Is it worth it?

I'm wondering whether to keep this friend or not. I'll give some key points to my situation:
*All my other friends say she's creepy and weird- and not weird in a good way
*She hasn't got much in common with me apart from the fact we have bad self esteem which I'm trying to work on
*She has to see me ALL the time, she makes me feel like a boyfriend or something
*She lives alone and hasn't got many friends, I think she only has 3, me being one of them, so I feel bad for her
*She stares at me alot
*If I'm upset and crying she'll stare, and it's like she likes it
*She'll try and put my off all my other friends by slyly bitching about them and saying 'oh you don't need her in your life if she's going to be like that"
*She gets funny about my best friend, and always slags her off
*She's three years younger than me and says stuff like "Your going to get wrinkles before me"
*She'll copy my make up and clothes and the way I talk and stand
*She's very bland, she's never made me laugh in the whole year I've known her
*She'll not talk around my other friends, she'll just stare at them
*If she comes out with me and my friends, we don't even remember she's there as she hardly speaks
*If I'm really happy she'll say something negative and try and bring me down as she's always unhappy
*She was really over weight but has lost abit of weight but she'll keep trying to get compliments out of me about it
*She hangs on my every word and because she hardly talks, I find myself just having to drag up all my problems just to make conversation
*She get's funny if I go round the guy I'm seeing's house or if I want to go home, she'll try and make me stay out longer
*She's not like me at all, or any of my friends, we are all very bubbly and like to have a laugh, where she'll just fade into the back ground and just watches us. She makes everyone feel uneasy around her.

I try and be there for her and give her so much advice, but I feel like her life guru, she just drains me. I don't know what to do because I know that deep down she's a nice person who has been there for me through a break up and things, she's always there if I need her, if I just need to talk, but I'm starting to get freaked out. If I'm not happy and just thinking, she'll keep asking if I'm okay, like she expects me to be on show and happy all the time. And I feel like she just wants me all to her self. What do you guys think? Am I just being a bitch?

I just don't know how to go about it as we both live in the same village and my other friend just cut all ties with her and ignored her calls and it made her really depressed. She's 20 and her mum and dad live in another town and she rents a room in a house, she has no social skills, I just don't know how to go about it as I feel so bad on her

::: shakes head :::


We don't care ... we aren't 12

I've never done anything wrong to her, I'm always there for her but yeah I am only there out of feeling sorry for her, but she doesn't know that and I'm not going to tell her that as it will hurt her so I need a nice way of letting her down

Wouldn't you feel sorry for someone of they had hardly any friends? I don't see that as me being not nice I see if as me going out my way to give her life advice practically all the time as she's always depressed and being the only one who still speaks to her after everyone else has ignored her? I've had enough though of her dependency on me and the fact if feels like she idolises me which makes it hard to be a friend to her.

Bullgem, yes I can see how it would hurt her but I've helped her so much already, she's even said how much I've helped her. She's a watcher though who is scared to part take in life while ill just go for it and she's holding me back, she's not like me and I've even told her that. She'd be a lot happier with people who are more like her. I'm going to just have to try and distance myself from her, not matter how bad I feel when she gets all sad on the phone when I say I'm busy

I don't see how I'm being made out to be a bitch here? Surely it's better for her in the long run to have friends with similar interests so she can actually be herself instead of trying to fit in with me and my friends all the time and making her feel even worse about herself? Why should I be a therapist? Made to feel awkward? A babysitter? I've been doing it for a year now and she won't listen to me, she's just negative

"She makes everyone feel uneasy around her."


Bleh. Tell her to shape up, or ship out.

And that's my problem because? Maybe if she didn't make everyone around her feel uneasy because she just stares at them without even saying hello or goodbye, and how if I'm having fun with another on of my friends then she'll stare and clench her fists, or how she'll slyly pick on my insecruties like how my hair grows really slow and she'll brag her long hers is and how it grows oh so fast!?
Maybe if she stopped trying to hang round with people who have nothing in common with her, then she'll finally have a chance to meet more like minded people instead of feeling like she has to be something she's not to fit in- surely I'm doing her a favour. I'm only going to live once, but your making out like I should spend my twenties - when I'm meant to be free as a bird and happy- hanging out with a girl who drains the life out of me with her negativity? Why should I be the one to keep on trying to help her and cheer her up and tell her how to be more sociable when it's not getting me anywhere because she just isn't anything like me

No your just blown out because you know Im right.

How OLD are you?

I'm not excusing all of her oddities, but from what you've said, it sounds like she's shy and a little insecure because she's on her own and adjusting to adulthood. She needs a little understanding, not criticism.

It sounds like you're developing a mob mentality because your friends are feeding you bs while you've been friends with this girl. To top it off, the "list" that you gave sounds like stupid nitpicks and some are really immature reasons.

And then, let's not forget this-
I know that deep down she's a nice person who has been there for me through a break up and things, she's always there if I need her, if I just need to talk, but I'm starting to get freaked out.

Freaked out about what? I'm not understanding what's freaky here. She just seems socially awkward and I can understand how some of those tendencies of hers are ANNOYING but not freaky. Grow up honey. You and your lot sound really immature, selfish, intolerant, and are far more socially retarded if you can't have any empathy and not think of yourself.

That said, maybe talk to her about what it is that she does that bothers you. You seem to appreciate how she's been there for you, but x,y, and z are wearing on you. She may not even be aware of what she's doing and kinda needs a clue by four.

I'm sorry, but she sounds like she's only been the real friend here- being there for you in your time of need. All you're doing is evaluating what she can do for you and proving that you are one giant user. You're the pathetic one here, not her. Evolve a bit.

Overall, it's your choice in the matter, but I think you need to reread what you've written. It would give you some major insight to your own issues and flaws. I wouldn't feel sorry for her if you walked away. It'd be doing her a favor, tbh. She'd be better off alone than having someone like you as a "friend."

You guys clearly don't get it. So to have some one copy you and be constantly negative and miserable and to be clingy is healthy and good for me and her? No

Posted by scorpiokirst
You guys clearly don't get it. So to have some one copy you and be constantly negative and miserable and to be clingy is healthy and good for me and her? No

This response says that YOU clearly don't get it. Nice try though.

Clearly not. Sorry if you have that bad self esteem that you stay in friendships that no longer serve you or that your just a people pleaser. Or maybe you just negative and miserable and creepy aswell. Misery loves company. Now don't write again because I asking for advice and yours is bullshit