Boring guy.

So the last few years, I've become very introverted.

Now it even seems that it's getting worse because expressing my emotions is getting harder; things are starting to feel more and more superficial. My "serious attitude", which is probably the inner child being blocked (by what?) from expressing itself, makes me feel like I come across as a cynical bastard, or just a plain boring guy. While I have very deep emotions and thoughts which I only share with a few people.

Now the funny thing is that I'm a pretty good looking guy and that my first impression is great; but the more time I spend with somebody, the more "boring" I feel I get. I've got underdeveloped social skills because of my childhood.

And now for the dating part: I have the potential to attract a girl, but the chemistry is always gone after a few days because of my lack of initiative, entoushiasm, humor or talking, simply excitement. (That's what I think it is. Last 3 girls that this happened with were Gem venuses, but still.)

Now there's this girl that I met and gave me her number, she's completely into me and we've planned to go jogging together coming sunday, but I don't know how to deal with it. If I would just "be myself", the standard advice, I would just go quiet and only respond to her questions and ideas and then mind my own business, I'm shy as fuck. Taking action or coming up with things, simply "doing" instead of thinking, is hard for me - and the thinking part often disappears in such social situations which leaves me with... Nothing? 😉

Talking is difficult because when I initiate a conversation it doesn't go further than superficialness. I'm afraid to be intimidating when I come up with personal stuff, and talking about things I like - philosophy, human nature, astrology or music from last century doesn't seem to work out with a teenage girl. I have no idea what to do. I think I'm just too nervous, I don't really understand myself anymore these days.

What should I do? Any advice is appreciated 🙂

Posted by GG
What's your rising?

Scorpio

Posted by risesafterall

Posted by GG
What's your rising?

Scorpio

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I'm Scorpio rising too, I'm very social and confident with new people and surroundings.
However I do go through periods of time where I just want to be left alone and feel quite similar to what you described.
But not for too long, I eventually want to be back out socialising and around people again.
Maybe it's just a phase.

'philosophy, human nature, astrology or music from last century'

I would love to talk about these when I used to be a teenager so maybe it's not you, it's the girls you are meeting that are a bit shallow or not your type.

When you meet the right girl, I'm sure you won't feel this way.

Gem moon and rising here. If I was on the other end I would want you to be just you. Yes, I know how it sounds, but I sincerily feel that way.

If I were you, I would continue the date or make the next date somewhere I would feel at home. Make the theme something you are passionate about. Imo, there is nothing more interesting than a guy who is in his element(water? 😉) I don't know what that is for you, exactly, but you mentioned music and astrology. Concert? Astrology reading? Idk. Whatever it may be, that may make you feel more secure and it will get easier the more you get to know her and her you.

What is your mars sign?

And also. I doubt you are boring. The boring guys are those with no interests - you seem to have plenty. And this is comming from someone who is pretty easily bored.

Posted by HappyCapper
Gem moon and rising here. If I was on the other end I would want you to be just you. Yes, I know how it sounds, but I sincerily feel that way.

If I were you, I would continue the date or make the next date somewhere I would feel at home. Make the theme something you are passionate about. Imo, there is nothing more interesting than a guy who is in his element(water? 😉) I don't know what that is for you, exactly, but you mentioned music and astrology. Concert? Astrology reading? Idk. Whatever it may be, that may make you feel more secure and it will get easier the more you get to know her and her you.

What is your mars sign?

Nice, thanks - so basically I need to be confident in what I like, and stop giving a damn about others' opinions, but that isn't that easy 😉 And what you said about many interests.. My interests aren't really 'social', which is what I'm always a bit concerned about.

And my mars is in pisces.

You sound adorable. Youre just going through growing pains. I cant really give any input. Though i was the same as you when i was your age, i immersed myself in music and riding the bus all day lol. Not exactly conducive to my situation then but it kept me sane 🙂

Just don't do drugs, baby fishie. The rest will fall in place. If all else fails make yourself do things youre uncomfortable doing. Challenge yourself.

Thanks so much everyone ! I really appreciate it.

Something I forgot to mention - I rarely laugh, or touch. Some of my friends laugh about any small thing they hear and they're very 'touchy', even with people they barely know, and the girls are all over them.

So I doubt whether it's me or the girls, I don't like to judge them for being shallow because entoushiasm and energy are (in my opinion) indeed great and attractive qualities.

It just feels weird to be so 'cold' and closed-off, because I don't feel that it's who I am. Like it isn't my true self. It feels like some sort of transformation (called puberty... Things will hopefullly fall in their place indeed), but I want to go back to the soulful kid I used to be. It's getting a bit offtopic now, lol.

Posted by Magenta_Azure
i immersed myself in music and riding the bus all day lol. Not exactly conducive to my situation then but it kept me sane 🙂

Riding the bus all day, sounds interesting, in what way? Driving yourself? Or a public bus?

Posted by risesafterall

Posted by HappyCapper
Gem moon and rising here. If I was on the other end I would want you to be just you. Yes, I know how it sounds, but I sincerily feel that way.

If I were you, I would continue the date or make the next date somewhere I would feel at home. Make the theme something you are passionate about. Imo, there is nothing more interesting than a guy who is in his element(water? 😉) I don't know what that is for you, exactly, but you mentioned music and astrology. Concert? Astrology reading? Idk. Whatever it may be, that may make you feel more secure and it will get easier the more you get to know her and her you.

What is your mars sign?

Nice, thanks - so basically I need to be confident in what I like, and stop giving a damn about others' opinions, but that isn't that easy 😉 And what you said about many interests.. My interests aren't really 'social', which is what I'm always a bit concerned about.

And my mars is in pisces.

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Actually, I think it's a good idea to give a damn about other people's opinions. Listen to them - you might learn something and it may help you grow - but make your own desicions.

Sorry for being blunt, but: who cares if your interests are social or not? Those are your interests. What are you going to do: stop enjoying your interests? No! Would you really want someone who is interested in you for something you are not? I'm sure it would work for a while, and then the mask would inevitably fall and the other person would dump you because you were not who they thought you were. Transform, evolve, but don't change because you think something else may or may not be in higher demand(unless you are a business 😉) Find someone who likes who YOU are - I dare promise that there are maaany of them out there.

Posted by Magenta_Azure
You sound adorable. Youre just going through growing pains. I cant really give any input. Though i was the same as you when i was your age, i immersed myself in music and riding the bus all day lol. Not exactly conducive to my situation then but it kept me sane 🙂

Just don't do drugs, baby fishie. The rest will fall in place. If all else fails make yourself do things youre uncomfortable doing. Challenge yourself.

Magenta...when I read OP entry I was over here like "awwwwwww" and just wanted to give him a hug and let him know to still be himself and that everything will work out just fine. If she's for him...things will naturally click...no need for him to put up a facade. Sweet young man!