Have you ever picked a fight and broke up...

...just so you could spend the weekend with someone else? This is in the context of a supposed "on again / off again" relationship.

...and, if you happen to make up with the person you broke up with over the course of the next couple of weeks ... who considers the weekend thing 'cheating' and who considers it 'your business' because you were single?


OMG, I've just been exposed to a whole new circle of people. I didn't know the "yeah, I slept with him, but we were broke up that weekend." thing was so common.

I'm just laughing my ass off right now. Humans are not monogamous; I don't know why we put so much effort into trying to be.

Those who don't believe in monogamy need to stop getting into exclusive relationships or even those on again/off again relationships which are half-hearted and dumb anyway...I don't get that on again/off again thing. It's like, "I loved you last week but I changed my mind this week....I might go back to loving you again in another week or two but then there's like no guarantee that I won't change my mind again. Oh well, let's just enjoy this ride!".

What, are we in highschool? lol

lol CapGal, I'm not trying to justify anything. This question is based on a rant I had the wonderful privilege of listening in on ... some girl getting ready to pick a fight with her b/f, break-up, and spend the weekend with her ex b/f ... lol, and I'm not exactly sure about the order there. Who knows, maybe she was just talking big and not planning to actually follow through.

Anyways, I'm trying to be straight up with the girl I'm with now. I've already ruined a couple of evenings talking about how someday we might have to experiment with other people. She don't like the idea, but at the same time, I totally see her as being like I get a few years into a relationship ... a little bored, maybe feeling neglected, and bam ... a wonderful op presents itself! I don't think she will be able to resist any more than I, so why don't we just be upfront about it and give each other a pass? Then at least we know that no one is sneaking around on the other lying. For me, that's just the easiest way for me to trust her ... she has the freedom to do whatever the hell she wants, so why wouldn't she always be honest with me about it? Of course, I would expect to be able to enjoy the same freedoms from time to time.

I don't know what anyone else things but to your first question I say yes that is cheating!

And as far as having an open relationship like you are asking your girl about is just wrong...I will tell you why...To me a man that lets me go and sleep with other men or even date other men while I'm with him, that means he does not love me...I don't care what you say..that's the way I see it...I would never be able to be with another man while I'm still with my man..That's just crazy...Why would you want to be in a so called *relationship* if you want to date or sleep around with others? When I love someone I'm committed to them, and I could not even think about another man touching me...So again, if you don't care what she does why be with her? Why not just call her whenever you want sex? I'm not trying to be a smart ass here, I'm really asking you this. I'm just curious why men that don't want to date exclusively do commit to certain relationships?

^ What she said.

To answer your question: No.
The next question: I find it ridiculous that someone could be in a relationship, then even if broken up consider sexually being with another person in that short a time frame. Then 'haha, I was broken up, so..' Good grief.

Yes ppl do this, so what?

Are you that narrow minded? Whats it to you what other ppl do or dont do, go and get a life you dickhead

@TaurusBadGirl: It's not that I don't care or love her. I have to explain better, so I'll try. I know from 1st hand experience that some women like to sleep around as much as men. When the rubber hits the road, 5, 10 years into a relationship, there will be temptations. I don't want to be in the position that I've seen many women I know put their husbands in, that of "poor sap who doesn't know his wife is running around on him." I would rather be included on every aspect of her life, and just know those things. We would both benefit from always knowing that everything is OK, our relationship comes 1st, but if one needs to go do something, it's OK, no matter what (or who) it is. I'm not saying I would want her to sleep around ... and I certainly know she doesn't want me to. Does that make any better sense now?


@CapGal: There are a lot of reasons to not stay "single". Maybe you want a long term relationship, maybe you want to have kids, maybe you want to have someone to be a life partner ... BUT!!!! you know yourself, and when it comes to the sex thing, you know you need some variety in there every once in a while. Why not be open and honest about that fact and give your partner that freedom as well?

I'm sure most people who get married and stuff want what you do CapGal. It just seems like there are a lot more who want that in theory, but can't seem to follow through in practice.

Posted by jru2


Anyways, I'm trying to be straight up with the girl I'm with now. I've already ruined a couple of evenings talking about how someday we might have to experiment with other people. She don't like the idea, but at the same time, I totally see her as being like I get a few years into a relationship ... a little bored, maybe feeling neglected, and bam ... a wonderful op presents itself! I don't think she will be able to resist any more than I, so why don't we just be upfront about it and give each other a pass? Then at least we know that no one is sneaking around on the other lying. For me, that's just the easiest way for me to trust her ... she has the freedom to do whatever the hell she wants, so why wouldn't she always be honest with me about it? Of course, I would expect to be able to enjoy the same freedoms from time to time.

You can't change the way someone feels just because you want them to be this way, you say you've already ruined a couple of evenings suggesting your relationship takes this route. Obviously this girl you are with prefers a monogamous relationship!

I myself prefer to be monogamous and if my partner suggested this to me, I would naturally become suspicious and jealous that it was already happening or that he had someone already lined up to do the wild thing with. Think you may have already caused irreversible damage to your relationship with this chick!

You are better off finding someone that already shares your view and checking it before you enter a relationship because it's not for many woman.!

I agree with you there completely CapGal ... although, this is after a divorce and another fairly long term relationship where I wasn't so straight up. This is new territory for me.

@sweethearts ... you may be right, but my g/f has given me a lot of mixed signals on this. She got drunk one night and invited another girl back to our room one night. Then, later, she was like ... if that girl actually showed up, she'd be pissed. I was just thinking "damn, oh well" ... but, the other thing is that she had a fuck buddy for two months while we were dating (not sleeping together yet) ... and, she had to think about it a couple of seconds too long when I asked if she had been with him after we did hook up. In her defense, yes, we did start out pretty casual and I didn't even act all that interested in her in the beginning ... still, she has options, ya know 😉 In a lot of ways, I'm feeling the competition with her more than anyone else I've been with, so again, new territory for me.