/ my first Taurus relationship. I only talked to him about leaving bc I was afraid he was going to leave me first, that and the weird ways he started showing. It wasn't that I wanted to "threat" or have any kind of power over the relationship, but I really felt that I would get hurt by him, even though I didn't really want to leave. I think in the moment u're trying to shield yourself and go bc u think it's the best thing to do, but you don't wanna go bc you truly do care for this person, at least that's how I felt. Could've been immaturity. Could've been insecurity, either way, we did break up and it was the best decision after all.

Used to do this when I was very young (early teens) Finally my ex just got up and left one day, with me sitting there wondering what the hell was wrong with him (typical Scorpio reaction). We did get back together a month later, but it was a lesson for sure. I don't pull that silly crap anymore, and if anyone did so with me I'd probably leave out of anger. I don't like being threatened at all.

I'll add that this is a lot different then seriously airing your concerns for the relationship. I'm talking about the people that pull this shit every week or so. If you're that unhappy, you should probably leave the relationship. There is a huge difference between sitting someone down for a genuine talk regarding where your relationship is at (and the possibility that it may be coming to an end) and using the threat to control someone.

I can probably tolerate the silent treatment for a day or two better than an empty threat.

Posted by CreativeCap
I can probably tolerate the silent treatment for a day or two better than an empty threat.

I wish I was better at those long silent treatments. The longest I can go if I'm really mad is a couple of hours!

How do people do it for days? Weeks?

I agree that it's hurtful and immature. I hope the people who do this sort of thing have heard of 'the boy who cried wolf.' Why break up if you're not actually going to go through with it, or say it only to get back together shortly after?? It's selfish and manipulating.

Posted by aquapiscescusp

Posted by CreativeCap
I can probably tolerate the silent treatment for a day or two better than an empty threat.

I wish I was better at those long silent treatments. The longest I can go if I'm really mad is a couple of hours!

How do people do it for days? Weeks?

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No idea. I just can't be arsed to be angry that long.

In a heated argument, I never really take what the other person says seriously, even the break up threat. If there is anything that is important that they want to communicate to me in a calm and collected conversation, that is important to them, that's when I'm all ears.

I have also done it, the breakup threat that is. In the heat of an argument, because I don't know how to digest my emotions. I never did or meant anything I said then.... when I break up with someone, it's instant, and there is no looking back.