Men!!

If you were dating a woman for over a year and she repeatedly accuses you of lying about another woman, how long will it take you to call it quits? Why would a man lie about communicating with another woman? Especially if he is not in a relationship with the woman he is dating. Why is it so hard for some men to tell the truth. Why do they shift the blame when they're caught? And leave?

Posted by djbuck1
This is not clear. Is the accusation true or false?

The accusation isn't true. At least to my knowledge. One of friends of the woman told me that he is communicating with her. He said that he saw messages between them. I went to the guy I was dating and told him what has been said. He denied it and confronted her. I just found out recently that she's been lying to her friend. She always told him that guys kept bothering her and messaging her, but the guys always denied talking to her. I don't have proof. I just went off of what I've been told.

Posted by djbuck1
The accusation isn't true . . . to your knowledge. But it could be. You don't have the facts.

I think that the alarm bells go off any time a woman sees her man in more than idle communication with another woman. And I think that most women make their "claim" clear pretty quickly. Once that's done, if the guy keeps on, he deserves what he gets.

I'm not talking about irrational jealousy here. I'm talking about a couple in a committed relationship where boundaries have been set and one of the partners keeps crossing the line.

He kept saying that we weren't together so he didn't have a reason to lie to me. If that's the case, why did he continue to lie. Not only does he deny talking to this woman. Other guys have denied her, too. Im just in a position where I don't like to point the finger if I don't have the facts.

If you're just dating and not in a committed relationship, then it is not your business who he communicates with. You are free to do the same with other men.

Just sayin'

Posted by Noreallynow

Posted by djbuck1
The accusation isn't true . . . to your knowledge. But it could be. You don't have the facts.

I think that the alarm bells go off any time a woman sees her man in more than idle communication with another woman. And I think that most women make their "claim" clear pretty quickly. Once that's done, if the guy keeps on, he deserves what he gets.

I'm not talking about irrational jealousy here. I'm talking about a couple in a committed relationship where boundaries have been set and one of the partners keeps crossing the line.

He kept saying that we weren't together so he didn't have a reason to lie to me. If that's the case, why did he continue to lie. Not only does he deny talking to this woman. Other guys have denied her, too. Im just in a position where I don't like to point the finger if I don't have the facts.

click to expand

Obviously he lied to you (if he is) because you would have thrown a hissy fit and he didn't want to deal with a jealous, insecure woman.

If other guys are denying talking to her, then why are you so quick to accuse him of lying instead of her. He just might be telling you the truth.

Posted by truecap
If you're just dating and not in a committed relationship, then it is not your business who he communicates with. You are free to do the same with other men.

Just sayin'

True, but at the same time you make it my business when drama and information are coming to me about other woman. If he feels like that, then he needs to say that. Just don't deny it. He just did the same thing to me because I didn't contact him in days. Saying that I must be around my dude because I didn't answer the phone. I told him if I had one I would tell him. He said oh. So, I admire honesty. If you're communicating with others ok, but don't bring drama my way, I made this post to figure out if I was wrong for accusing him without having facts.

Posted by truecap

Posted by Noreallynow

Posted by djbuck1
The accusation isn't true . . . to your knowledge. But it could be. You don't have the facts.

I think that the alarm bells go off any time a woman sees her man in more than idle communication with another woman. And I think that most women make their "claim" clear pretty quickly. Once that's done, if the guy keeps on, he deserves what he gets.

I'm not talking about irrational jealousy here. I'm talking about a couple in a committed relationship where boundaries have been set and one of the partners keeps crossing the line.

He kept saying that we weren't together so he didn't have a reason to lie to me. If that's the case, why did he continue to lie. Not only does he deny talking to this woman. Other guys have denied her, too. Im just in a position where I don't like to point the finger if I don't have the facts.

Obviously he lied to you (if he is) because you would have thrown a hissy fit and he didn't want to deal with a jealous, insecure woman.

If other guys are denying talking to her, then why are you so quick to accuse him of lying instead of her. He just might be telling you the truth.

click to expand

And something is telling me, that he might be.

Posted by truecap

Posted by Noreallynow

Posted by djbuck1
The accusation isn't true . . . to your knowledge. But it could be. You don't have the facts.

I think that the alarm bells go off any time a woman sees her man in more than idle communication with another woman. And I think that most women make their "claim" clear pretty quickly. Once that's done, if the guy keeps on, he deserves what he gets.

I'm not talking about irrational jealousy here. I'm talking about a couple in a committed relationship where boundaries have been set and one of the partners keeps crossing the line.

He kept saying that we weren't together so he didn't have a reason to lie to me. If that's the case, why did he continue to lie. Not only does he deny talking to this woman. Other guys have denied her, too. Im just in a position where I don't like to point the finger if I don't have the facts.

Obviously he lied to you (if he is) because you would have thrown a hissy fit and he didn't want to deal with a jealous, insecure woman.

If other guys are denying talking to her, then why are you so quick to accuse him of lying instead of her. He just might be telling you the truth.

click to expand

I never throw a hissy fit and I'm not jealous or insecure. Never have been, never will be. As with any human being, no one can trust anyone who lies to them. If you don't want me asking you anything, then tell me to mind my business.

Perhaps, I just don't understand how drama is coming at you. Maybe if you explained, I could get a better concept on your situation.

But, you're upset about someone you're NOT in a relationship with texting another woman. It bothers you and you don't like it. Okay, I understand that, but you're upset because you're insecurities are taking charge. Accusations of him lying equates to a lot of drama, which some (maybe it's just us southerners) might deem as a hissy fit.

There is no trust. Why would you want to continue with someone you don't trust?

Posted by truecap
Perhaps, I just don't understand how drama is coming at you. Maybe if you explained, I could get a better concept on your situation.

But, you're upset about someone you're NOT in a relationship with texting another woman. It bothers you and you don't like it. Okay, I understand that, but you're upset because you're insecurities are taking charge. Accusations of him lying equates to a lot of drama, which some (maybe it's just us southerners) might deem as a hissy fit.

There is no trust. Why would you want to continue with someone you don't trust?

Her friends approaching me and telling me things is drama. I didn't ask them anything. The woman giving me the evil eye is drama. I never even said a word to her. If you're dating multiple woman, our paths shouldn't even cross. When it gets to that point, it's ridiculous. When I'm told things, I go to him. He keeps saying no, they keep saying yes.

I'm was saying that I can't trust him if he keeps lying to me. I just want to know if I'm wrong for accusing without proof.

What did you mean when you said 'other guys denied her'?

This whole story is confusing.

You're immersed in the drama but say you do not want to be a part of it nor do you want drama to be brought to you by random females and if this is true then why are you bringing drama to guy by passing along hearsay from other females. Why not disregard the second hand information since you have no way of validating if any of it is true.

You're not his woman, he does not owe you the truth, he does not owe you honesty, you are not his mama, he will not get a spanking for not revealing his personal business with other females. If you need honesty well that's your issue not his.

If you're a side chic or a another one of the females he's sexually playing around with then stay in your lane by not bringing him information second hand from a bunch cackling hens.

Posted by tiki33
This whole story is confusing.

You're immersed in the drama but say you do not want to be a part of it nor do you want drama to be brought to you by random females and if this is true then why are you bringing drama to guy by passing along hearsay from other females. Why not disregard the second hand information since you have no way of validating if any of it is true.

You're not his woman, he does not owe you the truth, he does not owe you honesty, you are not his mama, he will not get a spanking for not revealing his personal business with other females. If you need honesty well that's your issue not his.

If you're a side chic or a another one of the females he's sexually playing around with then stay in your lane by not bringing him information second hand from a bunch cackling hens.

If he's dealing with them, then he needs to put them in check so they won't have to come to me. We Aren't sexually involved. I don't have to be his mama or anyone else to demand respect. And correct me if I'm wrong.... If he's not in a relationship with anyone... That's doesn't make me a side chick. I get what you're saying about me not having a say on what he does with other women, but at the end of the day.... It's ridiculous.

Posted by truecap
What did you mean when you said 'other guys denied her'?

It means that her friend says that she says that guys bother her and message her, but every guy that she says bothers her or message her, denies even speaking to her.

If you don't want the drama, all you have to do is get out of it. Break it off. Viola! Drama free.

The choice is yours.

What sign are you noreallynow?

Scorpio, yea I'm out of it.

Posted by tiziani
Sounds like you're involved in way too much gossip.

I'm not. It's just that I'm approached with gossip that's involving him. I don't even ask anything. I think that's a little strange, tho.

Posted by truecap
If you're just dating and not in a committed relationship, then it is not your business who he communicates with. You are free to do the same with other men.

Just sayin'

yup

He does not need to check them--you check them if they're bothering you by letting them know you're not interested in what they're telling you about him. You're the only one that can shut down the drama.

How exactly is HE disrespecting you? He's not bringing you drama--the hens are bringing you drama. He can't control females gossiping behavior which means he's not disrespecting you--the hens are disrespecting you.

And if you're not sexually involved then exactly what is the problem again?

He's single and he can do whatever he wants to do with whomever he wants to do it with and if you all run over each other in the process well it what it is.

If he was your man he could check em but since he's not it's your problem not his.

Posted by tiki33
He does not need to check them--you check them if they're bothering you by letting them know you're not interested in what they're telling you about him. You're the only one that can shut down the drama.

How exactly is HE disrespecting you? He's not bringing you drama--the hens are bringing you drama. He can't control females gossiping behavior which means he's not disrespecting you--the hens are disrespecting you.

And if you're not sexually involved then exactly what is the problem again?

He's single and he can do whatever he wants to do with whomever he wants to do it with and if you all run over each other in the process well it what it is.

If he was your man he could check em but since he's not it's your problem not his.

Again, I get your point about him not having to explain anything to me, but it messy. He has checked them on more than one occasion. I didn't even ask him to do that. He did say that it makes no sense to lie to me because we aren't together, so why keep doing it? He created this mess, I didn't. But it I what it is.

Is*

He lies...Why are you analyzing why he lies?

If he's not that into you he'll lie. If he doesn't believe he owe you an explanation he'll lie. If he enjoy the drama and desires for it to continue he'll lie. There are so many endless reasons why some men including women lie.

Lying is also convenient and he may not desire to explain and explain and explain his actions/behavior whenever something comes up. Sometimes men lie because they want to keep the standard and expectations low because if you know he lies then maybe just maybe you'll quit asking for the truth and let it go.

If it's messy move on and if you don't wanna move on then consider the alternative, stop whining about hit, be quiet and put up with it.

Posted by tiki33
He lies...Why are you analyzing why he lies?

If he's not that into you he'll lie. If he doesn't believe he owe you an explanation he'll lie. If he enjoy the drama and desires for it to continue he'll lie. There are so many endless reasons why some men including women lie.

Lying is also convenient and he may not desire to explain and explain and explain his actions/behavior whenever something comes up. Sometimes men lie because they want to keep the standard and expectations low because if you know he lies then maybe just maybe you'll quit asking for the truth and let it go.

If it's messy move on and if you don't wanna move on then consider the alternative, stop whining about hit, be quiet and put up with it.

I don't know where this whining thing is coming from, but I asked a question. You finally gave the right response. Thank you. This wasn't about what him dating other people, because if that was the problem I wouldn't have dated him. The point I was making was that if we're not together, there isn't a reason for the lies. Both of us don't really have anything to gain or lose. I told him I was done last week. I just wanted to see if I was wrong for accusing him. Thanks for your input!

Yep you're whining about something you cannot control. Why are you so focused on some random chicks that have nothing to do with you?

So you want him to be honest all the while he's being a moral-less asshat whilst dating you and everyone else. Your expectations are too high.

Oh so wait...You think because you're not together it exempts you from hearing his lies...Not. Men that lie don't need a good reason to lie.

If he's not your man and not someone you've been sexually active with then the accusation should not have happened...

You were wrong for accusing him without solid evidence/proof. None of it is any of your business. You were right for being done with him.

Posted by tiki33
Yep you're whining about something you cannot control. Why are you so focused on some random chicks that have nothing to do with you?

So you want him to be honest all the while he's being a moral-less asshat whilst dating you and everyone else. Your expectations are too high.

Oh so wait...You think because you're not together it exempts you from hearing his lies...Not. Men that lie don't need a good reason to lie.

If he's not your man and not someone you've been sexually active with then the accusation should not have happened...

You were wrong for accusing him without solid evidence/proof. None of it is any of your business. You were right for being done with him.

It's not like you're not listening to what I'm saying. It's not about the random chicks. I could careless about that. Yes, he doesn't need to lie to me because he complains if I lie to him. I'm going to speak on others if they keep coming to me about their business. Why do they feel like they have to come to me about it? Can you please tell me that? I don't say anything to any of them. So, what's the problem? If he wants to fuck around cool, that's his choice. Help me understand that.

It's like you're not*

Posted by tiki33
Yep you're whining about something you cannot control. Why are you so focused on some random chicks that have nothing to do with you?

So you want him to be honest all the while he's being a moral-less asshat whilst dating you and everyone else. Your expectations are too high.

Oh so wait...You think because you're not together it exempts you from hearing his lies...Not. Men that lie don't need a good reason to lie.

If he's not your man and not someone you've been sexually active with then the accusation should not have happened...

You were wrong for accusing him without solid evidence/proof. None of it is any of your business. You were right for being done with him.

And I totally agree that my expectations was way too high.

This makes no sense. Other females are telling you things about a guy you're not even dating & another woman. You then go to him to validate the story. Sounds like you're creating the drama imo. Why not just tell them that you're not with the guy anymore? Or does he still want you back hence you care to know if the stories are in fact true?

So, basically I'm wrong for asking and accusing him. Ok. I felt like I am, that's also why I asked the question.

I'll be the bigger person and apologize for my behavior, or is that wrong, too. Just apologizing. Don't want him back.

Too much drama why not just say to the girls you don't wana hear any gossip about him n tell then to stop.
Not because he's ur man but because u don't need the hassle n drama it is causing.

There's no need to get him to validate any of this n the drama should stop...as it's all hearsay coming your way. That should fix it job done...

Posted by SamCancerGirl
Too much drama why not just say to the girls you don't wana hear any gossip about him n tell then to stop.
Not because he's ur man but because u don't need the hassle n drama it is causing.

There's no need to get him to validate any of this n the drama should stop...as it's all hearsay coming your way. That should fix it job done...

Thank you samcancergirl. I fixed it by telling him it's over.

Posted by Noreallynow
So, basically I'm wrong for asking and accusing him. Ok. I felt like I am, that's also why I asked the question.

Well, from your posts, he's no longer your concern since you're no longer dating. I fail to understand why you would feel the need to "accuse" him about anything. Remember, you're not together anymore. He's probably wondering & confused too about having to fess up to an ex about his dealings. It's ridiculous to say the least. He didn't send those girls to you, why involve him then? Tell them to take a hike next time & be done with this "drama".

Posted by WaterCup

Posted by Noreallynow
So, basically I'm wrong for asking and accusing him. Ok. I felt like I am, that's also why I asked the question.

Well, from your posts, he's no longer your concern since you're no longer dating. I fail to understand why you would feel the need to "accuse" him about anything. Remember, you're not together anymore. He's probably wondering & confused too about having to fess up to an ex about his dealings. It's ridiculous to say the least. He didn't send those girls to you, why involve him then? Tell them to take a hike next time & be done with this "drama".

click to expand

We were dating when I accused him. We was going to get a place together, but things happen

Posted by Noreallynow

Posted by WaterCup

Posted by Noreallynow
So, basically I'm wrong for asking and accusing him. Ok. I felt like I am, that's also why I asked the question.

Well, from your posts, he's no longer your concern since you're no longer dating. I fail to understand why you would feel the need to "accuse" him about anything. Remember, you're not together anymore. He's probably wondering & confused too about having to fess up to an ex about his dealings. It's ridiculous to say the least. He didn't send those girls to you, why involve him then? Tell them to take a hike next time & be done with this "drama".

We were dating when I accused him. We was going to get a place together, but things happen

click to expand

What is this thread about then? Is it about when you were dating or after? Or is it the same woman you accused him about while you were dating that you're talking about now? I'm confused.

Posted by Noreallynow
If you were dating a woman for over a year and she repeatedly accuses you of lying about another woman, how long will it take you to call it quits? Why would a man lie about communicating with another woman? Especially if he is not in a relationship with the woman he is dating. Why is it so hard for some men to tell the truth. Why do they shift the blame when they're caught? And leave?

There it is. It was never about the women, but it turned into something else. I don't even know how it got here. Then only person that really answered right on point was the man that answered first. It's seems like ladies outnumber men on dxpnet.

Sorry, women.

Posted by Noreallynow

Posted by Noreallynow
If you were dating a woman for over a year and she repeatedly accuses you of lying about another woman, how long will it take you to call it quits? Why would a man lie about communicating with another woman? Especially if he is not in a relationship with the woman he is dating. Why is it so hard for some men to tell the truth. Why do they shift the blame when they're caught? And leave?

There it is. It was never about the women, but it turned into something else. I don't even know how it got here. Then only person that really answered right on point was the man that answered first. It's seems like ladies outnumber men on dxpnet.

click to expand

You're not making any sense. You yourself involved the other woman in your initial post hence I asked if it is the same woman. Plus you're not together, why care if he is lying or not. I don't get this. Just read your post. Does it make sense to you?

Posted by Noreallynow

Posted by WaterCup

Posted by Noreallynow
So, basically I'm wrong for asking and accusing him. Ok. I felt like I am, that's also why I asked the question.

Well, from your posts, he's no longer your concern since you're no longer dating. I fail to understand why you would feel the need to "accuse" him about anything. Remember, you're not together anymore. He's probably wondering & confused too about having to fess up to an ex about his dealings. It's ridiculous to say the least. He didn't send those girls to you, why involve him then? Tell them to take a hike next time & be done with this "drama".

We were dating when I accused him. We was going to get a place together, but things happen

click to expand

did you guys really never have sex?

Posted by WaterCup

Posted by Noreallynow

Posted by Noreallynow
If you were dating a woman for over a year and she repeatedly accuses you of lying about another woman, how long will it take you to call it quits? Why would a man lie about communicating with another woman? Especially if he is not in a relationship with the woman he is dating. Why is it so hard for some men to tell the truth. Why do they shift the blame when they're caught? And leave?

There it is. It was never about the women, but it turned into something else. I don't even know how it got here. Then only person that really answered right on point was the man that answered first. It's seems like ladies outnumber men on dxpnet.

You're not making any sense. You yourself involved the other woman in your initial post hence I asked if it is the same woman. Plus you're not together, why care if he is lying or not. I don't get this. Just read your post. Does it make sense to you?

click to expand

I get what you're saying. It does.

Posted by DMV

Posted by Noreallynow

Posted by WaterCup

Posted by Noreallynow
So, basically I'm wrong for asking and accusing him. Ok. I felt like I am, that's also why I asked the question.

Well, from your posts, he's no longer your concern since you're no longer dating. I fail to understand why you would feel the need to "accuse" him about anything. Remember, you're not together anymore. He's probably wondering & confused too about having to fess up to an ex about his dealings. It's ridiculous to say the least. He didn't send those girls to you, why involve him then? Tell them to take a hike next time & be done with this "drama".

We were dating when I accused him. We was going to get a place together, but things happen

did you guys really never have sex?

click to expand

We never had sex. He would ask. I would say no.

"Why do they feel like they have to come to me about it? Can you please tell me that? "

But really why does it matter?

Some women are thirsty, jealous, insecure, threatened other women type of bitches. If a woman or women see you as competition and/or see you as a potential threat they will cause and create drama.

He's single so his fucking around has nothing to do with you but you do seem a bit bitter and salty at the fact that he has women to fuck around with.

Posted by tiki33
"Why do they feel like they have to come to me about it? Can you please tell me that? "

But really why does it matter?

Some women are thirsty, jealous, insecure, threatened other women type of bitches. If a woman or women see you as competition and/or see you as a potential threat they will cause and create drama.

He's single so his fucking around has nothing to do with you but you do seem a bit bitter and salty at the fact that he has women to fuck around with.

I hate when people feel as if you are one way, when in reality, you're not. I'm not bitter about anything. I asked a question. At this point, I could careless. I told him that I'm done. It's wasn't really because if the females. It was because I the lies and other things. I know what dating is. So, if I didn't want to deal with that, I wouldn't have done it in the first place. So, this was never about the females. I have told him not to lie to me and he told me not to lie to him. He questioned me just like I questioned him. It goes both ways. No, I'm not putting down anything that you say, because you have some valid points, but it's more to this than I'm saying. So, all this you, you, you, is inaccurate.

Posted by tiki33
"Why do they feel like they have to come to me about it? Can you please tell me that? "

But really why does it matter?

Some women are thirsty, jealous, insecure, threatened other women type of bitches. If a woman or women see you as competition and/or see you as a potential threat they will cause and create drama.

He's single so his fucking around has nothing to do with you but you do seem a bit bitter and salty at the fact that he has women to fuck around with.

And c'mon if I wasn't having sex with him, he had to be getting it from somewhere. To put it out there, he did go back and confront them. So, I'm not the only one that's behaving like this, he is too.

Posted by Noreallynow

I made this post to figure out if I was wrong for accusing him without having facts.

Accusing him for a year and keeping you around does not make this guy a man. He's a wimp.
Real men, don't tolerate this immature, insecure bullshit...let alone for a year.

Posted by Noreallynow

I hate when people feel as if you are one way, when in reality, you're not. I'm not bitter about anything. I asked a question. At this point, I could careless.

Well after a year, one would think you'd be exhausted. What a waste of energy and time.

Posted by LetltB

Posted by Noreallynow

I made this post to figure out if I was wrong for accusing him without having facts.

Accusing him for a year and keeping you around does not make this guy a man. He's a wimp.
Real men, don't tolerate this immature, insecure bullshit...let alone for a year.

click to expand

Smh. Insecure bullshit. I see why you would think that, but it wasn't just me randomly accusing him. It was people coming up to me with bullshit and then me going to him with it. Otherwise, I didn't have anything to say. It was never just of of the blue. And he was never a wimp.

Out of*

Posted by Noreallynow

Posted by LetltB

Posted by Noreallynow

I made this post to figure out if I was wrong for accusing him without having facts.

Accusing him for a year and keeping you around does not make this guy a man. He's a wimp.
Real men, don't tolerate this immature, insecure bullshit...let alone for a year.

Smh. Insecure bullshit. I see why you would think that, but it wasn't just me randomly accusing him. It was people coming up to me with bullshit and then me going to him with it.

click to expand

FOR A YEAR!!!!!...