Weird little question

When do men go from the 'sowing wild oats' phase to the 'baby wanting' phase? Is there such a thing as paternal instincts - and when a man starts getting infatuated with babies is that a symbol he is flirting with an idea of couplehood or parenting?

Strange phenomena.

Answer up guys, if you will

🙂

Possibly he fell in love and/or a paternal instinct.....just a thought

Thanks for your thoughts 🙂

Hmmm,never felt a sensation that was about wanting to become a father.

If I was in a successful,stable relationship Id imagine in time I mite feel that way,but Ive never been in one yet..it would be a product or extension of a progressed relationship

How about a prelude to a relationship?
As in, a bachelor suddenly realising he wants to couple up for nesting reasons.. ?

Not a sensation in wanting to become a father per se.. sort of like warming up to babies or becoming interested in them/ photographing them.. is it like the way a baby learns to walk or a bird learns to fly?

A man learning to move away from self centredness.. something of that effect?

heehee 🙂

^ I get what you mean :-)
And so this does point to preparation for nesting then? 🙂

rhetorical, I guess. 🙂

I don't think we change that much. Definitely some changes when we actually become a father but the type of person we've been our whole lives is the type of person we will continue to be. If the guy has a history of being 'overly self-centered', dumb, whatever... that's the type of parent they would be.

I've always liked kids. I grew up in church and there were kids everywhere. As a teen some friends had much younger siblings. One ex's parents ran an in-home daycare. I have been around kids since I was one. I was never in a rush to have my own but I knew one day I would and I've always wanted the family, white picket fence, etc. I have a few friends that are the same way.

On the other side of it. I've known some guys who never really liked kids. They never intended to settle down, never wanted kids, etc. These are the guys who either run when he gets someone pregnant or will 'settle down' for a while. Maybe they'll try the family thing cause they got thrust into it but they have no real interest in it. Eventually, they'll run off too.

Obviously there is more involved but I'm just talking about parenting and men. I'm assuming all other things are equal. Also, men don't have a biological clock. We'll never wake up one day and say oh shit I need to settle down and raise a family now or I never will. Physically we can father kids til the day we die.

IMO if a guy seems to change from sowing his oats to wanting have kids it is more to do with him choosing the person he wants to be with than him saying "I want a kid".

i don't think i'm ready to be a dad just yet but i grew up looking after my two younger brothers which helped me to develop fatherly feelings (?) towards kids in general from a really young age....i've noticed that a lot of guys with younger siblings tend to be more of a stability-seeking type...? i dunno. my best buddy also has two baby brothers and he's full of paternal instinct and he looks for stable relationships as opposed to flings. i'm the same way. i never really felt the desire to ''shop around''...or sow my wild oats...

Spica, I don't any person works this way, not even women .... if I'm understanding your train of thought right.


People (both genders) tend to be able to 'talk' about their future, abstractly, if that word can be used in this fashion to describe this as being disassociated from personal accountibility. Additionally, people (both genders) can also be totally awed about a gurgling baby, blowing bubbles, chubby-cheeking, and snorting .... again abstractly if you allow me this description. Not even sure that it can even be adverb.


Anyway, you are attempting to make a connection to insinuate that if a man does talk about his future, and if he does like babies ... then this must be an indication about his desire to settle down .. and people don't work that way, niether gender.



When people make life altering decisions, which to settle down into a commmited relationship that directly leads to marriage and/or the intential conception of a baby .... stems directly from a current life event .... key word 'current'.

A wo/man when in the relationship that is evolving with the desirable attributes .. thinks about future and baby.

A wo/man when in the relationship that needs to trapped ... thinks about manipuations of future and baby.

When a wo/man is given news of mortality of any person they are close to, including themselves ... thinks about future and children.

When a wo/man feels neglected/abandoned/unhonored in life for every reason ... they tend to think in terms of close associations to make themselves feel better.

There are numerous sceneros where people find life taking major turns, and these intersections is where they make the life changing decisions.


In your situation, Spica, if I were you .... if the guy who is talking in terms of future, and babies ... I would get him a puppy, and encourage his continuance of the angle of conversation and closely observe if he puts names and positions to his talk, or see if he's just vaguely pondering life.

Changeable paternal instincts seem to only come into play when danger or safety is a concern ... otherwise, these instincts are virtually non-comprehensible, due to the nature of it being instinctual.

Posted by LibraSid
I don't think we change that much. Definitely some changes when we actually become a father but the type of person we've been our whole lives is the type of person we will continue to be. If the guy has a history of being 'overly self-centered', dumb, whatever... that's the type of parent they would be.

I've always liked kids. I grew up in church and there were kids everywhere. As a teen some friends had much younger siblings. One ex's parents ran an in-home daycare. I have been around kids since I was one. I was never in a rush to have my own but I knew one day I would and I've always wanted the family, white picket fence, etc. I have a few friends that are the same way.

On the other side of it. I've known some guys who never really liked kids. They never intended to settle down, never wanted kids, etc. These are the guys who either run when he gets someone pregnant or will 'settle down' for a while. Maybe they'll try the family thing cause they got thrust into it but they have no real interest in it. Eventually, they'll run off too.

Obviously there is more involved but I'm just talking about parenting and men. I'm assuming all other things are equal. Also, men don't have a biological clock. We'll never wake up one day and say oh shit I need to settle down and raise a family now or I never will. Physically we can father kids til the day we die.

IMO if a guy seems to change from sowing his oats to wanting have kids it is more to do with him choosing the person he wants to be with than him saying "I want a kid".

Thanks for that. Yes you did answer my question quite fully.
"Also, men don't have a biological clock. We'll never wake up one day and say oh butter I need to settle down and raise a family now or I never will. Physically we can father kids til the day we die. "

Yup a lucky thing about men. So when they actually want to be with a woman, they have to follow her biological clock. But you forgot that men do age.. so in the words of Simon Cowell (! - he of all people) he says that he doesnt want to be holding a walking stick when his kids need to run around with him, or something along those lines.

So, I agree with personality enduring as well. But then there are only certain facets people are willing to show to others. For example, if a guy doesn't want to commit at a certain time, his actions will show it -

For example, if a guy doesn't want to commit at a certain time, his actions will show it - and that includes a rejection of fruits of commitment, aka babies.

I noticed that Libra men can be a bit maternal; at least for my Lib (no, not saying he's girly 😛) but he has a side more maternal than I am, Lmao!

Posted by Jesse91
i don't think i'm ready to be a dad just yet but i grew up looking after my two younger brothers which helped me to develop fatherly feelings (?) towards kids in general from a really young age....i've noticed that a lot of guys with younger siblings tend to be more of a stability-seeking type...? i dunno. my best buddy also has two baby brothers and he's full of paternal instinct and he looks for stable relationships as opposed to flings. i'm the same way. i never really felt the desire to ''shop around''...or sow my wild oats...

Kewl, and you're MARRIED? Forreals? 🙂
I actually think "sowing wild oats" is a phase some peopl go through; a product of confusion - and does indicate a lack of respect for people - seeing them as slabs of meat.
People who "shop around" perhaps believe in randomness, but then there isn't really any prove otherwise 😉

Posted by aquagirl24

Posted by spica
When do men go from the 'sowing wild oats' phase to the 'baby wanting' phase? Is there such a thing as paternal instincts - and when a man starts getting infatuated with babies is that a symbol he is flirting with an idea of couplehood or parenting?

Strange phenomena.

Answer up guys, if you will

🙂

lol this was a good post... interesting...

click to expand

😛 x

Posted by aPiscesPrincess
Most of the guys I've talked to or had some kind of relationship have been ones that talked about wanting a family and children.. so yes I think some men definitely have a 'paternal instinct'. Just like some girls have a maternal instinct and some don't. I've always been attracted to guys a lot older than me though, and ones who seem somewhat paternal and caring. And I've always wanted a family of my own and children someday, so those are the types I seem to attract.

Great, hope you get your wish 🙂

Posted by P-Angel
Spica, I don't any person works this way, not even women .... if I'm understanding your train of thought right.


People (both genders) tend to be able to 'talk' about their future, abstractly, if that word can be used in this fashion to describe this as being disassociated from personal accountibility. Additionally, people (both genders) can also be totally awed about a gurgling baby, blowing bubbles, chubby-cheeking, and snorting .... again abstractly if you allow me this description. Not even sure that it can even be adverb.


Anyway, you are attempting to make a connection to insinuate that if a man does talk about his future, and if he does like babies ... then this must be an indication about his desire to settle down .. and people don't work that way, niether gender.



When people make life altering decisions, which to settle down into a commmited relationship that directly leads to marriage and/or the intential conception of a baby .... stems directly from a current life event .... key word 'current'.
....

In your situation, Spica, if I were you .... if the guy who is talking in terms of future, and babies ... I would get him a puppy, and encourage his continuance of the angle of conversation and closely observe if he puts names and positions to his talk, or see if he's just vaguely pondering life.

Wo/man, you use so many bombastic words you have almost lost me 😛
I have to read your passage again 3 time before I fully comprehend it, but I do appreciate your advice.
And I think you meant the same thing..

Same concept, different ways of putting it. Current life events can trigger instincts, or even whatever little crap or emotions. Life is interconnected.

And theories can be put forth by anyone or anything. You can't disprove this as much as I can't disprove yours, so.. 😛

Posted by everevolvingepithet

Posted by spica

Posted by Jesse91
i don't think i'm ready to be a dad just yet but i grew up looking after my two younger brothers which helped me to develop fatherly feelings (?) towards kids in general from a really young age....i've noticed that a lot of guys with younger siblings tend to be more of a stability-seeking type...? i dunno. my best buddy also has two baby brothers and he's full of paternal instinct and he looks for stable relationships as opposed to flings. i'm the same way. i never really felt the desire to ''shop around''...or sow my wild oats...

Kewl, and you're MARRIED? Forreals? 🙂
I actually think "sowing wild oats" is a phase some peopl go through; a product of confusion - and does indicate a lack of respect for people - seeing them as slabs of meat.
People who "shop around" perhaps believe in randomness, but then there isn't really any prove otherwise 😉

Is it wrong to laugh at unwanted pregnancies etc (on both sides) in relation to that train of thought ?
Shame for the kid, but on the other side....

click to expand

Not laughing.. your interpretation?

This is a thought forum; you're a thought police?

sue me if u want 😛

Posted by everevolvingepithet
Maybe stds too ?
hmm

Stds are a result of something a person should take responsibility for. Same with babies?
One can just reframe their mind into positive and it becomes such.

Posted by spica

Posted by P-Angel
Spica, I don't any person works this way, not even women .... if I'm understanding your train of thought right.


People (both genders) tend to be able to 'talk' about their future, abstractly, if that word can be used in this fashion to describe this as being disassociated from personal accountibility. Additionally, people (both genders) can also be totally awed about a gurgling baby, blowing bubbles, chubby-cheeking, and snorting .... again abstractly if you allow me this description. Not even sure that it can even be adverb.


Anyway, you are attempting to make a connection to insinuate that if a man does talk about his future, and if he does like babies ... then this must be an indication about his desire to settle down .. and people don't work that way, niether gender.



When people make life altering decisions, which to settle down into a commmited relationship that directly leads to marriage and/or the intential conception of a baby .... stems directly from a current life event .... key word 'current'.
....

In your situation, Spica, if I were you .... if the guy who is talking in terms of future, and babies ... I would get him a puppy, and encourage his continuance of the angle of conversation and closely observe if he puts names and positions to his talk, or see if he's just vaguely pondering life.

Wo/man, you use so many bombastic words you have almost lost me 😛
I have to read your passage again 3 time before I fully comprehend it, but I do appreciate your advice.
And I think you meant the same thing..

Same concept, different ways of putting it. Current life events can trigger instincts, or even whatever little crap or emotions. Life is interconnected.

And theories can be put forth by anyone or anything. You can't disprove this as much as I can't disprove yours, so.. 😛

click to expand

Meant the same thing as what? You aren't referencing, so I don't know what concept you are relating mine to.

I didn't realize we were suppose to provide proof?

Defensive much?

And P=Angel

"In your situation, Spica, if I were you .... if the guy who is talking in terms of future, and babies ... I would get him a puppy, and encourage his continuance of the angle of conversation and closely observe if he puts names and positions to his talk, or see if he's just vaguely pondering life."

I do like your insinuation of a little experiment there, but it's hard to place a life on someone's hands just like that. A dog is a huge responsibility and can't be "thrust" unto someone just to fulfill one's desire for observation. You also forgot that pet-rearing is unlike minature-people (aka baby; dont rag on my un-PCness) rearing. Alot of good parents detest animals, and plenty animal lovers would substitute a pet for a partner any day.

And, people do have a choice whether to keep pets. You can give someone a pet as a present, but that desn't stop it from going to the (R)SPCA or given to a relative's friend's step sister-in-law.

(just for the sake of argument)

Plus considering a baby requires a lifetime commitment, while a dog only requires a 12 year commitment, it's a pale comparison - and considering you can say you "own" a pet, but not a baby.

"Meant the same thing as what? You aren't referencing, so I don't know what concept you are relating mine to.

I didn't realize we were suppose to provide proof?

Defensive much?"

Nope
😄

Ok, valid point, but you derailed everything like a good Neptunian 🙂

If you look at my Avatar, underneath you will see that I am a female .. so, to address me is clear that I am woman .. not wo/man.


Am I to guess that you cannot fathom what is meant by wo/man?

Posted by P-Angel
If you look at my Avatar, underneath you will see that I am a female .. so, to address me is clear that I am woman .. not wo/man.


Am I to guess that you cannot fathom what is meant by wo/man?

That got under your skin. 🙂
The mouse is wearing a skirt no? Of course I know you're female.
In proper reference journals, people would write man or woman, or, use the ubiquitous braquets "()" and not your convenient "slash", as it would mean wo or man.. and that doesn't make sense does it?

😛

If you choose to be defensive and make an arguement, rather than understand I was trying to tell you something to help you.


sobeit ... not my loss

You know what, nevermind .. it looks like you just want to argue.


I'm not going to parley with you because I was confused into believing you were looking for perspectives .. ok, you got me, you baited and I answered ... I realize now you just wanted someone to argue with.

Not me ... have a nice day

Posted by P-Angel
If you choose to be defensive and make an arguement, rather than understand I was trying to tell you something to help you.


sobeit ... not my loss

I have thought about it before, and I explained to you why I didn't think it would work...
But I mentioned I appreciate your helpfulness.

Posted by everevolvingepithet
I was refering to the 'slabs of meat' type of people Spica.
I don't feel bad. 🙂 and I like my way.🙂

Yes I think I know what you were referring to..
And most people do things their way.. they can perceive happenings and results however they like; the way it best works for them..

Posted by P-Angel
You know what, nevermind .. it looks like you just want to argue.


I'm not going to parley with you because I was confused into believing you were looking for perspectives .. ok, you got me, you baited and I answered ... I realize now you just wanted someone to argue with.

Not me ... have a nice day

Have a sweet day, and a great impending weekend 🙂

Plus, I thought you wanted to argue too when you gave me extranneous perspectives. Your helpful part was the puppy.