Is your past part of your future?

Is it important for you...for your partner to know your past and accept it or would you rather they don't know anything from your past? Explain what is good to share versus not good to share. Engagements, prior medical/mental/health issues, etc.

And same with your spouse, do you want to know about their past? How much or little detail?

Will your feelings change for them if you learn certain things? Are you afraid their feelings will change for you if they learn certain things? Or do you like to just let sleeping dogs lie? And don't feel the need to bring up the past at all?

Full disclosure is important. At some point.

Ofc it's important, because this day you live, but tomorrow it will be past, it matters, today well lived makes past a loving memory and future hope of a good life. 🙂 I love to hear out the stories about people's past, either it was easy, hard , challenging or something, i just love to hear people out, helps you understand them a little better, why they do the things they do, especially if you study psychology and if you are understanding this bring a whole another level, you can help them more, understand them more, etc. When i'm interested in someone or something i want to know every single thing to the smallest detail, i love little detais, because from these little details you can sometimes create something spectacular 🙂

I tell my significant others about my past & vice versa. Without my past I wouldn't be who I am today. I don't judge a person on their past either. Telling them about my past doesn't mean I tell them every single detail about it, just the main important parts.

I use to be let sleeping dogs lie, but as I got older and farther into my marriage I found out that hiding that kind of stuff can hinder your relationship. I bottled everything up, no harm no foul, and it made things worse. I got depressed for years before I knew it was my past that I was hiding from me and even my wife. Now I've turned 180, I let her now everything all the time, which I think is a little much for her to soon. We were so use to my flat emotions, and bottling up everything that neither one of us know how to handle me now.

As far as my wife knowing her past is important to me because it made her the woman she is, and I love that. I'm not saying knowing everything is easy, but I'd rather her tell me her past then it coming back around and blind siding us?

I like knowing everything. But resent it at the same time. It is fun in the beginning though to share all of that stuff. Then things get real and its not as fun to know about anymore haha.

Posted by TaurusFish
I use to be let sleeping dogs lie, but as I got older and farther into my marriage I found out that hiding that kind of stuff can hinder your relationship. I bottled everything up, no harm no foul, and it made things worse. I got depressed for years before I knew it was my past that I was hiding from me and even my wife. Now I've turned 180, I let her now everything all the time, which I think is a little much for her to soon. We were so use to my flat emotions, and bottling up everything that neither one of us know how to handle me now.

As far as my wife knowing her past is important to me because it made her the woman she is, and I love that. I'm not saying knowing everything is easy, but I'd rather her tell me her past then it coming back around and blind siding us?

I think that is a good thing even if it's all coming out at once. The air will be cleared and you can both work on how it will be from now on. Forge a new trail, work together, cry together, laugh together ... it's all in the mix of goodness. Your past is what makes you the person you are today also - there just may be some time to meld the two worlds together but it will happen and it will all be good. No worries. You are lucky you have someone who can support you and grow with you. That is what life is all about - to me anyway! Cheers to You!!!

I let sleeping dogs lie. if something is in the past and settled, it's done.

If there is a pattern from the past then it's bad. But there is no reason to go into "confession" mode which I can easily see people doing. Generally people will figure out your character for themselves especially if they've known you for a while. Your time together should overrule the past, especially if you've been together a long time. That is sort of the point of being together for a long time, so you can see your mate in a variety of settings and seasons.