..isnt it safe to say that YOU may be the problem?
if you have more then 3 failed relationships..
You are on page out of 2 | Reverse Order
..and just to clarify im talking about adult relationships..none of the teenage love stuff
Posted by MellyMel909
There's too many variables to answer this...
What's your definition of a "failed" relationship?
divorce, bf/gf break-ups??
in the space of how much time?
Are you seriously asking this?? There are way too many variables...
You think most people settle down after two serious relationships and the last one lasts forever?
Posted by aquapiscescusp
in the space of how much time?
doesn't matter..but if you constantly hop in and out of relationships i'd think that person definetly has an issue
Posted by Scorpio72
Are you seriously asking this?? There are way too many variables...
not really..just think about the reasons why people break up..the list isn't very long
Posted by leoliza
Haha, such an assumption would be boldly retarded. I would say if all the people/breakups issues were identical, then you could surmise this. Otherwise chalk it up to learning...click to expand
i just think that the problem with a lot of people is they may feel inadequate unless they're in a relationship, and tend to settle for whom ever give them enough attention,even thou in their heart, thats not who they truly want to really be with..
Posted by Fire-Water
You think most people settle down after two serious relationships and the last one lasts forever?
honestly i think the 1st one should..of course,that a rarity, and i understand that..but after the 3rd one, i'd have to have a serious sit down with myself and wonder wtf am i doing wrong?
Posted by PurrHisss
People who think "everything" can actually be 100% the other person's fault are delusional.click to expand
its a lot of people out here that think like that..and i mostly hear it from women..its always the guys fault..thats why im saying,if you're constantly picking all these terrible dudes, doesn't that say something about yourself?
yea picking the wrong partners...other than that nope!
some people dont show their true colors until your deep in...alot of people faking it. But I think the question is a little too broad
Posted by geminicandle
We can't help who we are attracted to. WTF?
And what about people who are attracted to us? It should never be controlled, it's pretty organic in it's own.
I can only see a need for intervention if there is abuse and stuff...
Otherwise, keep trying until it works out. Even if it takes 100 people, go through them all.
if you(not saying YOU personally) always attract dudes that end up being losers, then it must be something about you that leads these dudes to think they can have/be with you
for instance, my sister, throughout her whole life only dealt with "good guys",they always treated her with respect & never was violent with her..maybe knowing tha she had a father & 2 brothers around that would stomp the living shit out of'em could've had something to do with it, but still,she never had issues with guys
now if you need to go thru 100 dudes to find the one,more then likely that "one" is probably some lame,sucker for love type that you choose to settle for after years of being ran thru by all them other guys
That's a dumb thing to say.
Not counting my marriage, here's a rundown of my relationships since I was 25.
32 years old...Dated and got a place with a GF. She took the rent money and spent it on who knows what, but told me that the rent was paid. We got evicted because the rent hadn't been paid in 3 months. That lasted about a year. OVER!
30 years old, dated a girl who disappeared twice. She broke up with me, THEN tells me that she cheated on me, THEN stalks me. Restraining order. This lasted about 6 months. OVER!
29 years old...dated a girl who had just gotten out of a relationship that she wasn't over yet, but didn't realize it at the time. I ended it, but we still talk on Facebook from time to time. This lasted about 6 months.
27 years old, dated a girl who was clearly a rebound from my first marriage. She wasn't very bright, and I got bored, so I left her. Ok, I should have never dated this girl, so I guess I was the problem in this one. It lasted about 4 months.
25, I dated and married a gorgeous woman. A 9.5 on a scale of 1-10. Little did I know, she had a drug problem and hid it from me for 2 years. She went psycho on me, and ran me over with her car. Strangely, about a month later, I took her back...still unaware of the drugs. 3 months after that, she left me for a drug dealer. That is when I found out about the drugs.
So, with the exception of the rebound, how am I the problem?
Not counting my marriage, here's a rundown of my relationships since I was 25.
32 years old...Dated and got a place with a GF. She took the rent money and spent it on who knows what, but told me that the rent was paid. We got evicted because the rent hadn't been paid in 3 months. That lasted about a year. OVER!
30 years old, dated a girl who disappeared twice. She broke up with me, THEN tells me that she cheated on me, THEN stalks me. Restraining order. This lasted about 6 months. OVER!
29 years old...dated a girl who had just gotten out of a relationship that she wasn't over yet, but didn't realize it at the time. I ended it, but we still talk on Facebook from time to time. This lasted about 6 months.
27 years old, dated a girl who was clearly a rebound from my first marriage. She wasn't very bright, and I got bored, so I left her. Ok, I should have never dated this girl, so I guess I was the problem in this one. It lasted about 4 months.
25, I dated and married a gorgeous woman. A 9.5 on a scale of 1-10. Little did I know, she had a drug problem and hid it from me for 2 years. She went psycho on me, and ran me over with her car. Strangely, about a month later, I took her back...still unaware of the drugs. 3 months after that, she left me for a drug dealer. That is when I found out about the drugs.
So, with the exception of the rebound, how am I the problem?
Posted by DAMEN VIPosted by aquapiscescusp
in the space of how much time?click to expand
doesn't matter..but if you constantly hop in and out of relationships i'd think that person definetly has an issue
Sure it matters. If you have had 3 failed relationship over the last 10 years or if you have had 3 failed relationships over the last year.
I posted 4 fails on the ex thread... not sure I was the problem. Granted, I feel like a failure and that I somehow am to blame, but in reality really I made the best decision in mine and my children's best interest in the end.
TBH, I don't want to fail again...
TBH, I don't want to fail again...
Posted by PurrHisss
People who think "everything" can actually be 100% the other person's fault are delusional.
+1
Posted by VirgoMerlot
That's a dumb thing to say.
Not counting my marriage, here's a rundown of my relationships since I was 25.
32 years old...Dated and got a place with a GF. She took the rent money and spent it on who knows what, but told me that the rent was paid. We got evicted because the rent hadn't been paid in 3 months. That lasted about a year. OVER!
30 years old, dated a girl who disappeared twice. She broke up with me, THEN tells me that she cheated on me, THEN stalks me. Restraining order. This lasted about 6 months. OVER!
29 years old...dated a girl who had just gotten out of a relationship that she wasn't over yet, but didn't realize it at the time. I ended it, but we still talk on Facebook from time to time. This lasted about 6 months.
27 years old, dated a girl who was clearly a rebound from my first marriage. She wasn't very bright, and I got bored, so I left her. Ok, I should have never dated this girl, so I guess I was the problem in this one. It lasted about 4 months.
25, I dated and married a gorgeous woman. A 9.5 on a scale of 1-10. Little did I know, she had a drug problem and hid it from me for 2 years. She went psycho on me, and ran me over with her car. Strangely, about a month later, I took her back...still unaware of the drugs. 3 months after that, she left me for a drug dealer. That is when I found out about the drugs.
So, with the exception of the rebound, how am I the problem?
Sounds like you have weathered a few storms, and am sorry to hear about the bad marriage. Did you lose a lot of money in the divorce? 😢
Posted by geminicandle
Oh my gosh Damian @your last paragraph. Seriously, how old are you? I did not mean it literally to be "ran through all them other guys".
I meant in love, you always gotta keep trying.
There are always some issues to work on, and sometimes it's not neccessarily about you or them even. Sometimes there are other circumstances at play, such as bad timing. It doesn't mean that the person is bad or that there is anything wrong with you...but it still may not work, ya know?
i knew what you meant, and what i'm saying is if you're always getting into relationships with the same results, maybe you should slow down in getting into relationships in the 1st place, basically..i think you're better off just being single and playing the field for a while instead of constantly hopping from one relationship to the next..seems like a waste of time & energy
and i know certain situations may prevent a relationship from growing into what you want it to be, but after 3 failed attempts, it begins to look more like a personal issue imo
Posted by DAMEN VIPosted by geminicandle
We can't help who we are attracted to. WTF?
And what about people who are attracted to us? It should never be controlled, it's pretty organic in it's own.
I can only see a need for intervention if there is abuse and stuff...
Otherwise, keep trying until it works out. Even if it takes 100 people, go through them all.
if you(not saying YOU personally) always attract dudes that end up being losers, then it must be something about you that leads these dudes to think they can have/be with you
for instance, my sister, throughout her whole life only dealt with "good guys",they always treated her with respect & never was violent with her..maybe knowing tha she had a father & 2 brothers around that would stomp the living shit out of'em could've had something to do with it, but still,she never had issues with guys
now if you need to go thru 100 dudes to find the one,more then likely that "one" is probably some lame,sucker for love type that you choose to settle for after years of being ran thru by all them other guysclick to expand
Lol u said a whole lot of nothing. Good for ur Sis but what's ya point?
Posted by VirgoMerlot
That's a dumb thing to say.
Not counting my marriage, here's a rundown of my relationships since I was 25.
32 years old...Dated and got a place with a GF. She took the rent money and spent it on who knows what, but told me that the rent was paid. We got evicted because the rent hadn't been paid in 3 months. That lasted about a year. OVER!
30 years old, dated a girl who disappeared twice. She broke up with me, THEN tells me that she cheated on me, THEN stalks me. Restraining order. This lasted about 6 months. OVER!
29 years old...dated a girl who had just gotten out of a relationship that she wasn't over yet, but didn't realize it at the time. I ended it, but we still talk on Facebook from time to time. This lasted about 6 months.
27 years old, dated a girl who was clearly a rebound from my first marriage. She wasn't very bright, and I got bored, so I left her. Ok, I should have never dated this girl, so I guess I was the problem in this one. It lasted about 4 months.
25, I dated and married a gorgeous woman. A 9.5 on a scale of 1-10. Little did I know, she had a drug problem and hid it from me for 2 years. She went psycho on me, and ran me over with her car. Strangely, about a month later, I took her back...still unaware of the drugs. 3 months after that, she left me for a drug dealer. That is when I found out about the drugs.
So, with the exception of the rebound, how am I the problem?
seems like you like to save women that don't deserve to be saved..a "captain save-a-hoe" is what we call your kind (no offense)
those women you dealt with would be great to date & fool around with from time to time, but you can't build with those types of women, they only know how to destruct(i.e=self destruction)
I had a step father and 3 brothers and still attracted some losers....and I'm not a loser. Do u have anything to back your theory up?
Posted by DAMEN VIPosted by VirgoMerlot
That's a dumb thing to say.
Not counting my marriage, here's a rundown of my relationships since I was 25.
32 years old...Dated and got a place with a GF. She took the rent money and spent it on who knows what, but told me that the rent was paid. We got evicted because the rent hadn't been paid in 3 months. That lasted about a year. OVER!
30 years old, dated a girl who disappeared twice. She broke up with me, THEN tells me that she cheated on me, THEN stalks me. Restraining order. This lasted about 6 months. OVER!
29 years old...dated a girl who had just gotten out of a relationship that she wasn't over yet, but didn't realize it at the time. I ended it, but we still talk on Facebook from time to time. This lasted about 6 months.
27 years old, dated a girl who was clearly a rebound from my first marriage. She wasn't very bright, and I got bored, so I left her. Ok, I should have never dated this girl, so I guess I was the problem in this one. It lasted about 4 months.
25, I dated and married a gorgeous woman. A 9.5 on a scale of 1-10. Little did I know, she had a drug problem and hid it from me for 2 years. She went psycho on me, and ran me over with her car. Strangely, about a month later, I took her back...still unaware of the drugs. 3 months after that, she left me for a drug dealer. That is when I found out about the drugs.
So, with the exception of the rebound, how am I the problem?
seems like you like to save women that don't deserve to be saved..a "captain save-a-hoe" is what we call your kind (no offense)
those women you dealt with would be great to date & fool around with from time to time, but you can't build with those types of women, they only know how to destruct(i.e=self destruction)click to expand
What gives you that assumption? I didn't think there was anything wrong with these women when I met them. They weren't crying for help.
^^^^^^ exactly my point! some people dont show thier true colors or intentions for a while....is that our fault too?
Posted by bkbella86
Lol u said a whole lot of nothing. Good for ur Sis but what's ya point?
my point is i believe certain people just naturally attract certain types for certain reasons..for instance, i doubt michelle obama was constantly getting into relationships with guys like chief keef before she got with barack..she may have had a fling or two with them thou,which is understandable, but i doubt it was anything serious
Posted by bkbella86
I had a step father and 3 brothers and still attracted some losers....and I'm not a loser. Do u have anything to back your theory up?click to expand
yes..my cousin is 1 example..he ALWAYS get himself involved with tramps..each in every one of'em looked different:black,white,creole,whatever, but they all ended up acting like whores..then he always end up complaining to me about'em,lol..
and i don't think he's a loser, he just makes poor decisions when it comes to the types of women he choose to deal with
Posted by VirgoMerlot
What gives you that assumption? I didn't think there was anything wrong with these women when I met them. They weren't crying for help.
im good at paying attention to how a person acts..their life style , the things they like/don't like to do,what goals do they have,etc..all this plays a major part for gf status imo..if you're the type that falls head over heels for a chick because she looks good, and/or is a freak in bed, then you're gonna have a ruff life, i guarantee it..because thats what a lot of us men really want 1st in foremost anyway,lol..and im not knocking that, i just think when its time to take it to the NEXT LEVEL(relationship status), you gotta look at her other positives/negatives and decide if she's truly worth it..same goes for women
Posted by bkbella86
^^^^^^ exactly my point! some people dont show thier true colors or intentions for a while....is that our fault too?
i can understand that happening a couple of times, but more then three times is a stretch..everybody you've been in a relationship with wasn't that good at hiding their true colors..some people just choose NOT to see it,or because you like one or two particular things about them, you choose to gloss over the negative things
you dont know michelles history...she could have been a whore for all you know....and every guy who looks like chief keef isnt a bad guy and every dude who looks like barack isnt a good one...none of the guys I dated look like chief keef or speak like him...doesnt mean they werent players with hidden intentions.
Posted by bkbella86
you dont know michelles history...she could have been a whore for all you know....and every guy who looks like chief keef isnt a bad guy and every dude who looks like barack isnt a good one...none of the guys I dated look like chief keef or speak like him...doesnt mean they werent players with hidden intentions.
true i don't know her history, but to go from a whore to the presidents wife is kinda extreme, just like the example i gave regarding her & chief keef
and im not basing everything just on how a person look, its their character and how a person act..like the old saying goes,actions speak louder then words, and most of the best players specialize in having good wordplay, so maybe you got swept off your feet by that,idk
Posted by BrooksSamsonite
it depends imho.
diviner just read my bazi on the chinese board and he mentioned that i attract smart and beautiful ladies and have and do not need to do much. he also mentioned that right now i have yet to find someone. both are true. however i also know my bazi as 2 other people have read it for me and i know that "drought" even if i was in relationships lasted me a decade from 19-29. so it ends this year thankfully. now other people can have that in their charts as well. also other people can go thru transits where they are attractive to the opposite sex. it's called peach blossom luck. it lasts also a decade. i had it from 0-9 and will have it again when i'm 39-49.
im not familiar with a bazi,but it sounds interesting thou..
Posted by DAMEN VIPosted by bkbella86
you dont know michelles history...she could have been a whore for all you know....and every guy who looks like chief keef isnt a bad guy and every dude who looks like barack isnt a good one...none of the guys I dated look like chief keef or speak like him...doesnt mean they werent players with hidden intentions.
true i don't know her history, but to go from a whore to the presidents wife is kinda extreme, just like the example i gave regarding her & chief keef
and im not basing everything just on how a person look, its their character and how a person act..like the old saying goes,actions speak louder then words, and most of the best players specialize in having good wordplay, so maybe you got swept off your feet by that,idkclick to expand
but you dont know michelles, barack or chief keefs character and your making assumptions on who they might be based on their looks or image am i wrong?
Posted by DAMEN VIPosted by BrooksSamsonite
it depends imho.
diviner just read my bazi on the chinese board and he mentioned that i attract smart and beautiful ladies and have and do not need to do much. he also mentioned that right now i have yet to find someone. both are true. however i also know my bazi as 2 other people have read it for me and i know that "drought" even if i was in relationships lasted me a decade from 19-29. so it ends this year thankfully. now other people can have that in their charts as well. also other people can go thru transits where they are attractive to the opposite sex. it's called peach blossom luck. it lasts also a decade. i had it from 0-9 and will have it again when i'm 39-49.
im not familiar with a bazi,but it sounds interesting thou..click to expand
for someone whose into astrology dont you think you should look a lil further?
in my western chart is says ill attract a bunch of losers pretty much and that has came true but I cant help who I attract.
Posted by BrooksSamsonite
yeah it's interesting. it can predict divorce. in western u have to get divorced and then look back at transits lulz! at least iv never seen anyone accurately predict it tho it's possible. western astro transit predictions have been hit or miss for me. i know u follow 2 things jupiter and saturn. luck and the lessons...
yea, i'll definitely have to check it now
Posted by bkbella86
but you dont know michelles, barack or chief keefs character and your making assumptions on who they might be based on their looks or image am i wrong?
i was just giving you some obvious & extreme examples..but in chief keef's case,i do know a lot about him, only because of my nephews thou
Posted by bkbella86
for someone whose into astrology dont you think you should look a lil further?click to expand
i'll admit i haven't dug too deep into astrology, and this thread wasn't based on astrology anyway, but i'll check it out no doubt
Posted by kalin
I'd say, its just we were dating the WRONG SIGN.
lol not even..certain types of people come in all shapes,sizes & zodiac signs
Posted by DAMEN VIPosted by VirgoMerlot
What gives you that assumption? I didn't think there was anything wrong with these women when I met them. They weren't crying for help.
im good at paying attention to how a person acts..their life style , the things they like/don't like to do,what goals do they have,etc..all this plays a major part for gf status imo..if you're the type that falls head over heels for a chick because she looks good, and/or is a freak in bed, then you're gonna have a ruff life, i guarantee it..because thats what a lot of us men really want 1st in foremost anyway,lol..and im not knocking that, i just think when its time to take it to the NEXT LEVEL(relationship status), you gotta look at her other positives/negatives and decide if she's truly worth it..same goes for womenclick to expand
Now, you're assuming that I only go for only one type of woman. I don't. Each of these women were different signs, different personalities, liked different music, etc. Face it. You're WRONG!
Posted by Fire-Water
You think most people settle down after two serious relationships and the last one lasts forever?
I'd like to think that...roll on number 3 🙂
Naw... not for me.
I love being loved.
I love love affairs.
As long as I enjoyed myself, and I have enjoyed myself thoroughly, it was a success.
I have fond memories of most who have loved me.
I have a life partner who is determined to stay with me. We've been together since 1994 - broke up between 2008-2011 but, he was determined and he's right here. Don't know if it's forever but, damn? He teases me about my love affairs, calls me a fairy, a butterfly.
I love being loved.
I love love affairs.
As long as I enjoyed myself, and I have enjoyed myself thoroughly, it was a success.
I have fond memories of most who have loved me.
I have a life partner who is determined to stay with me. We've been together since 1994 - broke up between 2008-2011 but, he was determined and he's right here. Don't know if it's forever but, damn? He teases me about my love affairs, calls me a fairy, a butterfly.
He also says I will and can love anybody. Truuuuuuuue (2chainz voice).
are you married Damien?
no,but i've been with my current gf for 8 yrs straight, and on & off since 2001
Posted by DAMEN VI
no,but i've been with my current gf for 8 yrs straight, and on & off since 2001
and before that?
one could say you have an issue as well or were you including yourself as well in this thread?
if you have been on and off for 8 years is it you or your girl that has the issue?
and who the hell dates for 8 years?
Posted by bkbella86
and before that?
one could say you have an issue as well or were you including yourself as well in this thread?
if you have been on and off for 8 years is it you or your girl that has the issue?
this is my 1st true relationship(not including teenage years) before this, i was playing the field & and just had sex with women without any real commitment..and we weren't on & of for 8 yrs..we was on and off from 2001 to 2005
Posted by bkbella86
and who the hell dates for 8 years?click to expand
two people that aren't in a rush to get married, that's who..we want everything to be right, instead of just jumping into something like marriage, unlike a lot of other people these days
but i can tell this thread has gotten to you..its o.k bella,you're gonna find that special someone someday, just start focusing on your own issues 1st
Posted by VirgoMerlot
Now, you're assuming that I only go for only one type of woman. I don't. Each of these women were different signs, different personalities, liked different music, etc. Face it. You're WRONG!
different women,yes, but still,the same results..1 was a stalker that cheated on you when she felt like it, and the other took your rent money..it must be something about you to make these women think they can treat you like that,because trust me, every man doesn't go thru that..honestly,i think you tend to get pussy whipped & these women see that and take advantage of you
Posted by DAMEN VIPosted by VirgoMerlot
Now, you're assuming that I only go for only one type of woman. I don't. Each of these women were different signs, different personalities, liked different music, etc. Face it. You're WRONG!
different women,yes, but still,the same results..1 was a stalker that cheated on you when she felt like it, and the other took your rent money..it must be something about you to make these women think they can treat you like that,because trust me, every man doesn't go thru that..honestly,i think you tend to get pussy whipped & these women see that and take advantage of youclick to expand
lol so your a relationship expert now? damien if something is wrong with us then something is wrong with you. 8 years no marriage and off and off for 5 years!?!?
we both rather take it slow..hell,my father waited seven years before he married my mother, and they've been together now for at least 40 years..if she(my gf) really wanted to get married, we would've been broken up by now,obviously..we're both happy and thats all that matters
hopefully one day you'll be able to find that life partner you want instead of losers all the time thou..even thou you're pushing 30, its still hope for you
hopefully one day you'll be able to find that life partner you want instead of losers all the time thou..even thou you're pushing 30, its still hope for you
The man with an 8 year on and off relationship calls ME pussywhipped. LOL
Posted by DAMEN VIPosted by VirgoMerlot
Now, you're assuming that I only go for only one type of woman. I don't. Each of these women were different signs, different personalities, liked different music, etc. Face it. You're WRONG!
different women,yes, but still,the same results..1 was a stalker that cheated on you when she felt like it, and the other took your rent money..it must be something about you to make these women think they can treat you like that,because trust me, every man doesn't go thru that..honestly,i think you tend to get pussy whipped & these women see that and take advantage of youclick to expand
How can I be pussywhipped if I ended these relationships quickly? When I found out about the rent money, I was gone the same day, and got my own place. The psycho got slapped with a restraining order the very first time she stalked me.
Now, I have been MARRIED for 5 years and counting, and have not been separated once. Maybe it is YOU with the problem.
Posted by DAMEN VI
we both rather take it slow..hell,my father waited seven years before he married my mother, and they've been together now for at least 40 years..if she(my gf) really wanted to get married, we would've been broken up by now,obviously..we're both happy and thats all that matters
hopefully one day you'll be able to find that life partner you want instead of losers all the time thou..even thou you're pushing 30, its still hope for you
o your just an ass I see....good luck with that on and off thing...something I dont put up with btw....maybe I should lower my standards like you and your girl and then ill be in luck.
Posted by VirgoMerlot
That's a dumb thing to say.
Not counting my marriage, here's a rundown of my relationships since I was 25.
32 years old...Dated and got a place with a GF. She took the rent money and spent it on who knows what, but told me that the rent was paid. We got evicted because the rent hadn't been paid in 3 months. That lasted about a year. OVER!
30 years old, dated a girl who disappeared twice. She broke up with me, THEN tells me that she cheated on me, THEN stalks me. Restraining order. This lasted about 6 months. OVER!
29 years old...dated a girl who had just gotten out of a relationship that she wasn't over yet, but didn't realize it at the time. I ended it, but we still talk on Facebook from time to time. This lasted about 6 months.
27 years old, dated a girl who was clearly a rebound from my first marriage. She wasn't very bright, and I got bored, so I left her. Ok, I should have never dated this girl, so I guess I was the problem in this one. It lasted about 4 months.
25, I dated and married a gorgeous woman. A 9.5 on a scale of 1-10. Little did I know, she had a drug problem and hid it from me for 2 years. She went psycho on me, and ran me over with her car. Strangely, about a month later, I took her back...still unaware of the drugs. 3 months after that, she left me for a drug dealer. That is when I found out about the drugs.
So, with the exception of the rebound, how am I the problem?
Its the kind of women you are choosing.
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Can you tell the difference in a relationship? Do you think that they are one in the same? Just curious.....
can/should men feel insecure too? what if woman decides to leave him because he is unable to make her happy anymore. wha
I was watching Born on The Fourth of July after not seeing it for many years. For those who dont know its about a guy n