beautifulsoul74
@beautifulsoul74
13 Years5,000+ Posts
Comments: 122 · Posts: 5590 · Topics: 41
Being upfront
When I met my scorp he told me he was looking to settle down. He told me his brother and some of his friends had gotten married and they seemed happy and he wanted that for himself. It didn't scare me, or take the mystery out or anything. I mean, he didn't say he wanted to marry ME or anything. I don't see anything wrong with being up front at all. You're not making any decisions right when you meet someone but it's nice to know if they are open to the possibility or if you are wasting your time.
Posted by beautifulsoul74
How would him expressing that make you feel? Would it remove the "mystery" and fun? I guess what I'm trying to see is how dating has changed, if at all. I also have to admit that at times I feel that what I'm looking for may have simply become obsolete. Please share your thoughts and I humbly ask that we keep it positive.
Remove the mystery and fun, or the drama? 😉.
I'm not a fan of guessing games and it would be nice to know what a man is looking for and hopes to move towards. I won't lie, there is a part of me that would be torn after this discussion because while my Scorpy side likes the sound of this, my Venus would panic a little bit. Consequently, the internal dialogue I would have about this may cause me to put some distance between us initially (aka move very slowly) to be sure about this guy, but it wouldn't make me run away or get bored because he lacks "mystery".
Posted by Impulsv
Exactly those who are ready n want the sane won't run. Just because ur upfront u can still have a fun n exciting courtship minus the drama
+1
Great responses so far!
I have to admit that I ask the question based on what I've seen and have personally experienced. I completely agree with what Capgirl said. Being upfront doesn't remove any mystery because the excitement is in getting to know one another. If anything, it should help to relieve any anxiety and help each other to develop rapport. For me personally, its something that I've long thought about. I've never been afraid of commitment, in fact I've always looked for something long term. That's the thing though. Exactly what would "a long term commitment" look like for "us?" While I've always been traditional, as in it should lead to marriage, over the years I discovered the Sag adaptability. Meaning, I don't have to have marriage in order to be committed to someone. Its in the heart.
Posted by beautifulsoul74
I've always have been curious about being upfront about your intentions when you first meet someone. I want to pose this scenario to the ladies. Let's say that you're looking for a relationship and you meet a man you're interested in. The two of you start a conversation and hit it off and decide to keep in contact. Early in the "getting to know each other" phase, you ask him what he is looking for and he responds with "I'm looking for a serious relationship" or something along those lines. He may even express that he wants to get married and he loves children.
How would him expressing that make you feel? Would it remove the "mystery" and fun? I guess what I'm trying to see is how dating has changed, if at all. I also have to admit that at times I feel that what I'm looking for may have simply become obsolete. Please share your thoughts and I humbly ask that we keep it positive.
First of all he'd gain my respect. No games, straight to the point, my kinda guy. Next move would be to see where things go without guessing and enjoying the moment from that point on. If it works, it works. Great. If it doesn't it doesn't. No big deal.
Posted by PhoenixRisingPosted by beautifulsoul74
How would him expressing that make you feel? Would it remove the "mystery" and fun? I guess what I'm trying to see is how dating has changed, if at all. I also have to admit that at times I feel that what I'm looking for may have simply become obsolete. Please share your thoughts and I humbly ask that we keep it positive.
Remove the mystery and fun, or the drama? 😉.
I'm not a fan of guessing games and it would be nice to know what a man is looking for and hopes to move towards. I won't lie, there is a part of me that would be torn after this discussion because while my Scorpy side likes the sound of this, my Venus would panic a little bit. Consequently, the internal dialogue I would have about this may cause me to put some distance between us initially (aka move very slowly) to be sure about this guy, but it wouldn't make me run away or get bored because he lacks "mystery".click to expand
Lol _—
I'm curious as to what your internal dialogue would be...oh fair Scorp _??_
Posted by LetltBPosted by beautifulsoul74
I've always have been curious about being upfront about your intentions when you first meet someone. I want to pose this scenario to the ladies. Let's say that you're looking for a relationship and you meet a man you're interested in. The two of you start a conversation and hit it off and decide to keep in contact. Early in the "getting to know each other" phase, you ask him what he is looking for and he responds with "I'm looking for a serious relationship" or something along those lines. He may even express that he wants to get married and he loves children.
How would him expressing that make you feel? Would it remove the "mystery" and fun? I guess what I'm trying to see is how dating has changed, if at all. I also have to admit that at times I feel that what I'm looking for may have simply become obsolete. Please share your thoughts and I humbly ask that we keep it positive.
First of all he'd gain my respect. No games, straight to the point, my kinda guy. Next move would be to see where things go without guessing and enjoying the moment from that point on. If it works, it works. Great. If it doesn't it doesn't. No big deal.click to expand
I see...hence...let it be _??
Posted by Sugarfoot
That's one of the main things I'm looking to find out about someone in the getting to know you phase. If we're not having that goal in common, what's the point in getting to know them any further?
And, no, I don't think it takes away from the excitement or the mystery of dating. You still have tons more to learn about that person. You still have to figure out if you're compatible with them or not.
I will say that it took me some age before I realized that its important that the person I'm dating would like to be married someday. When I was younger, I thought that maybe they'd change their mind. It really just wasn't important to me at that time.
+1
Posted by Sugarfoot
That's one of the main things I'm looking to find out about someone in the getting to know you phase. If we're not having that goal in common, what's the point in getting to know them any further?
And, no, I don't think it takes away from the excitement or the mystery of dating. You still have tons more to learn about that person. You still have to figure out if you're compatible with them or not.
I will say that it took me some age before I realized that its important that the person I'm dating would like to be married someday. When I was younger, I thought that maybe they'd change their mind. It really just wasn't important to me at that time.
Agreed!!! I see no point in wasting time!!!
Posted by beautifulsoul74
I've always have been curious about being upfront about your intentions when you first meet someone. I want to pose this scenario to the ladies. Let's say that you're looking for a relationship and you meet a man you're interested in. The two of you start a conversation and hit it off and decide to keep in contact. Early in the "getting to know each other" phase, you ask him what he is looking for and he responds with "I'm looking for a serious relationship" or something along those lines. He may even express that he wants to get married and he loves children.
How would him expressing that make you feel? Would it remove the "mystery" and fun? I guess what I'm trying to see is how dating has changed, if at all. I also have to admit that at times I feel that what I'm looking for may have simply become obsolete. Please share your thoughts and I humbly ask that we keep it positive.
It doesn't make me feel anything really. I am of the mindset "let's see where this goes".
If for whatever reason marriage is completely out of my mind...I will tell him I am just looking to date casually or smthg..since he is serious about his intentions.
I just think it's weird to go into a scenario when you first meet someone. What happened to the journey?
People can say "I am looking to marry someone" all they want, doesn't mean they will mesh well with the people they're dating OR actually considering marriage. One of the biggest players I know IRL uses that line constantly on women.
I would respond better to "well I really like you and I could see this developing into something more..what are your thoughts on this? But this would have to occur later in the relationship.
Posted by beautifulsoul74Posted by PhoenixRisingPosted by beautifulsoul74
How would him expressing that make you feel? Would it remove the "mystery" and fun? I guess what I'm trying to see is how dating has changed, if at all. I also have to admit that at times I feel that what I'm looking for may have simply become obsolete. Please share your thoughts and I humbly ask that we keep it positive.
Remove the mystery and fun, or the drama? 😉.
I'm not a fan of guessing games and it would be nice to know what a man is looking for and hopes to move towards. I won't lie, there is a part of me that would be torn after this discussion because while my Scorpy side likes the sound of this, my Venus would panic a little bit. Consequently, the internal dialogue I would have about this may cause me to put some distance between us initially (aka move very slowly) to be sure about this guy, but it wouldn't make me run away or get bored because he lacks "mystery".
Lol
I'm curious as to what your internal dialogue would be...oh fair Scorpclick to expand
id honestly run for the hills. i would get short of breathe and probably most likely not keep in touch.
this happened to me once and i think emotionally, i felt out of control.
this happened to me once and i think emotionally, i felt out of control.
Posted by beautifulsoul74
I've always have been curious about being upfront about your intentions when you first meet someone. I want to pose this scenario to the ladies. Let's say that you're looking for a relationship and you meet a man you're interested in. The two of you start a conversation and hit it off and decide to keep in contact. Early in the "getting to know each other" phase, you ask him what he is looking for and he responds with "I'm looking for a serious relationship" or something along those lines. He may even express that he wants to get married and he loves children.
How would him expressing that make you feel? Would it remove the "mystery" and fun? I guess what I'm trying to see is how dating has changed, if at all. I also have to admit that at times I feel that what I'm looking for may have simply become obsolete. Please share your thoughts and I humbly ask that we keep it positive.
My Scorpy did this.
I told him I wanted the same thing, and that I'm glad we're on the same page. Then we planned to go fly fishing that upcoming weekend.
That was then. Now we're engaged.
I found his honesty refreshing, and if anything, it made me much more able to let loose, be myself, and REALLY have fun together! 😄
Adventures, mental connection and good humor = real fun & mystery
Not knowing where someone stands = annoying, potential waste of time.
Even if it is what I might be looking for in the long run..it would scare me and I would end up becoming a little distant until I felt that I shared this with this person.
I've not come across many men that are that upfront so it's foreign territory and this would send me internally questioning whether I would want the same.
I'd much prefer any talk like this not happening until way after a month or going out around 10 times or more.
I've not come across many men that are that upfront so it's foreign territory and this would send me internally questioning whether I would want the same.
I'd much prefer any talk like this not happening until way after a month or going out around 10 times or more.
A man making his "wants" clear in the beginning would not scare me. I would actually appreciate knowing, so that I know we are on the same page and that hopefully I am not going to invest my time and emotions into him, only to have it end, due to not being on the same page. No mystery would be lost, as the journey IS in getting to know each other.
If more people could be upfront in this manner, less hearts would be broken, less time lost in people's lives putting energy into someone/something that will not come to a happy ending and then having to start over.
I don't know, perhaps the older I get, the more I would appreciate this. I'm not getting any younger 🙂
If more people could be upfront in this manner, less hearts would be broken, less time lost in people's lives putting energy into someone/something that will not come to a happy ending and then having to start over.
I don't know, perhaps the older I get, the more I would appreciate this. I'm not getting any younger 🙂
Posted by PhoenixRisingPosted by beautifulsoul74Posted by PhoenixRisingPosted by beautifulsoul74
How would him expressing that make you feel? Would it remove the "mystery" and fun? I guess what I'm trying to see is how dating has changed, if at all. I also have to admit that at times I feel that what I'm looking for may have simply become obsolete. Please share your thoughts and I humbly ask that we keep it positive.
Remove the mystery and fun, or the drama? 😉.
I'm not a fan of guessing games and it would be nice to know what a man is looking for and hopes to move towards. I won't lie, there is a part of me that would be torn after this discussion because while my Scorpy side likes the sound of this, my Venus would panic a little bit. Consequently, the internal dialogue I would have about this may cause me to put some distance between us initially (aka move very slowly) to be sure about this guy, but it wouldn't make me run away or get bored because he lacks "mystery".
Lol
I'm curious as to what your internal dialogue would be...oh fair Scorpclick to expand
Posted by geminicandIe
I think honestly at this point, it will be a miracle if I ever get married, given my age and mind stage. But I guess stranger things have happened in this world...
Sorry for making this about ME yet again, Leo moons you know😛
What's your age and which part of Europe are you in? 😛
That is a good question. This cap guy I think is asking me on a date. He said we should go get dinner sometime and asked what food n drink I like.
I don't know if it's like just grabbing a meal n chilling or like a date date. I'd love to chill with him and see who he is as a person but I'm not into the pressure of dates. Anyone understand?
I don't know if it's like just grabbing a meal n chilling or like a date date. I'd love to chill with him and see who he is as a person but I'm not into the pressure of dates. Anyone understand?
Posted by beautifulsoul74
Let's say that you're looking for a relationship and you meet a man you're interested in. The two of you start a conversation and hit it off and decide to keep in contact. Early in the "getting to know each other" phase, you ask him what he is looking for and he responds with "I'm looking for a serious relationship" or something along those lines. He may even express that he wants to get married and he loves children. How would him expressing that make you feel? Would it remove the "mystery" and fun? I guess what I'm trying to see is how dating has changed, if at all. .
If anything, dating/love has become a huge problem bc people AREN'T being honest & upfront about their true intentions.
I don't know why people are so afraid to ask the right questions & to check for compatibility at the door.
I mean think about it. How silly would you be to be turned off by someone who takes their own time seriously? People have a right to have a goal (love) & to only want to associate with people who plan to head in the same direction.
Having a convo about what you're looking for in the love (or lack of) department is about as necessary & natural as discussing other life goals. Why people get so intimidated or turned off by a person who knows what they want is beyond me, especially considering the main ones complaining about love usually ended up with (or without) someone who clearly had different motives than them. A lot of people are now looking back kids & 5 heartbreaks later wishing they WOULD HAVE asked all the right questions & checked for compatibility at the door. People may not always be honest when asked that question, but it's still worth asking.
To be fair though, sometimes a person isn't actually looking for love, but is at least open to it, so their answer in the beginning may be "idk" or not as solid. And that's ok. Some people have to meet who they consider the "right person" before they're more sure/open about what it is they're down for.
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
Guys, what intimidates you about a woman?
Me & my girl did that yesterday for my bday for the 1st time & it was cool..she set it up for me to get a on stage lap d
Its been two years. I still love him and want us to be together. I have told him now Im not doing this anymore.
i hate when someone asks a legitimate question on this board...let's say it's a...we broke up but he/she is still conta
.. or do you keep it light with them? Do you share your deepest thoughts, past mistakes, dark moments with them or do yo
This is about the guy i've talked about in previous posts. He is a friend of mine and hes admitted he likes me only rece
I have dated a guy for only a month in england before I come back to my own country. 2 days before I came back, I slept
I was thinking about something I watched a while ago, about what someone said in a sci fi show. Fourteen words to
I was in a long distance relationship with a man that grew up in my hometown for over a year. I lived in PA and he lived
CCouples who don't argue, don't fight, when they do disagree or misunderstand it's very minor and easily resolved. Is th
so the leo I have talked of on the leo from about a week ago and I are going to meet just two of us sometime next month.
I have heard this so much lately I'm curious to hear what the men on this forum think: no single guy is ever just frie
It's already over commercialized and ridiculous. But has anyone else noticed that there are people celebrating it that
When is it too much? When is it considered a red flag?
Scenario 1: A woman jumps into a fight where her man is getting jumped. She throws herself into the fire to try to brea
Okay so I just read a really hilarious forum. I am kind of a goofy person at times but then I can be really serious too.
Ask for relationship advice from people who are single OR in a relationship/married who have always been in (or still c
Everything is a matter of perception - I came to this conclusion a while ago.. A person can take one and the same statem
Just b/c I am happily married doesn't mean that I haven't been through some terrible relationships or ups & downs in the
How would him expressing that make you feel? Would it remove the "mystery" and fun? I guess what I'm trying to see is how dating has changed, if at all. I also have to admit that at times I feel that what I'm looking for may have simply become obsolete. Please share your thoughts and I humbly ask that we keep it positive.