Variety

I get so confused when I hear some men/women complaining about how bored they are in their relationships but yet in the same sentence claiming they're looking for their life long partner

Um...

From what I've been told by older couples who have been married for 20+ years or longer, both the women & men say that after being with someone for so long, being without their partners (regardless of their flaws or outside temptations) is just something that never crosses their minds & is something they get used to & can't see any other way

But yet when I see all these young folks nowadays not even being able to last in their relationships for longer than 5 or so years, it just makes me question whether or not they really understand AND realize what it actually means to say you want someone you can be with for a LIFETIME!

So many young people get stuck on this "variety" theory. They hate the idea of being stuck to 1 person for their entire lives but yet those very same people are the 1st ones vowing to someday get married

Do people not realize that their partners won't always look the way they look now?! If you can't even accept or put up with an extra 15 pounds, an extra wrinkle, 2 grey hairs, etc. how on EARTH do you expect for your relationship(s) to ever last long term?!

To younger people, you're doing it big if your relationship can last longer than 2 years. But to the old heads who have been there & done that, they laugh b/c they don't consider relationships to be real unless both people have been together for atleast 10+ years or more..

Smh

I don't think people really truly understand the concept of planning to be with someone forever!

Nowadays, people will leave you if you:
-Gain 15 pounds
-Get a few wrinkles
-Get a few grey strands
-Get a few bald spots
-Grow to become a boring person during a 6 months phase
-Lose your job (or whatever it is they looked up to you/depended on you for)
-Etc.

Do people not realize that YES, eventually your man's slinger will stop working altogether, her boobs will eventually go south, they'll be periods of dry/boring/insecure spells in the relationship, etc.?

It's no wonder the divorce rate for youngins' is so high!

It's not that they're with the wrong person. I think it's just an imbalance in attitude & a lack of understanding of what "forever" & "For better or for worse" really means

Things that may affect this conclusion:

Bombardment of pictures and video of beautiful people imprinted into the youths brains all day everyday giving false sense of normalcy

Facebook, everyone knows everyone, people coming back into your life from the past

Most young people dont do the traditional dating thing these days

Ability of instant communication via cell phones/Internet

More....



Can't exactly blame people for the times changing

Can't pint point exactly why people behave they way they do on a general scale

Culture and tradion evolving whether for the good or the bad is inevitable
And whether good or bad may be in the eye of the beholder.

Maybe the youth dont see themselves as monogamous as older generations had.

I personally understand that relationships have a beginning, and an end. If you are unhappy then you should not be in the relationship. People change. There was once a lot of stigma around divorce, it put families to shame. Now days it's not taken as seriously. This is probably why the rate is so high. Self worth is at a premium.

Posted by LouLore
I personally understand that relationships have a beginning, and an end. If you are unhappy then you should not be in the relationship. People change. There was once a lot of stigma around divorce, it put families to shame. Now days it's not taken as seriously. This is probably why the rate is so high. Self worth is at a premium.

Very true.

Every relationship isn't meant to last forever.

BUT the entire point of long term relationships IS to potentially see yourself with that person for a lifetime. And it's unfair to sign up for a lifetime committment & yet not be willing to accept what comes with that territory (old age, wrinkles, weight gain, trials/tribulations, etc.)

Again, people sign up for "For better or for worse" & yet don't even stand by/abide by the very vows they stood under God & spoke to themselves & to their partner.

Toxic relationships should have an exit point, BUT some people leave the minute their relationship is no longer "perfect" in their eyes. And THAT is wrong. They can't stand the heat & they're ready to leave the min. things get rocky, even though they were fully aware beforehand that all relationships have rough periods.

Relationships are work. People only conveinantly want to stay in them when there's no work required of them. The minute they actually have some changing to do or some work to do, they all of the sudden swear that their relationship is toxic, when really the only thing that's toxic is their attitude

I don't buy into that "I want variety" bullshit because every one person in the world was born with a latent variety called, "creativity" that comes out in different ways.

I think its just that we simply are not used to appreciating what we already have.

We are so accustomed to wanting something better since childhood that we delude ourselves without effort. We don't even realize it the moment it happens.