Playing hard to get

Posted by Damnata
...I liked the wording in this article so I decided to share (I feel it drives the point home):

"This technique is as old as it is pointless, but before we see why, let's get the terminology right. This entry is about playing hard to get. That doesn't mean being hard to get. Women of the world: Please go out and be every bit as picky as you think you deserve. No one --not even an incredibly sexy older man writing for a successful website -- has the right to tell you who you should be dating. Standards are great, and kudos to you for having them. What I'm talking about is women who are actually in the market for a specific man. They know who they want, they got him all picked out and their strategy for landing him is simply "playing hard to get." What a boring, useless waste of time.

Some of you disagree. "Bullshit," you say, while wearing your incredibly tight top of indifference and pretending to have no peripheral vision. "I'll play hard to get and distinguish myself!"



^This is you

Distinguishing yourself. That's the whole point of playing hard to get. Instead of being like the other needy girls, you act super cool and uninterested to stand out. You know what else would distinguish you? Giving better head than everyone else.

Now, before you string me up for being crass, just hear me out. I'm proving a point (via an oral sex joke the way the good Lord intended). It makes sense to want to stand out from the crowd -- to do something to distinguish yourself. But why not actually do something? Be funnier, smarter, kinder, or, yes (even though it was a joke), better in bed. At least those are skills. Something tangible.

What's playing hard to get? The talent to do nothing: "Oh, I won't look at him. I won't laugh at his jokes. I won't tell him his video series is amazing."

But let's say I'm wrong. We'll pretend playing hard to get is like the most super way to get a guy ever. We'll pretend you did your trick and instead of finding you tedious and bland, your dude asked you out. (And you eventually accepted.) Just do me a favor and fast forward a little bit. Two weeks from now, what do you want your boyfriend to tell his friends about the relationship? "Oh, the way she just sat there and did nothing was amazing. I just had to have her. There she was, not talking to me too much and not making too much eye contact, and I was all, man, I would love to have a girlfriend that might not actually dig me."

Wouldn't you rather overhear him say, "I met this girl the other night and she was so funny I laughed the whole night." Or "This new girl, she gets things that no other woman gets. I can talk to her." Or lastly, wouldn't even praise for your sexual performance

Posted by AriesLove

Posted by whatthecrab

Posted by AriesLove
This article is so far from playing hard to get in my opinion. More like playing a dead person.

Playing hard to get does not mean no talking, laughing, going out, having fun, being down to earth etc. Simply means you are moving slow by choice. Slow into intimacy, slow into knowing all about you: where you stay, your family, your whole life.

Allowing yourself or the other person to find out more about you. To be intriguing to each other. If you know everything right away, do everything right away most people become bored right away. I myself am one of those persons.

It's not about getting a jerk, getting married or getting anything at all. It's about making decisions that you will not regret or you will feel good about. And allowing yourself to decide if this is someone you want to deal with. It's ultimately your choice.

Im not competing for best head game, sex game, fun game or whatever. There is always someone better than you. I wouldn't want to be labeled any of those from anyone but my significant other. No contest here.

I agree with your post. The article is sexist and has a nasty underlying tone that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. But I understand what he's trying to say. I don't get close to people easily and I have heard a lot of times that I'm hard to read or a hard nut to crack. But I don't think the article meant people who by nature are slow to intimacy. The writer talks about people(women only, as if men don't do this) who feel the need to play hard to get and act uninterested in order to keep people interested. Just for the sake of appearing elusive. It's true that it is an ironic approach to try maintain interest. To me it seems people play these games because relationships are hard to keep. And it's probably more of an defense mechanism or playing into the idea of hard to get=hard to leave than it is solely a strategy to attract men, like the article appears it to be. For most people it's easier to front with their feelings, because they don't know how to deal with rejection.

I agree....also some people need to realize it's not always "playing hard to get", some people may not be as interested in you as you think. That might be hard for some people to accept (men). So they label it as playing "hard to get".

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