Big age difference in a relationship

What's everyone's take on relationships with a considerable age difference, say 10-15 years difference? How did it go if you had one? I've been attracting younger guys, while the older ones don't seem as interested.

I think it depends on someones mindset. Some in their 20s have their shiz more together than others in their 40s and beyond. What matters is you get on well, conversation flows and all the good stuff that goes on with that male/female circuit. Just enter into things with eyes wide open, as few hangups as possible about the difference and enjoy yourself. Sheesh, this is such a non-issue if a man is 10-15 years older than a woman. Flip it round it's a *deal*.

The only issue i would have is that if it becomes serious, his family would tell him he is crazy and would look at me like a cradle robber, lol.

Posted by paranormalbadgirl
The only issue i would have is that if it becomes serious, his family would tell him he is crazy and would look at me like a cradle robber, lol.

Well that would be their problem.

Follow your heart/gut.

it's usually how compatible people are...age really is a number.

you know, some people gravitate towards people with similar mindsets to themselves. age is no real indicator of that. i do find it weird if it's done due to power/control issues, or looking for a father figure. that isn't healthy.

mostly, it's such a non-issue, lol

but my boyf did call me kiddo tonight and i did think, 'wtf? who you calling kiddo? are you mwad?!' lol

Age ain't nothing but a number. Maturity doesn't come with the package.

Posted by paranormalbadgirl
The only issue i would have is that if it becomes serious, his family would tell him he is crazy and would look at me like a cradle robber, lol.

Sounds like you have self approval and acceptance issues you need to work on ..... if you make your decisions based on the fear of what other people think about you, and whether they approve of you, or not.

This likely shows up in all your relationships, even friends, co-workers and family .. in some form or fashion.


I would suggest you deal with the real issue, and not attempt to apply things (such as this man) into the equation ... for every time you place someone else into your own personal issue, you are virtually expecting them to carry the burden of securing your feelings for you.

You might contest that, but, it's true .. an example in this situation would be = if you thought his family was talking shit about you (even if they weren't), you'd expect HIM to mend that situation .... eventhough it's not even his paranoia due to a poor self-love and self-acceptance of you .... it's your own burden to carry.


I'd be willing to bet that you find this in most areas of your relations. You can deny it if you choose ... but, your denial of it doesnt' change the fact that your quote above is a testimony stating that you would define how you are accepted by him according to what other people think .. and that is in fact, defining your lack of self-acceptance.

who cares

Look at it like this. If you didn't know his/her age, what would you guess their age to be? For example...you're 25, he's 45 & you guessed that based on his personality so far that he acts as if he's 60 or even like he's 21, that's a problem!

The age difference isn't usually a problem when there's high compatibility

But when the problems arise, that's when age difference can really show up. Some older folks like to hold their age over the partner's heads as a means of establishing some kind of superiority

Plus, you've gotta make sure that the older person wants the younger person for all the right reasons (or vice versa) meaning that they'd still be just as interested in you persay you were closer to their age. If the answer is no then chances are, that person is dating what they assume to come with your age vs. dating the actual person you are.

The older 2 people get, the less age difference really matters. When you're 18 dating a 35 yr. old everybody is like whoa! But when you're 50 dating a 64 year old, it's no big deal

I dont make my decisions based on fear. I never said that. I said it would be an issue, something that would need to be dealt with....any who.... I just wanted to see if anyone has had a relationship like this, and so far I see that I am not alone in having this type of relationship. Yes they are more vibrant than older guys. Agreed!

Posted by paranormalbadgirl
I dont make my decisions based on fear. I never said that. I said it would be an issue, something that would need to be dealt with....any who.... I just wanted to see if anyone has had a relationship like this, and so far I see that I am not alone in having this type of relationship. Yes they are more vibrant than older guys. Agreed!

My husband and I have a difference of 12 years (I'm older).

Posted by Whimsy

Posted by paranormalbadgirl
I dont make my decisions based on fear. I never said that. I said it would be an issue, something that would need to be dealt with....any who.... I just wanted to see if anyone has had a relationship like this, and so far I see that I am not alone in having this type of relationship. Yes they are more vibrant than older guys. Agreed!

My husband and I have a difference of 12 years (I'm older).

click to expand

Thats hot.

IF ITS 45 AND 12 YOU GOT A PROBABLEM
IF ITS 25 AND 45 YOU DON;T HAVE ONE
JUST KEEP THEM OUT OF SCHOOL AND OVER 18.
ON THE OTHER HAND WHEN I WAS 14 I WISH THEY HAD SOME TEACHERS WHO WAS 25 AND WANTED TO SEX EDUCATE ME.

i don't usually date anyone that's more than 3 years younger than me. i'm 28, though, so that would make sense because anyone younger than that is usually way too immature for my liking. for some weird reason though, i always get young girls (18+) either flirting or hitting on me, which creeps me out. people tell me i look around 22 all the time, but what the fuck? i'm trying to date some one closer to my age or older. My town's filled with skanks too, warped by hip hop.

Posted by paranormalbadgirl
What's everyone's take on relationships with a considerable age difference, say 10-15 years difference? How did it go if you had one? I've been attracting younger guys, while the older ones don't seem as interested.

Honestly I don't like a huge age gap. Too young and he's immature, too old and he's bitter. Plus I have loads more in common with guys born in the same year as me.

Posted by Pecheresse

Posted by westside
who cares

+1

I love younger guys, they're more fun than the older ones. Always have, always will. Who cares what ppl think.

click to expand

Word. I always attract younger guys, and for what it's worth, they have all been very mature (probably more mature than me)! The last person I dated (which has been awhile ago) was 10 years younger than me.

At my age, dating someone much older doesn't make too much difference. I have a 42 year old guy friend who i'd give a shot if I weren't attached and he weren't stuck on being a perpetual "bad boy".

I have tried dating guys a little older than me, but they seemed to have run out of gas. I like to have fun and enjoy life. I dont like to sit around and talk about the good old days like my life is coming to a close. Heck, these could be the best years of my life. So might as well enjoy them with someone who wants to enjoy them with me.

I think if you're 30 (give or take) or so older, then the age gap isn't a huge deal when you're dating older.


Anything under 25 dating that much older is creepy to me...especially on the older persons part.


Age is more than just a number if you're being realistic.

10-15 years is not a big deal. My first serious relationship was with a woman who was 11 years older. Ive always been independent for my age, and she was going back to school after what she called her "lost years". We had a lot in common, and it never felt the age difference. Plus, she taught me a lot sexually.

Just do you and don't worry how it looks. Don't let other people tell you what makes you happy.

Ramses, were you in love with her? and good entry Kitty. Very optimistic. Happy for you!

I've always dated older guys... youngest guy I've dated was 2 weeks older than me. The biggest age gap was 20 yrs older. I can't see myself with a younger guy, IDK, even a couple of years would seem weird to. But, then again, if if felt right, maybe I could.

I'm in love with someone 22 years younger than me. I wasn't looking when we met, just kinda happened. we connect on so many levels it's really quite scary. he says he's likes older people because they are experienced and know what they want out of life. we live together and have been dating going on 3 months. we aren't fully to where I'd like to be but we are slowly getting there. not sure if it will work or if it does, for how long. but for now we have each other, we spend all our time together and are working on being happy together. we have a ways to go but for the most post we are very comfortable with each other. I act like the younger one (always on the go) and he acts like grandpa (happy at home on the couch) lol. but seriously age is just a number abs if it makes the two of you happy, that's really all that matters. I don't know that there is a "perfect" relationship out there and life is truly short, so live your life, be happy and if you love someone don't hesitate to let them know :-)

He is 10 years younger than me. We dont care at all. It's not an issue. And we look great together, if you ask me 🙂

My gem is 12 years younger than me & we're crazy about each other. He's very wise beyond his years & even more mature than me in some areas 😛 but we learn from each other & grow together. Age really is just a number.

If they are old enough to be your parent or they are young enough to be your son or daughter...gross.

For instance a 45 yr old dating a 29 yr old..the 45 year old could have given birth to the 29 year old.(16 yrs dif) Not good. It would be like dating your own kids friends.

Are there no appropiate rules relating to anything anymore??

Plus there is never much in common long term. I prefer my own age.

Disclaimer: I am very well aware that this is an ancient thread.

I dated someone much older than me. Our mental age kind of met in the middle, so we were quite compatible.

People my age don't interest me. Their life experiences are just too shallow for me to be able to relate to them. Of course there are exceptions. Those special Dimonds in the rough. I have yet to meet one though! This is why I gravitate towards people of pervious generations. We share the same values and a love for the music of the 60's to 79! (The 80's just get a bit too weird for me...) I am so stuck in a past I wasn't even born in!