Sex = Relationship? (I Don't Get It)

Okay,

So this girl I know -- she's December 20, so I think she's Saggie-Cappy cusp, just like me, but my date's different 😄

Anyway, she offers a guy she liked for a while -- he's a virgo -- sex, like straightout, no straights attached or anything, well at least I don't think so. I think she was just horny and he seemed like the perfect guy to relive her tension (LOL!). Actually, I think she got scared and wanted to go back on her offer but he wouldn't let her xD!

Anyway, it seems as if after she slept with him, he is now ready for commitment hahaha. Like ready to talk about the future and all that stuff. They seem so close now. Its so funny, because I don't think she feels the same way about him, she finds his closeness alittle odd too.

I don't get it, so with some guys, if you sleep with them, that equals commitment on their part—?

I don't get it ...

Aw. Sounds like he's trying to do the right thing. Like he^ said, he may have thought she liked him for something more and didn't want to be one of "those guys" that just uses women for sex.

I think it's cute.
But glad it's not me. 😄 Haha

Well if the guy is looking for a commitment, he's going to be in for a rude awakening.

For many guys, they see it partly as an obligation and because they want too. They don't want to live with the regret of fooling around with a girl than just leaving them in the dark after one night.

Than there is also the idea that even though there's supposed to be no strings, having sex is still an emotional bind that happens with us peeps lol. So in a way he really didn't have a choice because that kind of shit just happens.

-SMiLES 😄

Posted by Smiles24

having sex is still an emotional bind that happens with us peeps lol. So in a way he really didn't have a choice because that kind of shit just happens.

-SMiLES 😄

Hmm, this statement kept me thinking. Please forgive me my old fashioned approach to this matter. However, I think this is really a reversal of values in today's world. At least for me personally. I mean, the fact of sex as an emotional bind on which we try to build a relationship, instead of opposite. Physical attraction- incredibly important factor. I agree. "One night stands"- people do that and as long as they both feel ok about it, no problem. However, feeling obligated to built a relationship after one night together, in order to proof yourself you are not "fooling around", does not appear to me personally.
Please keep in mind this is not a personal attack on you or any judgmental comment. For some reasons your comment made me sad.

even though there's supposed to be no strings, having sex is still an emotional bind that happens with us peeps lol. So in a way he really didn't have a choice because that kind of shit just happens.
-SMiLES 😄

I agree.

Average people fool themselves with the idea that "sex affair" is not a "relationshiop". wrong. It is a relationship. Ask the psychotherpists.

Now when they meet and do things together they watch each other. They listen to each other. they try to have a picture from each other. Many of such sex affairs are accompanied by jeleausy. Some of them lead to partnerships.

In such a sex affair, if one person does not feed the mental needs of the other one, the other one gets into trouble. Cause he/she will have to face this as a shortcoming. The same is valid for financial, counselling or main topics in relationships.

Fact is when one of the two wants to move on, the other one would try to cling. Also there are complications due to adiction or habbit. People do not want to loose something which was comfortable to them. sex affairs are by no means easier than average commitments.

Above all Virgos are salesmen in their nature. They will offer you (conditional) statements on commitment. Only because the sex was good enough for them. why should they give up? My Virguy said one day he beleived "if we tried to be together, it could lead to true love". so disgrading what he feels NOW. :-)

Posted by cappysweetie

I don't get it, so with some guys, if you sleep with them, that equals commitment on their part—?

I don't get it ...

LOL no... I bet he can tell that there is a hesitation with her in terms of commitment... and even though she did give it up he probably feels like he doesn't have a 100 percent hold on her.

Posted by mike6832
I think some guys see women as not wanting to just have sex with anyone so when your friend decided to have sex with the Virgo he thought it was secret code for "you're special." I thing a lot of young men have this kind of thinking but get "corrected" when they experience someone who enjoys sex for the fun of it. This same person will then end up approaching a woman who wants a serious relationship as someone who wants casual sex and then the drama in his life really begins 🙂.

Hey Mike 😄!

Whoa, all of this makes sense but that cycle is nuts! So, because she went on and sleep with him, he's special? Oh, and we are all in our twenties so I guess he's considered a young man.

Well, my friends birthday is December 19th ... so thats right around saggie-cappy territory 😢 -- but I'm nothing like her 🙂 She's a good person, I just think she gets a bit carried away at times. I think my Aqua moon saves me alot ^_^. I'm not sure what her moon is.

Posted by luckystar
sometimes this happens.

i actually am for this really. i only sleep with someone usually if i am already with them or very attracted to them (physically and most times mentally and emotionally as well).....sooo

also, if they had great physical chemistry, thats important and maybe they both "knew" they would workout. water signs are very good about this.

usually when two water signs get together its physical first.....especially scorpio and cancer, then they pretty much cling to eachother!

Maybe the virgo guy has alot of water in his chart because he's very clingy. I'm not sure if my buddy even knows what to do right now and its been little over a month. She needs to figure out something soon.

Posted by BellaBulleautiful

Posted by cappysweetie
Okay,

So this girl I know -- she's December 20, so I think she's Saggie-Cappy cusp, just like me, but my date's different 😄

Anyway, she offers a guy she liked for a while -- he's a virgo -- sex, like straightout, no straights attached or anything, well at least I don't think so. I think she was just horny and he seemed like the perfect guy to relive her tension (LOL!). Actually, I think she got scared and wanted to go back on her offer but he wouldn't let her xD!

Anyway, it seems as if after she slept with him, he is now ready for commitment hahaha. Like ready to talk about the future and all that stuff. They seem so close now. Its so funny, because I don't think she feels the same way about him, she finds his closeness alittle odd too.

I don't get it, so with some guys, if you sleep with them, that equals commitment on their part—?

I don't get it ...

What amazes me is alot of women actually want a relationship with a guy that wants more than sex,and then some sluts can't understand a guy like that when they run across one? what's not to get? I don't get why you don't get it.

click to expand

What I don'g understand is why after she had sex with him, he's already to be her boyfriend. Before that happened, he was like, 'we should take things as it comes' and all that jazz. Why the sudden change? She's confused and she doesn't know what to do lol! And I don't know what to tell her because I told her not to sleep with the guy until she was for sure about what she wanted and then she could tell him. Now theres the whole one-sided relationship thing going on lol!!

how about we all grow up and look at the picture from all sides. there comes a time in our life when we become adults and we make our lives our own. use the past as a tool but get to know ourselves, our wants, needs, and desires.

why does the guy have to be damaged or traumatized? if it happened to me it would just make me realize that there are different types of ppl out there and there are different types of relationships to be had. it'd make me see that some ppl want something casual, others want commitment. this should give him insight as to who he really is and what he really wants from a potential mate. then he can start to seek those who want the same things.

topics like this remind me of my time growing up. i was raised in a highly volatile, abusive home. i spent all of my adolescence in sheer agony and suffered a couple of nervous break-downs. i ended up with serious abandonment issues. when i left that place to be on my own, i carried the baggage with me. the thing i soon realized is that i had to forge my own path and make conscious decisions to let go of it and be who i was meant to be. i was an adult now. i couldn't keep crawling the earth with these ghosts. i had to fix myself and i knew i was the only one who could truly change myself. sure, i could still be lugging the traumatic childhood with me, forming unhealthy relationships with others, and when the relationships failed i could blame it on my past and hope they understand. we can't change what happened to us, all we can do is change ourselves.

let's try to encourage each other to learn and grow from these experiences. they may be negative at the time but light can surprisingly spring from such darkness if we will it so.