augustmoon
@augustmoon
11 Years500+ Posts
Comments: 27 · Posts: 531 · Topics: 27
Is it wrong to cut someone off b/c of dealbreaker?
I'm confused about if I'd be controlling or not because I feel like it's not my place to tell him that I didn't like that he said that/feels that way. I have no problem saying something to him, and would use the constructive wording like TwirlingStrawberry said, but it'd just be like.. so what?
He said something about being open to doing drugs/wanting to try a certain drug. It made me :/ But I guess it is a POV.
Impulsv — I agree, and I don't mind communicating, it's just that with this I feel like i shouldn't tell him I don't like something he wants to do. That's not my position. Is that something that people are willing to change or should change?
RainDancer — I think I am going to do that in the meantime, thanks for the insight.
He said something about being open to doing drugs/wanting to try a certain drug. It made me :/ But I guess it is a POV.
Impulsv — I agree, and I don't mind communicating, it's just that with this I feel like i shouldn't tell him I don't like something he wants to do. That's not my position. Is that something that people are willing to change or should change?
RainDancer — I think I am going to do that in the meantime, thanks for the insight.
Posted by augustmoon
I'm confused about if I'd be controlling or not because I feel like it's not my place to tell him that I didn't like that he said that/feels that way. I have no problem saying something to him, and would use the constructive wording like TwirlingStrawberry said, but it'd just be like.. so what?
He said something about being open to doing drugs/wanting to try a certain drug. It made me :/ But I guess it is a POV.
Impulsv — I agree, and I don't mind communicating, it's just that with this I feel like i shouldn't tell him I don't like something he wants to do. That's not my position. Is that something that people are willing to change or should change?
RainDancer — I think I am going to do that in the meantime, thanks for the insight.
What is the likelihood that he would actually DO it, though?
Posted by MontgomeryPosted by augustmoon
I'm confused about if I'd be controlling or not because I feel like it's not my place to tell him that I didn't like that he said that/feels that way. I have no problem saying something to him, and would use the constructive wording like TwirlingStrawberry said, but it'd just be like.. so what?
He said something about being open to doing drugs/wanting to try a certain drug. It made me :/ But I guess it is a POV.
Impulsv — I agree, and I don't mind communicating, it's just that with this I feel like i shouldn't tell him I don't like something he wants to do. That's not my position. Is that something that people are willing to change or should change?
RainDancer — I think I am going to do that in the meantime, thanks for the insight.
What is the likelihood that he would actually DO it, though?click to expand
No idea.
^^^ Probably not extremely likely, l guess.
Phohawk — that's true. Now I feel silly, y'all. 😛
Phohawk — that's true. Now I feel silly, y'all. 😛
Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
You could simply tell him that that is not something you would choose to do for yourself and if he chose to do it, he can count you out.
You are still maintaining your own standards and also letting him know what is acceptable or not for you.
That's not really controlling him. If he chooses to go forward try it and that bothers you, you are totally within your own rights to see that as a deal breaker.
These are important things to learn about each other in the beginning of a relationship....it's all the stuff that is underneath the surface that builds a foundation.
We all have different tolerance levels on the behaviour of others and it's okay not to be 'okay' with something. If it really bothers you, he's not the partner for you....and that is okay. Too many times we overlook these type of things because of surface attractions and they may become the very reasons the relationship didn't work later on.
This ^^... it's a good point.
Sometimes people say random things that mean nothing-- other times,
they're red flags.
Context matters, of course, but anyway--
When people tell you who they are (or what they want), you do need to listen.
Posted by augustmoon
^^^ Probably not extremely likely, l guess.
Phohawk — that's true. Now I feel silly, y'all. 😛
who knows, he may ctually do it. how bout saying your piece and back off and see what happens.
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