rockchic89
@rockchic89
17 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 9 · Topics: 2
I feel cheated & hurt.. Need your opinion
He even added - Look do me a favour, Gimme like a week's time. Until I get back to my normal state of mind..
WTF.. I don't understand this.. Still I said Okay if that's what you want". Now I feel miserable. I feel like I have no value in his life.. You know like .. Im just some other girl or some person who he doesn't even feel comfortable sharing things with. From high to low.. I can't fathom yet, where did i go wrong— Is it just that I love too much?
WTF.. I don't understand this.. Still I said Okay if that's what you want". Now I feel miserable. I feel like I have no value in his life.. You know like .. Im just some other girl or some person who he doesn't even feel comfortable sharing things with. From high to low.. I can't fathom yet, where did i go wrong— Is it just that I love too much?
He's a Scorpio and I am a Capricorn by sun sign and gemini by moon sign..
Way too fast, you even said so because you knew.
A woman wants to be loved so bad that eventhough she may know that her new man shouldn't be saying these things, and treating her this way, this fast, she allows it to happen anyway because she wants to be loved. Then once he gets her, he's gone. This seems to be a common issue that most females share.
A woman, if she knows this is too fast, for a man couldn't possibly love a woman that fast. Nobody can actually love a person that fast. You may be impressed, infatuated ... but, NOT LOVE. If she knows this, then she must also know that he says this for a reason other than love.
At this point, a woman should step back, and tell him .. 'wait a minute here, don't say that, we hardly know each other. There's no way you could love me this fast, we've only just started to get to know each other on a deeper level'
Nip it in the bud, right there ... don't allow him to influence your feelings superficially like that.
Make him walk the walk, instead of talking the talk ...
A woman will actually want a deep connection with a man .. and then allow herself to fall prey to a shallow one the moment he begins to seduce her with charming words. Makes no sense to me.
In your situation, as with all of these relationship issues, which are all the same btw, every woman in here comes in here saying the exact same thing as you, only worded differently ... I'd stop being so gullible and desperate to be loved by this man, and make him man-up for real if he is to be with me.
Meaning = stop seeming so fallen, so desperate, so bound, so dependent on this man simply because he knew what "words" to say (charm) to wrap a false illusion around the heart.
A woman wants to be loved so bad that eventhough she may know that her new man shouldn't be saying these things, and treating her this way, this fast, she allows it to happen anyway because she wants to be loved. Then once he gets her, he's gone. This seems to be a common issue that most females share.
A woman, if she knows this is too fast, for a man couldn't possibly love a woman that fast. Nobody can actually love a person that fast. You may be impressed, infatuated ... but, NOT LOVE. If she knows this, then she must also know that he says this for a reason other than love.
At this point, a woman should step back, and tell him .. 'wait a minute here, don't say that, we hardly know each other. There's no way you could love me this fast, we've only just started to get to know each other on a deeper level'
Nip it in the bud, right there ... don't allow him to influence your feelings superficially like that.
Make him walk the walk, instead of talking the talk ...
A woman will actually want a deep connection with a man .. and then allow herself to fall prey to a shallow one the moment he begins to seduce her with charming words. Makes no sense to me.
In your situation, as with all of these relationship issues, which are all the same btw, every woman in here comes in here saying the exact same thing as you, only worded differently ... I'd stop being so gullible and desperate to be loved by this man, and make him man-up for real if he is to be with me.
Meaning = stop seeming so fallen, so desperate, so bound, so dependent on this man simply because he knew what "words" to say (charm) to wrap a false illusion around the heart.
Thank you so much for your response Angel.. and for taking the time out to write this. Maybe I am to be balmed completely. I gave myself away too easily just 'cos i trusted and thot its right. But now i know its wrong.. I feel so used up.. I guess that taught me a very valauable lesson on life. Its taken now that this relationship has ended.. Il always remember this horrible incident. What getting difficult for me is the fact that i was used up and i am hurt.. Feelin' kinda depressed and lost..i know with time i will get over it. But it haunts me every now and then.. I believe .. love can't happen in a day or two.
what surprises me is this kinda change in behaviour which i was never aware of & which he never portrayed all this while we knew each other.. he had time for sweet talking when were not in a relationship. Everyday all the while, sending sweet messages. It makes me feel so negative about myself.. like I am some shit.. I don't hold any importance in his life. I did give him his space. I told him "fine you take care".. but .. To make it worse he called me a while back and while i was talking he handed the phone to one of his friends.. i was talking to his friend and all of a sudden i could hear him shouting in the background. When i asked what happened ? he said "why the fuck are you irriitatin me?? Nothing happened.. just leave me alone".. I dont understand.. i didn't even call him. I didn't stress on anything.. he was shouting and i asked "is everything okay what happened?" and this was like .. Crazy.. he said that and hung up.. I cannot stay now.. a guy who's got no control of his mind.
Thank you Sagigoat !! I appreciate your response. Well honestly speaking i am not the type of girl who'd want a man all to herself and not give him his space. IF only he would have told me that he needed that space, I would have willingly given it. But this dude wasn't sharing anything.. And now he's being abusive towards me. He's suddenly got this " I care a damn about you" kinda attitude. He's already given me the option to leave if i feel he isn't the right one. So there I have my answer. He even made a comment earlier "i got what I wanted" .. which I think refers to using me up.. Im a capricorn too. When I get engaged in any work, even i don't feel like being disturbed.. but certainly if its a loved one.. I would be polite and say i'd ring them back.
Actually you are right.. An interesting experience and I really learned a lot from it.. I just wanna stop feeling hurt and depressed. I am not able to divert my mind away from this whole incident. It shook me completely. I try to keep myself occupied with things.. But it keeps coming back. I feel like teaching him a lesson .. But then .. I dont know what to do. Will such ppl ever get back what they give— Is there justice in this world?
Actually you are right.. An interesting experience and I really learned a lot from it.. I just wanna stop feeling hurt and depressed. I am not able to divert my mind away from this whole incident. It shook me completely. I try to keep myself occupied with things.. But it keeps coming back. I feel like teaching him a lesson .. But then .. I dont know what to do. Will such ppl ever get back what they give— Is there justice in this world?
One thing you have to keep in mind when analyzing this, Rockchic, is that this is very common behaviour for a Scorpio. It's normal for them to "test" their potential partners.
Testing, in itself, is alright for a person to do, if what we're talking about is testing whether they are loyal people, with integrity, before making this emotional plunge. Afterall, it's our hearts that are invested in this, which is where we can hurt the most. Unfortunately, though, when a Scorpio "tests" people, they use their Stinger to do so ... which to the potential, trying to relate on the other side of this Stinger .. it feels like being destroyed emotionally, rather than quieried.
What you are experiencing is very common for women trying to have a relationship with a Scorpio, I'm afraid, and is something that is talked about quite often on the Scorpio board.
They will charm to the point of making you feel like the whole world revolves around you, and then pounce on you and make you feel stupid for accepting this as something precious to cherish, like you're a fool for doing so. And then the moment you move on and get on with your life, and write them off as unimportant to you .. they will charm you back again. I wish this wasn't in the Scorpio nature .. but, it is.
However, the good news is that once he ascends into an Eagle, he will be free of this from within because he will feel secure in himself and not feel like he has to have control over his partners feelings.
Don't feel like you're a fool for this ... life lessons are in place for a reason, we all find ourselves on the recieving end of screw ups.
The most beneficial thing you can do for yourself at this time is to fully comprehend that if your instincts, or judegement, or logic, or whatever is the source of your inner voice trying to tell you something .... you should listen to it. If it tells you that a man is moving too fast in trying to shroud you in sentiment ... then hear what it's telling you because it's accurate.
In the end, the only person you can control is yourself, the only person who really knows what you need in your life is yourself ... and the only person who is really going to look out for you, again, is yourself .... so, if this voice tells you to slow down, this isn't right to move this fast ... then heed those words of your inner voice.
A person can only treat you a way that you allow for yourself ... so, the only true course to follow is yourself.
Testing, in itself, is alright for a person to do, if what we're talking about is testing whether they are loyal people, with integrity, before making this emotional plunge. Afterall, it's our hearts that are invested in this, which is where we can hurt the most. Unfortunately, though, when a Scorpio "tests" people, they use their Stinger to do so ... which to the potential, trying to relate on the other side of this Stinger .. it feels like being destroyed emotionally, rather than quieried.
What you are experiencing is very common for women trying to have a relationship with a Scorpio, I'm afraid, and is something that is talked about quite often on the Scorpio board.
They will charm to the point of making you feel like the whole world revolves around you, and then pounce on you and make you feel stupid for accepting this as something precious to cherish, like you're a fool for doing so. And then the moment you move on and get on with your life, and write them off as unimportant to you .. they will charm you back again. I wish this wasn't in the Scorpio nature .. but, it is.
However, the good news is that once he ascends into an Eagle, he will be free of this from within because he will feel secure in himself and not feel like he has to have control over his partners feelings.
Don't feel like you're a fool for this ... life lessons are in place for a reason, we all find ourselves on the recieving end of screw ups.
The most beneficial thing you can do for yourself at this time is to fully comprehend that if your instincts, or judegement, or logic, or whatever is the source of your inner voice trying to tell you something .... you should listen to it. If it tells you that a man is moving too fast in trying to shroud you in sentiment ... then hear what it's telling you because it's accurate.
In the end, the only person you can control is yourself, the only person who really knows what you need in your life is yourself ... and the only person who is really going to look out for you, again, is yourself .... so, if this voice tells you to slow down, this isn't right to move this fast ... then heed those words of your inner voice.
A person can only treat you a way that you allow for yourself ... so, the only true course to follow is yourself.
Yeah there are way too many things here that I don't understand. When I ask him and push it a lil.. He stars getting pissed. When I said Okay cool, you take care, he hangs up. He called me a while later because he met with an acccident. And he said "see I told you nothings going right for me, I was like so worried but I kept my cool and asked him to go see a doctor". And I didn't expect him to call me after that like he said "give me a weeks time, I am not in a proper state of mind". But yet he called me. a lil later. And he's become abusive.. I know its his problem. All that I wanted to do was try and help him, if not help him, atleast be there for him. Thats what relationships are all about right? If I face a problem or I have something going on in my mind, I'd definitely share with my partner. Well okay maybe people are different. I am thinking of officially ending it as soon as I get to talkto him than wait for the time when calls me and says "I dump you". besides I have thought this over, no point in going around with a guy who's so moody and psychotic. He's been known to lose his temper and has gotten into sevral arguments and fights because of this. He was also in a live in relationship with a girl, who was actually married and he didn't know, and she eventually dumped him.. Whihc he could not digest.. I mean if in the first week of going around this guy is howing such signs of moodiness and abusive behaviour, I just wonder how things would be if i were to live my life with him. I also feel thankful to God that he was kind enough to show me the true face of this guy so soon. what if he kept pretending to be good and one day when i was deeply involved with him, he'd do this to me?? I guess.. Nature has its own way of showing things.. I have been through a series of hurtful relationships whihc never worked out, and that has left me so depressed and made me pessimistic. I am 20 now.. And feel so depressed with life at times.. But I guess better things are in store for me..
I also wanna thank all of you here who have taken the time to help me out here and give me your honest suggestions. Trust me its helping me out in some ways.. I feel more stronger & encouraged.. Maybe it was his loss.. He lost a genuine person who really cared.. and the way I see it.. Its really difficult finding true love and care in this world in these times. Sorry everyone.. I am writing so much.. But just that I have so much inside of me.. that I am pouring it out here..
I also wanna thank all of you here who have taken the time to help me out here and give me your honest suggestions. Trust me its helping me out in some ways.. I feel more stronger & encouraged.. Maybe it was his loss.. He lost a genuine person who really cared.. and the way I see it.. Its really difficult finding true love and care in this world in these times. Sorry everyone.. I am writing so much.. But just that I have so much inside of me.. that I am pouring it out here..
hahahaha Absolutely .. Thanks a buch Girls. I feel a lot better now. For the time being I have thought of letting it go. Not to bother my head with all this crap. Yes I have a life of my own, I have my job to take care of, the world is full of interesting people. And yes sagi, I had a good time. So Why should I feel used up. You all have really helped me so much in feeling so good right now. So rather than feeling like being used up, I'd prefer feeling that I had a wonderful time. His friends rang me up a while back and they said that he's become really moody. He banged the door at them and went off to sleep. he's never behaved this way. So Its HIM. And everyone believe the same. I can't believe such sad people exist in this world. But good. Im getting to know this kinda personality type now.
And Angel that information on Scorpio guy was really helpful. There are many characteristics that I can really relate to him.
"Theskys" yes again that is also a helpful suggestion and I am gonna put that into practise. If he ever tries to ring me up or trygetting back.. IF he ever does.. Then Im gonna be a lot more careful this time and not give myself away so easily. I am just amused at the way people can change in matter of minutes, some people are truly wolves in sheep's clothing. Like the lyrics of one of my favourite songs go -
"I believe in karma what you give is what you get returned;
I believe you can't appreciate real love till you've been burned;
I believe the grass is always greener on the other side;
I believe you don't know what you got until you say goodbye"
So PEACE !!
And Angel that information on Scorpio guy was really helpful. There are many characteristics that I can really relate to him.
"Theskys" yes again that is also a helpful suggestion and I am gonna put that into practise. If he ever tries to ring me up or trygetting back.. IF he ever does.. Then Im gonna be a lot more careful this time and not give myself away so easily. I am just amused at the way people can change in matter of minutes, some people are truly wolves in sheep's clothing. Like the lyrics of one of my favourite songs go -
"I believe in karma what you give is what you get returned;
I believe you can't appreciate real love till you've been burned;
I believe the grass is always greener on the other side;
I believe you don't know what you got until you say goodbye"
So PEACE !!
"They will charm to the point of making you feel like the whole world revolves around you, and then pounce on you and make you feel stupid for accepting this as something precious to cherish, like you're a fool for doing so. And then the moment you move on and get on with your life, and write them off as unimportant to you .. they will charm you back again. I wish this wasn't in the Scorpio nature .. but, it is."
This isn't the behaviour of Scorps alone - it is the behaviour of a boy who doesn't know what he wants, what is good for him or how to treat others. Who wants to spend the whole of their life being tested? And abusing you over the phone with his friends after he called you!!! What an idiot! You seem really nice and caring. It is good that you are no longer wasting your time and effort on this child! I have been treated like this before in a 2 year relationship, and it does really batter your ego. You would have become dependent upon his moods - elated when he wants to be nice and hold you, then upset and blaming yourself when he is being a moody bitch. Do you really want to become that? I think that you deserve much, much better.
"I have been through a series of hurtful relationships whihc never worked out, and that has left me so depressed and made me pessimistic. I am 20 now.. And feel so depressed with life at times.. But I guess better things are in store for me.. "
The good thing about being 20 is that you have plenty of time. You do not need a partner to make life worth living. You have written all of this, and you sound really nice. That is YOU. Not anyone else, but you. You would be as nice with or without a man.
"I feel like teaching him a lesson .. But then .. I dont know what to do. Will such ppl ever get back what they give— Is there justice in this world?"
The thing about people like this is that they will never have a happy relationship - at least not until they grow up! If he decides to start taking the feelings of others into consideration, then he might just find happiness. But, if not, comfort yourself with the idea that everyone he loves will leave him, because of the way he treats them. That will be his fault too, as was this. He lost you through his own immaturity, and he doesn't deserve you if he can't be bothered to treat you right. It's all fine if he wanted space, and you would have granted it. But to treat you in this way to get it reveals his mind - that others are there for his own c
This isn't the behaviour of Scorps alone - it is the behaviour of a boy who doesn't know what he wants, what is good for him or how to treat others. Who wants to spend the whole of their life being tested? And abusing you over the phone with his friends after he called you!!! What an idiot! You seem really nice and caring. It is good that you are no longer wasting your time and effort on this child! I have been treated like this before in a 2 year relationship, and it does really batter your ego. You would have become dependent upon his moods - elated when he wants to be nice and hold you, then upset and blaming yourself when he is being a moody bitch. Do you really want to become that? I think that you deserve much, much better.
"I have been through a series of hurtful relationships whihc never worked out, and that has left me so depressed and made me pessimistic. I am 20 now.. And feel so depressed with life at times.. But I guess better things are in store for me.. "
The good thing about being 20 is that you have plenty of time. You do not need a partner to make life worth living. You have written all of this, and you sound really nice. That is YOU. Not anyone else, but you. You would be as nice with or without a man.
"I feel like teaching him a lesson .. But then .. I dont know what to do. Will such ppl ever get back what they give— Is there justice in this world?"
The thing about people like this is that they will never have a happy relationship - at least not until they grow up! If he decides to start taking the feelings of others into consideration, then he might just find happiness. But, if not, comfort yourself with the idea that everyone he loves will leave him, because of the way he treats them. That will be his fault too, as was this. He lost you through his own immaturity, and he doesn't deserve you if he can't be bothered to treat you right. It's all fine if he wanted space, and you would have granted it. But to treat you in this way to get it reveals his mind - that others are there for his own c
others are there for his own comfort. In his own little world, that is the only reason for others to exist, and if they don't fit in with that, he abuses them.
You have the right to exist and to be treated with respect. Always remember that.
Let us know how it goes.... if you want.
Sorry to go on so, but it just made me angry to read how he treated you.
You have the right to exist and to be treated with respect. Always remember that.
Let us know how it goes.... if you want.
Sorry to go on so, but it just made me angry to read how he treated you.
hi am new to the site also in ur message caught my eye, i think that u feel for him to fast and that he pillowed talked you cause you all was by you all self. now that you all is in the real world he probably fell like he made a mistake.when some one is asking to get married to another person that means that they love them in if he loves you he would be comfortable with sharing his thoughts and feelings with you
me personally dont think that this is the relationship for you
me personally dont think that this is the relationship for you
^ agree
he pillow talked u n he only wants to be with u when its just u n him, but don't worry it happens to the best of us
Sorry this happened to you, bt absolutely - remember the good bits and vow to yourself never to go there again with HIM!
If these bad relationships occur quite a lot, and you are so ready to take the blame, you could take a step back and see whether your loneliness/occasional desperation is pushing you into 'BTN's (Better Than Nothing relationships).
They AREN'T Better Than Nothing! ANYTHING is better than being the fall guy for somebody with really serious immaturity issues.
Look at it this way - you've done incredibly well here. Some women stay in abusive relationships for many years. You've identified the potential for that and got the hell out. His poor friends are stuck with him, but you aren't. You don't have to make anything better for him - and anyway, he has friends who can do that for him.
The best phrase I ever read in any self-help book was this: Maintain your dignity.
You simply CAN'T take all the crap people try to put onto you if you remember that. You can't make that drunken phone call, write the email you can't delete, or have that ill-advised conversation with his friends if you just...
...Maintain Your Dignity.
You've done a really good job of this so far. And you've come here for support. Stay here, leave him alone!!
Good luck! x
If these bad relationships occur quite a lot, and you are so ready to take the blame, you could take a step back and see whether your loneliness/occasional desperation is pushing you into 'BTN's (Better Than Nothing relationships).
They AREN'T Better Than Nothing! ANYTHING is better than being the fall guy for somebody with really serious immaturity issues.
Look at it this way - you've done incredibly well here. Some women stay in abusive relationships for many years. You've identified the potential for that and got the hell out. His poor friends are stuck with him, but you aren't. You don't have to make anything better for him - and anyway, he has friends who can do that for him.
The best phrase I ever read in any self-help book was this: Maintain your dignity.
You simply CAN'T take all the crap people try to put onto you if you remember that. You can't make that drunken phone call, write the email you can't delete, or have that ill-advised conversation with his friends if you just...
...Maintain Your Dignity.
You've done a really good job of this so far. And you've come here for support. Stay here, leave him alone!!
Good luck! x
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