Falling for a younger man

I'm slowly falling for a male colleague who's 4 years younger. This is an unexpected attraction as I normally know early on from meeting someone whether I would like the person or not. With him, I didn't bother until a few months after when I started to feel like he is subtly gaining my attention & as I started noticing this, I find myself slowly attracted to him when I slowly become accepting of his less attractive quirks yet really admire some of his strengths. He's a pretty unconventional person but in our office environment, he has managed to endear colleagues to his unconventions too.

However, I'm unsure what I should do at this point now. I subconsciously defend myself from him & at times blatantly act as if I don't have feelings for him & I think I can see that he's hurt by this. I have to admit I'm very undecided about him. I don't feel like we're a good match.

The main thing is how he isn't my type to begin with & I'm quite embarrassed I have fallen for this silly boy. Another big issue is that he's 4 years younger than me, which adds to the embarrassment, & that he isn't at that life stage that I'm looking for. What I mean by this is that I'm in my early 30s, would have been married if I was lucky. He's only 27, just started his career & I would think many years from marriage.

I also feel unworthy of him. I can feel he's attracted to me & trying to get my attention while I'm pretending I don't care about this. Meanwhile, I can see many other female colleagues who do like his company & attention. I feel like he could have better match with these girls who are of his age. He's particularly close to another female colleague of mine who I'm quite envious of for they share an amazing communication rapport. The female colleague is in a relationship though but even she can't resist his charm & flirts occasionally with him. He would however make it clear he isn't interested in her. There are many other single female colleagues in the office whom in my opinion he could have a better match so it makes me wonder why he doesn't consider them.

I'm also afraid of letting him close, of letting him know about deeper about me. He is a very good man, clean, God-centered, innocent & I can guess he doesn't seem to have a girlfriend before. While I may seem to have a clean reputation, but I'm afraid he will judge me if he would know that I had sex before out of marriage (he seems the type to frown upon this). For now, he knows I'm not a Christian like him & I know he's fine with it. But I'm not sure how far he can accept this kind of thing & perhaps I fear that once I've let him in, he finds more about me & then decided we're not a good match I'll get hurt in the end.

Part of my tactic in fending off his attention towards me is by always stating loudly that I'm looking for someone older than me, that I don't consider younger matches. I know he reacts to this sometimes by saying that he too is looking for someone younger. But a few times when we talk about celebrity crushes among colleagues, he has pointed out his preferences at older & more matured women & colleagues would tease him about it.

However now that I'm slowly falling for him, I'm not sure if I want to continue pushing him away. I'm also afraid if I'll regret pushing him away. I hate to see him hurt by my pushing away but I'm afraid of showing too much concern for him.

I sound like a teenager now. I've been off the dating scene for so long I guess I don't know how to play this game anymore. Sigh. Would appreciate to hear other opinions & how you see this.

Thank you for the short advice.

He's 27. Your a woman, did you say your in your sexual peak or 30, I swear i heard sexual peak. Go for it maybe he can keep up.

@BuffaloBills28 truly appreciate your thoughtful words & encouragement.

@notsosure I wonder why I'm misunderstood as insecure. I don't think I'm insecure but I'm just being very careful, both with my own feelings & with others' feelings & I guess I'm the type that makes a decision & stick to it so I like to be very sure when I do. Yes, I was the 1 in the Cancer board a few months ago... I'm giving up on Cancer & deciding to open up to this boy now as I do not want to push this good boy away & regret it in the future. I do realise I didn't put in details about the things he did that points to him being interested/attracted to me. I wouldn't be so sure too if it weren't that even colleagues started asking me what I think of him/if I would consider him as a boyfriend since he's younger than me. I've since still put up an indifferent front by dismissing these talks but I want to stop hurting him & perhaps stop sabotaging this.

@notsosure okay, assuming you're right... Let's just say I don't know if I'm reading the signs right, but I at least can say I'm falling for him now, what do you reckon I should do?

You go girl, age is just a number. As long as you both are happy together then who cares.

Oh?

The question is - does he want you the way you want him?

If yes - difference doesn't matter.

And don't be insecure about it.

I said once to a man 'you can have 25

years old and I am twice that age' and he said me is what he wants and no 25 y/old needed.

I also date 17 y/old when I was 24.

We are still friends. He is in Europe and

asking me to visit anytime. Single still.

So good luck and enjoy!

4 years is NAHthing! Enjoy robbing the cradle! 😄 Live it up!